Chapter Twenty-Six

Bella

I didn't hear anything else from Renee so I had come to the conclusion that either she had given up or simply didn't care enough to try and apologise. I knew she had been in the wrong, and it made me wonder whether I was even capable of forgiving her for basically calling having me a mistake.

It made me wonder about her comment, and I couldn't help but ask myself whether if she could go back would she have terminated the pregnancy, resulting in her not having me at all.

It made my heart ache and head hurt.

I figured as soon as I hoped on a plane to come to Forks she was relieved to get rid of me, and while I might complain about the fact she hadn't been a good enough mother to her child, it still hurt that she was almost eager to see me leave her.

Shouldn't a mother be sad when their child goes away?

Then again when was Renee anything similar to acting like a normal parent? She had partied like a teenager even when she had a child at home. She slept around like a comment slut, something she had accused me of in her previous phone call.

How could I be a slut when I was still a virgin?

It didn't make any sense.

I knew she had struggled as a parent, and I didn't blame her for some of the resentment she must hold towards me, but did she have to admit it? I had been fine simply wondering if she thought of me as a mistake or not, but now she had come out and told me that she did think I was, well…it sucked.

I wish she had simply kept her mouth shut, leaving her comments to herself.

There was nothing wrong with wanting to be naïve to it all, right?

I shook my head, trying to clear those types of thoughts from my head. It hadn't been long after Charlie had left for work that afternoon that Edward was already parked in front of my mouth, his door open as he flashed over to my side after making sure there were no human about.

I had instantly curled into his hard from, enjoying and savouring the comfort it brought me to have him so close. I smiled, knowing that he always seemed to make everything better.

After we had simply enjoyed each other's company he offered to take me to school, something I had eagerly taken him up on. I wasn't about to deny being in his company that was for sure.

The rest of the day passed like a blur and I barely left Edward's side, something I knew he was internally gloating about. It hadn't been until I had caught the extra sparkle in his eyes and the pleasure of me not leaving his sight that I realised just how much stronger he must feel the mating bond.

But then again, he was a vampire so it was hardly a surprise.

Returning back to his place I said my hello's to Esme who greeted me with a hug, an affectionate gesture that I couldn't help but hold onto a little bit longer than necessary. If Esme was surprised or disgruntled she didn't say anything, and as my arms tightened around her she simply returned the gesture with a soft smile.

It made me wonder why Esme couldn't have been my mother. I wasn't completely caught up with her story, but I knew from Edward that she had lost a child in her human past.

It was hard breaking.

What made it worse was the fact I knew she would have been an excellent mother. She would have doted and adored her child as a mother should, instead of neglecting and forcing it to grow up well before her age.

Fate was a cruel world.

For the fates to allow Renee a child and yet take Esmes away so quickly…

It made me relieved that she had found another family that adored her so. I knew that even the ice-queen that was Rosaline loved Esme like a mother figure, much like the rest of the coven, and I couldn't help but hope Esme would welcome me in with open arms when Edward finally changed me.

Because he would.

I was not prepared to spend the rest of my life without him. It was not acceptable. I knew his main issue was not with having me forever, but with damning my soul, but would it not be damned if I had to spend the rest of my short human life without him? Could he not see that?

Thankfully I knew it would not be long before he caved, not now the plans had been set in motion. He had proposed, we were getting married where he would make love to me and start out new complete lives together.

I couldn't wait.

"Are you alright dear?" Esme broke the silence.

I shrugged, allowing Edward to answer for me.

"She had a fight with her mother. Her mother was the one at fault of course," he told her honestly.

I smiled against the softness of Esmes light pink sweater, again asking myself why I couldn't have such a lovely woman as my mother.

"Oh dear," I felt her cool hand gently press against my back. It was soothing. "Whatever did she say?"

Clearly I must have looked more saddened then I had first thought.

"She accused her of being a slut because she accepted my hand in marriage," Edward admitted through gritted teeth. "I don't wish to insult the woman who birthed you, Bella, but she is not fit enough to be considered a parent."

I didn't blame him. In fact, I very much agreed.

"Outrageous!" Esme agreed. "I hope you do not believe her disgraceful words, Bella."

I shook my head. I didn't. I may have craved for my mother's approval, but in comparison to Edward and his love for me she meant nothing. There was nothing she could do to make me say no to his proposal, to leave him.

What did she want from me? I get accused of being a slut for saving myself for the man I wished to spend the rest of my life with, and yet she desired me to let loose and spread my legs for anyone as to gain experience.

I couldn't win.

"I don't. I didn't exactly expect much else from her."

I could practically feel just how much Esme didn't seem to like my answer, muttering something along the lines of children being born into homes that were far from being good enough.

I could see where she was coming from easily. She had been denied her child and yet as a vampire it was clear she had seen or heard of her fair amount of child abuse. It was sickening, and I could only imagine how horrific it must have felt for her.

"Why don't you take her upstairs, Edward. I will make you something to eat, sweetheart."

Smiling gently, I felt Edward wrap his arms around me before pressing a kiss against my temper. It wasn't a secret within the family that Esme loved the excuse of cooking for me, and I hoped it wouldn't upset her too much when I no longer required such food.

I spend the night. Edward laid with me as I slept and as the next few days passed I knew it wasn't long until I had graduation. The prom was in a few days but I told Edward and Charlie that under no circumstances did I plan on going.

Charlie disagreed, saying I would end up regretting this milestone. I was adamant, however, that I would not be regretting it any time soon. And even so, if I did end up doing it I could simply retake school like Edward and go then.

Simple.

So that was how I found myself curled up around my mate while Jasper, Emmett and their mates went to the school prom. According to Edward Rosaline was never one to miss out on the extra attention, and I had to admit she did look incredible in her bright red dress. Alice also looked adorable, the fact she had made sure Jasper matched making them seem like an even more appealing couple.

And yet, I didn't wish to be in either of their shoes.

Prom was not for me.

"Are you sure you do not wish to go, Love?" Edward asked for the third time in the space of an hour. The others had left a mere ten minutes ago, wishing to be fashionably late according to Alice.

Giggling, I shook my head before boldly straddling his thighs. I made sure not to press myself against his groin, not wishing for him to tense and gently pull me off him.

I could wait until our wedding night.

"I have no regrets, Edward" I pressed my lips against his three times quickly. "I would much rather have you all to myself then share you with the rest of them."

"But it's your milestone-"

I cut him off. "My graduation is a milestone. Prom…prom is just some high school dance that I have no interest in. You know me, Edward, so do you really think that's my scene?" I quirked a brow.

As expected he sighed, knowing me well enough to know that it indeed wasn't my type of scene.

"At least let me make this night special for you."

I grinned at his charming attitude. I loved it. "What did you have in mind?"

He shrugged before leaning back against the couch and lightly resting his cool hands on my thighs. I shivered slightly at the touch, rolling my eyes when I saw the corner of his lips quirk into a smirk. I just knew that as soon as he de-virginised me he was going to be a cocky little shit about it.

I couldn't wait.

"We could go out?"

I made a sigh of protest, not in the mood to go out anywhere.

"Alright…we could watch a film?"

I once again shrugged, I could take it and be happy of course. I didn't mind.

"Come now, Love" he ever so lightly pinched my side causing me to squeal. I returned his bright smile and sparkling eyes. "What did you have in mind?"

I licked my dry lips at that. There had been something that had been on my mind ever since the bathroom incident where I had been bold enough to let him see me naked. It had been on my mind ever since, and the fact I hadn't seen him in all of his glory as well was not a happy thought.

I wanted me some naked Edward!

But I also wanted to milk it for all it was worth. The wedding was mere weeks away but I didn't want to wait that long to see him in all of his glory. Sex could wait, I wanted us both to be comfortable after all and I knew it would make it even more special if we held out until we had completed our vows, but that didn't mean we couldn't play about before, right?

It wasn't as if I expected a lot. I wasn't completely confident in my body, but the fact I knew Edward thought I was truly beautiful was enough for me to feel somewhat happy in my own skin when I was around him.

I wanted him to know the same

I wanted to know everything little thing about him, and I wanted him to know that I loved every little bit of him.

And the bits that weren't so little, I thought with a flush.

"Bella, Love?"

Looking up I realised I must have been lost in my own thoughts for a while if his concerned yet intrigued expression was anything to go by.

"I thought of something we could do to kill some time," I looked up at him through my long lashes as I played with the edge of his shirt. "Something I've been wanting to do for a while, but I haven't gotten the courage to ask."

At that he definitely looked intrigued. "Really? What did you have in mind, Love?"

Biting my lips I mentally cursed the fact I could already feel the heat rising to my cheeks. I was trying to be bold and sexy, but a hell of a lot of good that was doing.

I shivered when I felt cool fingers brushing against my cheek. "I love it when you blush."

I couldn't help myself, I grinned widely as I leaned forward to lightly peak him on the lips.

"So, Love" he started. "Are you going to tell me what is racing through that mind of yours or am I going to have to guess?"

My lips quirked. "I doubt you'd be able to guess, Edward."

He seemed to take that as a personal challenge. Pursing his lips he eyed me critically. I flushed and his lips quirked. "Now that look I know," his fingers traced my bottom lip. "It's something dirty isn't it? Or at least a little sexual."

As if on command my flush deepened in its red.

He chuckled darkly. "Now I know it's something dirty you little minx."

I shuddered at his words. It had to be the first time he had used such an endearment with me.

I found I liked it. More than I probably should have.

He carried on talking as if I wasn't squirming on top of him in both arousal and embarrassment. I didn't want to think about what I must smell like to him. I didn't want to know.

After he had guessed wrong for the next five minutes he huffed out a frustrated breath. "Oh how there are times I wish you weren't such a blank void to me, Love" he sighed.

I grinned. "But then you wouldn't find me half as interesting," I spoke cheekily. "You never know, when you change me you might be welcome into my thoughts."

While I hoped that it wasn't, not wanting to have to be cautious of my every thought around him if I did end up being easy to read after becoming one of them, what I really wanted was to test his views on the whole changing me aspect.

I hated to admit I was testing him, but…

"It is doubtful, Love" Edward smiled slightly. "Carlisle seems to believe it is a gift which will carry over when you are turned. It seems I am destined to never be able to see inside that pretty head of yours."

My smile was beaming. There had been no hesitation when he spoke of my changing, and I fought back the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl at the excitement which ran thought me.

He had finally accepted it, it seemed.

I was relieved.

"Now tell me what you were thinking of!" he demanded playfully.

I bit my lip. It was now or never it seemed.