Chapter 8
Mary found Kenna, still lying on the ground, when she entered Bash's chamber. She immediately rushed to her.
"Kenna, what happened?" she asked anxiously.
"Where... where is Daniel?" Kenna sobbed.
"In your chamber. He's asleep. Bernadette is with him."
"I can't stay. Please, tell Bernadette that she should pack our things, and can you arrange that a carriage comes?"
"What happened?" Mary repeated.
"I... I told him, and he... ..." A sob interrupted her. „... he hates me, Mary! It was a mistake to come here. I never should have told him." She looked up to her friend. "What do you think he will do now?"
"He doesn't hate you." Mary put a hand on Kenna's." He is just upset and needs time to come to terms with it." She smiled faintly. "Usually he goes to the stables and carves."
"He carves?" Kenna echoed surprised. Her tears were subsided.
Mary nodded. "He told me once that he would find to himself that way." She sighed quietly. "He started with it after Delphine's death. Since then he often goes there to be alone."
"I ruined everything!" Kenna sighed. "And this time I wanted to make it right."
"He will get over it. Don't worry. I know Bash. He needs only time." She reached out for Kenna. "Come with me! We go to my chamber and you can refresh yourself. You'll feel better in an instant."
Kenna shook her head. "I will never feel better."
Mary helped Kenna up and put an arm around her. "Would it help you if I try to talk to him?"
Kenna looked at her stunned. "Would you do that?"
Mary nodded. "We are friends. Nothing has changed. We should stick together."
On the way to Mary's chamber Kenna stopped suddenly. "I need to tell him", she said out of the blue.
"Who do you mean?"
"Daniel. Since he was born he wanted a father. He has never talked about it, but I've seen it in his sad eyes when I sent away the men he had started to like."
Mary frowned. "Why haven't you remarried?" she asked inquisitorially.
Kenna lowered her head and bit her lips. She couldn't answer this question.
But Mary had figured it out by herself. "You still love him!" It was not a question but a simple statement.
Kenna turned her head sideways. Her cheeks were glowing. She had not wanted for Mary to know. "I don't know what to say..." she stammered.
Mary raised a hand. "Don't say anything! Your face speaks volumes. And if Bash is not entirely blind, he knows it too."
"Mary, you have to believe me, that I have no intention to steal him from you! I know that Bash belongs to you. And I will and can accept that." Kenna emphasized.
Mary shook her head slightly. "We should talk about it another time." She forced a smile. "I'm going to Bash now and talk to him. You can stay in my chamber until I come back."
Kenna nodded and followed Mary to her chamber.
On the way to the stables, Mary had the opportunity to think things through. She knew Kenna's and Bash's future would depend on her. She had originated the situation he was in now once when Francis was seriously ill and then died and she had needed someone she could lean on. And Bash had proven to be a loyal friend. She hadn't harbored any romantic feelings for him, and she knew that he had felt the same. Nevertheless, he had stayed, had given her comfort and had satisfied her sexual needs. He had never spoken about his feelings, but he had often called out „Kenna" in his dreams. And she knew that he had never gotten over the loss. In hindsight, she wondered whether he had searched for Kenna, if she wouldn't have claimed him for herself. But it was all in the past. She couldn't change that. She had to think about the future now. And though it hurt she had to set him free that he could make his own choices. But she also knew that it would not be easy to convince him to do the right thing. But it was not only Bash or Kenna she had to think about it but Daniel too. Especially Daniel, who had waited for a father for so long. Bash didn't know so far but he needed his family too, Mary decided. She sighed. She had made many decisions in her life and not all had gone well. But one thing she knew for sure. No fate was unchangeable. But sometimes you had to help make it happen.
She had reached the stables and pushed the horsebox open where she suspected Bash.
Actually, he was sitting there, a piece of wood in his hands, preoccupied in the carving. He barely looked up at her as she entered.
"I knew that you would hide here. But running away is not a solution." Sighing, she crouched down to him.
"I know you won't talk about Kenna and I won't disturb you but ...just answer one question... do you still love her?"