The rest of the cast and crew have resigned to their tents or trailers with a precious few sneaking out to get their smoke breaks ahead of the crowd. Under the red stage lights the back of the tent heats up, either thanks to the lights or the people rushing by in makeup and oversized outfits. Kurapika's on a low bench, face in his hands. If Killua or Illumi did anything to Kurapika, the man's got more than a show coming to him.
"Hey." He rests his hand on Kurapika's shoulder and gives it a good shake. The blonde doesn't flinch an inch.
"They didn't use the net."
"I noticed, you wanna talk about it?"
If a performer is going to perform, whether it's a stage play, a recording or a public performance, there needs to be a level of trust that everyone involved knows what they're doing. When that trust is breached, its difficult to focus, the performer and the performance get out of sync, all sorts of horrible things can happen. Who's to say that the director knows what he's doing, once he's already proven he doesn't care about the dangers presented?
"No, I was suspecting they wouldn't, it's just," Kurapika combs his hair back, his cheeks reddening to the ears with his lip pouting. "I practiced that routine so many times, in private, in front of Illumi, in front of Hisoka. Hisoka even cut the net while I performed it for him and I got it perfect, down to an art form. Then the moment its time to do it seriously, I'm a beginner again."
He's torn between Kurapika's adorable pouty act and feeling bad for him, he's so frustrated with himself its hard to believe he's the same calm, cool and collected guy that dealt with Killua earlier. "It's fine, I bet the crowd still loved it- think of it like a racing tournament. No one goes to watch cars going in a circle, they go to see a crash."
If there was one face he didn't think Kurapika could do it would be the 'shit eating grin'. He manages. "So the crowd wanted me to fail?"
"Ah- no, yes? I don't know, I'm not good at this!" Gon shrugs, he tried and that's what matters right? "I'm just saying, most definitely not the end of the world. By the end, the crowd was hollering anyway. You did fine, you'll be fine."
"How cute." Gon turns and Hisoka is there, because of course Hisoka is there why wouldn't he be, standing behind them with arms crossed and a hand raised over the bottom half of his face. His eyes are easy enough to read and all they're giving off is warning signs.
"I suppose you've come to discipline or punish me?"
"The fifth sentence we've shared and I'm already taking liking you." Hisoka's smile widens and his fingers dance along the thick tarp edges of the tent.
Kurapika props his feet up on a nearby chair and crosses his arms, flashing Hisoka a half-friendly, half-flirty smile. "I'm shocked you're counting, the hours seem to go by so slow until we next meet."
For the first time in forever Hisoka is visibly stunned, staring at Kurapika as if he's grown wings. Gon backs off a little, physically, from the two of them. Whatever the hell is going on here between these two he wants no part of it. Hisoka crosses his own arms, the smile on his face fading to something a tad more serious. "Congratulations, you've succeeded. On your first performance no less, the fall not withstanding."
"Despite the fall?"
"Of course, Illumi was so certain you would fail he didn't bother to put the net out."
Illumi would rather see them killed then hurt. It's disturbing, but for Illumi that's par for the course.
"I saw." Kurapika's sigh shakes through his body. Hisoka doesn't immediately respond, which is a shock; Maybe Hisoka's finally gotten as sick of the sound of his own voice as Gon has.
"So rude of him, at least he owes me now." The sad, puppy dog look he gives is obviously feigned.
"Why?"
"Because he bet you would fall, I bet you would get an applause."
"That's not what I meant." Kurapika's a bit more serious now and Gon's never felt more lost in his entire life; what the hell are they talking about?
Hisoka gives Kurapika the sort of look he's only seen on angry mothers, the clown reaches out and touches the top of Kurapika's head, right on top of his blonde hair. A tiny pin prick of pain confirms he's gripping the bench so hard that he's begun to get splinters. Doesn't matter what Hisoka's planning or if Kurapika's in on it or not, Hisoka should never, ever touch him. Ever. Kurapika, on the other hand, is unfazed - if not outright grinning.
The clown rounds around with a grin until he's standing in front of him. His foot is in direct crotch reaching length. This could be a good opportunity..."It's been a while, Gon~ "
He's a little proud of himself, since he doesn't full blown bristle but only manages a disturbed, shivering twitch. If Hisoka knows its because of him, he doesn't show it. When its clear Hisoka's waiting for a response, he mumbles "Yeah, it has." and prays the man turns and leaves.
Of course, he doesn't.
"Kurapika's a contracted member of the circus now, aren't you excited?"
Is...is that what the conversation was about and he just missed all of it? "Yeah," He tries on a mock smile. "I'm so glad for Kurapika, I didn't know he wasn't a contracted member yet is all."
"Why so glum then, dear? Miss me? "
"Nope, never, not even a little bit."
Hisoka's chuckle doesn't go unnoticed. "Good to hear it, I'd hate for you to feel lonely, these summer months have been so hot, haven't they?"
The question must've been rhetorical, because after that Hisoka leaves without a word. Both he and Kurapika watch him walk away before Kurapika sighs. "I'll figure that man out yet." He gives the wooden bench two quick taps and manages to his feet, stretching as he rises. "So, you wanna come over to my trailer?"
Gon's never said yes to anything faster in his life. The list of questions he has to ask are piling up the more he thinks about it, mainly what the hell are you and Hisoka doing rubbing elbows like that? Once he sees it, the tiny and almost insignificant thing is a bit stunning. Dirt clings to the off side as if someone's taken it for a joy ride through a dump, its off white and old looking - there's a curious smell of something dead clinging to it.
"That's your trailer?"
"Ah, sorry. It's new, we'll have it cleaned off soon." It sure as hell does not look like it. Kurapika swings the keys on his finger and smiles at Gon as if the place they gave him didn't look like a filthy pig sty. He translated that entire conversation wrong didn't he, if Hisoka liked Kurapika in the slightest, he sure as hell wouldn't have forced him to live in this.
The inside is stunning, its wider on the inside then he thought and has a big bed towards the back, a nice little kitchen and bathroom. Kurapika doesn't have it too bad, then. He doesn't have to go around re-arranging faces. Kurapika flops down on his bed with the sort of full body slump that screams 'exhaustion'.
"Should I leave? I totally get if you need to rest." Flipping through the air like an indecisive bird would exhaust anyone, but even with Kurapika's slumped posture, the man manages a cute smile.
"Nope." He grabs Gon's hand and pulls him onto the bed besides him. The fall is none too graceful but he ends up facing Kurapika with their hands still intertwined.
He isn't sure when he's ever felt so warm and comfy, being with Kurapika is like being wrapped up in blankets, playing video games under the covers with hot cocoa on a snowy afternoon. Not that he'd say any of that, he'd seem like a freaking giant desperate nerd. And he's still got all this worthless trash in him he needs to get rid of, not pollute Kurapika with.
He pulls his hands back, scoots a little further away. "What were you and Hisoka talking about?"
Kurapika eyes go wet. A million apologies dance at the tip of his tongue, 'I'm sorry I'm so fucked up I can't even hold hands with you in friendly way', 'I'm sorry I still can't believe you really exist and give me the time of day', amongst other things. Of course, none of that makes its way out, nothing can make its way out.
"Nothing, really." Kurapika breathes a little deeper and eventually Gon can't see that little twinkle of light in his eyes. He isn't sure whether to be angry at himself for letting the moment slip or thanking Kurapika for alleviating him of responsibility.
"But you two seemed so...chummy?"
"Gon, you...you do realize Hisoka helped me get into the circus in the first place, right? I might be homeless right now if it wasn't for that man, what's your problem with him? He scouted me, I'm only here because of him. If it weren't for the fact that Hisoka argued with Illumi for my contract I wouldn't have gotten my chance on the trapeze to begin with."
Gon isn't sure. One part of him wants to run screaming 'what the unholy fuck just happened?' and the other wants to head to his trailer, run the entire conversation through with a thin toothed comb and see if he missed some thinly veiled reference or joke or something.
"Hey, you alright?" Kurapika's looking like himself again, that look being the usual concerned and abnormally wise mom-friend. "What happened between you and Hisoka? Why are you like this tonight?"
Because I'm quite clearly blind, for starters. Hisoka, taking a child off the streets and welcoming them to the circus sounds like a familiar story but when its told by a different mouth its harder to take in. He remembers being like that, he remembers enjoying Hisoka's presence, his daring, that charming little gleam in his eye that promised adventure, excitement. He also remembers feeling weird and strange when Hisoka's hands wrapped around his waist and picked him up with more...attentiveness then anyone before him, bar one person, had.
This time its different though, this time Kurapika's older and wiser then he was. If Hisoka isn't hurting him, who's he to say his hero is a pedophile? And even if Hisoka's prowling and plotting on him Kurapika's a consenting and intelligent adult, they both are. Its none of his business to inject his drama between them after all the taxing he's done on Kurapika tonight. "Nothing, I just have a thing with clowns."
"That so?" Kurapika's smart enough to know that's a false turn, but he doesn't press for answers. Hisoka remains his personal hero, even if he's left wondering and Gon doesn't have to spill himself out on Kurapika with his own fucked up mess of a childhood, and for tonight, that's all that matters.
When the morning comes, and it unfortunately does, he finds himself in a strange position. His limbs are wrapped around Kurapika's in this strange dual embrace and worst off, Kurapika and the arm he's laying on are both fast asleep. After last night, he is really going to be that much of a jerk because of a little discomfort? Might as well let Kurapika sleep the whole morning away.
Why is he even here, to begin with? Why's Kurapika decided that out of everyone else in the circus, out of anyone else he could meet traveling the world with them, he's clinging the most awkward, lanky, weird kid imaginable? He fights tigers and wrestles hungry bears for living, he's spent time in places he doesn't want to think about. Christ, wow its so hard to breathe and think at the same time and his face is all hot, how weak is he for this. He's a fucking weirdo and Kurapika's blonde with perfect pale skin, a beautiful sweet smile and massive blue eyes that - are open and staring right at him.
"Ahahaha, g'morning!" Gon wipes his eyes without showing his face. The entire point of letting Kurapika rest and not push any subjects was to make sure he didn't get sobbed on and now he's sniveling like some first grader who needs a nap, where does he stop with this nonsense?
"Gon, what happened?" Kurapika starts to get up and Gon escapes the bed, feigning a stretch.
"Nothing, nothing at all, morning Kurapika."
"Gon, Gon, please- no, don't, don't do that." Kurapika reaches for his hand and tries to ease him back to the bed, parts of him want to go, the rest of him wants out of this place as soon as he physically can because the entire trailer feels too small for words, the walls are pressing in on him and he can't get the air in his lungs. "Please, I'm begging you, talk to me."
Nope, not when I know how that shit ends and christ wow it hurts. "Outside," he manages, "We have to head outside. It's morning, need to see the trope schedule, need to plan for the day."
He doesn't enjoy fighting Kurapika but when Kurapika lets go he's hurt, confused in a way. On a base level, perhaps he hoped more effort would be expended for him, even when he was being intentionally opaque.
"I'll meet you outside as soon as I get my stuff together, okay?"
Gon nods as if he has a choice in the matter, amazing how much of his own garbage he's releasing on Kurapika at this point. It's a wonder he hasn't gotten the infamous ultimatum to either nut up or shut up about his problems. Still, he thanks him and rushes out of the way, gathers his jacket and heads out, closing the door behind him, disaster somewhat averted.
Kurapika comes out and its as if nothing else happened and by god, he's so okay with that he lets it happen. If Kurapika is willing to not acknowledge anything that just happened he's more then willing to play along.
"Geez, days like this make me wish I practiced less." Kurapika rolls his shoulder to show his point. "I locked up on the flip last night, strained something or another after the fall."
The fall...that's gonna haunt him for years. If it wasn't his job, he'd be on his hands and knees begging Kurapika to not go back up there. Hell, he might still do it, Illumi's too fucking weird to work with if he's gone so far as to start sabotaging his own performances.
They walk back towards the tent for afternoon practice and - ah, what an eventful day this is turning out to be. If he asks now, will Kurapika turn them both around, let them wallow under the covers for a good two hours? Killua's leaning against the cotton candy vendor, a massive bright blue bag of the stuff hanging by his side. Given everything that's happened already, he'd like to get out of this without a fight but given those ice blue eyes are already locked on them, that's not happening.
Kurapika grabs his hand. His first instinct is to yank his hand away but he looks at Kurapika who gives him a resolute glare and walks them both right past Killua without another word and despite everything, Killua doesn't even bother to acknowledge them.
The day goes by without a hitch. Kurapika doesn't bring up his absurd weirdness when they're reading through their individual acts for tonight. Killua isn't present which is always a good thing, regardless of the context and best off Gon doesn't end the day a sobbing, lonely mess. All and all, great work given what he started with. It's hard to see the day ease into night, its their group's turn to start performing now and they go their separate ways until the end.
It's the usual routine, nothing special. A line of trained seals balancing balls on their heads for the treat of fish with the infamous comedy bit of the clown pretending to be one of them. Nothing groundbreaking, enough to make people think they're holding back without making them think they're unskilled. Or so he thinks, he has no idea how Illumi plans these things.
The show goes on and its Kurapika's turn. He's taken a reserved seat towards the front of the crowd, the lights come down and its Kurapika with three other performers on the highest platform. Not as many people up there as last time, not good. If Kurapika screws up, not only is he not going to get away with it, it's going to show big time. He catches himself folding the edge of his shorts, biting his lip and how could he not - there's no net out, again.
"Breathe for me, won't you?~ "
Where this man comes from and how he sneaks in, he'll never know but god does he want it to stop. Hisoka's sitting on the ground, leaning against the divider looking so pleased with himself you'd swear his hands were down his pants instead of folded across his chest.
"You're stalking me again, great. Save it 'til after the show."
"How selfish of you. I came to watch the show too, after all I'm interested in Kurapika's progress. Though, if you miss me that bad you can wait til after the show and...indulge in my company~ ." He ends with a wink.
If only he got a bag of cotton candy to hurl in, why can't this man take a hint and fuck off? Sure, he's Kurapika's buddy but...wait, Kurapika's progress? He did say Hisoka helped him get into the circus in the first place, it couldn't be... "Kurapika's getting better, right?"
"Against all odds. I've got a running bet against Illumi. Shame about Kurapika, his 'official trainer' is a complete buffoon, if you were to ask me~ "
So Hisoka's not lying...shady insults or not he has a vested interest in Kurapika's success. Having a bet with Illumi, as Hisoka, is not an uncommon thing. Those two are not right, not like not right as in everything they do is wrong, which it is, but not right as in they operate on some absurd plane of reality and morality that he wants no part of. Hell, Illumi was certain an eighteen year old kid would fail a public performance, so he did everything he could to make it more fatal so it could be more exciting.
Hisoka's outright interest strong enough to stay during the show, even when he doesn't have to come is a level of dedication both creepy or, given how friendly the two are, vaguely inspiring. Plus, Hisoka's a roundabout fool but he holds a lot of power here. Him taking a liking to Kurapika can't be anything but good in the long run, so long as he keeps those wandering hands to himself.
The only downfall he can see is Hisoka's own nature; is that interest detrimental or not to Kurapika's future here at the circus? If he asks about it, he's not getting a straight answer.
All the lights come down on Kurapika and the blonde man stands alone on the tight rope, the other trapezers standing on their own individual platforms. The whole crowd, previously communicating in occasional bursts of gasps, now have only hushed conversations between themselves.
He can see a few familiar faces in the crowd, not a surprise but now he knows for sure: people haven't forgotten Kurapika's fall. And if he's noticed it, Illumi's known it since Kurapika first fell and this entire set up is intentional. Illumi's banking on Kurapika's mistake to rile up the people up. Now's the real question; is he hoping Kurapika succeeds or that he fails?
From the corner of his eye he can see Hisoka's eyebrow raise even then he doesn't bother to turn around and look at the scene. Perhaps he wasn't expecting this, perhaps he can get something out of Hisoka.
"What's Illumi planning?"
"...Beats me."
That can't be anything more then a complete and total lie with how much time they spend together. Those two are scheming something on Kurapika right now, he'd put money on it. He's half a mind to crash the show and when Kurapika leans forward, a level of control oozing from his actions that puts Gon to mild ease, he sits just that much closer to the edge of his seat.
A trapezer swings as Kurapika falls and Kurapika reaches out, they catch each other in mid air and swing free gathering momentum until they're moving not unlike a pendulum. Then the other trapezer comes in and swings towards them - he's getting flash backs all over again. His fingers are scratching into the leather, come on, come on. Kurapika leaps...and he's fine, swinging faster along his new companion until they're quicker then he thinks is physically possible, much less safe. The crowds begun a little applause as Kurapika flips back and forth between the two trapezers.
One trapezer grabs him and they swing back together, Kurapika leaning back furthest until they're swinging forward. He grabs the bar, the two let go of the previous bar and they swing together. Kurapika, flying through the air with two people dangling from his legs, swinging in unison to the next trapeze, then the next. Gon's heart couldn't be farther up in his throat. Everyone's watching, waiting until they all fly at once, to the next trapeze, moving like one huge body to bend their 'legs' on the new trapeze.
The circus explodes into cheers and they do it twice more, the second time they even flip over entirely, with Kurapika now becoming the upside down legs. The lights come back on as they fly and they take turns waving to the audience, Kurapika goes as far as to blow a kiss. Gon...needs heart surgery, he might not be able to come and see Kurapika's shows again if this is the level of risk involved with the whole shebang.
He exhales, tries to regain some sense of composure while the trapezers land and disperse with a final shower of applause and bows, and loses it when he hears Hisoka's slow clap. Hisoka, out of everyone, is visibly impressed.
Who cares what act is next, he dashes from his seat to go and find Kurapika, they need to talk yesterday.
The clowns are outside taking their smoke breaks, he deals with it and covers his nose while he passes. Does Hisoka know they do that in public areas, where people can see? Meh, who cares. Kurapika's on the far side of the room, getting pats on the back from two other circus troupe members. He waves and Kurapika turns to him without a moments hesitation and waves him to come over.
"I was hoping you'd stay to watch me." Kurapika's forehead shines in the dusky table lights with a fine later of sweat. His white jumpsuit looks stained and he's barefoot. But above everything else, he's alive and not flipping through the air, doing daring stunts that could kill him because Illumi's insane.
Gon hugs him without thinking, because he's here and that in and of itself is beautiful. "Are you kidding, I wouldn't miss it!" His heartbeat is so strong its enough to make him smile. Just that one little constant reminder that he's here and he didn't fall and the first fall didn't end him and he's still his friend. Kurapika doesn't hug him back - maybe he shouldn't have done that in front of everyone? Hell, for all he knows Kurapika's doesn't actually enjoy his company and was just playing until he got in good with the rest of the aerial acrobats.
Kurapika hugs him back after a moment's notice. But if he caused damage, then the damage is done. Gon pulls his arms away from Kurapika and flashes him a quick smile. Kurapika mirrors his actions, nodding as he does. "Thank you."