A/N: Thank you for the favorites and follows. Thank you all so much for sticking with me, and for those who are kind enough to leave a review.
Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time or its characters.
Emma felt the presence of him before her eyes even opened.
The beams of early morning sun peeked through a nearby porthole, the only source of light in the small cabin.
Despite having never spent the night in his quarters before now, Emma didn't have her usual uneasiness about waking up in a strange place. It was if she had done this a hundred times before, and the familiarity of it made her smile against his skin.
This had probably been her first night since she could remember without a dream or vision.
She turned her head to look up at him from his left arm; and Emma gently moved over him, to rest her chin against his sternum, the small hairs of his chest tickling her. Killian was still asleep, his pink lips slightly parted, as she appreciated the long, beautiful lashes that covered her favorite set of eyes.
At some point, he had roused her from sleep with fluttery kisses over her neck and face; whispering passionate words that still resonated through her soul. They had made love slowly, and without limits or hesitation. Since today was the day the allies would set off to wage war, the two of them knew that the previous night might have been their last chance to be alone for awhile; or perhaps, ever again.
Emma had let her nerves get the best of her since they arrived in Storybrooke, and now was still apprehensive about what lay ahead. Even so, she knew that the allies had trained and strategized to the best of their abilities; and that their failure would certainly not be from lack of preparation.
All of the details of their mission had been worked out beforehand; but the plan was relatively basic.
David would command the main army, leading it to Phillip and Aurora's castle; where the witches had overrun and set their forces. He would be accompanied by Prince Phillip, Mulan (and a few of the merry men,) Belle, Victor (as their lead medic), and Anton; who had been able to find about a dozen half-giants in the kingdom to join their cause.
Three separate teams of militias would surround the nearby woods, slowly picking off any scouts or perimeter guards around the castle; and would therefore, separate the evil forces from any supplies or reinforcements. Robin and Mary Margaret would lead the one in the center, while Ruby (along with a few of the wolves she had recruited who didn't hate all of mankind) and Chief Powhattan would lead on either side.
The Navy was made up of six different ships, which had been constructed in less than a month's time, with assistance from Regina and the fairies. Prince Eric was to captain one of them, while Ariel and some of her mermaid allies would do their best to protect the vessels from sea creature attacks. Killian had agreed to command the entire naval voyage, with the Jolly Roger as its main vessel; despite his uneasiness with having so much power.
Only one thing seemed a bit unsettling to Emma, and that was Gold's so-called "plan" to get the other two rings. That, and the fact that he had a good idea or knew for sure who the four ring holders were. Further, was there more to his history with the Black Fairy that could help them get the wand from Maleficent and Zelena?
Although she had shared everything Gold had said with Killian last night, Emma felt like it was up to her to find out who these ring holders were. If there was a way she could prove to Gold that her skills would be beneficial to this part of their plan, perhaps he would give her more information.
Still, for the first time in a long time, Emma felt like she was ready to take on the task at hand, without the feeling of isolation that normally came with it.
While she listened to the steadiness of Killian's breath, like the rustling of a warm breeze over blades of grass, Emma couldn't help but notice how peaceful and vulnerable the man appeared to be while he slept.
She absentmindedly traced her fingers over his scar; one that Neal had given them during their duel almost six weeks ago. Despite the severity of the wound, her magic had been enough to heal the gash; which was now a small, pink line on his left cheek. Emma couldn't help but lean forward and kiss it, tasting the salty sheen of sweat still left there from their night of passion.
Suddenly, she felt him stir beneath her, and Emma lifted herself up to watch his bright, blue eyes meet her own. His genuine smile was nearly celestial, unlike anything she has ever seen; and she felt her breath catch, as Killian raised his warm hand to her face.
"Good morning, beautiful."
Giving her no time to respond, he pulled her lips to his own, slowly darting his tongue out to part her mouth and invite him in. Emma whimpered softly into his kiss, adjusting her body to lie down, as he pushed himself onto his left elbow to hover over her. Killian finally pulled apart, resting his forehead on hers.
"Hey you," she breathed out as a sigh, her heart beating wildly now. Usually in these scenarios, Emma worried about her morning breath, but it seemed like such a trivial thing to care about now.
"How long have you been laying there, luv?"
Emma blushed, knowing full well that she had been caught watching him sleep, but didn't bother to cover her tracks in the slightest, and decided to tease him instead.
"All night, of course. Or did you forget already?" Emma winked at him mischievously, before she quickly reached up and kissed his shoulder, inhaling the spice and salty sea that was Killian.
He chuckled above her, snaking his hand below the covers and placed it on her smooth stomach, summoning goose bumps across her flesh.
"How could a man forget such pleasure like you bestowed on me last night, Sweetheart? I'll surely have to make it up somehow…"
She opened her mouth to retort, but there was a deep growl in her abdomen, and Emma was suddenly reminded of her forgotten dinner the night before.
Frowning, Killian looked down, having felt it too. "When was the last time you had anything to eat, lass?"
She winced slightly and shifted her eyes to the other corner of the room, hoping to avoid the conversation. With everything going on, food was the last thing from her mind, and her digestive system had taken the brunt of it lately.
"I'll grab something in the kitchen before we leave."
He didn't respond, but Emma waited for the lecture to come. Instead, though, he dipped his head down, planting wet kisses along her pulse, which hadn't stopped racing from their previous one. She wove her hands into his soft hair, craning her neck and moaning softly into the cabin.
"Killian, we have to be on the docks in a few hours to say good-bye and I still haven't packed," she whispered, though her body did nothing to stop his ministrations. "You're the captain, after all, and-"
He cut her off with another fiery kiss, his tongue brushing against hers lazily in erotic patterns. Pulling away, panting now, the man locked eyes with Emma again, the bright blue clouded with lust.
"Captain I am, indeed, Darling. But until our journey begins, I'm technically still a pirate," he breathed over her huskily, a faint hint of rum still lingering on his breath.
She felt her mind start to shut off, and her body take over; spreading her thighs to allow him to settle between them, as he nudged further and further down her body, making Emma shiver. He flashed a smirk that caused her knees to shake, and Killian mumbled something, before he disappeared under the blanket.
"And a pirate always returns the favor."
Emma had spent the last hour alternating between discussing war tactics and being hugged by blubbering family and friends.
The docks were lined with soldiers dressed in their various kinds of armor, civilians who were there to say good bye to their loved ones going off to battle, and just about every kind of weaponry Emma has ever seen or heard of in her lifetime.
The council had decided that each group should have someone of magical ability with them, so that the forces could keep in contact. Regina had devised a way to use objects that would allow them to communicate each other's movements; or, what Henry had jokingly called "battle skyping."
Regina would be with Robin, two of the fairies would accompany the other militias; and Gold would travel with David's force, while Emma was to go with the Navy. The Jolly Roger was the fastest ship in the realm, and they hoped that its speed would be enough to get Emma into the castle before the sisters noticed.
She hugged Tink and Ashley (Emma still couldn't call her Cinderella,) before she glanced down at her watch and winced; the sun bouncing off its surface and blinding her slightly. It was nearly two, and soon the Navy would set sail, while the ground forces would start their marches. Emma swung her head around, and a mop of unruly, brown hair caught her eye in the crowd.
Henry was clearly still in a sour mood; a begrudging look on his face, as he helped Lancelot with his saddle. Although he was dressed for battle, wearing an arming doublet and some chain mail, there would be no direct fighting for the young, knight-in-training.
Emma made her way over to him with a cautious expression, before she pulled him into her side and gave him a reassuring squeeze.
"Someday you will see plenty of fighting, believe me," Emma whispered into his hair, as he watched Lancelot prep for a journey.
Her son didn't respond, but at least seemed to consider her words, as she stroked his soft hair between her fingers.
She, Regina, and even David had declared that Henry would not fight on the front lines, but was to stay back with the dwarves, the Blue Fairy, and a few others to watch over Greyson and the castle. The boy had taken it as an insult, arguing that he had been properly trained; and that he should be able join the other knights.
She knew this was probably the best place for him; as they had decided Tinkerbelle would go with Aurora to David's secret hunting retreat in the woods. Emma had used the argument that the princess had been through so much already, and had a rough past with Maleficent. In reality, though, she had made the suggestion to protect Aurora's unborn child; whose existence was still a secret.
"I know that you would be a big help out there, but someone needs to stay back to protect the castle," she said gently, as the laughter of a few children playing nearby nearly drowned her out.
Emma glanced over at Aurora, to see the princess embrace her husband, before there was a familiar feeling in her ears; like her head was suddenly dunked underwater.
Oh no…not again.
Emma understood immediately, and glanced up to see Lancelot's horse turn his head toward her slightly, his chestnut-colored mane falling over his face. She knew it was crazy to hold her breath and wait for a creature to speak, but Emma was unable to do anything else, immobilized where she stood.
"The young man feels a responsibility to this kingdom and its inhabitants, Your Highness."
Doing her best not to visibly react, Emma glanced around to make sure no one else had murmured the statement. Although the horse was brawny and a bit ragged looking, his voice had been gentle, and almost harmonic.
Emma shook her head, but the odd feeling remained. Unable to hear anything else, despite the obvious bustle going on around her, she listened to his next words with trepidation and just a bit of intrigue.
"He simply wants a chance to prove himself. Certainly you, of all people, can understand that."
The feeling had gone without warning, and Emma turned her head down to meet her son's gaze. His brown eyes had the same look that meant he knew she was hiding something; except that Emma guessed he had no idea what had just happened.
If it even happened at all.
"Mom?"
Giving him a small smile, Emma took a fleeting peek over at the horse, who was now interested in something inside of Lancelot's satchel on the ground.
Still a bit distracted, she turned to her son again. "Look Kiddo, I get why you're frustrated, but this is the best place for you to be right now."
Maybe the horses were really just Emma's subconscious trying to tell her something. Or maybe she was just simply out of her damn mind. Either way, she knew that Henry had the same sense of adventure that her parents (and even she and Neal) had in large doses. With everything going on, it was only natural for him to want to be a part of it.
She watched the boy tuck his lower lip under his teeth, a frown still etched on his face; and Emma tried her best not to grin, as Henry looked so much like David when he pouted. Kneeling down to tie up her boot, Emma looked up at her son with a determined gaze, and hoped Henry would take her as seriously as she meant to be.
"Henry, Greyson needs his nephew to protect him."
His expression softened at that, and he peered down at her. Henry gave Emma a small smile that gave her such a feeling of strength; she suddenly felt powerful enough to take on both the witches, with or without The Black Wand.
He leaned forward to embrace her, and his leather-covered arms brushed smoothly against her neck, as she caught a hint cinnamon that still lingered on Henry's breath from his morning cocoa. Emma saw Regina out of the corner of her eye, as the queen made her way over to them.
"Hey there, honey. Robin has something for you."
Regina gave Emma a poignant look behind their son's back, and Henry straightened quickly, elation written all over his face.
"Is it a crossbow?!"
The queen raised her eyebrow in mock ignorance, as she cupped his cheek; and Emma allowed herself to enjoy the happiness in her son's voice.
"Perhaps," Regina replied, before the boy whooped in delight, and took off toward Robin, leaving the two mothers to watch him with smiles on their faces.
She saw Regina glance over at her, covered from head to toe in green, leather, hunting garb; though stylishly altered a bit.
It had been nearly two weeks since their training atop the tower, and the two women had barely said more than a brief sentence to one another. Although she wasn't angry, Emma was wary of how emotional Regina had been that night, and wondered whether she might still be.
"I hope you don't mind," Regina began, shifting her gaze back over to Henry, "but I discussed the idea of a crossbow with Neal, since he and Henry had started practicing while you were in Narnia."
Emma shook her head slowly, her arms crossed over her chest, as she let out a deep sigh. "What happened to the days when all it took was a story or game to make him happy?"
She watched the nostalgic look in Regina's eyes, and understood that the woman beside her felt exactly the way that she did. Emma's memories of Henry's childhood may have been placed there by magic, but it was done by the very same person who had actually been there through all of it.
Now, she and Regina would both see him grow into a man, and there was little either of them could do to shield him from the dangers of this world, or any other- for that matter.
"He's very lucky to have you in his life, Miss Swan."
Emma's mouth nearly gaped open in astonishment. Regina maintained her guarded stance, her hands covering over her arms, like she was cold, despite the warm air that surrounded them.
"You know, despite everything that I've done and said during our training," Regina mused, still unable to meet Emma's gaze, "I've never seen such potential in another person before."
Emma wasn't sure why she was saying this now, but it seemed the woman had wanted to express this for some time. Perhaps it was because they were going off to battle. Or, maybe Regina sensed a change in Emma's demeanor; her heart more open, now.
"You're ready."
The queen had said the words quite low, and stared out into the ocean, a slightly-amused, yet genuine expression written on her face. Emma wasn't sure how to respond; the slight awkwardness of the moment becoming more apparent. There was a brief pause, as the exciting chatter continued around them, before Regina finally looked at her directly.
"But listen to me, Emma. Do not, for one moment, underestimate Maleficent," Regina said with determination in her voice. "Now that we know she could be one of the ring holders, chances are, she probably knows it too. And make no mistake, it won't take her long to find every ounce of fear, insecurity, and weakness that you have... and she will use it against you."
Emma frowned, considering whether to ask Regina more about her past with Maleficent, but decided against it. "How do you know?"
Suddenly, she watched the other woman's face grow dark; and in that moment, Emma saw more of the Evil Queen in her features than Regina.
"Because that's what I would have done."
The queen moved to walk away, before Emma called out, making her turn around with a raised brow.
"Thank you, Regina… for everything."
It was all Emma could muster at the moment, but she hoped the other woman realized how much her devotion to Henry and teaching her magic had meant. It seemed that they had come to an accord; as she gave Emma a half-smile, before she turned to make her way over to Robin.
She watched Henry show Regina the new crossbow, a wide grin plastered on his face. Emma enjoyed the exchange, before she saw Aurora walking toward her.
"I wanted to express my gratitude for what you have done to protect me and my baby," Aurora whispered quietly, glancing over at Phillip, who chatted with Tinkerbelle. "I know he will be safe with David and the main army; since the witches are sure to come for me and our child."
Emma didn't respond, but nodded her head in understanding. Although she admired the woman's bravery in order to keep her husband from harm, Emma thought it cruel that a man could die in the field of battle, without the knowledge that he would become a father.
"I should go," Aurora said, looking back at Emma. "Thank you again."
"Good luck to you, Aurora," she said, giving her a look of support.
Emma made her way over to where Mary Margaret and David stood, where they were saying their good-byes to Greyson, who cooed happily in his mother's arms. There was a sudden pang of worry, as Emma let the weight of how much her family needed her settle in her chest.
David noticed her approach, and waved at his daughter to join them, as her baby brother looked at Emma over Mary Margaret's shoulder.
"You think he's ready to defend his home?"
Mary Margaret turned with a smile, and Emma leaned over to kiss Greyson's soft, blonde hair, while the baby pulled at the leather cords on her vest.
She was surprised Mary Margaret hadn't insisted on staying here with her son, but they all understood her importance to the allied armies; as she had gained a great deal of knowledge of the woods when she had been on the run from the Evil Queen.
Emma suddenly remembered something, and pulled her bag around from her shoulder.
"I almost forgot," she mumbled, as Greyson started to fidget, the excitement of the port clearly having an effect on him. David stopped packing his horse, and leaned over to inspect the contents of her bag.
"What do you have there, Emma?"
Mary Margaret gasped before she even passed the white blanket over to her and the baby, as David placed a hand on Emma's back, the warmth coming through her leather vest. After a few seconds, she saw her mother's eyes fill with tears, and Emma placed her hand on Mary Margaret's arm.
"I know the last two weeks of the pregnancy were very hard on you, and that you both have been so busy with war prep recently," she said gently, taking the liberty to wrap the soft material around her brother. "So I took the blanket you made, and personalized it for Greyson myself."
Finding a few minutes between her training, Emma had used her couple of lessons on embroidery with Granny to put her brother's name on the blanket in secret. The white material was very much like hers had been, but she used blue thread, instead of purple.
Once, she had wondered why anyone would bother embroidering her name onto the blanket, only to give her away in the end. While she worked on finishing the blanket for her brother, Emma had imagined Mary Margaret sitting in a rocking chair much like that one; doing the same for her, before she was born.
"Emma…" her mother choked out, pulling her into an embrace. David joined his family, and wrapped his arms around all of them, his chainmail clinking in the process. She should have cared that they were in a public place, but Emma knew this was exactly what she needed.
After a moment, she stepped away from the embrace, and David smiled at her, squeezing Emma's shoulder, before he placed a quick kiss on her forehead and headed back to his horse. Granny came over to get Greyson from Mary Margaret, who had finally regained her composure.
Emma leaned over and kissed her brother one more time, his blanket still clenched in his tiny fist. "Bye Greysie," she whispered quietly, his blue eyes shining brightly back at her. "Be good for your nephew."
Never thought she would ever say those words…
The baby smiled widely again, a toothless grin that forced a small chuckle from Emma. Mary Margaret came up beside her daughter and took her hand, as they both watched Granny take Greyson back to the castle.
Her mother turned to her, then, and placed a hand on Emma's cheek. They had shared so many words before, and she felt content in the knowledge that nothing more needed to be said now.
The queen slung the bow over her head, and gave her daughter one last reassuring smile over shoulder as she walked away; one that held the pride and faith that Mary Margaret had always showed her from the beginning.
She allowed herself to enjoy the simplicity of the moment, before a voice came from behind.
"Finally have something to look cheerful about, Dearie?"
Her smile faded, and Emma narrowed her eyes immediately.
Moment's over.
It didn't surprise Emma that Gold had opted to wear his scaly, skin-tight, leather uniform. It reminded her of his garb he donned in Neverland; a symbol of the Dark One.
"Maybe you should be finding the other two rings instead of making jokes. That is, of course, unless you already know where they are."
Gold stepped back from her, as if to sense her tension toward him, picking at his nail like he didn't have a care in the world.
"I would say the Black Wand is equally important, Miss Swan. Are you sure you're up to the task?"
Emma took a deep breath to maintain her composure. Like Killian's ability to get her wound into an emotional wreck, Gold had the ability to do the same, but for completely different and unsettling reasons.
"It would be a lot easier if I knew more about the wand and your past with the Black Fairy," she said with a glare. "Not to mention the identity of the four ring holders."
As usual, he seemed prepared for the topic, smiling sardonically as a rushed sailor pushed past her. The stench of fish sitting in the sun hit her suddenly, making Emma queasy, and she wondered whether it was from the smell or her frustration with Gold.
The man surprised her, though, when he spoke up over the crowd noise.
"I only stole the wand after the Black Fairy and her sister betrayed me."
Narrowing her eyes, Emma glanced around to see whether anyone was watching them. She knew Regina would be interested in this topic, but the queen still seemed occupied with Henry.
"The Black Fairy wasn't always evil, and when we met, she practiced light magic. Only when her sister convinced her to steal my dagger and I helped the kingdom to take her daughter from her did the fairy's heart turn dark," Gold explained, his face falling slightly.
Instead of smiling speaking sarcastically as Emma was used to, Gold kept his gaze on hers, a look of seriousness on his features. This made her feel more uneasy than any smirk ever could.
"We had began to grow close, and for the first time since I was with Bae, I found myself wanting to share my power with another," he said sadly, before his face turned stoic once again. "But like her daughter, the Black Fairy was unable to resist the darkness. Ultimately, her greed led to her demise."
Emma knew her mouth must have dropped open for a brief second, and that her face probably resembled a codfish.
This was why Maleficent was able to find the wand so easily; why she had told Regina back in Storybrooke that the Black Wand was rightfully hers.
"You mean that Maleficent is the Black Fairy's daughter?"
The man actually had the nerve to look ashamed for having kept this a secret, though Emma was sure Gold would never admit it. He turned his attention away from her, and stared over at Neal, who was saying his good-byes.
"You need to find a way to get that wand," his voice almost faltering. "Despite Maleficent's blood connection to it, you are still powerful enough to take the wand from her. I will make good on my promise to produce the other two rings."
As angry as she wanted to be with him for withholding even more information from all of them, Emma couldn't help but be relieved that she knew this information before going up against Maleficent. Still, she knew there was so much more he wasn't telling her.
"And the ring holders?"
Gold said nothing, but held out his hand, silently requesting what Emma had expected he would. He wanted the two rings they had procured in the Narnia, and despite his secrecy, Emma understood that this information was crucial to their effort. Ultimately, the endgame was all Emma cared about, and she always knew Gold to be someone who got results.
Plopping the soft, velvet bag into Gold's hand, Emma narrowed her eyes and used, what she hoped, sounded like her most intimidating voice.
"Fine, whatever. Once you get the rings, be sure to find me in the castle, and we can combine them with the wand," she said, as Emma noticed that face had relaxed once the rings were in his possession.
"But we're running out of time, Gold, so whatever your plan is; you had better get on it. Don't forget to use the communicator if something changes."
Gold nodded silently and turned to walk over where Neal stood, his scaly armor giving him the look of a snake slithering away.
As the Jolly's ship bell rang over the pier, the echoing sound resonating over the nearby brick buildings, she watched the man who literally held their fate in his hands retreat toward his family. Emma had to take a leap of faith if they had any chance of winning this one.
But that didn't mean she had to feel great about it.
Don't make me regret this, Gold.
Despite Phillip and Aurora's castle being so far from their own kingdom, The Jolly Roger had already made impressive progress, as the bow cut through the choppy waves, causing the ship's boards to groan in protest.
She had gone above deck to give Killian time to get the ship's affairs in order, as he and his Lieutenant discussed the details. The stars shone so brightly above her, that Emma was sure she could see each and every one. Two stars, in particular, caught her eye, and she stared at them transfixed, before she felt a jolt of pain.
Emma took a deep breath and held down the twisting, queasy feeling in her stomach, her head pounding relentlessly. She didn't recall feeling like this when they had gone to Neverland, but perhaps her mind had been in such a frenzy, that she hadn't noticed the physical effects.
With all this new information regarding the Black Fairy being Maleficent's mother and the ring holders being the sole owner of their magic, Emma's mind was reeling. It was fortunate the Gold had told her as much as he did, that didn't mean it didn't worry her. Still, both Regina and Gold had told Emma that she was powerful, capable of beating Maleficent and Zelena.
Emma just needed to prove it to herself.
The clattering of boots made Emma jerk her head around briefly, before turning back to face the sea; as Neal approached her with a curious expression. The collar of his coat was raised up to his ears, which reminded her of Count Dracula's attire at ball the month before.
Henry thought it would be a good idea for Neal to go with Killian and Emma on the Jolly Roger; as his previous time on a ship might be a plus. Secretly, Emma wondered if Neal hadn't tried to sway Henry for his own purposes, but she didn't really care at this point. All that mattered was winning this war.
Emma watched him from the corner of her eye, as he came to stand beside her without invitation, leaning over the railing, before he turned to look at her profile. "You alright, Em? You seem a bit out of sorts."
So Emma obviously looked as horrible as she felt at the moment, but she couldn't help but recognize that unlike Neal, Killian didn't need to ask her when there was something wrong. He always just seemed to know; always so in tune with her emotions and body language.
"It's just seasickness," she mumbled, staring out at the water.
He nodded his head in understanding, as a few blonde curls blew over her face. The wind felt warm, but the breeze was strong, causing the sails above them to struggle against the masts, like a prisoner trying to free himself from his chains.
Neal suddenly barked a laugh, which made Emma glance over at him. "Remember that time I suggested we get drunk before the carnival, and I puked all over the Tiltawhirl?"
Emma grinned at the memory, but the smile hadn't reached her eyes. That was so long ago, a whole other lifetime. They were just kids then, completely different people; and now had problems to face that wouldn't have seemed like a possibility at that time.
The ship lurched forward again, and Emma felt her stomach flip over. Perhaps it might be a good idea for her to get to bed soon, since they would have an early start tomorrow.
"Do you know if Killian is still in his cabin?"
She didn't need to turn and watch Neal's reaction to notice his body tense up significantly. He gripped the edge of the ship, and his knuckles turned white, before he released the rail, smiling.
"He's probably spending a little one-on-one with a bottle of rum, as usual," he said with a snort, and Emma shot a glare in his direction.
"What does that mean?"
Another gust of wind blew over her face, which was flushed and hot with blood that had risen there in her anger. Her head screamed at her, but Emma ignored the pain, her eyes narrowing at Neal, who looked taken aback.
"I…I didn't mean to imply…or say that-"
"Maybe you don't approve of my feelings for him, Neal, but you can at least try to understand," she spat at him, the warmth spreading in her fingertips.
He opened his mouth to speak, but Emma took a step back from the railing and cut him off.
"I care about him so much," she said ardently, as the salty sea mist clung to her face. "He's the only one who has ever asked me what I wanted to be. You, my parents, and even Henry; you all expected me to be something I wasn't or wasn't ready for."
The look of hurt that flashed across the man's features was enough to bring Emma to her senses a bit, the feeling in her palms dulling to a slight tingle. She watched his expression fall, the wrinkles in his forehead creasing deeper, as he bit his lip in apparent discomfort, before she continued.
"And although I love you all deeply for believing in me, Killian was the one person who reminded me that it's not always about fate or destiny, but choice. That it's my choice, and that I need to accept both the light and dark inside of me."
Neal turned back to the ocean again, his eyes filled with hurt. Emma took another deep breath, and leaned against the railing again, her left arm against his right.
"Look Neal, I'm sorry that you had to find out the way that you did," she said warily, her voice more gentle now. "I didn't even understand what he and I had at that time; but now that I do, I need you to accept it."
For the first time, he seemed to take her words in thoughtfully, shaking his head. Neal used his arm to turn her body to face him, and Emma met his gaze without hesitation.
"I know," he sighed heavily, his hand warm on her elbow. "I've been so focused on trying to get our family together that I've lost sight of what is important; the safety of the kingdom, and the happiness of the ones I love."
Neal lifted her chin, so that Emma looked directly at him again, his face determined. She felt her throat tighten, as his desperation filled her with feelings of guilt and pity.
"I will always want to be with you, Emma," he whispered gently, his warm breath falling over her face. "But not at the cost of doing what is right. I will never lose myself again."
At that moment, Emma's heart lifted for the man she knew Neal to be, a good man; once her best friend, and the father of her child. She pulled him into an embrace, her eyes filling with tears.
They stayed that way for a moment, before she pulled away gently, their faces still close. Emma's breath caught, though, as she saw Neal's brown eyes flicker to her lips briefly, and back up to meet her stare. He leaned in carefully, watching her reaction as he did so, but she grabbed both of his arms to push him away.
Stopping suddenly, her eyes widened in shock, and Neal frowned with concern. "Emma?"
There was a fleeting moment of recognition of what was about to happen, before the bile rose up, and spilled out of her, splashing onto Neal's coat, and all over the deck.
She watched in horror as he glanced down at the vomit clinging to his clothes, and Emma shook her head violently. "Neal, I'm sorry! It happened so suddenly... I don't even understand why-"
And then it was like a lightning strike; like it had been atop the tower with Regina- a sudden realization. She racked her brain, counting the days and weeks they had been in the Enchanted Forest. Four, five, six…seven weeks. It was at least another month before she needed her next shot.
It's not possible.
Her heart pounded against her chest, as Neal's voice droned in her ears; his words unintelligible as Emma's mind reeled.
Her clothes had gotten tighter, but she simply had chalked that up to Granny's grilled cheeses and pies. Emma had been having stomach aches in the mornings and evenings for two weeks now, but surely it was just the stress. Everything had been so overwhelming, and her appetite was just a side effect of that.
Suddenly, the flash of a memory; and she saw the image of a syringe sitting on the nightstand back in New York. Emma had filled it up, shortly before she and Henry had packed for Storybrooke. She had it in her hand, and lifted her jeans down to administer the birth control shot, before…
…before Hook had knocked on the door, and Emma had gone to let him in; the syringe still filled.
No. Oh God, no.
She felt the bile rise in her throat again, as Neal's continued shouts rang over the quiet night. Emma's vision started to blur, and her knees grew unsteady, as she struggled to maintain her breathing.
Her last thought was of Maleficent's words ringing out to her in a terrible shrill; the real version of herself cringing so much more than the vision version had at the time, now that she truly understood their meaning.
"The child will be ours."