The next few days go on without a hitch, not even from his own weirdo personality. The days begin with him meeting up with Kurapika in front of his trailer, chewing the fat and grabbing cotton candy on the way to pre-show practice and meeting up after. Kurapika's acrobatic stints go on without another mistake, as far as he could see anyway and if he can't see it the average audience member probably can't.
Hisoka's as impossible to scrape off as gum stuck to your shoe. He pops up towards the end of Kurapika's shows, a ghostly grin on his lips, sitting on the sidelines watching the show with an intensity that is disturbing. Sure, Kurapika can go on forever about not hating people for no reason, that's not gonna stop him from watching out.
"Why're you here?" Gon asked on the third day of keeping a close eye of the man. Hisoka gave him an amused grin and said nothing, choosing to lock his hands behind his back and hum an uninspired tune.
The next day, the shows become more intense, the lions and bears come out, more trapezers fly though the air and the only time he sees Hisoka is when the audience does. This is when he's supposed to be damned glad but every cell in his body screams that the bastard is planning something or another. Then again, this is Hisoka, his entire plan could be to not have a plan and just be outright sneaky, can never be sure what the hell he's up to.
It's a new day, time to repeat the cycle and meet up with Kurapika again. The blonde man's already ready, cotton candy bag in hand, in front of his trailer.
"I'm doing the lion routine tonight, I think. Did you get to meet him yet?"
"No, but I'm curious. Is he big?"
"Pretty huge, as far as they go around here." He says with a stupid grin, how that earns a giggle from Kurapika he'll never know.
"Sounds like fun, I guess. Promise not to get hurt, hunter boy." Kurapika giggles and smacks him on the shoulder. He'll never get tired of hearing his cute little laugh.
"I guess I could try~" He all but sings, stumbling forward until something smacks him dead center in the forehead, hard enough to make him grunt and cover his temple. Holy fuck, that hurt.
"So when's the wedding?" Killua walks out from behind the cotton candy booth, tossing an apple in the air and catching it with a smarmy grin. "Hold on, don't tell me. Spring, with foreign marriage vows, small, in a park or garden, no family members. Not for lack of invites though."
Wow, fuck this kid and the horse he rode in on. "What do you want, Killua?" Kurapika asks, finally he gets the slightest bit mad.
"Oh don't you start, fucking fairy boy. Out of everyone here, you're like...the least impressive? 'I do cartwheels. In the air. Somehow that makes me better then everyone else.'" Killua rolls his eyes, the whole 'don't hate' thing aside would Kurapika have a problem if he decided, right now, to punch Killua's teeth down his throat. "Hey Gon, you really gonna be caught dead around this spindly little faggot cause you know he just wants to be all over you?"
Kurapika's about to speak but he's had just about enough of Killua's shit. "Look you pale, weird, creepy Ring-girl looking asshole, Kurapika is my friend, he's fucking awesome, unlike you who just walks around being an angry, boring fucking edgelord all day, doing nothing with your life." Killua blinks, as if the concept of people wanting him to shut the fuck up is so absurdly foreign to him.
"'Edgelord', are you serious-"
"Tch, whatever. What a waste of breath." He grabs Kurapika's hand leads him back towards the tent. The quicker they get away from that obnoxious bastard, the better. Kurapika doesn't say a word to the contrary, even when he's leaving to go practice with the lions, so he must've done a good job in this case, right? Not too 'hateful' for Kurapika's taste.
Practice separates them but they come back together after the show. They brought the fucking house down, if he does say so himself; when they meet up again they're both covered in sweat, arms heavy with various gifts of flowers and ribbons from the audience. It's hard to see Kurapika past all the roses and his ears are ringing from hearing all of Kurapika's squeaking fangirls.
Five days performing and he already has fangirls, that's one for the books. On top of that, Hisoka's missing and with the exception of Kurapika cradling his shoulder and whatever he has going on with Hisoka, life seems to be entirely back to 'normal'.
"High five for the best circus trope ever?" Gon grins to counter the somber expression on Kurapika's face - what could be the matter after the night they just had?
Kurapika mirrors him and reaches up, giving him a high five before dropping his arm back down with an annoyed hiss. He wasn't hiding it very well but Kurapika notices how worried he is, "You can hardly see it, but one of the trapezers kicked me by accident."
"Let me see." Accidents, in this circus, don't happen all that often. And with Killua breathing down their necks and what happened earlier, Kurapika getting some sort of 'accidental injury' is room for pause. Kurapika himself seems a little..concerned, as if he isn't sure whether he wants him to see or not. "Look, I know I overreacted with Killua and everything, I promise I won't freak out." Kurapika is really good at shit eating grins as it turns out, but he needs to stop practicing them on him. "I mean it."
Kurapika gives him a sideway glance, measuring him up and then loses his shirt. There it is, a ugly red and purple painted mark stretching from his upper shoulder to his lower back, swellings beginning to set in and mishape the usual subtle curve of his arms, he needs to get this on ice as soon as possible. No wonder Kurapika's been rubbing it so much, it looks awful.
"Remember, it was an accident."
"For his own sake, I hope its by accident. I'd fucking kill anyone who did this to you on purpose." Kurapika shoots him a look and he nods his head in apology. Kurapika is right to some extent, he's going to need to restrain himself..maybe, probably, depending on whether or not he can track down who did this. "For right now though, lets take care of it okay?" Gon takes Kurapika by the hand, Killua's not around and Hisoka's still holding the audience hostage with his performance so they get to his trailer without too much trouble.
Gon turns on the lights, sits Kurapika down on the messy bed he still refuses to clean and gets a first aid kit and a small bag of plastic filled with ice cubes. Taking a second look at that shoulder, maybe he shouldn't touch it - what if he does more harm then good. In fact, why is he even trying to do this? "We should take you to the medical tent so Leorio can take a look at it instead."
"No, I trust you." Kurapika shakes his head and gives him a smile that hurts because what if he fucks up, what if that trust is horrifically fucking misplaced and he ruins Kurapika's shoulder because he put the ice in the wrong place or something stupid like that? "That's why you're saying you don't want to do it anymore right? Because you think you'll mess up? I trust you, I don't see the issue here."
Kurapika has no idea how much of a giant asshole he is, if there's no way to ruin something, he's the type of person who could find it - he has to be. "I don't see why I'm the last resort. Leorio, our doctor, can take a look at that."
"No, if I go to the medical tent they'll tell me I can't perform on this shoulder, I can't not perform, what if Illumi does something crazy again?"
"You can't, I'm not much with anything besides bandages but you can't perform with that. Illumi's evil but he's not stupid, I'm sure he'll see that you're helping bring in the crowds."
"Don't you think I know my own body well enough to say whether or not I can perform?"
"Don't you think I know my own first aid kit skills well enough to say whether or not I can help you? "
"Don't do that to me." Kurapika jabs his finger into the center of his chest. "We're friends, but you need to relax and stop being so...manipulative."
"I'm manipulative?" Gon slaps Kurapika's hand away. "You're the one that's friends with Fucky the Clown out there!"
"That's...that's exactly what I mean, first you're trying to convince me Killua's awful, then Hisoka's a pedophile and now I don't know my own strength and I don't trust you." Kurapika rubs the bridge of his nose and Gon can't help but walk away and aimlessly do the same, funny how he ended up in fight fucking up their friendship while desperately trying to not do just that.
"That's not what I meant," He deflates, gets a good grasp on himself so that he doesn't scream or cry out like a giant baby. "You're making me seem like a bigger jerk then I am and you're constantly reminding me how much of a fuck up I am, that I'm hardly worthy to even be around you, much less your friend and-"
"Woah, slow down a sec," Kurapika grabs his shoulder, "Where did that come from, I never said any of that."
...Yeah, where did that come from, anyhow? He isn't the only one thinking it right, anyone who sees him together thinks they're an oddball couple that shouldn't be together. The weird kid from the forest and the prince like boy from an ancient tribe, friends, what a load.
"Gon, I'm concerned about you." Kurapika whispers, his hand comes up and wipes away a tear with the pad of his thumb. Fuck, he's crying and nothing's happened yet, someone save him. "Do you honestly think I've never thought you were good enough for me, did you think if you messed anything up or did something imperfectly, I would leave?"
Well, yes obviously. He doesn't say that of course, he just sort of kicks the floor and wonders what he should say.
"Silly, precious thing." Kurapika chuckles. Gon laughs, then Kurapika's mouth is pressing against his, one hand cradling his neck, sliding down until its tugging down the fabric on the back of his shirt. It's a good thing to have a really cute, shirtless, royal looking blonde trying to get his tongue into your mouth, right?
He leans back to move with the pull and Kurapika's opposite hand touches his abs, then moves upwards, slowly until his hand is directly over his heart. Gon doesn't know what he should be doing, but he should be doing something or another shouldn't he? He opens his mouth and Kurapika moans, its enough to make his knees go weak. He grabs Kurapika's hips, he's so slender and pretty like a butterfly or a piece of art, if he grabs him too hard he'll break. Then he cuts off that line of reasoning, he isn't doing anything that would hurt Kurapika, he's not ruining everything yet.
Kurapika must like it, because his next move is to grab Gon's head, twist his own mouth against his and pulls him forward by his shirt until he gets the message 'Bed, now'.
Gon picks Kurapika up and the blonde wraps his legs around his waist. That's good thinking, okay. He collapses them both back on the bed. He thought for sure he'd fuck that up and body slam Kurapika or smack his head against the headboard but Kurapika's all giggles and threading his fingers through his hair.
Kissing and kissing until he can't taste anything but Kurapika on his lips and Kurapika's hands have thoroughly explored every inch of his chest, curled under his shirt and torn the thing off only to scrape down his back. That, that is so unbelievably good, he grinds down on Kurapika's waist and-
Kurapika's body shoots up with a moan that's as if he's lost control of his body and Gon stops. Did he hurt him, or something, that didn't sound like what someone should sound like. "You-You're quite the romantic, huh?" Kurapika laughs with an exhale that eases his whole body back to the bed. His fingers curl under Gon's chin and he grins, biting his lip and looking him over. This has become something a hell of a lot different then he thought it would. Kurapika kisses a spot in the crevice under his chin, beneath his ear.
"I mean, I guess but I wouldn't call myself that." Gon eases out of Kurapika's hands, ignoring the look of confusion Kurapika gives him and getting up to retrieve his shirt. This isn't good, not in the slightest.
Meaning that the only friend he really has here, the only one he could actually say 'hey I trust him', is now number one guaranteed to be the first one who hates him because he's beyond repair. Kurapika can love him with all his heart and nothing good would come of this. There's no value in any relationship with them together, how could there be when Gon can hardly get his own trailer together much less a life with Kurapika in it; a guy who deserves the literal world on a platter.
"Gon, this? It was good, you know that right? I liked it, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry if I said anything-"
"Okay...okay...okay give me a second." He exhales, how to put it because the entire thing is wrong, the whole damn thing is completely wrong.
"I-I'm so, so sorry for putting you in this sort of position."
"No, no its fine, you didn't plan this - um, huh. Okay, listen I really don't have anything against you what so ever, but can I get a day? I need time to think, you know, about me and you since me and you is kind of now, us and we when it shouldn't be?"
"Yeah, no I get it. See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, okay and um-"
"Don't worry, I'll get my shoulder checked out and everything. Good night!"
"Good night." Gon closes the door behind him, flops down on the bed. When its finally all quiet and its clear Kurapika isn't coming back tonight he exhales and lets out an uneasy, quiet sob.
He's fucked everything up all over again. What was he thinking even letting Kurapika kiss him, now he has to find a way out of this without hurting anyone because letting it keep going is just going to bring them more pain. He can't deal with this, not tonight, not after everything was going so well. He shuts off the lights and pretends tonight never happened.