Hello, friends! Firstly, thank you all SO MUCH for the kind words and PMs after my author's note last chapter. Seriously - you all are so kind and wonderful! I do wish I could update faster than this. I have woken up an hour early a few times in the last couple of weeks, just to find some time to write. Bear with me - we'll get this whole story told!
But really, THANK YOU!
Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Diaries.
His head was throbbing.
Last night, his decision to go to the next town over to drink with Klaus seemed like a good one, given the family dinner he had just left. Today though, he was proven wrong. Ever since his accident, he couldn't recover from a hangover quite the same, and not nearly as quickly.
Sitting at the bar in his postage stamp of a kitchen, his head in his hands, he debated his next move. Every way he looked at his current situation, he didn't have an answer. He didn't want to see Elena. He didn't want to see his family. He didn't know what to say to any of them. He wanted – needed – space from all of them. But, he wanted to see Molly.
Or, at least, he thought he did.
The night before, while he was waiting around for family dinner, he had no doubts that he wanted to be a father to Molly. To consider the alternative was ridiculous. She was his little girl and she needed him. But in the morning light, sitting at his bar and nursing a hangover, his doubts returned. He didn't know the first thing about being a parent. He was barely managing to take care of himself, as exhibited by his current state. Elena could do the parenting thing. She was made for it. But him, he was too selfish.
Deciding to be in Molly's life would change everything. He would have responsibilities he wasn't prepared for. He would be forced to interact with Elena. And, he reasoned, he would have to interact with his parents. It was going to be hard enough, driving for Giuseppe. He didn't necessarily know that he wanted to run into the man at dance recitals and school plays, whatever events being a parent required him to attend.
It was in that moment that he realized he was alone. Every person he cared about had betrayed him. He knew he wasn't innocent. He had a laundry list of mistakes, things he owed people apologies for. But, the act of keeping a child from him canceled out everything he had done, as far as he was concerned. Keeping a child from him was a lot worse than him opting to drive for another team
He was lost in his thoughts, which were angry, for now, but given how things were going with him lately, could shift to guilt at any moment, when he heard the sound of keys in his lock. He had barely turned his head in the direction of his door when it swung open. Ginny Salvatore let herself in and shut the door behind her with a bit more force than was necessary. Damon groaned.
"Whatever apology you are here to make, I don't want to hear it right now," he stated. He wasn't in the mood to deal with his mother. He knew she wouldn't back down, wouldn't take no for an answer. Ginny didn't reply. She reached into her large tote and pulled out a thick folder. She dropped it on the bar in front of him.
"I'll save that part for later, then," she stated. Damon raised an eyebrow. "I have a few things to say to you." Damon raised an eyebrow, ready for a challenge.
"I thought I made it clear last night that I wanted space…"
"Oh, you most certainly made your point," Ginny said. "But, your pushing us away at the dinner table was quite ineffective. You completely disowned us four years ago when you took off for Daytona without a backwards glance. The only thing you served to prove last night is the fact that despite being nearly 30 years old, you have an awful lot of growing up to do."
"I took a job," Damon said firmly, remembering the day he told his parents he was leaving Salvatore Racing, effective immediately. "You all acted like I committed a felony for taking a job."
"You know your father and I would never begrudge you an opportunity," Ginny said. "Even if you weren't ready, and your father knew it, he would have still supported you. It's how you handled it that we didn't like. We will have to reserve that particular part of our history for another day, however." She opened the folder. "We're going to discuss the fact that you have a daughter."
"Now you want to talk about Molly," Damon stated.
"I do," Ginny retorted. She pointed to the stack of papers. "It took me hours to pull all of this together, but in this pile, you will find the phone records from the weeks and weeks that we tried to call you. Our calls to you are highlighted in yellow." She shifted through the papers, some of which were almost entirely yellow. "And here are the emails we sent. You'll notice the phone calls stop sharply. We accepted after many recordings that the number we had for you had, in fact, been disconnected." Damon sighed.
"Why are you showing me all of this?" he asked. He didn't doubt that they had tried to contact him.
"Because you need to see it!" Ginny cried, her voice raising. "You need to see how desperate we were to talk to you. We weren't calling just to tell you you had a baby on the way! We were calling to hear your voice! To know you were okay! Let me tell you something, Damon. It might be hard for you to realize that you have a little girl that was kept from you. But until the day I die, I will swear it's far harder to know you have a child and not be able to speak to them, know they are okay, not even know where they are."
Damon didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. She had a fair point. It was hard for him to find out he had a child that had been kept from him. But, it had to be hard for her too, the way he shut her out when he left Mystic Falls.
"You're angry and hurt, Damon. I understand that. So does your father, your brother, Caroline. But, you have been given something precious. You have been given the chance to be a father to that incredible little girl. I have seen you with her, Damon. You already love her."
"I barely know her," Damon shot back.
"You have a chance to get to know her," Ginny replied calmly. "You have a chance to be her daddy. You have been wandering through life, driving fast cars, drinking alcohol, doing drugs when the mood strikes. You got a second chance when you lived through Talladega. Don't you dare waste it, Damon."
With that, Ginny turned and left the apartment. She took her key – which Damon had no idea how she got in the first place – with her.
He didn't know why he was there.
He could have chosen anywhere else to spend his afternoon. He could be anywhere other than the Salvatore Racing shop. Yet, he had shown up right on time for a workout with Enzo, attended a meeting as scheduled, and now, instead of going anywhere where he wasn't likely to run into a family member or Elena, he was mulling around the shop, swapping out spark plugs on the car he would drive at Atlanta. His crew was reviewing data from Daytona and last year's races at Atlanta to finalize his car's set up, leaving him to his own devices.
He had crossed paths with Stefan almost as soon as he set foot in the building. After several awkward moments, Stefan opened his mouth to start what sounded like an apology, but Damon cut him off with a sharp "don't" and went about his business. He came face to face with Giuseppe in his meeting, but his father had the good sense to keep his head down, only addressing him when it was necessary for business purposes. They were all walking on eggshells.
He popped a spark plug out and rolled it between his fingers absentmindedly. His mother's words about second chances floated back into his head. Her words hadn't been far from his mind since her departure from his apartment yesterday as he considered the fact that she was right – he did have a second chance. He just had to figure out how to use it. Blowing out a frustrated breath, he tossed the used spark plug in a discard bin. That's when he saw her.
Molly was standing on the edge of the shop, carefully treading the painted line that ran around the floor, signaling where it was safe for visitors to stand, out of harm's way from the hustle and bustle of the shop. He had a feeling she had been lectured on that line, told where she was safe to stand when in the shop and where she couldn't be.
She stared him down, her bright blue eyes matching his. Her little hand was in her mouth, chewing on her fingers. He had noticed she did that when she was nervous or being bashful. He remembered baby photos of Elena doing the same thing. He felt his heartstrings tug. She was his, no matter what else was going on. Her eyes floated to the car and he understood then.
"You want to see?" he asked, nodding towards the car. Slowly, Molly nodded. "Come on, then," he said, jerking his head for her to come over to where he stood. Molly didn't hesitate. Even as she ran, her footsteps were light, graceful. That was Elena, too.
"Hi," she said softly. He smiled.
"Hey," he replied, squatting down to her level. He just looked at her for several long moments, taking her in. She was beautiful, as close to perfect as a little girl could be. She looked so much like him, but he could see Elena in her too. The way she stood, her smile, her more olive skin tone – that was all Elena.
"You want to see the car?" he asked again. Molly nodded once more. Damon tilted his head towards it. "Go check it out." Molly spared him a smile before timidly stepping over to the car.
He watched as she placed her tiny hand on the front fender. She let her fingertips run over it, studying the sponsor's stickers strategically placed along it in accordance to how much they had paid in sponsorship fees. She touched the tire next, glanced over her shoulder at Damon to make sure it was okay for her to continue. He gave her an encouraging nod, just watching her. She took a few more steps along the car, her hand still dragging along it. She stood on her tiptoes, trying to see into the car through its window.
"I not see," she said, glancing at Damon.
Without hesitation, Damon went to her. He lifted her up so she could peer in through the window. She placed her hands on the frame, gazing at the intricate cockpit. An idea hit him. "Want to sit in it?" he asked. She looked at him sharply, her eyes big with excitement.
"Can I?" she asked. He scooped her up against his chest, then guided her small body through the window, settling her in his seat. She beamed at him and then looked around, her hands careful even when she touched his gear shift. "There's no wheel," she finally said. Damon disappeared from the window and returned a moment later with his steering wheel.
"Sit back," he directed Molly. He guided the steering wheel through the window and attached it to the column, just as his crew would do for him on race day. "There you go." Molly giggled and moved to her knees, pretending to drive. He chuckled as she made "vroom, vroom!" sounds, pretending to race. Without really thinking about it, he reached into his pocket for his phone and snapped a few photos of her. As he pocketed the phone once more, it became real to him.
He had a daughter.
He had no business with a child. He wasn't a role model, no matter how often fans told him otherwise. He did the wrong thing at least half the time. He could barely manage to heat up a can of ravioli in the microwave, and the only thing he knew how to actually cook was a grilled cheese, which he burned more often than not. He smoked when he was stressed out. He turned to bourbon when things went sour. He drove a race car for a living, and if he didn't do well this season, he might not have a job next season. But, he had a daughter. Regardless of how completely unprepared and unqualified he was to be a father, he couldn't turn his back on Molly. She was his little girl. She needed him to be her father.
A door opened and closed somewhere in the shop. Instinctively, he looked towards the sound to find Elena, once more looking frantic.
"She's here," he called to her. Elena looked relieved for a moment, before apprehension settled over her features as she approached Damon.
"I gave her permission to go to Caroline's office," she said. "It's two doors down from me. Somehow, she ended up on a whole other floor." She reached Damon, the car between them. She didn't see Molly, however, and looked at Damon. "Where is she?" Damon tilted his head towards the car. Elena peered in through the other side. She couldn't help but smile slightly at the site of Molly pretending to drive the race car, not a care in the world.
"She does that a lot, doesn't she?" Damon asked. "Sneak off, I mean?" Elena nodded, her guard up. The fact that Damon was being cordial was a red flag. He had always had a temper and she was waiting for it to make its appearance now that they were once more in the same room together.
"She's curious," Elena said. "I have done everything I can think of to punish her, make her understand she's wrong and how dangerous her wandering off can be. But, she does it anyway. She's stubborn." Like her dad, Elena added to herself.
"Guess she gets it honest," Damon muttered. He himself was implying that Elena was the stubborn one. "How does she wander off? Aren't people supposed to be watching her?" Elena bristled. Who was Damon to suddenly be questioning her parenting?
"I do the best I can," she informed him. "Being a single parent that works full-time – more than full-time – isn't exactly easy. I don't let her out of my sight intentionally, Damon. I would never…"
"Easy," Damon said, holding his hands up. "I'm not questioning your parenting ability. You've clearly done a great job with her. I'm just… Well, I'm just trying to figure all of this out." He waved his hand between him and Molly to emphasis his point. Elena took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. She reminded herself that this was hard for him, learning that he had a daughter, trying to figure out how to be a parent, if he wanted to be a parent at all. "I jumped to conclusions." Damon shrugged.
"Like I said before, people tend to do that around me." Elena sighed, not really sure what to say. She understood that it frustrated Damon that people automatically assumed the worst about him. But, she also knew he had done it to himself.
"I'm sorry," she said again. Damon didn't bother responding. He stepped towards the car.
"Did you win?" he asked Molly, leaning down so he could peer into the window. She smiled brightly, her hair once more pulled back by a big bow. Today, it was blue.
"Yep!" she said happily. "I beat Jeff!" Damon chuckled.
"Good job," he told her. "But, Speed Racer, I think it's time for you to go back upstairs with your mom." He had expected Molly to fight him, to throw another temper tantrum like she did the day it snowed. Instead, she held her arms out to him. He reached in and helped her through the window. Instead of placing her on her feet, he kept her in his arms.
"That was fun!" she exclaimed.
"Glad you liked it," he said. He didn't want to put her down. He caught sight of Elena, standing awkwardly by, watching. "Looks like you slipped away from your mom again," he said to Molly. She tried to look innocent, sticking out her bottom lip and letting her eyes grow big and innocent.
"I get lost," she said.
"Did you?" Damon countered, raising an eyebrow at her. Molly looked at him for a moment before shaking her head.
"I wanna see the cars," she admitted.
"You can't take off like that, kiddo," he told her in a firm voice.
"I not sneak away at the race again!" Molly interjected.
"You didn't," Damon agreed, assuming she was telling the truth, that she hadn't sneaked away again while they were in Daytona. "But, you can't sneak away, period. Grown ups need to know where you are. If you were supposed to go to Caroline's office, then that's where you should have gone."
"Okay," Molly said softly, looking down.
"Your mom worries when she can't find you," Damon continued. Elena looked on, dumbfounded at how easy Damon was with Molly, disciplining her in a gentle manner that seemed to be getting through to her. "Just – don't sneak off, okay?"
"Okay," Molly said again, still looking down.
"Hey," Damon prodded. He held her in one arm and used his now free one to gently tickle her side. She giggled. "You're not in trouble, okay? We just want you to stay safe. No more running off, deal?"
"Deal," Molly nodded. Damon tickled her again, getting a giggle out of her, before he begrudgingly put her down. She skipped over to Elena. "Mama! Day-mun let me drive da car!"
"I saw!" Elena replied, mustering up enthusiasm for Molly's benefit as she squatted down to her daughter's level. "Did you like it?"
"I loved it!" Molly said, bouncing in place. Elena chuckled. She noticed Damon standing there, looking on as though he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do next. Elena reached out and straightened Molly's bow, catching a glimpse at the time as she did so.
"We should get going," she said to Molly. "You have ballet, and we still have to get you changed."
"Oh! Dance class!" Molly exclaimed excitedly. "Come on, Mama!" She took Elena's hand and tugged her towards the door, making Elena laugh.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," she said. She glanced at Damon who was still watching them. "Tell Damon goodbye, and thank you." Molly turned to him.
"Thank you, Day-mun!" she said. "Bye!" Elena watched as Damon's eyes softened and small smile formed on his lips.
"Anytime, princess," he said. Elena caught the look of surprise that crossed Damon's features as he realized he had addressed Molly with a term of endearment. "You looked good in that car." Molly smiled at him before tugging on Elena's hand again.
"Come on, Mama! I gots dance!"
"All right, let's go," Elena agreed. She gave Damon what she hoped was a friendly smile before turning away with Molly.
"Elena."
Elena stopped and closed her eyes for a moment. She hated that even now, Damon saying her name still had an effect on her. She turned to him expectantly. His gaze pierced her.
"We need to talk."
She nodded. "We do," she agreed softly.
"Tonight."
He wasn't asking, she realized. She took a deep breath as she nodded again. She wasn't ready for this, but she had put this off for more than three years. It was time to have this conversation.
"8:00?" she asked.
"Meet me at The Grill," Damon stated, all business. Elena shook her head.
"You're going to have to come to my place," she told him. "Molly will be in bed and I don't have a babysitter." Damon nodded, thinking he should have considered Molly into the equation. That was the sort of thing a father did, take their kid into consideration.
"I'll be there," he confirmed.
"Mama!" Molly whined, tugging on her arm once more.
"We're going," Elena promised. "Bye, Damon."
"See you tonight," he replied.
Elena led Molly to the door, half listening as Molly babbled on about Damon's race car and her dance class. A heavy feeling settled in her stomach. Tonight she would tell Damon everything. She had no idea what would happen after that.
That whole "second changes" thing is going to really be a theme throughout all of this, don't you think? So is Damon trying to figure out his anger vs. his guilt about everything that is happening to him, on top with trying to figure out this parenthood thing and, dare I say it, this whole Elena thing.
Up next, we start dealing with the parenthood thing.
Please let me know what you think!
