Chapter 45
"We are having... what?!"
"We're having a baby!" Kenna repeated, smiling.
The shock in her future husband's face was clearly visible. And she didn't know, whether it had been a mistake to tell him about the baby. She pulled her blanket up to cover her nakedness. She wished she was dressed. She would feel much better prepared for that discussion.
"How long have you known?"
She felt her heartbeat increasing. That was exactly the question, she would like to dodge. She suspected that Bash wouldn't be happy, when he learned that she had already been pregnant when she rushed to Scotland. And, although three years had passed, she didn't believe that he had changed that much, that he wouldn't reproach her for her hasty action.
"I told you, it happened the night before you left with Mary for England." she said quietly.
Bash eyes widened. "That was several weeks ago!" he exclaimed shocked. „Probably five or six weeks, I guess."
Kenna nodded. She put her hand gently on his arm and noticed, how stiff he suddenly became. "Bash, I... I know I should have told you earlier."
He sat up, and her hand slid from his arm. "Yes, you could have sent a message, for example." he answered drily.
"This is no message to be sent by a delivery boy!" Kenna rolled her eyes. "This is a personal matter!" she quoted Nostradamus.
Bash jumped out of the bed and grabbed his clothes. "Was that the reason why you followed me to Scotland? You wanted to tell my about the baby?" He looked at her with a piercing glance.
Kenna felt herself blush. No, she thought. That was not the reason. The reason was, that I was afraid to lose you to Mary. I traveled to Scotland, to spy on you. She cleared her throat because it was suddenly dry. Oh, how she hated these lies!
"Well... yes. What other reason could I have had otherwise?"
"You were ready to risk your life and that of your unborn child, only to tell me that you're pregnant?"
She closed her eyes. She could no longer bear his piercing look. And to hear it from his mouth, made it worse. "I... I did not know that it was dangerous. I didn't know about the pillages and the raids." She turned her head to the side. "Please do not look at me like that!"
„Like what?"
She sighed. „Reproachfully and doubting."
"I know when you're lying." he said quietly. "You told me that you were jealous of Mary." He leaned down to her and cupped her chin. "You didn't travel to Scotland to tell me about the baby, did you? You followed me, because you were afraid, that I would cheat on you with Mary. Am I right?"
Kenna felt how tears came into her eyes. She recalled her conversation with Lola back then, before she left for Scotland.
"I hate her!"
"They continue their journey to Scotland?"
"Isn't it awesome? It was not enough that they stayed an entire month in England to discuss the political and military situation with Elizabeth. Now they are going to make holidays in Scotland!"
"You're just upset because you're jealous."
"I'm not jealous!"
Bash doesn't know why you want him to come home."
"And I won't tell him. That's for sure. How could I be so foolish and sleep with him, when I was fully aware of the consequences!
„Just calm down!They will probably only stay a few more days until they come back."
"He will have to decide. Either Mary or me!"
"You actually believe, that Mary is plotting against you?"
"I wished I'm wrong, but the evidence is overwhelming. There is only one way to find out whether I'm right..."
"And what would that be?"
"Very simple. I travel to Scotland!"
"I'm waiting for your answer!" Bash tapped with his foot on the floor, impatiently.
"I trusted you, but not her!" she confessed finally. „And yes, I followed you, because I was afraid to lose you!"
Bash had finished dressing in the meantime and stared at her with and incredulous look. "You really think, that I am so weak, that I would fall for her again, even though I had confessed my love and promised you to come back to you?"
"I'm sorry, Bash!" Kenna lowerd her head, guiltily. "I know now, that it was stupid to be jealous. I should have trusted you more!"
"Trust..." he murmured and nodded thoughtfully. "The three basic pillars of marriage. Trust, respect and love. How shall we have a good marriage, if we cannot trust each other?"
"But I trust you!" Kenna said desperately. "And I talked to Mary. It was just a stupid misunderstanding! It was never her intention to take you away from me."
Bash nodded. "This stupid misunderstanding, as you call it, had almost cost your and our baby's life!"
She knew that he was right. And that was the reason, why the accusation affected her deeply. She slowly rose from the bed and slipped on her nightgown. When she stepped to him, she saw the anger and disappointment in his face. It was like three years ago, she thought. At that time, he had accused her that she tried to trick him. This time, he was disappointed that she trusted him not enough. And though she could understand his reasons to be disapointed, she could not risk to lose him again. She reached for his arm.
"Bash, please! Don't let this come between us!" she begged.
But he stepped back and went to the door. "Not now, Kenna! I need... fresh air."
And with these words, he left her alone.