notes: someone write me an infamous second son au with natsu as delsin pronto pretty please. but like, with a happier, slightly altered storyline. i'd love you forever and ever. also, do not be shy about pm-ing me or anything, i like talking to you guys.
dedication: to the raven cycle; noah czerny and ronan lynch in particular.
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(a zombie memoir, or how Jellal Fernandez learned that Erza Scarlet is the Baddest Bitch
on the block, and subsequently fell in love with a possible Yankee.)
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act iii
let's start a riot, or wish i may, wish i might, slay some zombies and start a fight
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{i'm sure that they figured it out early on, that i would never run}
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Gray has been in a lot of stressful situations in his lifetime. Some prime examples are school shopping with Ur, being best friends with Natsu, Ultear's gym meets, freshman year, living with Lyon in general, and Loke's mental breakdown regarding Lucy's refusal to go out with him, period—just to name a few.
Hanging onto the handle above the door for dear while whilst Gajeel performs standard evasive movements with his Jeep through a zombie-infested town is not one of them. At least, it hadn't been until now.
The monstrosity of a Jeep—lovingly nicknamed 'Pantherlily', but also known as The Beast, the Widowmaker, and "that damn nuisance" by friends and lastly fellow neighborhood dwellers—swerves to the right, and Gray watches the world swim before his eyes. It may be a shitty world they're living in, and maybe even worse now, what with the reanimated dead roaming the streets searching for human flesh, he still wants to remain among the non-zombified. Or at least not among the percentage killed in a freak car accident, which seems to be the most likely case right now.
He's fairly certain of several things at this point, and they are a) that what they're doing basically qualifies as reanimated corpse bowling, which has b) got to be bad for the vehicle they're doing it in, and c) may cost him his breakfast at least, and his life at most. He hasn't felt this queasy since that one time when Natsu dared him to eat five funnel cakes and then ride all the spinning rides at the county fair.
Everything passes in a trippy, warped blur outside, and he has to close his eyes for a few moments as Gajeel mows—mows—down two more of the walking dead. Their guts and mushy parts splatter all over the windshield and the sides of Pantherlily, and Gray feels like throwing up for the seventeenth time today. Agitated beyond all human measure, Gajeel flips on the windshield wipers for the fifth time and lets his hand hover over the lever before deciding just to leave them on.
The reason that they are driving like mad men through hordes of zombies is a complicated matter that's actually two reasons, who both have startlingly blue hair and an overwhelming sense of naivety towards life, and are probably currently out there—with horror movie creatures thirsting for their brains and chasing them down.
Gajeel plows through another horde and Gray watches in morbid fascination as they explode, limbs flying in all directions. "Maybe," he muses out loud, "we should just attach a snow plow. It'd save us a helluva lotta trouble."
His carmate grumbles and swears under his breath. Gray catches choice phrases like "that damn Shrimp" and "fucking zombie apocalypse on the worst damn day" but also "need to make sure", and he pieces the rest together. Gajeel has been nursing a crush on Levy for a while, but hadn't said anything about it ever, and now he has to live with the fact that she could be dead, or dying, or one of them. That had to hurt like a bitch, and probably explained why he was currently breaking every speed law known to mankind and driving like a maniac.
And then there was Juvia.
She'd been Gajeel's friend before anyone else, and they'd known each other forever. She was too pretty for her own good, too quiet and timid to even have a normal conversation with him most of the time, and also in the middle of this mess. Gray clenches his fist that he is not using to keep himself upright and grinds his teeth. He isn't going to think about it. Not about her running for her life, not about her being caught with decaying hands and dragged back by her ankles. Not about her crying, reaching out and calling his name before they—
His teeth clamp together so hard his jaw aches.
Gajeel makes a completely last-minute turn and everything turns with him. Gray flails and momentarily wonders what good his seat belt is even doing him, and why state regulations required them if he was sliding all over the place even when he was wearing one, before he notices that they're near the Transportation Department storage grounds.
Also, another thing. Gajeel definitely needed to invest in one of those things that held the seatbelt back and kept it from decapitating you aka slitting your throat because Gray feels like he's being attacked every time Gajeel slams on the brakes. Granted, it's not happening very often, but enough that he's sure there's a pretty and pretty good sized red stripe running along his neck. The skin there feels like it's been rubbed raw.
"Dude, what are you doing."
The mechanic of their friend group looks at him with his admittedly intimidating red eyes. They're practically glowing with a plan, and Gray is eager to know what it is.
Gajeel points to one of the looming storage buildings, and smirks. "I heard somethin' 'bout making 'Lily into a snowplow, and I thought, 'why the hell not? Y'never know when the weather'll get shitty.'"
Gray likes the plan.
So in an amazing record of time, they hook up a decent-sized metal scraper to Patherlily, which only serves to make it look more like an equally metal deathtrap. Gray supposes that they could just abscond with one of the actual roadtrucks already equipped with a plow, but Gajeel would never agree to it. Lily was his pride and joy—weird scrape that resembled more of a scar than anything on the left side and all—so there was no way in hell that he would ditch it for a bigger rig. Oh well, those things sucked up gasoline like an alcoholic drained bottles.
All that's left is to continue scouring Magnolia for Levy and Juvia, but they also need a battle plan.
Now where was Natsu when you actually fucking needed him?
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(x)
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On some side street across town, Natsu carefully makes his way towards Fairy Tail, Igneel Dragneel's rifle slung over his shoulder. He's prepared for an attack on all fronts, though it would be Very Bad if he happens upon a horde, or vice versa. He's been fortunate enough to not come across one or two already, and it's starting to make him suspicious. But then, it's also not his fault that he lives the farthest from Fairy Tail than the rest of his friends.
So, left to his own devices and an estimated hour or so of walking time, his mind starts to wander. Not too far, of course, because Rule Number Three is definitely to Stay Focused or Else. 'Or Else' entailing a brutal death by being torn apart and made into an appetizer. This could also be applied to traveling in the Amazon.
But, even though he'd been preparing for this event for years, he wonders why it came about all of a sudden. The actual likelihood of zombies taking over the world and eating everyone still alive was pretty slim, even he knew that, and yet. Is it the result of a deadly bioweapon turned virus? Or did some poor soul just randomly burst out of their grave and bite an even more unfortunate person and thus the vicious cycle was born?
By all accounts, it makes zero sense. And thinking about it too much makes his head hurt.
Anyway, unleashing the end of the world was such a dick move, especially an end by zombies. Lucy's probably pissed, wherever she is. Sting also owed him fifty bucks from that time where they bet on exactly how the world would end. Takeover by robots his ass, he's living the apocalypse, and there are no mind-controlling machines in sight. Just bodies that are falling apart and devouring other bodies.
Which? Nas-tay.
A flash of blue in his peripheral catches his attention, and for a second he thinks it might be Juvia or Levy or maybe even Wendy, but he also grabs the rifle and flips the safety off. Cautiously but in his still reckless way, he steps over to the truck pulled off to the side of the pavement. Its windows are smashed, though not completely, and it's dented in weird spots. Natsu peers into the backseat window on the left side and is surprised at what he finds.
Wide brown eyes blink up at him, and small hands cling to the straps of a green backpack.
It's a kid. There is a kid in the middle of an abandoned street, all by himself, hiding in a broken-down pickup.
The older brother in Natsu instantly rears its head, and he lowers the rifle and clicks the safety back on. "Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself?"
He has blue hair just like the girls, he thinks to himself, weird. I've never seen him before.
Tiny John Doe is also wearing jean overalls and a striped orange shirt, which is somewhat of a culture shock to Natsu, and he glances at the license plate. It's out of state, and covered in mud. The kid in the truck is still peering up at him in what looks like awe, but doesn't say a word.
He wishes Lucy were here; she'd know what to ask, and what to say.
"Uh," he begins tentatively, "are you…you're not from around here are you?"
Small nameless child shakes his head. Okay, so that's a no—they're making progress. He scratches his head and makes a quick survey of the surrounding area, which is still hollowly empty. Natsu turns back to the kid who looks to be around seven and makes a noise in the back of his throat. "Okay so…I know it must be comfortable in there and all, but uh, you look kinda hungry and I have snacks?"
Oh, way to go, Natsu. Approach a little kid and offer him food? That's like the first creeper move known to humanity. Kidnapper 101: Lure the Subject Away with Free Food and a Nice Smile and then Snatch Them! He's probably gonna kick you, or run off screaming and bring all the undead to you. Great plan. If Gray and Gajeel were here, they'd laugh at you while Lucy screams about STRANGER DANGER, MORON and THAT'S NO WAY TO TALK TO A CHILD YOU NETHANDREAL.
Natsu suffers in misery and almost doesn't notice the door opening and the boy hopping out. He grabs onto Natsu's jacket and looks up at him with his still-wide eyes. Okay, so they were obviously going to have a lengthy chat about the threat of Stranger Danger later, that much is clear. He sighs and mentally congratulates himself for making it this far without any tears or screeching, and pulls a package of cheese and crackers from his backpack.
Small Too-Trusting Kid takes it from him and tears into it immediately, stuffing at least two into his mouth at once. Natsu watches on in surprise, and decides to see if he can phish for any more info. "Sooo," he tries, leaning against the hood of the truck and crossing his arms, "you live on a farm or somethin', kid?"
Surprisingly Vigorous Kid nods his head in affirmation, and offers a cracker to Natsu, who holds out a hand in a declining motion. "With your parents, right? Where are they, do you know?"
Blue Cheese and Cracker Child shakes his head again, harden than before, and Natsu sighs. "Okay, well, how about you stick with me for a little while, uh…" he catches a glimpse of a word on the pocket of the boy's worn green backpack, "I'm gonna call you Happy for now, okay? Is that good?"
Receiving a nod in response, he moves on. "Right so, it can be you and me, okay Happy? I'm looking for my friends, and I think you can help. Can you?"
Happy nods several times, and grins. He's missing like three teeth, but the rest are pearly white, and his expression makes his new name more sensible. Natsu nods, and grins back at him before offering a hand.
"Okay, let's go!"
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(x)
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So Jellal and Wendy were currently stuck in what one would call a pinch. Other synonyms include, but are not limited to: a pickle, a sticky situation, and uh oh here's trouble.
Wendy did not like guts, or gore, or blood, or anything remotely gross and relating to dead bodies. But here they were, surrounded by at least five former grown ups all reaching for them with spindly fingers. She can see phalanges sticking out of some of them, and it makes her insides crawl.
She grips Jellal's jacket tighter and tries to calm her trembling. It doesn't work as well as she'd hoped though, and her knees still knock together while her teeth chatter. One of the zombies—she still can't believe the realness of using that term—the one with a toupee somehow still clinging to his head, swings at them, and she screams. Jellal pushes her farther behind him and grips the crowbar in his hand a little tighter.
All she can think of is two things, one being: we're going to die we're going to die we're going to die.
The other nagging at the back of her mind in a terrifying voice that says, you left the stove on.
She's not sure which is worse, but probably the former, although the prospect of dying and starting a neighborhood-wide fire isn't all that appealing either. What about all those things her mother taught her about kitchen safety? Don't leave the burner on, Wendy. Don't touch the pan while it's still hot without mitts, Wendy. Don't forget to wash your hands before cooking anything, Wendy. And remember, never forget to shut the stove off, Wendy.
If she weren't on the verge of crying already, she'd definitely be well on her way there.
The creepy former-people are moaning and groaning and getting closer, and Jellal turns around to look at her. "Close your eyes, okay? Stay behind me and keep them closed. I promise it'll all be over soon."
Her lips tremble and her eyes are watering but she nods her head quickly, three times in succession, and closes her eyes tight, tight, tighter. She feels Jellal shift, probably into a better fighting position, and waits. The permanently borrowed umbrella presses uncomfortably into her side, but she doesn't pay much attention to it. Her mind is still trying to process the fact that they're going to be killed by zombies. Zombies.
"Are your eyes closed?" he questions, voice quiet and careful. She lets out an affirmative squeak.
There's a horrible shriek from one of the walkers as Jellal smashes into it with the metal bar, and it makes a sickening squishing sound. Everything seems to happen like someone's fast-forwarding the next few minutes, after that.
The rest of the undead lunge at the same time, and she hears Jellal swear under his breath. It's a little frightening because he doesn't seem like the type to curse. There's grunting and panting and awful, tortured sounds coming from the small horde attacking them, and Wendy wishes she couldn't hear either. Then, she feels the body in front of her being pushed roughly to the side, and both she and Jellal tumble to the ground.
"Keep your eyes closed!"
She's crying and the dragging sound is intensifying and getting closer and they're going to die no way not now they're going to die. Jellal pulls her close to him and she buries her face in his shirt, eyes still closed.
And just when she's sure it's about to be over, just when Jellal starts to shake, just when she can smell the awful stench of rotting bodies so close-up for the first and last time, something happens.
There's the greatest battle cry she's ever heard, and then the sound of a massive struggle. Jellal tucks her back into a corner and presumably picks up his crowbar again to have another go-round. She doesn't see the fight—doesn't want to—but when Jellal calls for her to open her eyes, when it's all over, she sees the aftermath.
First of all, body parts and heads still lolling on the ground are everywhere. That's enough to want to make her close her eyes again, but she doesn't. Because there'd been something strange about Jellal's fighting partner, she already knew. And when they both look at their savior—Wendy for the first time, and Jellal seemingly for the first time—the truth slams into them like a freight train.
It's a girl.
Erza Scarlet lowers her bloody fire poker and reaches to wipe her hands off on her pretty skirt, but apparently changes her mind last-minute. She smiles at Wendy, who shakily waves back, not trusting her expression to be anything other than terrified still. Then she glances at Jellal.
And promptly faints.
tbc.
end notes: so i did human!happy. what up. also yeah this sucks but what can you do.