Chapter 6

Lailah's Kindness

Despite all of her best efforts, Lailah had been incapable of ignoring Mikleo's emotions that evening. Being the Prime Lord, she had a connection with all of her seraphim companions. Naturally intuitive and sweet, Lailah liked to think of herself as a nurturing, supportive person. But even she knew when she should be still and wait, and let someone sort out their feelings for themselves.

She'd hoped that's what Mikleo would've done, over time. His feelings for the Shepherd were obvious to all but Zaveid.

But...it looked like he was having some trouble coming to terms with things. And she was wise enough to know that Mikleo was putting on an act, in an effort to keep up appearances and not let on to his true feelings for Sorey.

And it was causing him trouble.

She felt the distress coming off of his slender form the instant his dream had turned into a nightmare. And once the young one left his bed and silently crept over to Sorey, well...it was all she could do to feign ignorance, and pretend to be like an opossum.

Hearing the water seraph's sweet, kind words, mingled with sadness and longing, was almost too much for Lailah. And so she knew that she must go after Mikleo once he'd left the tent and help him sort out his feelings.

She gave him several moments' head start, afraid that if she headed out immediately it would wake Edna and the others. Once enough time had passed, she slipped silently out from her bed, familiar with the ways of sneaking away herself, and headed out into the inky night of Lowgrin.

It didn't take her long to spot Mikleo, who hadn't traveled very far away from the tent.

Quietly, and calmly, she walked over towards where the troubled teen stood, and in her calmest voice, asked,

"Having trouble sleeping?" It was polite and kind, the way Lailah always was...but her turquoise eyes held a weight of knowledge in them, and also concern.

She cared about Mikleo. So if there was something she could do to help him in his plight, she would be there for him.

Mikleo had stopped at one of the disheveled brick walls Lowgrin sported. It came up to about his waist and so had been the perfect height for leaning against. He'd done so, placing both elbows on it and folding his arms. When Lailah had come after him, he'd been looking up at the starry sky, clearly lost in deep thought. But when she addressed him, he stood up straight and faced her.

"Yes," he fully admitted. "You too?"

"Mmnhmmn," she hummed in response, moving to stand by his side, folding her hands in front of her. She let her gaze drift upwards towards the many stars that brightened the inky darkness, admiring them for a moment. It was nice to be still and quiet, sometimes.

"I often find myself unable to sleep, with my mind drifting in and out, and all over the place," she confessed in her usual sing-song voice.

"And sometimes I have not-so-pleasant dreams," she admitted, looking away from the starry expanse and down towards the ground. "I usually slip out unnoticed, but...it looks like tonight I have some company," she said gently, hoping that Mikleo would continue to talk with her. She would never push him, not by any means...but she knew it was a delicate dance, this talk of serious things. And what could be more serious than sharing your heart's burdens with another person? Lailah would be patient with her sub lord, and let him open up as he felt was right.

His back now facing the wall, Mikleo casually leaned back against it as Lailah talked. Crossing his legs, he rested an elbow behind him on the brick. Carefully, and dutifully he listened, then; always one to nurture others before himself, he responded.

"It must be hard, being the prime lord," he said. "You have so much duty and responsibility on your shoulders. And Sorey and I have noticed how downcast you get every time we find an iris gem."

Sighing, he turned and glanced at the tent, which was still in view.

"You knew the last shepherd. And although I understand your oath prevents you from talking about it, I imagine this entire journey must bring up painful memories for you. I've seen a few times now, how you get up to take late night walks sometimes."

He turned his amethyst eyes back to her, his kindness and genuine concern for her shining fourth as he offered a small smile.

"I'm a great listener, but I'm afraid my skills are useless to you, considering you're forbidden from speaking about your true worries. I wish there was something more I could do for you."

Lailah was touched. Although she got along well with many other seraphim, very few paused to consider her situation and how she must feel.

Mikleo was right: she was forbidden from speaking about the past. As such, it was always difficult for her to think about how to respond when the subject came up.

She supposed a sincere 'thank you' for his compassion would be a good place to start.

"You're a kind person, Mikleo, and I'm glad we're on this journey together," she stated truthfully. That, at least, she could talk about.

"It's true there is much I can't talk about. But...there is something more you could do, if you wanted to ease my burdens," she continued, looking at the water seraph curiously for a moment, before turning the other way, acting a little more silly, as was her way.

"You see, as the Prime Lord, I am...privy, sometimes, to the emotions of those that are in my presence," she stated, pausing for effect. "Especially those that are my Sub Lords," she said with a swish of her long hair.

"I end up feeling much of what is burdening them. And I must admit, I...am troubled, by something that I sensed tonight. Mikleo, I..." and she clasped her hands together again, pausing, suddenly uncertain of herself.

But then Lailah twirled around again, and faced the young one earnestly, her turquoise eyes shining with emotion.

"I worry about you. And I know...you had a bad dream. And I know...you've been struggling with many things, especially surrounding Sorey," she said, as gently and as sincerely as she possibly could.

"You must understand, that I support you, both of you, completely. And I do mean...in that way, she stated, raising her eyebrows, even as she swished herself around for dramatic effect. "So please, let me be the one to listen. I want to ease your burdens, too."

Well. I just took a leap with that one. Hopefully...it won't turn out to be a total disaster.

As soon as Mikleo understood what Lailah was starting to say, a hot, pink color overcame his cheeks. Standing up straight from where he'd been leaning, no longer looking casual in any sense of the word, he lifted a hand to cover his mouth in his usual expression of total embarrassment. He may have been cool and suave when it came to dealing with other people's problems, and he may have been well put together when facing any other type of dilemma, but when the focus shifted to him, it was clear he didn't like the attention. And Lailah already knew how little he liked talking about himself.

"I…uhh…of course," he said, still struggling to maintain his composure. "I should have guessed that the prime lord would be well connected with her sub lords. It only makes sense that you would have…well…sensed certain things."

But after this initial opening, Mikleo seemed at a total loss in how he should continue. After all, he really wasn't sure how much Lailah knew, or what exactly it was she'd felt in him. And he'd never spoken openly to anyone about his relationship with Sorey. The closest he'd ever come was Gramps. And even then, he'd been guarded. He only ever said what he absolutely had to in order for Gramp's to understand certain needs that had arisen over the years. Such as his absolute need to learn healing artes, and his need to know everything there was about humans.

Gramps had understood everything. Mikleo knew he did. But even so, neither of them had ever come right out and said it.

Perhaps that's the problem, Mikleo thought. I can't confess to Sorey because I can't even talk about it with Gramp's or myself, or anyone else for that matter. I've never spoken about it out loud. Not once. What is it I'm afraid of? Or is it that I think I'm protecting something precious?

Mikleo looked to Lailah, his face quite intense and serious. For a few seconds, it seemed like he was struggling fiercely to try and break his silence, and tell a close friend how he truly felt and open up with his issues. But several seconds ticked by, and he just couldn't do it in such a frank manner.

Knowing this was the source of his repeated failures, Mikleo still opted to take a more familiar, comfortable approach. Side stepping a direct confrontation, he addressed the issue by circling around from the side. It was the same way he approached battle. Turning his gaze away, he looked back up at the stars. And even in simply not facing Lailah, he found it easier to talk.

"The stars here are different than in Elysia," he commented. "A lot of things are different…" Lowering his gaze, he then looked back to the tent, and more specifically to the end of it where Sorey slept in his bed, completely unaware of his longing.

"When we were little, Sorey and I used to sneak out of our rooms at night in order to lay on the grass to watch the stars." And right away, Lailah would see and sense that feeling of nostalgia that overcame Mikleo as he tried to address the heart of his issues. "Sometimes we'd get away with it, other times Gramps would catch us. And when he did catch us, he'd give us a terrible scolding. But it never stopped us from trying, especially on nights when we knew there was to be a meteor shower."

His amethyst eyes softened at the memory.

"We kept up that tradition as we grew. And Gramps' became stricter, and harsher as we got bigger. Then there was one night when I was thirteen when he must have caught wind of our plans early. That night, he locked us both in our separate rooms and we missed the meteor shower."

He glanced briefly to Lailah, a quiet smile on his face, but it was hard for him to look directly at her while he shared such a personal story, and so he looked away again as he continued.

"I didn't understand it at the time. Sorey and I both thought Gramps was being mean, which of course didn't fit his personality at all. We were both so angry with him…but…" And then he glanced back to the tent. "I finally understand why he did that now. I think Gramp's knew even before we did. And he wanted to make sure we didn't make a mistake by rushing into things at such a young age."

He gave a pause. But Lailah sensed he wasn't quite done, so she didn't interrupt.

"I've been very careful, not to rush it, even back then when I didn't know what it was. I still innately knew it was something precious, something very special. And I knew…it was something I couldn't afford to mess up. And so I thought: slow and careful, let's take our time, enjoy things as they come. I didn't want to blow anything up by putting labels on it, or by talking about it out loud. It just came so wonderfully natural to us that…there was no need for those things."

But then, the joy he had on his face from such good memories started to fade, and the pain Lailah had seen on him earlier on in the tent returned.

"But like I said, a lot of things are different now. And the place we're at currently…the place we're at…needs labels and words. We're not kids anymore. And if we're going to move past being kids then…then we have to…"

But Mikleo stopped talking then, carefully picking this moment to cut himself off. There was no good way to finish that sentence without traveling into much more personal territory.

"Then you have to talk about it," Lailah finished for him. "First and foremost. You have to admit it, both to yourself and to Sorey how you feel," the seraph stated simply. "I'm so sorry that you've been struggling with this. It can be scary...admitting something out loud. And I'm touched that you chose to share that with me Mikleo." And she meant that. His story and his feelings were special treasures, treasures that were more valuable than any jewel or any iris gem that she could ever possibly find.

"But there's nothing wrong with being scared," and then Lailah smiled a little. "That's a perfectly normal reaction to a situation such as this." She unconsciously fiddled with the long sleeves that covered all of her hands. "And there's nothing to be ashamed about," Lailah added, just in case the other seraph was worried about that, too.

She then took a deep breath, and exhaled airily, her eyes drifting back upwards towards the stars. "The thing about you two is that you're so...natural together. Everything fits. The two of you move in fluid motion, like a well-oiled machine, or like a team of horses, or... or like two peas in a pod, or...the flip side of the same coin," she said, suddenly not sure of how to say what she so desperately wanted to say.

"What I mean is - " and she looked back down towards Mikleo. "The two of you do things without speaking. You don't have to speak for things to be understood between the two of you. It's impressive, and most of the time I think it's a blessing for the two of you. It makes many things easier, doesn't it?" she asked, not really needing an answer.

"But the problem is, sometimes you do need to talk about things. Even if the other horse is a little more dense than the other, it can still sense it when it's partner is upset and not sure where to go," she said, not quite understanding where she was pulling that analogy from, but hopefully Mikleo understood her Lailah-talk well enough by now that he could make sense of it.

Mikleo was listening rather seriously at first, but the longer Lailah talked and the more puns and analogies she used, the less serious the conversation seemed to become. Very quickly, a smile started to spread over Mikleo's face. And then by the time she was talking about horses, especially a certain horse who was dense, Mikleo outright started to chuckle. He put a hand to his mouth in amusement.

"I think I understand what you're trying to say Lailah, although it's a little difficult through all of your analogies."

He chuckled a little while longer, and he had to admit it felt good. It was a great relief from all the pent up stress he'd been holding onto lately.

"You're saying, I'm worrying the dense horse by keeping these things to myself." He let out a sigh, lowering his hand from his previous amusement. This time, he turned and faced Lailah directly, lifting his gaze to her.

"I know that. I know I've been worrying him. He may be dense, but…he's never been all that slow when it comes to me. He knows I've been upset about something. And he knows I've been trying to tell him something. And I know he wants to help me. But…he doesn't really know what's wrong, and so he's been waiting. Waiting for me to come to him.

Sorey's so kind. And he's patient. He's never been the type to pry things out of me. He understands that sometimes I like to remain private. And he just…gets me. He knows I need time to sort things out myself before I can vocalize them to others. And that's why…that's why he's been holding back. But I…I-!"

And quite suddenly, Mikleo's face started to tense up, as it had during his nightmare. Quickly, he looked away from Lailah once more, too embarrassed to show such an expression to her. Instead, he once again looked to that place in the tent where his love was resting.

"I've tried so many times to tell him. But I can never be direct enough. I mean, not as direct as I need to be for him. And things keep getting in the way! Ever since Glaivend Basin I've been trying to tell him. But there's always a hellion that springs up, or we're entering a town full of people, or we sense a spot of malevolence, or Zaveid says something stupid. We're never alone. And when we are…there just isn't enough time. And when there is enough time, and I truly get the moment I need…I can't follow through. My personality just isn't like that. Sorey's always been the more open and direct of the two of us. And I just keep wishing he would confess first and save me from this torment."

He sighed heavily, the true weight of the situation becoming clearer the more open and comfortable he became in talking with Lailah. Lifting his lilac eyes, he glanced her way.

"I know he loves me. And he knows I love him. That's never been a question, never been a concern. So then…why is this so hard? It doesn't make any logical sense…"

Lailah couldn't help but wistfully think that the two of them were absolutely adorable. If it were a different situation, she'd allow herself to coo over how precious they were. But this certainly wasn't the time for that. Not with Mikleo feeling so open and so raw.

"Aaah, but feelings of love and adoration are rarely logical," she imparted. "In fact, they're some of the most honest, but intangible, feelings there are."

She tilted her head a little, giving her enough time to take in Mikleo's appearance right then, and right there. This was a cherished moment, one she would no doubt remember long after her journeys with Sorey and Mikleo ended. It wasn't every day - or every human lifetime - that she had the opportunity to speak as openly and honestly with someone else, especially over something as precious as their feelings. As such, she wanted to savor this moment.

"Hmmmn..." she paused, raising a hand to her mouth as she thought. "If you would like, I can help arrange more time for the two of you to be alone," she offered. "Then, at least, you'll be able to have the opportunity to talk. Or just be with each other," she offered. "Even if the two of you were already together, in that sense, you would need alone time. Relationships need time and space to blossom, but if there are too many flowers in the garden...the main attraction can't thrive," she said, pulling another weird analogy from nowhere.

"Would you like that?" she offered, waiting for his reply. If he wanted it, she was sure she could wrangle Edna and Zaveid off for one reason or another.

Mikleo's expression immediately changed to one of both gratitude and relief.

"Yes, please," he said immediately. "I almost…I was so close in the tent this afternoon. When I woke up, he was there, watching over me, and we were alone for once. And it was…it was almost perfect until Zaveid came in. If we had more opportunities like that, I'm sure I could do it. If not the first time, than surely the second or third. I know I can eventually. It's too important not to. And…I don't want Sorey to worry over me. So I have to tell him soon."

Lailah nodded simply, her long hair swishing again as she moved. "Yes, you must tell him soon. That would be the best thing, for both you and him." And she clapped her hands together in front of her, looking energized.

"Then, finding alone time for the two of you is exactly what we'll do," she said, before smiling gently at the much younger seraphim.

Lailah hadn't felt the stirrings of love since she was very young. It was so long ago, in fact, that it felt like a dream for her. If she could help this youth with his quest for love, then she would give it her all.

"You will be able to say what's in your heart, when the time is right," the fire seraph comforted. "And I do apologize about this morning. I...sensed that the two of you needed that time alone in the tent, but Zaveid..." and she sighed dramatically. "He insisted on coming inside to check on you."

She then looked back up to the stars, pondering over how she could get the lusty wind seraph to go along with her. "I suppose I will just have to...find ways to get him to come with me," and there was a mischievous look in her eyes then. "That shouldn't be too hard," and now she was grinning.

Mikleo actually recoiled at the idea, a look of discomfort on his face.

"Don't do anything you'd regret," he warned. But then a smile quickly came back to his face. "And, thank you Lailah," he said sincerely. "I've never been able to talk to anyone about this before. But…you've already shown how well you can keep secrets, and you've already been such a good friend. Even when we first met, you knew then about Sorey and me. And you supported us without so much of a word about it. I don't think I ever thanked you properly for talking to Sorey about me becoming your sub lord after that terrible fight we had."

She felt warmth emanating from within her chest. She recognized it as happiness from receiving a sincere compliment from a friend. It had been a long time since she'd had friends. Lailah had been alone for many decades until she'd started this journey with Sorey and Mikleo back in Ladylake. It felt good to have companionship again, and the feelings were only exacerbated by knowing she was appreciated and liked, despite her quirks and oddities.

"I remember that," she said, thinking back to when they'd all first met. "It was a fight. But I wasn't worried about the two of you. Not really. Even back then, I knew that the two of you were so close, you'd be able to get through it and come out stronger than ever. I also knew Sorey just needed some gentle guidance to realize he was being...well, dense," she said with a chuckle.

"Anyway. You don't worry about me," she said. "I know how to keep Zaveid in line. A lady always knows," Lailah said with another mischievous smile. "And I will most certainly keep your secret...although Edna already knows too, you know," she stated. "I think Mr. Wind Seraph is the only one out of the loop."

Mikleo chuckled.

"That's because all he can think about are women," he said plainly. "And I don't mind Edna knowing, or even Zaveid for that matter, if he can ever figure it out. I just…don't want to tell anyone before I talk to Sorey first. Although I suppose I already broke that rule by talking to you." But he didn't seem upset by it. It was very clear that he'd needed a friendly ear. And he was suddenly extremely grateful that Lailah had figured him out.

"I feel...surprisingly a lot better. Thank you Lailah."

She grinned. "You're welcome! I'm glad I could help," and she truly was. "After all, it's what friends are for!"

Mikleo's smile remained on his face. And although he still hadn't yet addressed his other issues, such as his new fear of malevolence, being separated from Sorey, or turning into a hellion, at the very least, the issue that was most important to him felt more resolved. And with the sense of relief he felt, he became aware of how tired he actually was. He hadn't been sleeping well for some time after all, and even seraphim needed their rest.

"Well, I think I'll go try and get some sleep," he said. "You should too. We have a big day of ruin exploring ahead of us tomorrow."

The two said their goodnights and Mikleo headed back into the tent. Walking down past all the beds, he moved to the last one to check on Sorey. And of course, he found him unmoved from the position he left him in last, only now his drool spot on his pillow was bigger. Mikleo chuckled. And this time, when he reached out his hand, he didn't hesitate. Affectionately, he pushed a few of his stray hairs away from his forehead.

"Doofus…" he said, his voice filled with love. Then, after he was sure he was alright, he turned back to his own bed. Removing his pants, he climbed back into bed. And this time, he laid on his side so that he could face Sorey and watch him while he slept. Feeling incredibly comforted for the first time since his scare at the battle field, he drifted off into a much more restful sleep.