Chapter 33: What else mattered?

"I feel so welcomed." Ichigo said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes when he had taken in the state of his living room. Grimmjow's angry scowl meant that what they were looking at was supposed to not look the way it did. Shiro laughed, Shinji smiled and Ulquiorra muttered a not-so-quite 'idiots.'

It appeared like they had originally planned a welcoming party for him, a banner on the ceiling which had the words 'WELCOME BACK!' boldly written on it. There was also the balloons, food and his friends were present and it all seemed sweet.

Except the food had already started being ravished by his so called friends before he had come in plus he was greeted by a naturally enthusiastic "Hey Kurosaki. How's life?" from none other than Nnoitra who was happily munching on the chocolate cake that Shiro had probably made for him. At least the guy actually acknowledged his presence. The other made grunting noises and hums as they ate the food and continued watching Die Hard 2 on his TV.

Honestly. He was feeling so much love it was over-fucking-whelming.

"I am going to murder every single one of you." Grimmjow told them with fake cheeriness and a large grin. They had the sense and decency to pause and look scared. Even Nnoitra dropped his plate of cake and sat up straighter on the couch, giving Grimmjow a sheepish smile. Renji stopped, shrugged and went back to the delicious dumplings like what the fuck ever.

"You're scary bro and I enjoy living but I haven't had Ichigo's cooking in over a month and the only person on par with his cooking is his brother so I feel little to no remorse for inhaling it. Suck my perfect ass." Ichigo couldn't even be bothered to stay angry after hearing that, laughing with his brother and Shinji as Grimmjow started shaking Renji, his aim being to watch as his best friend choked on the dumplings.

"Seriously though, welcome back Ichigo. I'm sure you're not going to miss that hospital." Shuuhei said getting off his seat beside Renji on the couch and nearly knocking Ichigo down with his hug. Ichigo hugged him back, squeezing him tightly when he felt the other shaking slightly.

"It wasn't your fault. When are you going to stop thinking that?" Ichigo asked with a fond sigh escaping his lips. His words made everyone quiet down because the mentioning of the accident caused a lot of pain for the group.

"Hah. Probably never but I'll try." Shuuhei said as he pulled himself out of the hug to give Ichigo a pained smile.

Ichigo's reaction was to lovingly pat the top of Shuuhei's head with his fists, only it was hard enough to make the raven fall face first to the ground.

"WHAT THE FUCK ICHIGO?!" Renji yelled as he got away from Grimmjow's grasp, which had loosened so he could easily laugh his lungs to death. Yumichika laughed with him, finding it so freaking hilarious that Shuuhei didn't look like he was even conscious anymore. Ikkaku snickered while Nnoitra was smart enough to know they might be next so he tried blending with the bean bag he had accommodated just in case he had to receive one of his 'love pats.'

"When are you guys going to get the fuck over it?! I'm alive. Most people aren't that lucky so quit whining. Now you guys better have left me something chocolate related or it would be really hard to get the blood off the walls." Ichigo growled, striking fear into the hearts of the outrageously strong group of teenagers in the living room. Shuuhei was helped up by a worried Renji and Ichigo felt like laughing when Shuuhei looked pretty dizzy and mumbled about seeing his late grandmother after so many years. Maybe he gave the other a concussion, he'd live. Ichigo moved past them, feeling powerful for some reason as they passed him the bags of chocolate as he walked past them to sit beside Grimmjow on the ground and in front of the TV. After a short while, they were all comfortable huddled up together and watching the movie while talking about everything, filling Ichigo on whatever it was that he had missed and asking him how the fuck did he get such high marks in his exams when he had gone through fucking brain surgery, having done the semester's exam from his hospital room with a teacher present. Ichigo laughed and talked animatedly, happy to be out of that white room and around the people he cared about the most.

The grown ups watched with smiles on their faces, Ulquiorra's being more mental than physical, all relieved that Ichigo was alright. The three of them moved to the kitchen, Shiro bringing out two cans of beer for himself and Ulquiorra while Shinji had a can of soda.

"So...what's the deal with Grimmjow's mum?" Shiro asked after a while of just listening to the laughter of his brother.

"Yeah. I had gone to see those two yesterday and Grimmjow was shaking horribly just from seeing her according to Ichigo. What did she do to him?" Shinji asked as he took a seat in front of the counter, right beside Ulquiorra while Shiro stood leaning against the cooker and facing them.

Ulquiorra sighed after taking a small sip of his beer. "I barely know anything about it. Just the small chances I had seen her in the act and was practically threatened not to tell. Grimmjow might even despise me for telling you this much. She abused him. No. I think the right term for it would be torture. Her coming would mean she wants something from Grimmjow. She would be trouble and a probable danger in relations to both Ichigo and Grimmjow. Any ideas on how to deal with it? I would ask my uncle but he can't put off his duties any longer and would be leaving for a meeting in Norway."

"She would be after me. At least for a while." The three of them turned to the entrance to see Ichigo who looked as serious as always, scowl in place. Grimmjow and the others stood behind him with grim expressions.

"What makes you say that Ichi?" Shiro asked, not surprised his brother had eavesdropped.

Ichigo entered the kitchen fully and stood beside his brother, his scowl falling to show an expression of annoyance. Every time his mind conjured up that bitch's face Ichigo could feel his blood boil.

"Ichigo...why would she be after you?" Grimmjow asked as he walked in after Ichigo, the other guys around him watching everyone curiously and with determined eyes. They're there for both Grimmjow and Ichigo till the bitter end. Hopefully that wouldn't be soon, they hadn't even graduated high school yet.

"I had insulted her pride, embarrassed her, threatened her and treated her like she was nothing but phlegm on the sidewalk. A woman like that wouldn't take that lying down. She'll come after me in some way. I'm expecting it to involve some elaborate scheme to get Grimmjow to break up with me. She might even send some goons after me if she really has those connections." Ichigo listed off, sounding like he was in some military style strategy room.

"That's some dangerous shit Ichi. Want me to track her down?" Shinji asked as he whipped out a pocket sized tablet, no not a phone apparently, and started typing on it.

"That'd be a good idea. She may be just a snooty bitch but even a child with a knife is as dangerous as an assassin with poison. If she sends anyone for Ichigo or Grimmjow we need to be ready. It's Winter break so it'd be easier for her to get them whenever they're out. I'm actually kind of excited." Shiro grinned, grabbed a small kitchen knife from the rack behind him and twirled it between his fingers. His psychotic grin making everyone else watching the three uneasy.

"What exactly are you guys?!" Renji asked slightly nervous. They were acting like they were in some secret spy agency.

"Never told them did you?' Shinji asked as he typed on the tablet at warp speed.

Shiro and Ichigo both gave similar sheepish grins with small shrugs.

The blonde sighed. "We used to be in some yakuza back in Tokyo. Trainees but we were good with what we did. The cops caught up to the dumbass we had for a boss and everyone got captured. I used my skills to get us cleared." Shinji explained like them having a past in the crime world was totally normal and they should just shrug it off.

"Whaaaaaaaat?" Renji, Shuuhei, Ikkaku and Nnoitra both yelled with surprise.

"...Seriously forget about it. Not a time of our lives we particularly enjoyed." Ichigo tried calming everyone down with a nervous smile on his face.

"Stuff happened. We needed the safety and money so we did what we had to do. Look let's forget about it okay? The only reason I'm telling all of you is because I actually give a shit about all of you. Every single one of us have had shit happen to us so let's forget about all that stuff and get back to the important stuff okay?" Shiro ordered not liking the way Ulquiorra kept quiet and was just staring outside the kitchen window.

"...Whatever. Okay, whatever but why are you guys treating Grimmjow's mum like she's an actual crime lord?" Nnoitra tried suppressing his curiosity and shock so that he could just focus on one thing at a time. They really knew absolutely nothing about their orange headed friend.

Shinji snorted, his lips stretching into a smaller version of Nnoitra's smile. Is it wrong that Nnoitra was thinking he had some long lost relative in front of him?

"She abused her kid because he wasn't a she. She sometimes lapses and thinks he's a girl. She has a superiority complex and is obviously crazy. A possible psychopath that can pretend to be a normal aristocratic woman. Yeah. We've got to be careful with that one. She could do something we don't see coming." Shinji informed them and it all just pissed Grimmjow off. From finding out his mother is truly insane to the fact that Ichigo was still an enigma.

He growled loudly as he slammed his fists against the counter, quietening down the whole room.

"What the actual fuck?! Why does that woman have to ruin my fucking life?! I didn't ask for this! It was her fucking fault I was born!" Grimmjow yelled at himself and it was breaking Ichigo's heart hearing that from him.

He acted fast. Grabbed Grimm by the wrist and started leading him out of the kitchen.

"We're going for a walk. You guys are staying over. Slumber party. Get your make up ready. Bye." Ichigo told them with a nervous smile before leaving the house with Grimmjow.

Once they were on the porch and the door wasn't about to be pried open by their curious group, Ichigo turned to Grimmjow who looked drained, angry and like he wanted to kill something.

"Gri-"

"Just who the fuck are you?!" Grimmjow suddenly yelled, some passersby stared at the two and whispered to each other thinking it was some kind of lovers' quarrel, which it was.

Ichigo sighed, already seeing that coming. "Grimmjow-"

"No. No, no. no. I get it I'm sorry. You have shit you don't want me to know but fuck yakuza? I find that out at the same time I find out my mum could be a serial killer if she wanted to. Just..." He raised his hands up and everything about him screamed frustration. He simply dropped his arms roughly and groaned before turning around, grabbing Ichigo's hand and started their walk.

Grimmjow didn't say anything after that. He scowled harshly towards the pavement and entwined his and Ichigo's fingers. He was pissed and frustrated and confused and scared and...and he couldn't remember feeling so many things at once and his heart felt like it would explode everywhere and he needed to calm down. There were three things that successfully calmed Grimmjow; Ichigo, fighting and walking for long periods of time. Two of those at the same time would bring forth amazing results.

Ichigo didn't say anything either. He held Grimmjow hands gladly and kept his eyes on his boyfriend, letting the other's feet lead them to wherever. He was nervous, scared even, about Grimmjow's thoughts on the yakuza thing. He wouldn't be surprised if the other said they should break up because really yakuza's just a little too far, well to a regular civilian it is, to Ichigo and Shiro there are worse things. Ichigo wasn't sure how to feel about Grimmjow leaving him. Actually what he was feeling would be a first for him. Abandonment. He felt like he would be left behind or something and the emotion made him frown because he wondered if what he felt was similar to what Grimmjow felt towards his mother. He suddenly felt cold when they had gotten to the shopping district in just Grimmjow's large sweater, sweatpants and sneakers, the bald spot on his head wasn't helping much so he shivered badly.

Grimmjow picked up on it. He stopped, grumbling under his breath about everything turning upside down in his life, as he stood in front of Ichigo, pulled out a black beanie from his jacket's pockets and placing it on Ichigo's head. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around Ichigo's shoulders, not even letting him do the sleeves himself and putting his hands in for him. He then zipped up the jacket, searched his pockets for a scarf and wrapped that around Ichigo's neck, all that with an angry scowl on his face. He didn't mind the weather, frankly feeling warm himself.

Ichigo blushed, suddenly feeling bashful at being mothered even though Grimmjow had been acting that way for months. Grimmjow's hands hadn't left his neck and Ichigo looked up to see Grimmjow glaring into his eyes. Feeling threatened, his response was to glare back.

Grimmjow then closed his eyes and sighed, placing his forehead on the crook of Ichigo's neck and wrapping his arms around the orange head's shoulders.

Ichigo responded by wrapping his own arms around Grimmjow's torso and simply held him under the afternoon sun, well clouds considering they were covering the sun. People were whispering, staring and some were recording and taking pictures but Ichigo couldn't think about all that because Grimmjow was kissing his neck.

"...I'm scared. I'm scared of her Ichigo." He whispered into Ichigo's ear.

Ichigo got angry at hearing that. The whole Cassandra thing just pissed him off to new levels.

He pulled away and grabbed Grimmjow, leading him to a secluded area which was a clean alley between a restaurant and shop.

After making sure they weren't being watched, Ichigo turned to see Grimmjow looking at his open palms looking exhausted.

"I can honestly tell you I don't remember much of what she did to me. Doctors said it was a safety mechanism my fucking brain did to help me cope but I don't know. I remember the worse ones though. The worst of them all still haunts me and I can't go near a pool ever again." Grimmjow told Ichigo, his voice cracking.

"I was nine. I think I was nine anyways. Dad had a meeting in this country called Nigeria and we just had the indoor pool built. I had just learned how to swim too so I was extremely excited to be the first to test it out." He started off as he sat on the ground and leaned against the wall of the alley, not caring if he stained his long sleeved white shirt.

Ichigo sat down beside him, making sure they had contact so that Grimmjow could have some form of comfort.

"My...she bought me only girls clothes. I had to pretty much wear them every time she was home or I got into a lot of trouble. I would hide my boy clothes around the house so when I left the house I could change in bushes or something because if I didn't wear the things she bought me I would get into a lot of trouble. That day...I thought that she had gone for one of her parties. I had no idea so I wore my boy trunks to try out the pool. I was just about to jump into it when she came in looking like I had just killed someone, the female swimming trunks in her tightly closed fist." Grimmjow started shaking and Ichigo grabbed his hand and held unto it tightly, placing butterfly kisses on each of his knuckles.

"...I was...a really small kid. I looked six instead of nine and was really weak too. She...she screamed all kinds of things, all I picked up on was the words 'abomination' or 'unwanted demon', 'I should've aborted you' 'No one could love you', 'You're only good for money, sex and power' and my favorite 'I want you to die'. Imagine hearing that when you're a nine year old child that thought your mother was some beautiful goddess, even though you knew she hated you. I worshiped her and it that was what hurt the most, being told those words over and over again as she dunked my head into the chlorine infested water over and over again. She would scream and scream but all I could hear were those words and all I could smell was chlorine. Even when she had finally just thrown me into the pool and I was drowning, me thinking that the last thing I would see was the distorted image of my mother smiling as I died slowly, I could still hear her words and smell the chlorine. It hurt because even though I knew she hated me secretly but she had never told me before. She had punished me to the point that I have scars all over me from them but she had always lied and said she loved me. I knew she was lying but I liked to pretend it was true. To be loved, that was my childhood dream Ichigo. H-How fucking pathetic is that?!" Grimmjow started sobbing uncontrollably. His eyes filled with the salty liquid and he couldn't stop after that. Ichigo's eyes had watered and he climbed Grimmjow's lap, held him close and let the other break bit by bit on his neck.

Grimmjow broke, it was worse than when Ichigo had woken up on that horrible hospital bed. He didn't care if anyone heard and entered to see them the way they were. He couldn't stop. He sobbed loud and hard, his nose was running and his chest was hurting but he couldn't stop. He could smell chlorine. He could see that pool his father had closed off so, so many years ago. He could remember his mother's wide, crazed eyes screaming at him, letting him know that he would never be loved. That he couldn't ever be loved because he was unwanted, a mistake, a monster. An abomination not even his own mother could love.

He could feel Ichigo heaving and could hear his boyfriend's silent sniffles. Ichigo was squeezing his neck tightly and Grimmjow had no idea why Ichigo was crying as much as he was. Even as he calmed down Ichigo was still sobbing quietly, on hand resting on the back of Grimmjow's head and suddenly Grimmjow felt like such a woman. He's been crying and sobbing just too much in the past few months but he felt better and it was just Ichigo so screw it.

He pulled back when Ichigo's crying turned into mere sniffles and stray tears. He stared at Ichigo who had to bite his bottom lip not to sob anymore. Tears still fell from his bright amber eyes which were surrounded by red skin, dried tear tracks stained his flushed cheeks and his nose was red and running slightly.

Grimmjow blinked the remaining tears in his eyes away. Ichigo was so strong. He didn't let life affect him, even with all the inconveniences he had experienced in his life. The strongest and most powerful person Grimmjow had ever met, powerful enough to destroy all his defenses and gain his respect, admiration and unwavering love that increased every blessed moment they spent together. He was crying for him.

Fuck. The only person that had ever done that was his dad.

"I believed her y'know? I really, honestly believed her that I would never be loved. People would just want me for my looks, my money and my power. I am nothing but a moving doll. I believed her my whole life even if I tried to deny it and pretend nothing affected me. Like I was a powerful King but I was still that drowning boy that wanted death so desperately. I was used to it too and then you just had to show up and prove eighteen years of ideals wrong with your orange hair, bright smile and amber eyes. Damn those beautiful amber eyes." Grimmjow whispered after he lifted his hands and placed them on Ichigo's cheeks, smiling when the other choked on a sob and held unto one of his hands with the hand that was on the back of his head.

"You confused me. Everything about you made me wonder what the fuck was going on. You didn't take my bullshit like everyone did. You didn't just fall for me. Hell you had absolutely no idea who I was and I hated it so much. Here was the one person I wanted to notice me, the one person I wanted to actually just tell me they liked me and he didn't even give me the time of day. I couldn't understand it. I ended up being an asshole and making you hate me and I'm so sorry for that, for treating you horribly but not for our deal because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't even have remembered me the next day if I hadn't" Ichigo laughed a watery laugh at that even as his tears seemed to increase. He was just too frustrated, sad, angry and deliriously, hopelessly and beyond in love with Grimmjow. His emotions reminded him of his mother's when she was pregnant with his sisters.

"Kami Ichigo you changed everything. I started to think, maybe she was right because I honestly thought you, the only person that had been able to make me fall for him, would never even like me for real because yeah I'm a major douche but then you kissed me that night and I had no idea I...I had no idea I could be that happy. I know that this isn't some emotion that would just go away if someone else treated me the way you did because I can't even find anyone else attractive anymore. I think I worship you. Then you told me you love me. Ichigo you...you had given me everything I had ever wanted with those... those words. I'm never letting you go. Fuck I would not be able to Ichigo. If you left me I would stalk you till you took me back out of guilt or fear." Grimmjow told Ichigo with a cheeky grin, no matter how shaky it was.

Ichigo laughed again and made their foreheads rest against each other, he needed to be closer to Grimmjow, he needed to make sure the other never felt unloved ever again because Ichigo loved him, he would always love the asshole he was sitting on.

"Ichigo...My precious Berry. I don't really care what you were or what you have done. You could've been a murderer and I can honestly say I don't care. I don't care what anyone else says because I know you. I know who you really are and I'm so crazy in love with you. You could tell me right now you're a serial killer and I would still love you. It's fucked up and I possibly need to see a therapist but it's just the truth. Just...just don't leave me and I know I can take on anything. Even my mother. The one monster I could never stop being afraid of." Grimmjow mumbled as he tilted his head up, his eyes soft and open and a kind smile on his handsome face.

Ichigo had to place a hand over his chest and squeeze to try and calm his rapidly beating heart. It was too much. Damn was it too much. Grimmjow loved him more than he thought someone other than Shiro could, fuck Ichigo was close to thinking he even loved him more than his brother did but regretted the thought and threw it out of his mind. Grimmjow placed his free hand against Ichigo's own, over the orange head's beating heart and Ichigo felt like he might lose all semblances of composure if Grimmjow said anything else.

"You told me yesterday that you aren't an angel. That you're not some perfect person that fell from heaven. Ichigo you took away my pain, you gave me love, you let my dreams come true, you forgive me, you wipe my tears away, you're always there beside me when I need you, you pick me up when I'm down, you knock sense right back into me, you let me know when I'm wrong without any fear and...and do not make fun of me for how cheesy this is gonna sound cause I will kill you, and you light up my fucking life Ichigo. If you aren't really an angel then whatever the fuck are you? You said I treat you like you're worth something. Ichigo Kurosaki you're worth everything! Fuck I can't even think of anymore words to describe how much I love you!" Grimmjow growled, genuinely annoyed with himself that he couldn't go on. He was on a roll and who knew the next time he would be able to actually say the right things.

His eyes widened when he felt soft lips against his own. He looked to see Ichigo kissing him tenderly with his eyes closed. He closed his eyes and kissed back.

Ichigo parted his lips, letting Grimmjow do as he pleased. Grimmjow happily let himself get lost in the kiss that he could feel through every part of his body. His tongue and Ichigo's went through an elaborate dance and the sound of Ichigo's gasps were making Grimmjow's hairs stand on end with electrifying excitement.

The orange head's arms were holding his face gently as they made out passionately, Grimmjow wasn't sure what was going on, in an alley of all places, but his body wouldn't really let him stop. He used his left hand to hold the back of Ichigo's head and pull him closer because it just didn't feel like it was enough. His other hand had gone under Ichigo's sweater and he could feel those abs and their scars. He whimpered like a kitten when Ichigo's back arched and he moaned into Grimmjow's mouth.

Then Ichigo pulled back, making Grimmjow whine in annoyance then sigh with relief because he knew he couldn't have done so himself. He opened his eyes and whined again because with the crying and make out session Ichigo looked even more fuckable than usual.

They both panted against their lips and Grimmjow couldn't remove his hand from Ichigo's naked hips. His fingers couldn't stop caressing the flesh either and he found it so fascinating when Ichigo couldn't stop his hips from rocking forward to try and find some kind of friction, the shorter teen closing his eyes and biting his bruised lip to stop himself from making any sound but his body shivered from Grimmjow's touch.

"I love you Grimmjow...I will always love you. We'd fight like crazy...Ah!~" Grimmjow had unconsciously moved his hand to Ichigo's trail when the other had started talking and he gave the panting Ichigo and apologetic look but moved his hand back to Ichigo's hip, not wanting to lose the contact at all.

"We...we'd fight...we'd probably even break up a few times, con-considering who we are but I will always come back to you because I know I won't ever stop loving you." Grimmjow beamed at the other's words and hugged him close, finally releasing Ichigo from the teasing.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. Ichigo broke the comfortable silence by getting up and pulling Grimmjow up as well. Both not really caring who saw them coming out of an alley with the way they looked, they walked out and headed back to Ichigo's home, hand in hand.

They walked side by side in silence, both with small smiles on their faces and were leaning against each other.

Ichigo started humming a song Grimmjow knew well. It was the one he had sang to Ichigo back in that music room and Grimmjow's smile widened as he hummed with Ichigo.

They looked absolutely horrible. Both looked like they had been crying for hours, Grimmjow's shirt was covered with brown splotched of dirt on the back as well as the bottom of his and Ichigo's pants, Ichigo's hat looked awkward and everyone could see the scar. Nobody mistook them for the teenage power couple, not even with Grimmjow's noticeable blue hair, they just saw them as two gross wannabe teenagers copying the celebrities.

Grimmjow saw Ichigo as the most attractive and beautiful human being to ever exist and Ichigo thought Grimmjow would forever be as glorious to look at as any king, real or not.

Really, what else mattered?

Yo!

Update and Love it! So I'm in love withe the Suicide Squad movie. Who else?!

Sorry it took me so long to update. Mum finally got us a new house to move to so it's taking a lot of work. Sorry if this wasn't all that good but I just watched Hetalia and I'm sad because they're just five minute episodes! Not fucking fair! Give me more Germany!

Sorry for that.

Please review guys! MOTIVATION! I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU ALL! MWAH!

Ciao from,

Grimmjowislife.