12/25/16

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, I love each and every one of you loyal readers!

Hello Jaynix

Standing from her bed, Jaynix was excited. Never mind the sleepless night she just endured, the time had finally come!

Pulling out her comm device she began reading to herself the schedule that she spent the entire night crafting to ensure it was perfect.

Taking everyone else's availability into consideration she finally had what she believed to be the ultimate schedule with which she could go all over NLA and hang out with all the Xenoform friends she's made over the last two days.

Walking out of her room she popped two slices of bread into the toaster and pulled the butter out of the fridge, eyes still glued to her schedule the whole time. Sure, there was a bit of back and forth between districts but at least she'd be getting in her exercise that way.

The bread popped out of the toaster and was immediately grabbed, butter applied she sat down and ate while thinking to herself.

"What dance should I show off to Thea? I always did like the calm grace of ballroom dancing. It'd be a little weird without a partner but I think I could pull it off. Flamenco maybe? Hrm…what was Kumon's favorite again? Oh right. He loved it all. Cop out."

Food eaten she downed a glass of water and exited the barracks, she reached for her longsword and chuckled. Out of a force of habit she had grabbed her weapons immediately after waking up. Her schedule would not be taking her out of NLA at all today but what did it hurt to carry them around?

As she began walking through the A.D. towards BLADE Tower she thought over her dances again. Never did she imagine she'd meet someone she could share one of her most beloved passions with. Someone who no doubt understands every aspect of dancing AND she'd be learning a new Xenoform dance!

Smiling wider than ever she ran through Armory Alley at a blistering pace and began ascending the steps of BLADE Tower, headed for the teleporter only to come to an immediate halt.

Smile vanishing, her face was filled with fear. Taking a few steps back she shook her head.

"You…you can't be here. You're dead.

Standing on the teleporter to the Ma-non Ship was the highest ranking soldier of her military unit: Tai Alistair.

He was staring right at her and without a word, he smiled.

She continued to shake her head, refusing to believe what she was seeing. He was dead! She heard him die! His last transmission, his broken voice as he apologized and thanked his comrades for their sacrifice. The explosions that erupted from his Skell as it was torn apart, she saw it all, it was deeply ingrained into her head.

She could only whisper "Why are you here?"

And as she expected, he did not respond. He wasn't here. He couldn't be. Yet for every part of herself that was trying to convince her this wasn't real, that this was some horrifying hallucination, she couldn't will herself forward. As much as she wanted to go to the Ma-non ship, as much as she wanted to finally let loose and enjoy herself, spend some time dancing, her body would not cooperate.

Realizing how dry her throat was she tried to swallow. It was obvious of course, she was just kidding herself. There could only be one reason as to why he'd be here now, standing before her, blocking her.

"These last few days I…I've managed to go on without thinking about you. About any of you. I thought I found peace. I thought I was…I thought I was cured…"

Shaking her head she turned and ran in the opposite direction. She could see Thea later, she could dance with someone later. There will be time to embrace her passion later. For now, maybe it's best that she heads over to the Residential District instead. Maybe ask Mon'barac more about the Red Orpheans. Learn something. Looking up she spotted the lift that would take her down to the ground level, closest to the R.D.

Standing on it were the Blood Brothers: Sagis Fair and Alto Moore. The two members of her unit most willing to go out and fight. Most willing to go out and kill. They gave each other a look before returning their gazes to Jaynix and holding out their fists.

Voice breaking, Jaynix asked "Why don't you want me to go to my friends?"

The pair remained silent.

"Why?"

Trying to keep herself together she felt tears welling up in her eyes. Frustrated, she ran away again, wiping her eyes and cursing. There was still somewhere else she could go, the freight elevator to the Lower A.D., the Hangar. If she could get down there she could make her way to the Commercial District.

It may be much earlier than planned but maybe she could spend some time chatting with Ni Zain instead of cooking. Learning about the Wrothians. She tried to will a smile thinking about that and about the curry that the pair would be preparing afterwards, but try as she might she just couldn't bring herself to smile.

Some part of her wanted her to stop and turn around, to check behind her but she could feel eyes on her, she knew they were following her and they wouldn't stop.

Coming to a halt she took a deep breath and waited as the freight elevator came back up. She was in the midst of telling herself everything was okay when she noted a single person standing in the middle of the elevator as it came to a stop. Arms crossed, the woman smirked. It was her unit's tactician, Eren Hills.

Without a second thought, Jaynix turned around and ran. She couldn't do this. She thought she could but she can't.

She had to talk to someone. Elma. Kruse. Lin. It didn't matter who, they'd listen. They could help her. This was not going to stop.

All she had to do was return to the barracks and tell them everything.

Any words or thoughts she had died in her mind as she came to an immediate halt. Her hands flew to her mouth, barely able to hold back a sob. The tears she thought she'd forced back finally began falling. Even though the man wasn't looking at her, she knew instantly who stood before her now.

Slowly, the man turned to her. Her commanding officer: General Hideo Kumon.

With a gentle smile he saluted to her.

Tears falling, she walked away, spirit broken the only thing she could think to do was head towards the East Gate. It's the only route left.

Wiping her eyes, she looked up to see…her.

Jaynix stood there, watching her as tears continued to fall.

The woman smiled before speaking, the far too familiar voice saying two simple words.

"Hello Jaynix."

Jaynix recalled every single moment she'd shared with not just the woman before her but the other's that stopped her at every turn.

Despite knowing exactly why it is they were here she still looked back to the person standing before her and with a broken voice asked.

"Why?"

The woman did not move, she did nothing. She just stood there.

Jaynix closed her eyes and nodded.

Slowly, she pulled out her comm device. Opening her eyes she took one last look at her schedule, reading the list of names of all the people she'd just met, reading the list of activities she was hoping to accomplish with each one. Above all she thought of that brief moment where she truly believed that everything was going to be okay.

Bringing one of her hands up, she watched it closely, trembling.

Moving closer to the comm device, she whispered "I'm sorry…"

With a single press, the schedule vanished.

She looked up again, the woman was gone.

Letting out a shaky breath, Jaynix walked back to Mission Control and took on as many missions as she could before running faster than she'd ever run out of NLA and into Primordia.

As she ran she heard them, heard everything. All the things she wanted nothing more than to forget. All the things she wanted to stop hearing. To stop remembering.

Running without end or reason, Jaynix let out a loud and painful scream.