She was familiar with medical facilities, though none had been ancient military hospitals. The room was not much more than three boxy bio-beds surrounded by dull grey shelving and the bulge of an ancient console. Juliette wondered if she had become part of some diorama, and she looked for the open wall and stream of visitors, eating their snacks and gawking at the only Betazoid on Vulcan as they strolled by. But she was an exhibit without an audience.

Her fingers traced the triangular bruise that started at her neck and came to a point at her collarbone. The top of her hand was mottled in bruises. Each attempt to move her stiff fingers caused a fresh twinge of pain.

A Vulcan woman holding a tray strode into the room. She was the oldest Vulcan Juliette had seen - her fading hair framed a deeply lined face. Even her ears were creased and wrinkled, and her nose was crooked a little to the left.

The Vulcan grasped under her chin with cold, bony fingers. Juliette flinched and pulled back as far as the bed would allow, her gaze stubbornly downturned. The motion caused a sharp twinge in her neck that burned.

"Stop," the Vulcan said and forced her gloved hands into Juliette's vision. "These will prevent any contact." Juliette relented, wincing as her head was tilted and turned. Their eyes met. Juliette felt a solid wall behind the Vulcan's slate gaze.

"The metacarpophalangeal joints of your first and fourth fingers were dislocated, but have been reset. You should refrain from using your hand. The marks from the nerve-pinch will get darker, then fade. Betazoids bruise easily."

The Vulcan took the tray from the shelf and placed it in Juliette's lap. She looked down at a small collection of ramekins and a cup of a green liquid. Juliette took a tentative sip and found it to be a tart fruit juice. Two other bowls held different types of berries while another held tepid gruel. Juliette was so hungry, she didn't care how tasteless it was. When the bowl halfway finished, she remembered her manners.

"I'm Juliette."

The Vulcan did not look up from her work. "I'm aware of that. I am P'mera."

"Is T'Mar alright?"

"She will heal. Perhaps this will be a lesson to her that she should not be wandering about when she's supposed to be resting."

"Please tell her I am very sorry."

P'mera's busied herself at the console, her lips pressed so tight to almost disappear. "I see no reason to convey your feelings of regret. Such emotion is closer to the cause of her current injury than its prevention."

Juliette used the silence to ensure the ramekins were empty, then asked, "What about my family? They are waiting for me at the holo-projector."

"You have been unconscious for over a day. That connection has been long since been closed."

Juliette felt the gruel sour in her stomach at the thought her family gone. Couldn't they have waited, even for a day? "Did they say anything?"

"They insisted that you contact them when you are able."

"I'm able now," Juliette said, forcing herself upright.

P'mera pushed her back. "You are not. You will be assigned a cell in the women's wing and duties like any other novice. Besides, they will not be back to your home planet for several days."

Her home planet. Not even Betazed. Wherever she came from. Some star. Out there. Definitely not here.

When she determined Juliette was suitably decent, Surot was allowed to visit. His hands were buried in the sleeves of his robe as he regarded her, his gaze flicking to the bruise on her neck.

"Your condition is greatly improved," he said. "Your efforts are to be commended, P'mera."

P'mera swooped the tray away from Juliette. "I have supplies to organize."

After she left, Juliette said, "I did not mean to offend her."

"She is not offended - no more than usual."

Juliette couldn't tell if he was joking. A Vulcan, joke? "May I speak to my parents?"

"They will be back on Betazed in five point four five days. I'm sure it will be their first priority to make such arrangements. You should focus on your recovery. It is best to get you into a routine. To do so, we must assign you to a group of novices. You will share a cell section with them and live within their schedule of meditation, labor and learning. Our methods of education are different, but your level of scholarship seems comparable. I will tutor you in meditative techniques. Do you feel well enough to walk?"

Juliette nodded. Surot rose and quietly waited in the hallway. P'mera returned with a simple cream chinton and ochre scapular; both which flowed down to her ankles, and a pair of thin-strapped sandals.

Juliette paused in dressing and ran her hands through her hair. Its shape felt strange. "Is there a mirror?"

"One does not keep Master Surot waiting," P'mera said as she tugged the shoulders of the tunic into place and with a nod dismissed Juliette. She fled to the hallway and wished the sleeves of the chinton were longer to hide her injured hand. Master Surot briefly looked her over, turned without a word, and proceeded down the hallway with long strides. The hallway was far brighter than when she had arrived, and as she peered down its length she saw other robed figures traversing the halls.

"Did P'nem tell you the history of this monastery?"

"Danek said it was once a fortress."

"He is correct. It is still a fortress, and has been since before the Time of Awakening.

"What is the Time of Awakening?"

Master Surok stopped at a doorway that made a grinding sound as it slid open, revealing a small alcove. The floor bounced slightly as they stepped inside. He pressed a button. Juliette snatched at the handrail as the elevator lurched downward.

"I am surprised Danek did not tell you. It is a time when Surak led us away from a savage existence and toward rational thought and emotional mastery. The path of Kolinahr."

"Kol-"

"The state one achieves when all emotion has been purged. It is a way and a destination."

Juliette was quiet as the floor bounced to a stop and the door opened again. "No emotion? Not even love?"

"Of course. Love can be just as destructive as any other powerful emotion."

"But I love my family."

"One can respect and revere their family without enduring the sentiment of love."

"That's not the same."

"It is not. It is better. We will discuss this more later. It is important to get to know the monastery. It has twenty levels, with several sub-levels. The top five levels are for those on the way of Kolinahr and facilities for those that visit the summit - first aid for those that are not ready for the Plain of Blood, mostly, and those that are visit to rest or meditate. Level six through fourteen are for education and study. Your lessons will be on level ten through twelve, and you will reside in the women's wing on fifteen. Not all that visit the monastery are Vulcans and not even all Vulcans are Kolinahr masters. Therefore, you should not venture above level ten until you have some control over your abilities. Your fellow novices are disciplined, and practice Kolinahr every day, so they should pose no threat, provided you do not touch them."

Juliette rubbed her bruised hand.

Surot wheeled about and strode down a different hall. As he passed, Vulcans stopped and bowed toward him, while giving her a wide distance. Juliette was surprised to see T'Mar as they turned another corner and was unsure whether to greet her or not. She bowed to Master Surot. Her eyes were pink and bloodshot - symptoms Juliette knew well.

"This is a women's wing," he said. "T'Mar will take you from here to your cell, and will assist in your acclimation."

Juliette tried to bow with the same grace as T'Mar, but the motion felt unnatural. Betazoids touched hands, or kissed on the cheek, or hugged. T'Mar glided down the corridor. Juliette hurried to catch up.

T'Mar stopped in front of a doorway. "This is your room. Put your hand here."

Juliette put her hand on the wall plate by the door. A green line moved up and down the plate. The door rumbled open.

The room was a rectangular box with a sleeping mat, trunk and light. A kneeling stool was along the wall, along with a short table. Juliette slowly paced the perimeter of the room.

"This seems," Juliette groped for a word. "functional."

"The purpose of the room is rest and meditation. It is well-suited for those tasks."

"What about-"

"Facilities are shared."

Juliette swallowed, fumbling for the words. "I wanted to convey how sor- I wanted to convey my regrets that you were injured."

"I, too, regret that my actions led to our injury. I will not touch you again."

"Your eyes should heal in a few days. At least mine do."

"So P'Mera has informed me."

Juliette smiled; T'Mar did not.

Juliette laughed nervously and ran her fingers through her hair. Her hair felt wrong. Very wrong. "T'Mar, does my hair look different?"

"Of course. Your hair was cut while you were-"

"Please, I really need a mirror."

T'Mar stared for a moment, then turned. "This way."

To accommodate the helmet, Matron had found the most attentive of stylists. Short hair was never popular on Betazed, but at least in those rare moments when she could remove the helmet, no one thought her hair to be unattractive.

The full length mirror in the facility confirmed her horror. This was an abomination.

"This is horrible." Juliette sighed.

"I fail to see the horror," T'Mar said.

Juliette ignored her. "I look freakish and stupid." Each turn in the mirror revealed more butchery; her hair was now given the same bowl shape everyone else had.

T'Mar coughed politely. "You have been given access to the consoles so that if you get lost, you can use them to find your way back. Our Initiate is T'Sana, T'Kyn is our Attendant."

"Maybe I can wear a hood."

"Only those following the Way of Kolinahr wear hoods indoors. You hardly need that."

Juliette continued to gape into the mirror.

"Be sure to shake your robes out each morning. Wrik'ted are attracted to warmth and residual moisture.

"Shaving it all off would be worse, wouldn't it?"

"When you are done, Danek requested to speak with you."

"I - What?"

"Danek asked to speak with you."

Juliette started to ask for a scarf, but T'Mar was already leaving. Were Vulcans just rude or simply thoughtless? Juliette had no choice but to hurry after her, through the maze of corridors to a lift and up several levels to a large hall with long tables. In her rush to catch up, she came face to face with another novice in the doorway. The novice took an abrupt step backward. As restrained as he was, she felt his alarm at her presence.

"This is our common dining area," T'Mar said. "The consoles will chime meal times."

"There are not many here."

"It is late, evening chimes will ring soon, and we will need to be in our cells."

Several rows of tables went on for at least a hundred feet, dotted with a scattering of Vulcans in robes. "This is huge."

"When the Order was larger, there were more Vulcans here," T'Mar said. "It was originally made to seat hundreds."

Juliette didn't get the chance to ask why there were fewer monks when she spied Danek at a table near the entrance

"Juliette Sri." he said formally. "I am pleased to see you are well." His eyes were specked with red pinpricks, less so than T'Mar, but prominent, nonetheless.

"I had no idea that you were hurt too," she said. But how? She'd never experienced feedback with more than one person at a time. Was she getting worse? "I deeply regr-"

"It is no matter," Danek said as he looked down at the table.

"Has P'Me-"

"It is nothing," Danek said as he seemed intensely focused on his tea. "Please."

"Your eyes should clear-"

"There is no reason to speak any more of this," T'Mar said with a ton Juliette couldn't decipher. Was it - irritation? Embarrassment? She felt the attention of some of the Vulcan nearby slide toward them. Either way, she snatched at another topic.

"Is it still storming?"

"It shall be for a while, weather in the Sas-a-shar is difficult to predict." Danek said. "When it is over, we'll all be put to work removing sand from the top levels. The air intakes will need considerable attention."

T'Mar said, "If we are fortunate, the curtains over the gardens will hold. Or else we'll be clearing sand and replanting for weeks."

"Gardens?" Juliette asked "What do you-"

"What did you wish to speak to Juliette about?" T'Mar asked Danek. Pointed, abrupt.

"I wanted to make sure she was alright."

"Did you not trust P'Mera's prognosis? It was quite detailed."

"I believe P'Mera's prognosis was 'She will be fine, and you should mind your own business.'"

"It sounds like the Doctor gave good advice."

Danek tilted his head slightly. "She is a guest of my family."

This seemed to take T'Mar back a little. "Of course."

"The Doctor said I'll heal. She held up her hand, splinted with stiff bandages. "T'Mar has a strong grip."

T'Mar looked down to the floor. "That was - unavoidable after -"

"Why were you at the facilities?" Juliette asked.

"What?" T'Mar asked. Her surprise stung against Juliette's awareness.

"P'Mera said you were supposed to be resting. But our wing is at least three-"

"Four," Danek said. T'Mar shot him a look.

"-four levels down. What were you doing up and about?"

T'Mar lips moved silently until words came out. "That is not your concern."

"No, but I am an Initiate, T'Mar," Danek said. "So it is -"

"I have an Initiate, who expect me back at my wing. You asked to see Juliette, now you have seen her." She appraised Danek with a stiff glance. "Is there more seeing that needs to be done?"

"You were looking for secret levels again, weren't you?" Danek asked.

T'Mar's frown tightened. "It is quite late, Initiate."

"Secret levels?" Juliette asked, then noticed the attention of all the vulcans of the common area on her. She crossed her arms and cringed in silence.

T'Mar had already turned. Juliette said nothing, and obediently followed. T'Mar said nothing until they were at her door. "Your console will chime a half hour before morning meditation."

"About those secret levels."

"I said, they are not your concern."

"Maybe I can help find them. It would be fun."

T'Mar maintained her narrow frown. "Even a novice knows there are no secret levels." She whirled away. Juliette stared dumbfounded, T'Mar's lie jangling against her mind.

Nightmare

Her box of her room was no longer square. The walls were pushed in and twisted. The floor pushed upward, swollen and the alloy felt feverishly hot. Juliette was standing one moment, scrambling on the ground the next as a rumble tore through the floor. Sand rained from cracks in the ceiling and erupted from the buckled floor with a hiss as a mound grew in the center of the room, expanding across the floor. Her room was filling like the chamber of an hourglass. She plowed through the mound to the door on the other side, and slammed her hand against the plate. But the door remained stuck in its twisted frame. She pounded on the door, kicking, screaming as the sand piled higher.

Finally, the door opened, but there was a figure - Mother! No a Vulcan, P'Nem - but no, not P'Nem.

"Stop!"

The sand was gone; the walls were straight. Even so, Juliette wanted out, out of the box. She brushed aside Initiate T'Sana's alarm as she staggered into the hallway. The Vulcan kept her distance, avoiding Juliette's gaze and touch. There were other Vulcan in the hallway their faces solemn; some looked tired. T'Mar was near the end of the hallway, her frown a hard line.

"You had a nightmare," T'Sana said, then added, "Again."

Apologies were a waste of air to Vulcans. "I will endeavour to keep them under control, Initiate."

"Your dream disturbed the entire wing. I will speak to Master Surot about moving you to another floor. We do not lack for space. I'm sure we can find something sufficiently distant."

Juliette shrugged. It wouldn't matter. Another floor, another lead-gray box, another day under a mountain buried in sand.

Wandering was a form of escape. In the evenings, Juliette went explored long corridors and investigated barren rooms. They were places without Vulcans, where she could walk off nightmares, or plot a getaway from the monastery. But the solitary journey was poor comfort; Vulcans might like solitude to think, but Betazoids craved company. Sometimes she envisioned opening a door to a burst of presence - some long forgotten enclave of much friendlier people who smiled, laughed, and welcomed her in. The next doorway became a moment of hope, then when opened, empty disappointment.

Vulcans didn't seem to break the rules - perhaps they were too disciplined, or too obedient - either way, Initiate T'Sana didn't check on her whereabouts after chimes. Perhaps she was just relieved not to feel a Betazoid's dreams. Still, it was not entirely true. T'Mar had wandered the halls once, and judging from her lie, probably still did so. Were there hidden levels? Sometimes she searched. The stairwells ended in walls or sealed doors where anything was possible.

She was so deep in thought, she almost didn't feel the presence nearby. Initiates and Attendants were allowed out after chimes, but most didn't wander from the central corridor. But even in the side corridors, she had to be wary. She stopped, and listened. The sense became familiar. Danek - intensely focused on a task. She stalked his presence to a half open door, the seals broken. As she looked in, a brilliant light burned in front of his silhouette.

Juliette gasped and the light went out.

"Are you alright?" Danek asked, "You shouldn't look at a Plasma Fuser without goggles."

She blinked away at the spots before her eyes. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you." Such a little kindness, asking if she was alright. She tried to keep from smiling. Smiling seemed to disturb the Vulcans.

"You are supposed to be in your room." Danek said. His voice sounded guarded. He was no longer in robes, but wore a form of coveralls bristling with pockets, and a face shield over his head. The bulky gloves made his hands seem twice their size.

"I'll return to my room," Juliette said, carefully weighing the truth in her words. She didn't say when she would return, but had promised that at some point in the future, she would be back at her room. Not a lie. Not exactly.

"I should escort you back to your floor," Danek said, but instead of walking out, he started fishing through a box. "I still have work to finish, then I'll go back with you." He handed Juliette a pair of goggles. "These will protect your eyes. Perhaps we can practice Federation Standard?"

Juliette felt a conspiratorial thrill. Lara had said Syrrannites didn't speak Standard, but this was his second time doing so in her presence. Even more, he had not said when his work would be finished. "Of course we can. What are you doing? Tell me, but in Standard."

"I am fixing a power coupling. See, the joints here are rotten-"

"Rotten?" Juliette asked. The word didn't sound right.

"Not rotten, but...but corroded, and if the coupling crosses...no shorts, it will turn off the lights on the whole floor."

The pitted conduit ended at a connector entombed in scale. If there was a coupling beneath, it had long since disintegrated. "You're doing maintenance?"

"My father made the power systems of the monastery his project when he was a novice, and continues even now. It is how my father honors the monastery. I take on the same project to honor my family and the monastery. In time, his tasks will fall to me, until I pass them on to someone else, or the station fails."

"Oh, kind of like how I'm Third Scion. My Sister Kanara is First Scion, so when Mother no longer wishes to be Matron, Kanara runs the House. Lara and I are second and third Scion. We will help maintain the household and carry out Matron's wishes."

"Will you?"

The question was heavy with meaning, as if there was a major choice. Juliette shrugged. "I don't know. It's a long time away." Juliette pointed to some coppery strands that ran the length of the wall. "What are those?"

"Proton-electron flow conduits. Its one of the earliest systems. Electrons flow to protons because -"

"Because they move more easily through conduits of gold or platinum." Juliette allowed herself a pleased smile at Danek's arched brow of surprise. "What? I do pay attention in class. It's not like Betazoids are-"

"Frivolous?" Danek asked?

"I was going to say non-technical."

"That's what I meant. non-technical. I should-"

"Practice Federation Standard more?" This time she did laugh, and she felt alarm from Danek. "What?"

"What?"

"Why does that -" she groped for a word that wouldn't offend. "My laughing creates a reaction."

"Vulcans only laugh or smile when they are sick. When they do so, they need help, and can be very dangerous."

"But-"

"Yes,I know it is normal for you. I have to adjust. I have been around Vulcans most of my life.

"People smile and laugh on Risa all the time," Juliette said.

"Then perhaps I should not visit Risa."

"Oh you should! It's fun - er, educational."

"I suppose I shall have to get used to outbursts of emotion. You should stand back. The fuser can get very hot."

"Will you show me how to use a fuser?"

Danek continued to stare at Juliette until she took a large step back, then slid his faceplate down. "I will see what can be arranged." Through her goggles, tip of the fuser became iridescent. He drew the tip along the juncture. With a sizzle, they parted. He examined the smouldering end. "Why are you away from your room?"

"Because I don't like being alone."

"That does not seem logical. Your wing is nearly full."

"If I'm going to be alone, I'd rather do it with no one around. Being alone around other people is worse than being by yourself."

Danek studied Juliette. "I believe you have just gone from being illogical to being extremely profound."

Juliette didn't know what to say. She hadn't been expecting a compliment.

"T'Mar says she gets headaches when you have very emotional dreams."

"I do not mean to. Master Surot is helping me learn control. I'm getting better at it, just - do Vulcans have nightmares?"

Danek prodded at the conduit with a probe for a moment before answering. "Yes, we do." There was a finality in his tone that told her to ask no further.

Juliette studied Danek as he worked as she worked a question in her mind. She had worked out so many different ways of asking, and as she sat, they all felt so ornate. The passion operas weren't always right. Sometimes it was best to be direct.

"Danek why am I being held captive?"

She expected Danek to be surprised, but he continued his work and aligned the new connector with the conduit, and ran the fuser down the seam. "We are held captive because of who we are."

"We?"

"I am a prisoner of duty and obligation, forced to stay and maintain a sand covered cave that is falling apart."

"I didn't think you liked it when I called the monastery a cave."

"I did not. I grew up here, and will more than likely die here. I am entitled to call it a cave because it is my home."

"Of course. I say things to my sisters that would make me really mad to hear from anyone else."

"I believe the analogy is apt, though I do not get 'mad.'" As he tested the connector with probes, he said, "You do not wish to be here, and you cannot leave. You are a captive of your condition, and the sandstorm."

"And that's all?" Juliette whispered, and tried to contain her annoyance. She was being literal, and here he was being philosophical. But despite his detachment, she felt something about the question bothered him, so she waited, and let him prepare his words.

"I am not sure. My parents did not anticipate your situation with the Vulcan Science Academy and it has my mother quite agitated. Mother will not tell me why it distracts her so. Father doesn't seem to know either."

"May I speak to her about it?"

"Of course. But I do not guarantee answers. Mother can be stubborn."

Juliette knew better than to add on.

Danek extinguished the fuser, and pressed a plate on the wall. The lights in the room glowed amber and the console flickered.

"There are only seventeen more tonight," Danek said, "I will escort you back, first."

"Seventeen would go much faster with help."

"Your argument is logical, but the situation would be extremely improper."

"I thought Vulcans cared about being logical," Juliette said as she placed the goggles in the toolbox. "Do you do repairs every night?"

"Vulcans care about being logical and proper. I make repairs most nights. When you have a project, you will have less free time as well."

"Perhaps I will find you again. We can practice Federation Standard."

"This is a very large facility. I doubt that we would cross paths again - why are you smiling?"

"Is that a challenge?"

"It was not meant to be so." He rose, tool kit in hand and indicated the door.

"Danek, please let me go back on my own. I promise to go straight back to my room. Immediately."

"I-"

"Besides, if I go, no one will know, while if you escort me, you'll have to contact Initiate T'Sana, and explain."

She could see Danek working it over in his head, picturing the questions that could come up. "You will go straight back?"

"I will. I give my word, and Betazoids are known the as the most honest beings in the Alpha Quadrant."

"Then you have given your word."

Juliette bowed properly as she departed, but skipped down the corridor once out of sight.