Day 1
Part 2: By the pond
Illyana and Peter are sitting on a bench by the Koi pond that is on the X-Campus. Illyana is still wearing her armor.
"Sister, how did you come to be? How did you return? I've heard what Blindfold said of your summoning but that is all the details that we had".
Illyana answered as she took another slip of her strawberry shake, "Who is? Oh, she was the blind precog I met when I... when I hurt the various students I had stolen away from Belasco when they tried to stop me from creating a blood stone from Megan's soul".
A soft whisper "When I soul raped her".
Peter brushed aside Illyana's statement "You were not yourself then".
Illyana was not so quick to dismiss her actions "I am not myself now brother. I am... not as I once was. As she was. I... lack many of the things that made her well her. A soul for one. You don't really know what I am Piotr, and what I know of myself I detest. Please do not be so quick to forgive the harms that were not done to you".
"You are my sister, that is what I know. All that I need to know". Peter stated with that Russian kind of finality.
Illyana had an odd expression on her face, like the one you get if you taste something and are not sure if it has gone slightly bad. Like things were already beginning to fall apart; just like she had always feared. "A topic for later then. What do you know of my... return as it were".
"Belasco summoned you somehow and you appeared in a form he disliked. He apparently cast you out into the wilds of Limbo and a day later did his grand summoning that sucked the X-Men and the students into limbo. The students said that you apparently detected his grand summoning spell and diverted some of the students away from him. The rest, well the rest is known".
Illyana was silent in thought for a few moments. "A day for everybody else, but quite a bit longer for me. Yes he caste me out. I ended up hiding in a part of Limbo where time ran faster. I was... not myself, much less then I am now. I hid for a period of time I can no longer recall. Over time I gradually recovered some parts of myself, the parts that were left. I could not really recall what I had been before and did not have any true understanding of my memories. I felt the summoning that Belasco was creating and created a plan to foil his goals and hopefully grant me the power to end him".
Illyana sighed. "Well that worked but that plan was as flawed as I. I did things that... that are not forgivable and I wasn't going to stop doing them. Wasn't until you called me by my nickname. You called me out of the darkness that I had fully become. I had... mostly forgotten that you had ever existed, much less that you had died but then somehow were alive just before she... I killed myself in despair over what I had become in Inferno".
Peter started to protest, "Sister you did not kill yourself, you saved...".
"Yes Piotr I did, or to be more correct she did. The solution was so convenient. Just erase myself from ever having existed. So many problems solved. Well that didn't work quite as well as planned. He, Belasco summoned me into existence, but the spell was the wrong one. He thought she yet lived. I don't know the summoning he used, several spells come to mind, all with horrendous consequences for summoning someone who does not actually exist".
Illyana continued "You lived. And then I really remembered what I had once been. I was... not pleased to find myself as I was. I hated myself before, but now... now I was truly the horror she had always feared she would become, had in fact become. I did the only thing I knew how to do, kick you all out of Limbo. I was so... am so ashamed to be me".
Peter again protested, "Sister you have nothing to be ashamed of. All those things you did
you did...".
"Piotr please, yes I do. Many many things. Some from before, some... some from after.
It just is. Please accept that".
Peter wanted to protest, proclaim that she was wrong. That it was now all better, she was better. It was the past. She needed to see that. Well... he let it go for now.
"Brother. How is it you live again? You died in Dallas".
"Ut-oh", Peter thought.
A major source of Peter's anger about other's reaction to and opinions about Illyana was centered around his own deep feelings of guilt and failure.
Illyana had thought him dead. Illyana, he had learned, had went partially mad with grief and had done things to herself and others that ultimately ended in Inferno; and both her death and the return of his little snowflake in that a version of Illyana had emerged from Inferno who had somehow returned to being seven years old. A version of Illyana, but not the Illyana who had died, she had no memories of what Illyana had experienced. A more innocent version of Illyana, one who later died of the legacy virus. Now another version of Illyana had emerged from Limbo. An older and definitely not innocent version. One who apparently was a continuation of the original Illyana.
"I did not actually die in Dallas. Yes our essence was used to seal the breach, but then afterwards we were extracted. The world thought us dead and we decided to take advantage of this to work in secret. In hindsight not the best of plans. Da"?
Peter continued. "We found a younger you trapped in the armor of your body. She was innocent, returned to being seven years old. I was so happy that my original snowflake was returned to me. Cleansed of all that harm that had been done to her. I loved her dearly. She later died years ago of a disease, that was wiping out mutants, called the legacy virus".
Illyana just looked at him. Her face expressionless, her body tense.
"Illyana? Snowflake"?
Illyana stirred but did not relax. "No. Not the best of plans".
She was upset, Peter could tell.
"Peter I'd like to be alone for a bit if you don't mind. I need some time to... comprehend some things. I promise not to vanish".
"Da sister, I understand. I'm... so sorry. I had no idea what you were going through at the time".
"Thank you brother, now please I need some time alone".
Peter had a hopeful tone. "Da. I will return with tea in half an hour"?
"Please an hour if you would, and please tell others to stay away".
"Da". Peter got up to leave, but first gave Illyana a hug.
Her body was rock hard with tension, she returned the hug after a few seconds.
Peter walked slowly away towards the building where the others were holding their meeting. He glanced back towards Illyana where she was sitting on the bench. Her back was turned to him. He could see that she was hugging herself, rocking back and forth and trembling. He suspected she was crying.
Peter met the others coming out of the building and explained what had happened
and Illyana's request. Logan ended up wearily rubbing his eyes. "Well crap Petie. I can tell from here that your little story is not going down well".
Part 3: By the pond, an hour later
An hour later Illyana was enjoying a cup of hot Russian tea with Peter, Sam, and Roberto. Well... she looked like she was enjoying the tea.
The bay area fog was streaming over the hills. The pond area now in shadow as the sun had hidden itself behind the hills. Mark Twain had once said the coldest winter he had ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. The chilled air had, as always, made everybody bungle up a bit. Everybody except Illyana as she was still half covered in her armor and half... well uncovered by it.
"Illyana you must be cold, here take my jacket" Berto commented. as he offered his jacket.
Illyana frowned in slight confusion. "No, I don't get cold. At least not in such simple weather. But I suppose some actual clothing is in order".
She seemed to shiver and the armor faded away to be replaced by a simple tee shirt of a band five years out of a vogue and a faded pair of jeans.
Berto was still insistent "You used to get cold. Please take my jacket".
Illyana acquiesced to wearing the bombardier style jacket from Berto while replying "Ok, but she never really did get cold. That was pretend, to make people be more at ease with her. She always felt left out and believed if she showed more weaknesses that her friends would not be so scared of her all the time".
There was an embarrassed silence.
"Oh, I did it again. Sorry. My memories are rather divided into before and after. I have... identity problems dealing with older memories. They sometimes are more like a book or movie and less like actual experiences which tends to make me call... well me her".
Sam quietly stated "We warn't always scared and some of us were less scared then others. And some more so I guess".
Illyana put down her cup, "It just was. Funny, how things are not really different now but now... well now there are lot's more reasons to be afraid".
Illyana hung her head. "This really isn't a good idea. I'm... not good for people".
Berto offered up a surprising good piece of advice "If we don't try to change then we never do".
Illyana picked back up her cup and took a sip of tea. "This coming from the guy who spent most of his time either avoiding me or being spiteful and sarcastic. Sam I can understand being concerned but you Berto? You really didn't like me so why the concern now"?
Berto was honest, "Because I feel bad about what happened to you. I was quite the jerk about some things that I've subsequently done myself. Things are a bit less black and white now for me. You scared the crap out of me back then and I... I don't like it when I feel that way".
"Hmmm" Illyana gave both Sam and Berto an appraising look. "Well looks like you two are all grown up now, apparently in more ways then one. Looking good I might add".
"You're looking rather fine yourself Illyana" Berto replied, which earned him a dark look from Peter (Great, the brother is already getting possessive thought Berto, it was a just an innocent comment).
Sam decided that now as a good time to mention the lab tests. "If you don't mind Illyana Hank would like to run some tests".
"Hank"?
"Hank McCoy, you know, nickname the Beast".
"Oh yea. Sure. Why not. What's some needles after... after all that's happened".
Part 4: Lab (a)
Hank McCoy was briefly explaining to Illyana what the plan was. "If you don't mind Illyana I've scheduled some labs for you over the next few days. They will be cumulative in that subsequent labs will in part build upon the prior lab results".
"Ok, Dr. McCoy" Illyana replied while looking about the lab from the examination others were banished from the lab during the examinations. No need to make this a circus was Hank's curt statement as he ejected the others from the lab. They were hanging out in the adjacent observation lounge. Currently the windows let them see what was going on but the sound dampeners prevented them from hearing what took place. Hank was a big believer in Patient confidentiality.
"Hank, call me Hank" was Hanks smiling reply. He walked over to Illyana with a tongue depressor. "Now open wide and say ahhhh". He didn't really need to examine her tonsils but he always found this to be a bit of an opener and helped set the Doctor/Patient relationship.
For the next ten minutes he proceeded to examine her mouth, ears, listen to her heart and lungs, examined her eyes and gave her a quick eye tests (Hmm 20/10 vision), drew blood, and of course a detailed bio scan from the various equipment scattered about the lab and built into the chair.
"There, all done for now. Tomorrow I'll likely have some more detailed tests and some physiological examines as well".
In the absence of the others Illyana now was very withdrawn, not that she had been outgoing when she had come in. Quiet. Not the good contemplative quiet, rather the quiet of fear, of distress. The quiet of if I move I'll break something. Hank noticed she was unconsciously wringing her hands.
"It's going to be OK Illyana" Hank said gently. "It's confusing, bright, loud, scary. I know. I've been there and so have others. It gets better over time".
Illyana put on a smile that looked as hollow and false as she felt. "Thank you Dr. McC… Hank. I hope so. Everything is… different. It… hurts to be here".
Hank played dumb, a crucial aspect of mental and emotional therapy is to have the patient not the doctor speak and describe. "Hurts? As in pain? Physical injuries"?
Illyana got out of the chair "No nothing physical, those are healed for the moment. Getting gutted alive is so not fun". Hank was intrigued, the physical scans showed no aftereffects of such an injury, apparently her magical healing abilities that were on the scale of Logan's. They still had no real idea what had happened to her after she returned to limbo upon retrieving her soul sword from Megan and being freed by Kurt, this was a new and not good tidbit of info.
"No it's… well it's hard to describe. It's like I'm black and white in a color world. I feel skinned alive and existence is a salt water bath. Being around all of you just continually reminds me and shows me what is missing and that void hurts so bad. You... and everybody else are... well are. Where as I'm... I'm not. It's a soul thing, really hard to explain if you lack the eyes to see it".
Hank escorted her to the lab's exit, the others were waiting outside. "I know it sounds trite, but give it time".
Part 5: Late night meeting (a)
Hank, Emma, Scott, Logan, Sam, and Kurt are in the conference room. Peter and Roberto are with Illyana by the Koi pond. Various medical charts are displayed on the walls, current lab results and comparisons to the archived Illyana medical data back from her New Mutant days; before she died. Hank was finishing up the presentation of initial medical tests.
"So, as you can see the preliminary tests match up. Blood type and DNA scans match perfectly from the historical and current data. Normally I'd extract a micro bone sample to examine the grown rings to attempt to correlate her age but, just as with Logan, I suspect such data will be of little value. What differs is the brain scans. We need to run a bunch more tests but what little I've been able to determine from such minimal examinations appears to be a topic of concern. Tomorrow I plan to have a more in depth brain scans while undergoing some physiological questions but here is a historical Illyana brain scan while at rest".
Hank now projects a brain scan image showing a blue brain with some scattered red and green zones.
"This compares quite favorable with a normal brain at rest, the blue areas show low levels of activity while green and red show higher levels of activity".
Hank now displays a second brain scan next to the first scan. It is mostly red, with only some regions being blue.
"Here is her current scan from the lab when I left her alone for a few minutes. Now it was not a true at rest state so we would expect a higher level of activity, but nothing like this. This corresponds highly with her statement about feeling different".
Emma's eyes narrowed. "Disturbing and interesting. The emotional centers are one of the few areas in blue, one would have thought that it would have been red. Possible indicator of extreme detachment or shock".
Hank continued. "I hypothesize that her brain may be having difficulty handling and processing sensory data from our existence or dimension. An analogy would be that she was in some kind sensory desert or dead zone and now she's immersed in sensation".
Emma injected with some concern. "Hank you do know what that also looks like".
Hank sighed. "Knew you'd see it Emma. Yes, precursory epileptic fit. Massive neuron firing until an over stimulated brain short circuit as it were and the neuron firing sequence goes chaotic. Another interpretation is that her brain no longer has preferred neuron firing pathways and is searching for a new general layout on processing and examining incoming stimuli".
"I assume you asked her if she's been having headaches or convulsions" Emma stated as she continued to examine the red brain scan.
"Yes and the answer was, I quote: Headaches yes, no convulsions that she can remember for the last few months. Considering how time passes in Limbo we must look at this with answer with concern".
"Where is she now" Scott inquired.
"Still by the Koi pond" Kurt replied. "She finds it peaceful. A room has been made available to her but she doesn't feel sleepy and doesn't want to be confined. Said something about wanting to watch the stars and the moon. I suspect it will be a long night for our friend Peter".
"Any additional conclusions or findings anyone" Scott asked the group.
"Peties managed to both reaffirm and partially isolate himself at the same time" Login stated. "Our fault really, we should have remembered that she thought him dead. Learning the details as to why he was not dead was going to hurt whenever she learned it, but now was an especially bad time. Kids screaming inside, can feel it whenever I get close".
"Is she really child after all that she's been though and done" Emma rebutted.
"Kid wants to be, but probably doesn't think it's possible. We need to reach her before she convinces herself that she's not".
"How… observant of you Logan" Emma replied with a contemplative look.