Chapter 11

Cruel

Eventually, Mikleo calmed back down. After a few moments, he dried his eyes. But he didn't talk about his dream, and Sorey didn't want to push him, so he didn't ask about it. Instead, they spent just a little time being sweet to one another. Mikleo eventually fetched a cloth out of their bag, then using his own water, he washed his face. Fixing himself up, he once again, as usual, was somehow able to make himself look as pristine and stoic as always.

The others eventually came back in. Worried, they asked if he was alright and per his character, Mikleo coolly responded that he was fine and not to fuss.

Everyone knew better by then. But like Sorey, they decided not to push. It was late at night, they were all tired, and Mikleo was already laying back down in bed, making it clear that at least for the moment, he wasn't open for discussion.

They turned the lanterns back out, and all of them climbed back into bed. This included Sorey. And once Sorey was beside him yet again, Mikleo wasn't shy about reaching out his arms and wrapping them tightly around him. Gripping the shepherd in the dark where no one else could see, he buried his face in his neck. The relaxed, happy state he was in a few hours ago was long gone. And now, he clung to Sorey like frost to a leaf, digging his fingers into his shirt.

He didn't say it, because he'd been embarrassed enough that evening, but he needed to hold onto him, and be held, so that he knew he was real. If Sorey lost his resonance, his arms would have gone straight through him as if he were a ghost.

Sorey seemed to sense this, and so, also without words, he wrapped the water seraph up tight. And he didn't let him go.

Eventually morning came. The sun rose, chasing the shadows out from the corners of their hiding places around Lowgrin. It was still early yet, so the heat of the desert day wasn't upon them. But still, as everyone started to stir in their bed, even from within the tent they could feel the sun drying the world around them.

Yawning and stretching, they started to rise. And today, for the first time in a while, no one had to wait on Mikleo. He was awake because he'd never fallen back into a decent sleep. And so, when the others started moving around, he was roused from his very shallow state of rest. He got up with them, as did Sorey. And from there, the group began to get dressed in an odd, almost foreboding silence. Their usual conversation wasn't had. Zaveid didn't start flirting with Lailah, and Edna for once didn't pick or bicker with Mikleo. And Sorey, in all his usual puppy-like joy, wasn't humming a song, or talking about the exciting day they had in front of them.

It was an odd feeling. And no one liked it.

Once fully dressed, and after Sorey took care of his morning maintenance, they all headed to the dining tent together. They sat at their usual table, and ordered their usual food. Still they stayed quiet until their drinks arrived. But then, finally, as they were waiting for their food to be cooked, it was Mikleo that broke the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry for waking everyone last night," he said, his purple eyes glancing off and to the side.

"That's ok," Lailah quickly responded. "It wasn't your fault."

More silence. Edna squirmed in her seat from the discomfort.

"So what's the plan?" she asked. "We're all thinking the same thing, aren't we? That it's a little strange Meebo is having bad dreams?"

"Yes, it is strange," Lailah concurred. "Especially since he's such a good-natured, pure-hearted seraphim." And she smiled a little Mikleo's way as she delivered the compliments. But Mikleo didn't respond and didn't seem lifted by the praise. Lailah's smile faded.

"Mikleo, I know you told me these nightmares started right after Glaivend Basin, but before that, have you ever had nightmares before?"

"No," he responded quickly. "Never. In fact, I remember a time when Sorey was having them when we were younger, and I was frustrated because I couldn't relate. Gramp's had told me that seraphim very rarely experience a nightmare because of our holy nature, and because we were inside of his blessed domain, there was no influence of malevolence from the outside. And really, I had such a happy life there that there was never a reason for me to have one. But even after Sorey and I left Elysia and started our journey, I didn't have any then either. And at that point, we were experiencing plenty of frightening things."

"Hmm…that's what I thought," Lailah said. And as Mikleo gave her the answer she suspected, a grave expression that no one liked overcame her face.

Sorey didn't like the way Lailah's expression changed. Even without speaking any words out loud, that alone said many troublesome things for Sorey.

Frowning, he stayed silent for a second, thinking. "Well then...what could have happened to cause them?" he asked out loud, crossing his arms in front of him and leaning forward in his chair. "Could Heldalf have done something to you at the Basin?" he asked. But even as he said that...why would their enemy choose Mikleo to torment over the others? Was it...was it because...

Sorey's eyes turned dark. What if he'd singled out Mikleo because he knew that would be an easy way to get to him?

He didn't like that train of thought. And so he definitely didn't voice it. Instead, he completely chose a different theory to go with. And he ran with it.

"Or maybe you came in contact with something that no one else did," he offered, not even sure if that was plausible or not. But it beat the alternative.

"No," Lailah said softly. "I'm afraid I'm suspicious that someone is doing this to Mikleo quite on purpose. I've sensed a bit of malevolence in my sleep for the past several nights in a row. But I hadn't been certain because out here in the world there's boughts of malevolence everywhere. That and I was asleep. But with the severity of Mikleo's dream last night, I'm feeling more certain. The extremity of it was outside of Mikleo's nature."

And there was the truth of it. Everyone had been leaning in that direction, but Lailah said it first.

"But why?" Mikleo asked, and Sorey would notice immediately that the water seraph didn't deny Lailah's words at all. "It's a strange way to attack our group, don't you think? I mean, what purpose could Heldalf and his goonies have to give me a few bad dreams? I mean, it's not really hurting us or getting in our way. We're still going to go purify hellions and try to track down and stop Heldalf once we're ready."

Lailah was quiet for a moment, the way she usually got when about to deliver difficult news. She glanced to Sorey, then looked back to Mikleo.

"Even before you confessed to Sorey, it was clear to even complete strangers the level of care you and Sorey have for one another. Heldalf must have seen it too. And he's probably trying to use you as a tool to weaken Sorey."

A grimace overtook Mikleo's face, and he quickly turned his head and glanced away and to the side. It was clear enough from his expression that such an idea was painful for him.

It was just as he feared. Sorey closed his eyes and tucked his chin to his chest.

"He wants to hurt me by hurting you," Sorey said, not denying Lailah's theory either. After all, it's exactly what he'd been thinking himself, and it made too much sense to dismiss or ignore.

Anger started to well up inside of him. He hated what Heldalf had done, and how badly he'd hurt his love in the process of trying to get to him. But Sorey knew he couldn't let those negative emotions fester. That was exactly...exactly what Heldalf wanted.

Even so, he clenched his fists together, and controlled his breathing.

"Well," he said, trying to remain calm. "I won't let him get what he wants. And we have to figure out a way to keep it from happening again. I won't give in to the malevolence, like I know he wants me to. But at the same time, we can't let this continue," Sorey stated.

"Mikleo, I'm so sorry," he stated, seeing the way the seraph had grimaced and turned his head to the side. But of course, Mikleo would never allow Sorey to take blame for something he hadn't done.

"Don't apologize," he said. "None of this was your fault. Please don't take any blame…" Sorey, still seeing how pained his love was, reached out to place a gentle hand on the water seraph's shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"Now that we know these nightmares are purposeful and deliberate, we can find a way to keep the nightmares away." He told him, and then he took in a deep breath, green eyes becoming more focused as he tried to think over options.

"How do you think they're doing it? You said you felt malevolence nearby, right? Do you think something appears nearby, or...?" he asked, looking to the fire seraph for her opinion.

"I'm not sure," Lailah admitted. "As I said, I've been asleep every time this has occurred."

Zaveid laid a casual arm on the table top as he leaned in to face the group.

"Seems to me like we need a good old fashioned look-out."

But Edna shook her head.

"Do you really think Heldalf or one of his goons will show up if we have a look-out?" she said. "We won't find out the cause that way, and what's worse is we'll be letting them know we're on to them."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Mikleo asked. "If they know we're onto them, they'll stop."

"True," Edna agreed. "But then we can't catch whoever's doing this. We want to catch this person, if it even is a person who's doing it."

"But why? What good would that do us?"

"What good would capturing our enemy do us? Meebo do you even hear yourself? We could ask him questions, find out what Heldalf's plans are. Or maybe his location, which we still need in case you forgot."

But it was Zaveid that let out a low 'hrmm' to Edna's plan.

"Even if we did catch whoever's doing it, they aren't going to tell us anything we wanna hear," he said. "And because we're a band of seraphim with a leader even more innocent and pure than we our ourselves, we can't interrogate him the way you're probably suggesting. Not without turning into hellions. So there'd be no point. I'm with Mikky on this one."

"Besides," Mikleo said, "The point here is to protect Sorey. If Heldalf is trying to use me as a tool, like Lailah said, then his ultimate goal is probably to turn Sorey into a hellion." He turned to Lailiah. "Didn't you say at the start of our journey that if the shepherd is ever corrupted the world as we know it would end? Malevolence would be born everywhere! Heldalf would win! And all humans and seraphim alike would turn into beasts or dragons. And so, stopping these nightmares first should be our priority."

Lailah nodded.

"I'm inclined to agree."

But Edna, still not convinced let off a 'phht.'

"I still don't see exactly how giving Mikleo a few bad dreams would turn our mighty shepherd into a hellion. That seems far-fetched to me. That can't possibly be their goal. And if we want to know their real goal for tormenting lady water, than we need to capture this worm."

"Hmm…" Zaveid hummed again, putting a hand to his chin. "Edna's got a good point too. It is hard to see Sorey turning into a hellion just because Mikleo can't sleep easy."

"Regardless of their goal," Lailah said, "I still think stopping this first is most important. It shouldn't matter what their motive was. If it wasn't to turn Sorey completely into a hellion, then at the very least they were using it to distract him. Perhaps our enemy thought that if he could instill more fear amongst our ranks, it would weaken the team. Or maybe it was meant as a gateway to injecting malevolence into us. Maybe it was simply to slow our progress. A sleepless shepherd is a shepherd who isn't working at his best. One misstep in battle and it's over."

The team fell quiet. And for several long seconds, everyone seemed to think it over. But while everyone was deciding how to proceed, Mikleo was still stuck on the enemy's motive. He was still convinced that the reason behind it was indeed to turn Sorey into a hellion. After all, it was only the night before when Mikleo had thought he was turning into one himself. The dream had been so real that when he'd woken up, he hadn't been sure if he hadn't been turning to malevolence in his sleep. And if he had turned…and Sorey had to deal with him…maybe Sorey would turn too.

It was a dark, frightening, disturbing thought. And at the moment at least, Mikleo didn't want to admit these things out loud and to the rest of the group.

"Mikleo," Came Lailah's voice. "Do you mind telling us what your nightmare was about last night? Maybe the dreams you've been having would give us some insight on our enemies thought process."

Mikleo's face fell, and it was clear he was immediately uncomfortable. Lifting one hand, he held onto his opposite arm as he glanced away from his team members yet a second time.

"I don't…I…the dream was…"

Sorey was concerned. Why didn't Mikleo want to tell them?

"Mikleo?" he asked, his head tilted slightly to the side, clearly worried. "Is it about...what we talked about in the ruins?" he asked, hoping that maybe then at least he'd understand. If Sorey knew, then maybe he could explain it to the others in an easy way that would take the pressure off of the seraph.

Mikleo hesitated, "Sort of," he finally said. But he knew he would just have to explain. Letting out a sigh, he forced himself to address the table.

"I dreamt that we faced off against Heldalf and lost. As a kind of punishment, he blasted Sorey with an absurd amount of malevolence effectively and permanently taking away his resonance and all his power. The entire rest of the dream was just…just me following Sorey around throughout his life like some sort of ghost.

You guys all eventually went your separate ways and left, since he wasn't the shepherd anymore and there was nothing left for you to do. But I stayed, even though he couldn't see or hear me. Sorey…spent the next several years looking for a way to get his resonance back. And he'd talk out loud to me sometimes, even though I couldn't answer and he had no way of knowing if I was really there. We were…completely separated for decades.

Sorey eventually started to make some human friends in his search for resonance. And soon he started having dinner with them or helping them with their own needs. He started talking to me less and less. And then one day, he stopped altogether. He forgot about me.

Even so…I stayed by his side. I watched him grow old. And even though he gave up his search for resonance and never spoke to me or looked for me again…I couldn't bring myself to leave him. And then one day he…he…just collapsed. He lay in the grass, dying. But in those last few moments as he was passing on, he could see me again. He saw me and he called my name, and I…I…"

But Mikleo couldn't finish as his voice tightened. His face tensed and he looked away from everyone at the table. For several seconds, it looked like he had to fight an oncoming of tears, and he had to fight them off pretty viciously. It was no longer a wonder why he'd been sobbing in Sorey's arms the night before.

It was Zaveid that said what everyone was thinking, and he said it in a low, angry voice, "That's cruel."

The anger Sorey had felt before welled up. Zaveid was right: it was cruel. He found he couldn't say anything for a few seconds, just closed his eyes and clenched his gloved fists in anger.

"It's beyond cruel, and there's no way we're making you go through something like that again, Mikleo." When he opened his eyes again, they were full of pain and concern. All he could think about was how much his love had been trembling the night before, and how he'd sunk his fingers into the back of his shirt like Sorey was...

He couldn't continue that thought. Although calm on the outside, Sorey was most certainly not calm on the inside, and he knew he had to calm that part of himself down.

He caught Mikleo's eyes, and reached out and grabbed the seraph's hand in his own. "And anyway, it's totally ridiculous. I'd never forget about you," he said, feeling like Mikleo already knew that, but reiterated it just in case.

If he'd had that nightmare, if he'd been in Mikleo's place, Sorey would've wanted to hear it. Words had power, and sometimes people just needed to hear things said out loud. If Sorey could do that, and make Mikleo feel better, then that's what he would do.

Sorey grabbed his hand. And that alone brought comfort. But then, he said the words Mikleo knew he would say. He had to say them, or he wouldn't have been Sorey.

Mikleo smiled softly, resting his purple eyes on his love.

"I know," he said. "And you're right, the dream is ridiculous. Everyone knows you'd never make it to old age, because you can't survive without me. You'd be dead in a week."

Edna let out a not so stifled "phht!" And really, Lailah couldn't help but to let off a giggle too. Zaveid let out a loud "HA!" as he slapped a hand down on the table loudly.

"He's got you wrapped around his little finger, doesn't he!" Zaveid laughed. But the soft, kind, affectionate way Mikleo was still smiling at Sorey, let the shepherd know how grateful the water seraph truly had been for his words of comfort. He'd needed them. And besides, Mikleo had more than one reason to break the serious mood.

Leaning in a little closer to the person he loved he said softly,

"No room for malevolence in there with me around." Mikleo knew how angry Sorey had been after he told him about his dream. And although sometimes anger was good, he was going to make damned sure that no hatred took root in his beloved's heart. There would be no room for it as long as Mikleo made sure it was full to the brim with much more pleasant things.

Sorey grinned sheepishly with the teasing, rubbing the back of his head, which made his brown hair stick out a little. "Yeah, yeah, I'm...pretty much like that," the shepherd agreed with Zaveid, not even bothering to deny the truth.

And of course, Mikleo was right about his statement, too. "Yeah," he agreed swiftly and quietly. "You keep me on my toes. And you're right. I'd last about a week at most," he said with a grin, his green eyes twinkling with merriment, despite how morbid some people might think that comment was. It was just the truth, and Sorey was an honest person, and he needed to laugh about something. And Mikleo had done that for him.

"You're always taking care of me," he said, his voice still soft. And it was unclear if he was meaning in general, or as acknowledgement for the fact that Mikleo had just given him some much-needed cheer. Mikleo would know the double-meaning.

Sorey gave his hand a squeeze. "Thanks."

Without a word, Mikleo squeezed his hand back.

"All the mushyness aside," Edna said. "We still have to figure out what to do about this problem."

"I think it's already decided," Zaveid said. "We're putting an end to this, regardless of our enemies' motive. Wherever we end up staying this evening, I'm keeping watch. We'll see if this loser can get around me and my wind. And if my presence scares them off than great."

Lailah, Mikleo and Sorey all nodded in agreement. It was only Edna who didn't seem convinced. But seeing she was outvoted, she crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged.

"Fine," she muttered. "But don't come crying to me if we don't understand something about our enemy later."

It was then of course that the food arrived, effectively ending the conversation about Mikleo's night stalker. But that didn't stop them from discussing the upcoming day from between mouthfuls of food.

"So, to the abandoned village of Horsa after breakfast?" Zaveid asked. "Once we purify this place we can blow this joint and move on to another town. Hopefully one with a more permanent and presentable inn. I know our brand new love birds over there are wanting a decent inn. With walls. Bed's with headboards. And most importantly: doors. Am I right?" And of course, he had to grin and wink as he said such a thing, causing Mikleo to let out a groan and put a hand to his forehead.

Sorey flushed, turning beet red all the way to tips of his ears.

"Zaveid!" he cried out. "Have some couth! Th-that's...that's not.." and Sorey looked to the side. He couldn't even speak the rest of that sentence. Partially because he didn't know what to say that would be truthful. In reality, he would like to have some privacy with Mikleo, but there was no way he'd say that out loud. Especially not in front of everyone else. And he just...made it seem so perverted. Like it was naughty, or...dirty. Sorey didn't want anything they did together to seem or feel scandalous. It would be good and pure and perfect and wonderful and...

Sorey coughed, averting his eyes.

"Anyway, yes. Let's head to Horsa after we finish here, and then go from there. I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering what could be out there."

He meant it both as another truth, and as a distraction from Zaveid's line of thoughts. That man had a one-track mind, and Sorey didn't want to linger on his personal life with Mikleo any longer than necessary.

"As you wish your shepherdness!" Zaveid said with an over exaggerated bow, then turned back to his food.