Quietus

Chapter 11

There is some kind of bright light shining in my eyes, and I seriously doubt it is the lighting of the pathway to the stairwell to heaven. One thing that makes me believe this is not some ethereal eternal light; is that I'm feeling really irritable, and if by the faintest chance I was actually able to make it to the pearly gates, surely I would be in a jollier mood about it.

In case you are wondering, I am definitely not in a good mood. I feel like someone has kicked me in the side and I have a splitting headache. Right now though, I am trying to brush aside the blinding light away from my eyes. I am swatting at whatever this is to make them to move away from me. I must have hit my mark because I felt my hand connect with something solid.

"Hold still you ingrate," the words hold a distinct accent, not mine, or the Midwestern accent most the citizens of Salem possess either, rather this one is harsher, Germanic in origin.

I squint my eyes and of course it is Rolf and immediately I push him away from me. I don't want his scrutinizing gaze upon me.

"Get away from me," I order, the warning clear in my voice even if it sounds slightly gravely in my own ears.

"It is of no use if you won't allow me to help you," Rolf stated with resignation.

"I don't need your help," I push myself up and manage to stand on my own two feet.

Rolf shakes his head sadly and that makes me angry. I never want anyone's pity. I am not a person to garner true concern for my well being so for Rolf to be lurking over me I don't take it as a good sign.

I look around the room, my eyes searching for the one person I need to see and of course she is nowhere to be found. I've got to find Samantha again and try to unravel this mystery of her and our children's disappearance from my life.

"Please leave my room. I need to get dressed," I state succinctly.

Rolf turns away with a shake of his head and departs from the room as I have requested. I go to the closet and today all I see are suits, very expensive ones. I don't have time to rummage around for more comfortable clothes so I grab what I need and within a few minutes I'm ready to go out.

I open the door and no one is in sight. How did Rolf steal away so quietly? What I wouldn't give to hear the sound of my children laughing and playing? Where are they?

I don't come into contact with anyone else before I leave the mansion. Usually the house is bustling with activity, sometimes too much as I recall the large gathering the other day around here.

I don't have time to think about these things though. Right now I'm on a mission to find my wife, and bring her back home with me, so that we can live the life we have dreamed about with our children.

I feel a distinct pull to go to St. Luke's, maybe they are all there waiting for me to arrive so I hasten my steps to the sanctuary. I'm sure this is the key to getting Samantha back to where she belongs, which is with me.

I open the door though and suddenly my heart drops as I hear Samantha praying, but she isn't praying for our family.

She's praying to God that I'm not the father of her child.

I mutter out a Jesus Christ before I think better of it. Not that I'm afraid I will be struck by the wrath of God for blasphemy. My utterance is loud enough for Samantha to stop her vigilant prayers and turn her sights on me.

This time she isn't smiling at me. She doesn't look like she remembers our earlier conversation about being friends with me. Right now she appears to want to strangle me instead.

Her promise to see me around Salem sometime seems to have vanished into thin air as I hear her heatedly state, "What are you doing here EJ?"

"I came to find you," I answer. This is the truth I have come to find her, but in her mind my coming here equates to something more nefarious.

"You've come to torture me some more?" Samantha stands up to her full height just daring me to cross her.

"No darling, I came to bring you home. You need to come home with me."

The eye roll she instantly gives me is one I have seen many times before, "What kind of drugs are you on? You and I don't live together. We will never live together. I don't want anything to do with you!"

"That's not true," I shake my head in negation.

"You are delusional!"

I grab her hand even though she tries to pull it back away from me. I look at the engagement ring she is now sporting on her hand. It isn't the one I saw her wear earlier when I ran into her at Salem Place. Sadly it isn't mine that I gave her either.

No, this engagement ring came from Lucas.

"Let go of my hand," she orders me, but I don't listen to her. I hope somehow by our touching one another something will make her realize I am the man who loves her, the man who would do anything in the world for her.

For Samantha to be a petite woman, she is very strong especially when she is upset and I do seem to bring out that quality in her more than most. She finally manages to wiggle her hand out of my grasp even though her skin is reddened by my trying to hold onto her.

"He doesn't love you," is all that I say to her which only increases her ire.

"Lucas loves me, he is the father of my child, and he will be the father of this child too!"

Oh how I want to tell her she is going to have twins, beautiful babies. Babies that over time taught me how to love unselfishly.

I can tell she isn't ready to hear the truth, when she gets in this state of mind she has tunnel vision.

"Lucas Roberts isn't the love of your life any more than Austin was, neither one of them will love you the way you need to be loved."

"I love Lucas and we are going to be married soon. You need to leave me the hell alone EJ DiMera!"

I can't hold back the chuckle which almost causes me to be the recipient of a slap from her, but I easily dodge it by stepping back and reaching for her arm.

"Sweetheart, you need to calm down. Getting upset isn't' good for your condition."

"You make me upset!" She states heatedly as she tries to pull away from me once more, but this time my hold is stronger and I pull her closer to me.

"Samantha, look at me."

The stubborn creature that she is though she refuses my request.

"Please Samantha, just look at me for a moment. I have something I need to tell you."

Her curiosity of what I might impart to her outweighs her need to get away from me. Finally after a huff and an utterance I can't quite make out she turns those defiant eyes upon me and even in her anger her beauty takes my breath away from me.

"You've got thirty seconds," she warns me and I know I better make the most of my limited time with her.

"Samantha, remember our talk from earlier, the one where we said we would be friends. I told you that day Austin wasn't the one for you and today I'm telling you the same thing about Lucas. There is only one man who will ever love you unconditionally and that is me. I love you Samantha."

She is immediately confused by my words and her eyes soften for a brief second and in that second I take the chance that I am given. I put my hands under her chin to lift up her face and I gently kiss her.

At first she gives into the feeling, this magical feeling that arises whenever we kiss and then suddenly she tenses up and breaks the kiss.

Her voice is pleading in its tone. "Please stop trying to confuse me. Your actions have proven to me, that we aren't friends and we will never be in love with one another."

"We will be in love, we are in love! Please Samantha come home with me!"

She takes a shaky breath as tears form in her eyes and she does what she does best.

She runs away from me.