Chapter 4: Friends?

If Ulquiorra could use one word to describe Shiro Kurosaki it would be confusing...no, more like annoying.

"Mr. Kurosaki could you please explain to me why you're residing on my office couch while playing a stupid game on your phone when you should be working?" Ulquiorra asked, his tone as calm and flat as always, on the inside though, he had the urge to break his pen if he heard that blasted female's voice from the albino's phone again.

"I dunno. Bored. And Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is not a stupid game." Shiro defended himself with a look of pride on his face.

"If you're bored then could you please get to work. Or do you really want to lose your job?" Ulquiorra said, horrified with himself for doing something as unbecoming as teasing.

"Bite me." Shiro growled as he shut his phone and sat up the couch to glare at his superior.

"No thank you. You're not my type." Was Ulquiorra's smart reply.

"Thank Princess Bubblegum I'm not." Shiro said with a role of his eyes. He got off the couch and stretched, happily feeling his joints crack, releasing the tension he felt in his body.

Even with what he said, Ulquiorra couldn't stop himself from staring at Shiro's arms as he stretched. They looked so...toned and strong and he wondered for a brief moment how they'd feel. He suddenly felt like he needed some mind acid.

"Well I'm off to the garage!" Shiro announced as he walked towards the door.

"Why would you want to go there? You've been promoted from such meaningless tasks. Why not leave them alone and get to your work?" Ulquiorra said indifferently though he was confused.

Car mechanics are practically on zero of the food chain of this company, just slightly higher than janitors while Shiro's job is like vice-president so the fact that Shiro would prefer working there than in his own office confused the young CED.

Shiro looked back at him with a mischievous grin that actually made Ulquiorra's heart cease for a moment. It was just so vicious looking, it actually made Ulquiorra feel like an animal's prey.

"I like to get my hands dirty. I'm good with cars so why not work with them hands on. You coming or what?" Shiro asked, grin still in place.

"And why would I do such a thing when I have work of my own down here?" Ulquiorra asked, barely surprising that annoying urge to roll his eyes.

"Cause you gotta live a little now c'mon! It'll be fun!" Shiro said walking back in and easily pulling Ulquiorra off his seat then letting him go to follow him towards the elevator which he did.

Ulquiorra didn't say anything because he had this sneaky suspicion that the albino would've probably carried him away if he refused.

As they walked by the other workers in their cubicles, a few had the courage to greet Ulquiorra which he didn't even bother responding to while almost all of them would greet, shake hands with, high-five and even joke with Shiro like he was their favorite person on the planet. Ulquiorra was amazed at how quickly everyone had come to admire the man.

When Ulquiorra introduced Shiro to the employees a lot of them had a lot of negative things to say, rather discriminatory things actually. A lot of the male workers thought of him as some vampire loving freak that did plastic surgery to satisfy his sick fantasies, some female and male employees were okay with their new superior but they were a bit intimidated by his appearance. The imaginations of the employees actually impressed their boss but he wouldn't stand for such closed minded stupidity but just as he was about to put them in their place, Shiro defended himself.

Ulquiorra honestly thought he'd never be able to forget his words. It wasn't just the words but the way he said it, with so much self-confidence.

"Could you whiners shut up already! Believe it or not I naturally look like this and are you honestly gonna judge my work ethics because of my fucking skin color? Seriously? Well screw your uptight asses! I'm here to work, not even for myself but for my baby brother's future so don't you go complaining about how you don't want to work with a freak. I'm here to stay so deal with it! I personally think I'm fucking sexy! I mean c'mon look at this skin! And my eyes should make you practically beg me for sex. I take exotic to a whole new level don't you think?"

Ulquiorra even remembered him saying all that with a cheeky grin, even sent a wink towards some giggling women. He just wondered how someone who was obviously ridiculed almost everywhere he went could have such confidence?

They entered the elevator silently, no one else was there so they had it to themselves. Shiro pressed the button for the underground garage which was where all the mechanics were done, as the door closed and, oddly enough, they fell into a comfortable silence.

"You're being quiet boss. Penny for your thoughts?" Shiro asked as he leaned against the wall, hands in pockets and head resting against the wall, facing him. Ulquiorra looked straight ahead with the same blank expression though on the inside he felt like squirming under the gaze of the albino's strange but enchanting eyes.

Enchanting? Ulquiorra don't do this.

He sighed as he closed his eyes trying to will a headache away.

"Did it ever occur to you that I'm usually silent?" He asked the albino, slight annoyance leaking into his words. Shiro chuckled lightly. "You do seem like the silent type but it's gonna be a long ride down. Take a load off. Let's be buddies!" Shiro said that last sentence almost excitedly, his attitude changing from lazy to over excited man child.

Ulquiorra's eyes actually widened, seriously they did, in surprise. He turned to look at Shiro with that look but Shiro was too busy thinking of what they could do as friends.

"Wh-why would you want to be...buddies...with me? After what I said about your family's inci-"

Shiro had cut him off by covering his mouth, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"First rule about being buddies, don't bring up our tragic back stories." Shiro had this pained look on his face that actually made Ulquiorra feel a little guilt...Ulquiorra is feeling guilt...he suddenly thought maybe he got some deadly disease.

Shiro removed his hand. "I apologize for my words if they offended you."

Oh Kami now I'm apologizing! What is wrong with me today?

Shiro smiled sadly. "It's okay I guess. And I completely forgive you for the whole trying to gouge out my sanity thing by mentioning my most traumatic memory. Wow that sounded way worse when said out loud." Shiro said with a light laugh and if he could Ulquiorra would've smiled.

"Why do you honestly want to be my friend though? I mean you must've noticed by now I'm not the easiest person to get along with and I'm sure you have many volunteers for the title so why me?" Ulquiorra was absolutely and utterly confused and he hated that feeling.

"Why you ask?" Shiro scoffs with a roll of his eyes as the elevator finally stops and the doors open.

"I like ya. You're funny." Shiro told him with a grin before stepping out of the elevator into the garage that stunk like a gas station.

That was probably the first time in his life that someone was able to genuinely shock him into a frozen state, Shiro had to even pull him out before the doors closed.

Nobody's ever thought I was funny before...I don't think anyone's ever asked me to be their friend either.

"So boss? How do I look?" Shiro asked Ulquiorra as he walked back into the garage from the bathroom, changed into the working attire for car mechanics.

Ulquiorra had to force himself to remember how to breathe. "Utterly ridiculous." He replied evenly though it was a flat out lie. Shiro had changed out of his suit to a blue jumpsuit but since it was hot it was only zipped up to his waist, showing him off in a black tank top which in turn showed off his abs which could be seen through the tight tank and his extremely well toned arms. His hair still tied up in a ponytail, a very messy one at that, but now that Ulquiorra got a good look at it, it looked to be so long it was almost reaching to his hips and Kami the man just looked like something straight out of a porn magazine...not that Ulquiorra has any of those...he's just seen the ones Grimmjow leaves around.

Shiro pouted and damn was it just too cute. "You're so mean." Shiro whined.

"I think...uh you look great Kurosaki-san, sir." A shy looking woman in the same jumpsuit as Shiro's said, her cheeks turning bright red.

Shiro grinned happily at the compliment before jumping on the girl to give her a warm hug. "You're so nice! What's you're name?"

"M-Momo." She answered, looking like she'd pass out soon.

"Momo. What a pretty name for a pretty lady." Shiro said with that cheeky grin and sexy wink. Ulquiorra felt his left eyebrow twitch in irritation but it was only because he found the whole thing inappropriate.

"Now. Hey everyone you remember me yes, I am Shiro. Shiro is you. I'm gonna need you lot to tell me what we're working on today."

"Wait you're actually working with us?" A male mechanic asked confused.

"Well duh. If you guys' job paid more I'd be working here 24/7! I love cars, they're my passion but my baby bro comes first so I'm sorry you'll only be able to be graced with my presence a few times. Sad but true." Shiro joked dramatically making a couple of them laugh while others just smiled in fondness.

"What about you Mr. Ulquiorra? Would you also be joining us today?" A female worker asked shyly.

Ulquiorra just gave him a blank stare. "And why would I degrade myself by doing such a thing?"

The employee's and a bunch of other employees', faces fell. No matter what they're still the underdogs. Even their own boss doesn't want to work with them.

"Sorry guys. Ulquiorra apparently cannot stand the idea of getting stained." Shiro said, quickly saving the day because the guy apparently can't phrase his sentences right.

She blinked in surprise. Was that really the only reason? It's not because of their low scale work?

Ulquiorra sighed in annoyance. "It's not I can't stand it. I just don't like being filthy. I'm guessing that's why your occupation never appealed to me."

"You're such a neat freak." Shiro snickered. Everyone else were still so surprised at the fact he didn't want to work with them just because of cleanliness and also at the way the two acted. It was like they were best friends or something.

"Don't you have something to do? Engines to fix?" Ulquiorra said, not being able to contain his eye roll any longer, as he took a seat in front of one of the designers' desks and took out some paperwork to get done while Shiro had his fun. He felt like some babysitter.

"Ugh seriously I so need to bring you into the human world. It's a lot fun y'know. No paperwork. Beautiful women. Beautiful men. All the finer things in life." Shiro teased, actually poking Ulquiorra's head with a pencil. And Ulquiorra didn't even snap his wrist. Is Shiro some kind of deity?

"Why do you keep insisting on annoying me?"

Shiro frowned then grinned boyishly. Yeah that didn't feel like a heart attack so yes Ulquiorra's heart did skip a bit but he still thought he should see a doctor.

"It's what friends do. Annoy the crap out of each other then Netflix and chill." Shiro teased before...skipping towards a particular engine that just blew his car nerdy mind.

"Oh my fucking baby Jesus! This is the XL-450J! It's not even on the market yet! All of you are now my gods and I'm your loyal servant!" Shiro exclaimed as he actually knelt down in front of all of them making them laugh at his antics.

Ulquiorra was still on the fact that Shiro actually called him his friend. There was this odd sensation bubbling up inside him, a feeling of some sort. He remembers feeling it at some point but he can't remember what it was or when he felt it. It was...such a warm feeling. It felt nice.

...Am I...happy?

"My humps. My humps. My humps. My lovely lady lumps." Shiro sang obnoxiously as he tended to a blue sports car that looked like something that was meant to be on a race track.

What made it worse was that everyone else, save Ulquiorra, decided to join in.

"What you gon' do with all that junk?" A female worker sang, moving her hips to the imaginary beat.

"All that junk inside that trunk?" A male one that seemed to be over fifty joined in with a laugh.

"I'ma get, get get, get, you drunk," a rather enthusiastic one sang with some dance moves.

"Get you love drunk off hump. What you gon' do with all that ass?" Shiro kept on singing while moving his ass rather seductively and for some reason Ulquiorra couldn't stop staring.

"All that ass inside them jeans? I'm a make, make, make, make you scream." Another male worker that seems to have gotten closer to Shiro as they worked sang right beside him but he sang it lazily as he yawned. Laziest man on the planet.

"Make you scream, make you scream." Shiro screeched that part horribly but then sent a wink Ulquiorra's way, this pretty much confused the emotionally stunted man.

"C'mon boss join in. I know you know the words. Who doesn't?" Shiro urged, finally finished with improving the speed of the accelerator of the car. Now it'd be one of the fastest cars ever. He just hopes no poor granny with heart issues buys it.

"Not happening." Ulquiorra said simply. Then...Shiro pouted...his eyes watered...and Ulquiorra just felt like he shot puppies without mercy. Okay he would've done that without caring to be honest but he couldn't think of any other way to describe it. Shiro's puppy dog eyes were obviously some kind of weapon designed by the government.

"Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump..." Shiro started with a grin, he knew he won this battle.

Ulquiorra tensed up even more than usual making him look like some marble statue. "My hump, my hump, my hump...my lovely lady lumps. Check it out." Oh...fucking hell. That was by far the funniest thing Shiro had ever experienced.

He literally fell on the floor from laughing so hard. He couldn't stop. The image of Ulquiorra singing 'My humps', face still as blank as ever, and then saying Check it out, Kami Shiro would probably die from laughter before the image even completed in his mind. He's having so much fun at work and it's only the first day.

"Could you please calm down before you kill yourself?" Ulquiorra said in his same bland tone not really sure what was so funny.

Shiro calmed down but he was still giggling, checked his watch to see it was 21:45, fifteen minutes after his shift was supposed to have ended. "Well guys gotta go. My precious baby brother must be lonely without me! I shall see you all tomorrow with the amazing gift of baby pictures of my little brother. He's the cutest thing on planet earth I swear!"

"You talk about him like he's you're son." Momo commented with a slight giggle.

Shiro grinned at the thought. "He might as well be." His words made all the other workers laugh though they all were wondering why Shiro never mentioned his parents but didn't try prying. It's his business.

"Hey boss?" Shiro said looking at the quiet figure of his boss still at work with more files, Halibel had brought more in for him to go through.

"What is it now?" Ulquiorra asked fully expecting something stupid to come out of his mouth.

Shiro walked up to him, pulled him off his seat, wrapped a strong arm around Ulquiorra's shoulders in a friendly manner but he didn't realize he had practically made Ulquiorra's body press up against his own.

Ulquiorra tensed up as he liked up at Shiro's annoyingly handsome face. His poor heart had had such a workout today. It was beating so fast, so very fast that it would've out beat a rabbit's. His palms suddenly felt sweaty and...he just noticed they were resting on Shiro's abs and chest, his left on his chest his right on his abs.

He thought Shiro was muscular before but...he just fully realized that the man was ripped. Not in the overly muscular kind of way, that's disgusting, but in the abs and chest made of steel and belonging to some kind of underwear model kind of ripped and Ulquiorra's fingers actually twitched with anticipation to just put his hand under the tank top and actually feel them. He wanted to slap himself for such thoughts, how inappropriate.

"We should so hang out outside work. A few drinks between friends would help loosen you up." Shiro said with a charming grin, completely oblivious to Ulquiorra's turmoil.

"...friends?" Ulquiorra said the word in a deadpan like he honestly couldn't give a shit about being Shiro's friend but honestly he wasn't really sure what he wanted to be with the albino.

Shiro laughed slightly before lowering his head to Ulquiorra's level since he was actually pretty tall. Shiro found it funny that every time he called both of them friends that Ulquiorra would question him like he couldn't fathom the thought.

"Yes friends. I mean don't you have any?" Shiro teased but the other's response shocked him.

"I've never had a friend for I've never really seen the appeal." Ulquiorra answered honestly. He never liked people so why would he torture himself by hanging around them?

Shiro actually looked sad for a moment before he cheered up immediately. "Well I'm honored to be your first real friend." Shiro said squeezing Ulquiorra's shoulder gently as a form of comfort before pulling away completely. Ulquiorra Cifer would never admit that he felt cold when the albino let go. Never.

"See ya later guys! Boss don't forget we have to chill some time. You, me and Netflix!" Shiro said, waving at everyone, that wide boyish grin on his face before running for the elevator and leaving. Ulquiorra didn't even notice when he raised his hand to wave back.

Almost immediately after Shiro left, the female workers exploded...well their lips exploded...with words. So many words.

"Can't believe an Assistant CED actually got his hands dirty and worked with us! Bonuses! He's so good with mechanics AND he's sexy! Best day ever!" A woman with a smirk said.

"Did you see his smile? I just wanted to hug him so bad!"

"Oh and his love for his little brother is so cute! He even cooks for him! I love a man who can cook."

"Did you see his arms? And damn those abs! Two words. Take. Me."

"Women. They see one stud they forget there are other men in the room." A male worker commented making the other males laugh but Ulquiorra couldn't hear any of it for his mind wasn't on anything or anyone there.

I wonder where we'd be going for that drink...

If Ulquiorra could describe Shiro in one word it'd be interesting no...Overwhelming. Shiro had done something not a lot of people could, he had piqued Ulquiorra's curiosity.

Here's another update! I absolutely love how you guys love this!

So did not expect such love for this story! It honestly makes me so happy!

Please review what you think about this chapter!

Ciao from,

Grimmjowislife.