Chapter 8: What are you doing to me?

Shiro had not said a word to Ulquiorra for the rest of the day.

Shiro would only speak to him when it was about work, unlike before when Ulquiorra was his favorite person in the whole building. Shiro was avoiding Ulquiorra but that wasn't what was aggravating the raven head. It was the fact that Shiro would still smile at him every time they came across each other. It was the same smile he always showed when he was happy to see Ulquiorra but without the usual bear hug and yell of his name.

It made him feel like...like an asshole.

And another thing that was annoying the usually calm and collected man was the way the albino would still act the same around everyone else yet he'd treat him like he was nothing but his boss AND a plague.

Had my words really hurt him?

"So we have the issue of our test driver having to go take care of his pregnant wife, so we would need to contact another but it seems our best can't make it." Ulquiorra told his top managers in the conference room.

"Really? None?" The Manager of the Sales sector of the company, Mr. Watanabi, asked, his toupee moving as he did and Ulquiorra noticed how it took all of Shiro's undivided attention. He's such a child.

"That is what I just said, is it not?" Ulquiorra said back, his tone as bored as always making the pudgy man slump in his seat in both shame and embarrassment.

"So will you be test driving the new product Mr. Cifer?" The Manager of the Finance sector asked, Mrs. Hidaka, her posture stiffening once her young superior's empty but wide gaze fell on her.

"Sadly, I cannot for I have to attend to the investors as well as my uncle..." Ulquiorra trailed off when he saw Shiro stretch his hand as if to grab the moving toupee...

"Mr. Kurosaki." Ulquiorra called out making Shiro sit upright trying to not look suspicious.

"Uh yeah?" Was he oh so eloquent response.

"Could you please leave Mr. Kobayashi's hair alone. Please refrain from acting like a child." Ulquiorra was actually going for a teasing tone, weird, but it came out harsher than intended and he had the urge to slap his face when Shiro flinched at his words and had a hurt expression on his face before it was replaced with a sheepish smile.

The other people in the room looked at the young albino in the room with scorn in their eyes. They could understand Ulquiorra being above them in terms of work placement because of his outstanding intellect and his guardian but they were absolutely pissed that this...street trash was able to climb through the ranks and surpass them. The man didn't even go to college and he's barely worked in the company as long as they have. The sight of him absolutely disgusted them.

"Uh my bad." He said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head like a guilty teenager.

Ulquiorra sighed. "So what do you suggest Mr. Kurosaki?"

..."Uh on what?"

Ulquiorra's left eyebrow actually twitched at that and Halibel was trying so hard not to at least snicker. Shiro wasn't even paying attention.

"Could you please take these things seriously?!" The Manager of the Law sector, Mr. Suzuki, finally snapped as he got off his seat and glared at Shiro.

Shiro shrugged indifferently which rose the anger of the old business men and women in the room.

"Please take your seat Mr. Suzuki." Ulquiorra ordered tensely. He was so close to actually decking someone if he didn't get this meeting over and done with soon.

"Shiro could you please test drive the new vehicle considering you yourself aided in it's construction? From what I read on your file, you used to test them out yourself at the main company...my uncle's words being 'He's almost like an actual race-car driver.' " Ulquiorra asked hoping he'd get an affirmative so that he can leave this annoying task, go home and enjoy working in the solitude of his own office, though Grimmjow would probably be there to pester him.

The Managers were slightly surprised that the CEO actually had contact with the riffraff.

Shiro smiled, it looked almost shy, "Sure. I mean uh yes sir."

Ulquiorra wanted to bash his head in. Does he really have to act like that?

I'm sorry okay?!

Ulquiorra wanted to scream this to the high heavens but he refrained from such unbecoming behavior because it's just not like him to even feel frustration. Let alone frustration for being treated like nothing special, like he was just another superior to Shiro. He was also confused for he had no idea why Shiro made him feel this way.

"Uh sir? Are you okay?" The sound of the aforementioned albino snapped Ulquiorra out of his mind and he nearly jumped out of his skin with how close Shiro had gotten.

It was like he was a natural invader of personal space.

"Yes I am Mr. Kurosaki. Why do you ask?" Ulquiorra said, keeping his cool as best as he could but even he could hear the loud beating of the organ in his chest...he wondered if Shiro could as well.

As if just realizing how close he was to his superior, his nose was practically on Ulquiorra's forehead, he took a sheepish step back and that seemed to be a constant look on him now every time his boss was around.

"You just spaced out for a bit. I was asking when the test drive is and if there's supposed to be a crew there?" Shiro asked, his expression turning serious almost as soon as he started speaking.

"Hmm. It's next week, Tuesday I believe. Yes there should be a crew in case anything happens." Ulquiorra answered looking down at his notes but then this made him accidentally check out Shiro in all his blue jumpsuit glory.

He's really a beautiful man.

Wait what?!

As he was trying to scold himself from having such thoughts, the sounds of a piano and saxophone making beautiful music together took over the room.

Ulquiorra found it to be an odd type of music but nevertheless appreciated the lovely music that sounded it was being played by professionals. He especially loved the piano.

"Sorry I gotta take this." Shiro said as he pulled out his phone and ending the music that actually made everyone stop to listen, only to realise it was Shiro's ringtone.

So he likes that kind of music. Interesting. Something that wasn't mentioned in his file at all.

When the two men were talking, Halibel had watched them closely as she wrote down the minutes of the meeting. She especially watched Ulquiorra. He was always a hard man to read but she prided herself in making sure she understood some of the emotions he tried hiding, especially the more intense ones and from observing the duo for three weeks straight, she had come to a conclusion. Ulquiorra was attracted to Shiro. And it's not the usual, have-sex-so-I-can-focus-better-at-work kind of attraction, he actually enjoys Shiro's company and it's messing with his head.

They'd make a very attractive couple at least.

"ICHI! My little baby! Oh it's you Grimmjow! Where's my baby br-... you didn't. YOU FUCKING DIDN'T! I told you that he was terrified of them! Okay yeah I didn't tell you that they gave him panic attacks. My bad. But how the fuck did you come up with the idea that teaching him how to use it would help him get out of his fear?!...I AM GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND HANG YOU WITH THEM THEN I'LL CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND STUFF IT UP YOUR ASS!" Shiro screamed before harshly cutting off the call with his thumb...cracking the screen.

The managing staff looked at Shiro like he was a wild animal and they would be his next meal. Halibel and Ulquiorra both, almost simultaneously, rose unimpressed eyebrows at his gory threat.

"Ulquiorra." Shiro's tone...he sounded like he was going to cry as he turned to face his superior.

"Yes...Mr. Kurosaki?" Ulquiorra answered unsurely. The albino was showing...a lot of emotion. The young CED was completely out of his depth here.

"Ich-My brother. He had a panic attack while he was...hanging out with Grimmjow. C-could you please...please give me a ride there?" Shiro looked at Ulquiorra, straight into his eyes and what Ulquiorra saw in those strange eyes made that blasted organ in his chest to twist in pain.

Shiro was scared. Truly terrified, as if the very concept of his brother in any form of discomfort was breaking him from the inside out.

"You honestly cannot expect a man of his standing to just...give you a ride. Have some respe-" Mr. Suzuki yelled before Ulquiorra cut him off.

"...Alright then. Mrs. Starrk please finish up the meeting for me and if anyone needs me tell them I will be back later on in the evening. Please do aid Mr. Kurosaki in taking care of his pets. I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind the work considering he missed today's meeting to sleep in his precious garage." Ulquiorra ordered as Shiro stared at him with a wide eyed surprised expression. He honestly expected Ulquiorra to call his matter, unnecessary trash and let him deal with it on his own, as did everyone else in the room.

"Mr. Kurosaki we must be leaving. I have heard that people could do horrible things to themselves during panic attacks and I don't believe that Grimmjow is the best person for him to be around at the moment." Ulquiorra explained to him calmly as he grabbed the jacket to his suit and left the conference room, Shiro walking right behind him. Well more like walking briskly then running down the stairs because the elevator was taking too long.

Ulquiorra calmly followed him down the stairs, his passing thoughts troubling him.

I wonder...would anyone be this worried about me if something bad happened to me...

No...probably not.

I wonder...if I was in a similar state...would Shiro...

No of course not. This is his brother. His brother that's above anyone else in his eyes. Besides, you were so cruel to him.

He shook himself off those thoughts once he got to the lobby, and seeing Shiro talking to someone on the phone.

"Shinji seriously not a goodtime. No he's having an attack and I'm not with him right now. WHERE DO YOU THINK I AM?! I'M AT WORK YOU SHIT! OF COURSE I'M HEADING OVER TO HIM RIGHT NOW!" Shiro yelled into the phone as Ulquiorra caught up to him, they both left the building and entered Ulquiorra's car.

Shiro sighed loudly as he rubbed his face in both exasperation and stress as Ulquiorra started the car.

Ulquiorra as wondering who the person on the other side of the call was and how he/she was close to Shiro.

"Yes, he saw a gun and I'm sure the flashbacks hit him hard, worse thing is I wasn't there to...Shinji it is my fault. If I just...Yeah I got him out of there alive but...Shinji shut up. Are you seri-yes my abs are still as rock hard as ever you flaming dildo lover...And you just made me say that aloud around my boss super...W-wha- I dunno...he's okay looking?...I'M NOT BLUSHING! (He totally was) kay bye...yes I'll give Ichigo a kiss for you. Hey, thanks for cheering me up." With that Shiro cut the line, a now calm smile on his face. The thought of him smiling for whoever it was on the phone made his hands clench harshly on the staring wheel.

Just who is this Shinji to you Kurosaki?

Then there was silence for most of the ride, Shiro's calmness from before evaporated and his leg kept bouncing with impatience as he inwardly cursed the distance between the office and Ulquiorra's home. His mind kept playing different scenarios that were sure to give him nightmares for weeks. His greatest fear was consuming him. The fear of not being there to save his brother from everything and anything that might hurt him.

Ulquiorra kept sneaking glances towards Shiro as he drove as fast as he could, breaking speeding laws but generally not giving a shit. He, for some reason, wanted to see him smile again

"I...need to apologize."

Shiro looked at him with a skeptical look wondering what the other man was talking about.

"The way I spoke to you earlier in your office and in the conference room. I...apologize." Saying the word again did not make it easier to say again.

Shiro's gaze softened and he gave Ulquiorra a tiny smile. "It's okay. It was only the truth. I'll try to act more professional around you. I understand you don't necessarily like my company, not a lot of people do."

"I must stop you right there Mr. Kurosaki. As hard as it may be for you to believe, a lot of the staff members enjoy your company. The ones that don't may just either be jealous or don't know you. I also insist that you act yourself. Be it around me or anyone else for that matter. I was just...slightly irritable at the time and..." Ulquiorra trailed off feeling just a tad bit...embarrassed.

"Annnnd...?" Shiro couldn't help but ask to quench his curiosity over what Ulquiorra was trying to tell him.

"And...I would not mind if we could be...acquaintances." Ulquiorra said as he looked outside the window because he felt this odd heat creep up to his face and he didn't want Shiro to notice in case it was visible.

Shiro blinked then he smiled at Ulquiorra.

"I'd like that...L-quiorra." Shiro teased though with less enthusiasm than usual, Ulquiorra was just a little relieved things had gone back to normal.

Note to self, check out who this 'L' is and find out why Shiro thinks we are so similar.

"Where is he?" Shiro asked, his happier expression from the car ride gone as he looked at Grimmjow with a dangerously calm expression. No emotion whatsoever could be seen on his face or his posture, just nothing.

It made Grimmjow shiver visibly because the man could actually kick his ass easily, that much he could tell.

"He's in my room. He just...passed out. Fucking terrified me. I stayed with him just in case and the...he just woke up and started screaming for you. I held him down so he wouldn't hurt himself until he slept off again." Grimmjow explained. He looked haggard himself.

"I want to fucking kill you. I want to make you feel a worse kind of pain than hell but I won't because you're Ichi's friend and he'd kill me if I got arrested. Now, where's your fucking room?" Shiro asked, his expression had slowly changed from deathly calm to consuming rage and panic slowly as Grimmjow told him what had happened. He called out for me and I wasn't there...Why...Ichi!

"I'll show you. Grimmjow maybe you should just stay here." Ulquiorra piped up. He didn't want to have a homicide in the building he lived in and he had noticed the slight fear in his eyes. Years of living with the younger man has let Ulquiorra know that Grimmjow doesn't necessarily feel fear. Well he never shows it so openly as he was doing then, and what made it more astonishing was that it didn't seem like fear for himself. He was sitting on the couch in the massive living room. Hands clenched together as he stared at the fireplace, there was also the signs of guilt, the way his lips were curled let Ulquiorra know that his cousin was feeling a massive amount of guilt.

Grimmjow what did you do?

"No I'll come. It's my fault anyways. I wanna make sure he's gonna be okay." Grimmjow said getting off his seat and following them.

Shiro was very impatient and he was hating rich people's need to purchase such massive houses. It's just three people living there. What was the point of purchasing a castle?

When they finally got to Grimmjow's room, Shiro practically ripped the door out of his hinges when he opened it with a massive amount of force.

The albino stopped in his tracks and nearly whimpered out a cry when he noticed the state Ichigo was in.

His little brother was asleep but he was also crying and calling out to him.

"S-Shiro-nii-san. D-don't." Ichigo whimpered in his sleep as he grasped the silk like sheets with his left hand while his right hand was stretched out in front of him as if to stop someone.

Shiro was at his side in an instant.

"I'll stop. I'll stop. Just calm down okay Ichi?" Shiro whispered lovingly as he stroked Ichigo's hair from his eyes.

Ulquiorra and Grimmjow stood at the door, both feeling like they were intruding so they left the brothers by closing the door and standing outside in the hallway though it was their house anyways.

"You're going to tell me what exactly happened, am I clear?" Ulquiorra demanded from his usually vicious and ill-mannered cousin.

Grimmjow just clicked his tongue, bought out a cigarette from his pocket, placed it in his mouth and left the house altogether. He needed to get away from all that...and the way the guilt and sadness consumed him every time he saw the image of Ichigo's crying face in his mind.

I need a drink. A very strong one.

As he thought this and lit his cigarette, the image of Ichigo crumbling before his eyes passed through his mind and this made his hands start shaking.

"What the hell happened to you Berry and why does it hurt you so much?"

"S-nii-san?" Ichigo asked in his sleep. His tears stopping bit by bit.

Shiro gave a watery smile. He's gonna be so pissed at himself for crying.

"Yes Ichi. Big brother's here." He whispered as he placed his forehead against Ichigo's, trying to comfort himself more than anything.

"N-no guns. Don't...no more g-guns." Ichigo stuttered, his eyes opened slightly but they looked dazed, like he wasn't really there.

Shiro started humming a song for his little brother. He always sang it to him when he had a nightmare about the incident. These Little Wonders.

Ichigo calmed down and looked at Shiro as his brother rocked him back and forth and he sang him the song he always sang too him when he had nightmares after the incident. His glassy eyes changed back to normal as his entire focus was on the music coming out of his brother's mouth. Then tears were at the ends of his eyes, though they didn't fall, and he hugged his brother tightly, holding him close and Shiro did the same thing.

"Nii-san..." Ichigo whimpered into his brother's chest as he fisted the sides of the jumpsuit. He knew he wasn't back there, he knew the man was dead, he knew the rest of his family have been dead for years, he knew he shoud be strong for his big brother, he knew all this but he couldn't stop shaking in pain and fear for all he could see and hear was the gun as it killed his mother.

"It wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could do." Shiro said, his tone as loving and calm as a mother's.

"B-But y-you h-had t-to do that...c-cause I wa-s s-so weak." Ichigo said, his voice sounding small and it reminded Shiro of how he sounded like when he was a child.

Shiro pressed his lips to the top of Ichigo's head, giving him several small kisses, the way a mother would to her scared child. Shiro was so many things for Ichigo. He was his brother as well as his father and mother. Ichigo was his reason for living so he became everything Ichigo needed to grow up.

"You aren't weak. Not then and not now, I did that because I wanted to protect you. I needed you to stay alive. Ichigo you have saved me so many times. If it wasn't for you, if you had left me as well..." Shiro couldn't even finish the thought let alone the statement.

Ichigo nodded then rested his head against his brothers chest. "M' tired." He mumbled and it was oddly adorable.

"Sleep Ichi-Berry. I'll be here when you wake up." Shiro told him softly with a warm smile.

"Pwomise?" Ichigo asked as he yawned. With everything that had happened that day he was extremely tired but...he felt like he was forgetting something...or someone.

"I swear on my life. Oh and a kiss from Shinji. For good luck." Shiro mumbled as he placed a soft kiss on Ichigo's head that made his little brother smile slightly at the mention of the blonde haired man that always made both brothers smile in their darkest moments. "Now one from me." Shiro whispered as he placed another kiss on Ichigo's forehead.

"Love you." Ichigo muttered before finally snoring away, his mind filled with something...blue instead of the nightmares he had gotten used to for over a decade.

Shiro gave a watery smile as he looked down at his brother, sleeping peacefully on his chest. "I love you too Ichi. S-so much." His voice started cracking as his body shook with silent sobs.

Why? Why can't I fucking keep you safe? No matter how hard I try to make your future happy, that part of our past always comes back to hurt you. It's not fair. All I want, all I fucking want, is for my baby brother, my little Ichi-Berry, to be happy again. Is that too much to ask for? If there is a God out there please make it happen. I don't care what happens to me j-just, Just give him the happiness and peace he deserves. I'll work harder. I'll sacrifice more. Please. Shiro thought to himself as he silently cried over his bother. His tears fell on Ichigo's face and he gently wiped them away so as not to disturb him. Even in pain, all he cares about is Ichigo's comfort.

"I...I'm so sorry Ichi. I'm so...fucking sorry." He mumbled against his brother's hair.

Ulquiorra heard all this through the thin walls as he leaned against the wall and let out an uncharacteristically sad sigh.

His chest hurt every time he caught a rather loud sob that was obviously from Shiro. After seeing the way Shiro acted around in distress when his most loved person got hurt, he got an idea on why he felt so many things around Shiro Kurosaki.

"Shiro Kurosaki...what are you doing to me?" Ulquiorra whispered to himself as he looked up at the high ceiling.

He needed a cigarette.

Update! Update! UPDATE!

I was feeling depressed over the ending of Code Geass so I wrote this. Feel the angst. Oh you can all blame Naeme for giving me an idea for this chapter (Insert evil grin here).

I feel like I'm freaking horrible for making Shiro cry.

Please review what you think about this chapter. Before you lot bash my ego, it gets worse before it gets to the oh so heart stopping fluff that'd blow your yaoi loving minds!

Again, review. They make my day. Do you want me to be sad and make something...bad happen to...Momo? Yeah Momo cause I honestly feel a piece of my heart break every time I heart my main babies!

Just review Kay?

Ciao from,

Grimmjowislife.

P.s: Has anyone told you that you are beautiful today? Well you are. ;)