Chapter Sixty Eight

Jasper

I decided the only thing to do was to take Bella back to the last place she had been really happy, the apartment, and hope that seeing familiar surroundings and feeling safe inside those surroundings with no one coming in and out maybe I could get through to her. Charlie having been shocked by her response to his words was only too happy to agree to this and I promised as soon as I made any headway with her I would contact him and ask Esme or Rose to visit and talk to Bella. Sooner or later she was going to have to confront what that bastard had done to her and the death of Renee and Phil, not to mention the poor girl who died giving birth to the baby Rose was now looking after.

Carlisle arranged for the plane and I kept Bella asleep as we flew home to Seattle and drove her to the apartment. Once I carried her up and made her comfortable in the chair by the fire I allowed her to wake naturally hoping she wouldn't be so scared and disorientated if she woke in familiar surroundings. Then I sat opposite and watched praying that when she opened her eyes she would recognize something, a picture a piece of furniture or maybe even me. Time seemed to drag by until finally she began to stir stretching her legs and then sitting up slowly and then she opened her eyes and looked around.

Bella

I had fallen asleep, the last thing I remembered was the voice of my daddy telling me I was safe but I wasn't safe, I would never be safe again. There was nowhere I could call home, nowhere I could hide from my own wickedness or the nightmares that haunted my sleeping hours. When I opened my eyes I wasn't sure where I was, it wasn't the room I had fallen asleep in, this was bigger and more airy and it seemed vaguely familiar although I couldn't place it. Sitting opposite me was the same man who had rescued me and then stayed in the other room with me and he too looked as if he belonged here, in these surroundings.

I decided to try a question and see if he would answer me without getting mad like…...

"Where are we?"

I cowered slightly as he leaned forward in his chair and I saw a flicker of pain in his eyes although I didn't understand why.

"This is home Bella, don't you remember?"

Home? Whose home? It had looked familiar but when I thought about home right now all I could see was that cellar, all I could hear was the clinking of my chain as I moved, all I could smell was the overflowing bucket and the stench of unwashed bodies.

"Look I'll leave you to look around, see if anything seems familiar. I'm just going out to get you something to eat. What would you like?"

I didn't answer him, I couldn't think of anything to say so he had just smiled and nodded his head,

"Never mind, I know what you like. Make yourself comfortable Bella, it's your home too. Don't be afraid to look around, do whatever you want."

I waited until he'd gone listening for the sound of a key in the look but hearing nothing. I gave him a few minutes then got up and went to the door turning the knob cautiously. The door opened and I looked out. The corridor was empty, I wasn't locked in!

I shut it again as quietly as I could and stood looking at my surroundings. He had said I could look round so I moved tentatively to the first door and pushed it open to see a gleaming kitchen, not a thing out of place, but something caught my eye. Draped over the oven door was a brightly colored apron and it struck a cord, looked vaguely familiar but how could I have been here? It was too clean, too beautiful.

I shut the door again very softly then tried another, this led into a huge bathroom with a walk in shower and I wondered how it would feel to be clean, to smell good, and to wrap one of the huge fluffy towels around myself. Perhaps I could ask if I could use it when he got back, I hadn't done anything bad, nothing to upset him so maybe he would let me. I didn't think he would hit me, he said he loved me but how could someone like him want a dreadful, wicked thing like me? It didn't make any sense and I was so bad, I even looked it having caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. I didn't recognize myself but it was me, I touched my cheek just to be sure and the reflection did the same.

I hurried out unable to bear the sight any longer but the memory of the hag I had seen stayed with me and I fingered the rags I was wearing. The last door led into a bedroom, a warm inviting space and I found myself drawn inside. The bed was made ready and on the cabinet was a photograph. I went over and picked it up, wiping my fingers on my pants first although that didn't help clean them and I saw smudges of dirt on the glass as I touched it. There were two people in the picture standing together. It was him, well it was his place so I guess that was only right. He had his arm around a girl, a pretty dark haired girl who was looking up at him. She looked so happy and contented that it made my chest ache.

Hearing the outer door open I put the photograph down quickly and went back into the other room trying to look as if I hadn't been snooping. He smiled at me, the same smile as the one in the picture and I tried not to hunch up as he approached but he went past and into the kitchen.

"Would you like to eat out here or at the dining table?"

I rushed into the kitchen to join him, my ankles throbbing to remind me of the chains that had kept me prisoner.

"Here is fine."

He pulled out a tall stool and I sat down carefully watching as he put out a knife and fork and napkin for me then slid out several containers onto the counter and handed me a plate.

"Shall I?"

I wasn't sure what he meant so I just nodded and he dished up some of the contents then put it in front of me. I hesitated but it seemed he wasn't going to join me. Was all this for me? When I didn't start to eat he looked concerned,

"Is there something wrong Bella?"

I shook my head and started to eat hurriedly, afraid he might snatch the plate away at any moment.

Jasper

Well she hadn't run when I left her, I had wondered but I knew locking her in would be a bad move but I was as fast as I could and now I watched sadly as she ate, using her fingers and ignoring the cutlery, as if scared I might take the food away from her. Then thinking about that cellar I understood, food had been sparing and probably not regular so she wanted to eat before it was gone, taken by someone else. It was probably the first hot meal she had since I watched her leave on vacation. I would always blame myself for what happened, I should have known, I should have followed her and not flown off to have fun with the family.

As she scraped the last few grains of rice from the plate I offered her more and she looked at me puzzled.

"I got you some apple fritters, I know you like them."

She sat not speaking just watching me so I put one in a dish and slid it over to her. I turned to get her spoon but then saw her scooping it out with her fingers and licking the syrup leaving cleaner patches on her hands and her chin as she wiped it with a ragged sleeve. I had to persuade her to take a shower but I didn't want to frighten her, I would have to be patient and gentle although that wouldn't be difficult, I loved her so much.