Chapter Seventy

Jasper

I waited until Bella had finished and offered her a soda which she took tentatively but struggled with the ring pull and when I leaned in to take it from her and open it I moved too quickly and she flinched. I showed her what I was doing then handed the can back to her.

"Bella, please believe me when I tell you that I love you and I would never hurt you."

She nodded keeping her eyes down so I put a finger under her chin and forced her head up gently so I could look into her eyes,

"I love you and I know you'll remember your life with me again soon. I can wait, as long as it takes."

I let her look down again then, unwilling to stress her out any further.

Bella

I could hear the sincerity in his words but I still couldn't bring myself to trust him and something was stopping me from remembering. Something I was too scared to push against yet but I decided to test him out.

"May I use the bathroom?"

"Of course, it's your bathroom anyway."

"I mean, may I take a bath….or a shower if it takes too much water. I could just wash my face though it really doesn't matter. I'm sorry I asked."

He sighed and took my hand in his, a filthy scratched and bruised hand in his perfect white one, and pulled me up from my chair. I rose and followed him obediently hoping he was just going to shut me in one of the rooms and not hurt me, or even throw me out but instead he opened the bathroom door and tugged me until I joined him.

"Sit there."

I sat as instructed on the toilet while he ran a bath filling the tub with warm scented bubbles then he set three huge fluffy towels, a bottle of shampoo and a sponge on the side of the bath and then nodded,

"It's all yours, take as long as you like and if the water gets too cold then you can run some more hot water."

He kissed the top of my head and left shutting the door behind him and suddenly I felt lost and very lonely, I couldn't remember the last time I had been alone in a room. Biting my lip in an effort not to cry I stripped off my clothes or the rags that passed for them and felt the temperature of the water with one hand watching as the dirt drifted on top of the bubbles like an oil slick. It was warm and inviting and I stepped in sinking down until only my head was above the bubbles and closed my eyes.

Jasper

I sat outside the bathroom door listening for any signs that Bella might be in distress but it was very quiet in there for some time and then I heard the sounds of the water moving around as Bella washed off the filth of the cellar. I yearned to join her, not for any sexual reason but just to help her, wash her back, her hair, and to be with her. After a little while I heard the water run and then a very small voice,

"Could I have a jug to wash my hair please, if that's alright."

I knocked on the door and went in,

"Would you like me to help you? I used to wash your hair for you all the time."

She had turned to look at me and frowned as if trying to remember then nodded,

"Thank you. I hope there's enough water, I'm afraid I used some more hot."

I ignored that and knelt beside the bath draping the hand held shower head so I could wet her hair and then I took a large amount of her favorite strawberry shampoo and started to wash out the filth that had accumulated. She sat still and quiet as I did it rinsing and reapplying at least half a dozen times before the lather stayed almost white. There were a lot of tangles there that would need combing out or in the case of the worst cutting out but at least it was fairly clean now.

"There, all done. When you're ready can you get out by yourself?"

Bella

It felt wonderful, the warm scented water and him washing my hair with gentle cool hands. They stirred a memory, a very faint one, those same cool hands running over my body but maybe that was just wishful thinking. He was extremely good looking and very sexy but I was sure I didn't appeal now even if I had once. My ankles were sore from the soap and I wasn't at all sure I could get out so I bit my lip and shook my head tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Bella please don't cry, I'll help you. Just a minute."

I felt myself lifted up as if I weighed no more than a feather and wrapped in one of the fluffy towels, another smaller one wrapped around my hair. As he put me gently down I looked into the now emptying tub and gasped. The water was a dirty gray, a thick scum around the edges,

"I am so sorry, let me clean it."

I tried to kneel down looking around frantically for a cloth but he held on to me.

"Bella it's not important, forget about it. Come on or you'll get cold."

I found myself lifted again and carried into the lounge lowered gently onto the rug in front of the fire.

I expected him to go off to clean the mess I had left but instead he knelt down and started to dry me off so gently I felt like a fragile baby, like Aggie, and I wondered if she were being given a bath and wrapped in warm soft towels like this. When I was dry he went and got a robe for me, a pretty silk one that I thought for a moment I recognized.

I jumped up almost falling as my ankles threatened to give way but he caught me and the towel slid down to fold around my ankles. I saw him looking at my body and felt suddenly embarrassed but then saw he was more interested in the scars and scratches from my punishment than me as a woman. A flash of memory hit me, lying naked in his arms, but then it changed, real memories flooded back to replace the dream I had seen for a fleeting moment. Horrific, blood drenched images pounded through my head until I felt I could take no more and I screamed in terror.

Jasper

I felt Bella's emotions start to spin downwards into chaos before I heard her scream. Her body was quaking with pain and terror and I assumed that memories of her ordeal were running through her mind, keeping her from me, threatening to drown her in pain and sorrow. It had to come and much as I wanted to take her pain away I knew Charlie had been right, she had to come to terms with her feelings and all that had happened but she wouldn't be doing it alone. I was here with her and would be until she found her way back to me.

For now all I could do was to pick her up and hold her tight. I carried her through to the bedroom dragging a blanket from the bed and wrapping her in it to protect her from the chill of my body then sat with her in my lap holding her and speaking to her softly reassuring her that I was there and would always be but the screams and tears continued until finally she slept exhausted and I worried about her state of mind when she woke again.