Sorry it's been so long, schools started, and i'm busy. This story is going to take a long time, for which I apologize in advance. It's a long story, and it will be very emotional. Please stick with me, read and review! Love ya!

*I don't own this*

Wandering

It had been a whole moth since Arthur died, and to everyone's relief, Merlin finally seemed to be recovering. He was eating, bathing, and assisting Gaius. Still, it was painfully clear to the close observer Merlin was not alright. Merlin never smiled or laughed. He barely even spoke. He spent an unhealthy amount of time polishing armor, or aimlessly wandering the castle, "like a ghost," as the Queen said.

It was during one such wandering that Merlin found himself in the audience chamber. He slipped inside, closing the door behind him. The sound of his footsteps echoed loudly as he walked up to the hard wooden throne in the middle of the room. He ran his hand over the back of the chair, walking behind it. "Oh Arthur," he whispered. "We're so lost without you." He blinked back his tears, remembering. In this room, Arthur had carried out the law justly. In this room, Arthur had asked Merlin for his council. In this room, Merlin had seen his destiny in full bloom.

Merlin's tears were coming thick and fast now, and his pent up emotions began to boil over and he screamed, his eyes flashing gold. "Raahhhhhhh!" The wooden throne sailed through the air and cracked in two. Merlin stared, transfixed, at the two jagged and splintered halves of the throne. He sank to his knees and buried his face in his hands. "Why is this happening to me? Oh Dragon, you left me with so many questions! Answer me!"Merlin cried out in desperation, barely registering his shift to dragon tongue. "And now you've abandoned me. Come back to me!" Merlin choked up, sobbing so hard he couldn't continue. He knew it was futile to call on the dead dragon, but he couldn't help it. Deep down, he knew nobody had understood him as Kilgharrah had. Why was everything so hard? Merlin curled up into a ball on the floor, giving in to the wave of sorrow that washed over him.

The next thing he knew, he heard the sound of glass shattering. Pieces of colored glass clattered to the floor and Merlin turned to see a small white dragon hovering outside the window, clawing at the stone to gain entry. It's forefeet were bleeding where the glass had cut it and it mewed in pain.

"Aithusa," Merlin breathed in wonder. His words had compelled the poor thing to come to him! Merlin shook his head in disbelief. "Oh Dragon, fly to the clearing of your birth. I'm coming Aithusa!" The white dragon mewed again, and turned away, staggering through the air toward the clearing.

"Merlin? Is everything alright?" Merlin continued to stare awestruck out the window, barely registering Sir Leon's hand on his shoulder.

"I have to go." Merlin said, somewhat dazed. "I'll clean it up later!" he called, bolting out of the room, leaving a confused Leon with a ruin of a room.

Within fifteen minutes, Merlin arrived in the clearing. The withered white dragon lay hunched on his side. Merlin's heart ached as he remembered the moment of Aithusa's birth. The little dragon had been so majestic and healthy. Now, he looked sickly, disfigured and thin. "What happened to you?" Merlin whispered softly. He raised a hand to touch the dragon, and Aithusa flinched. "It's alright Aithusa. I won't hurt you." The little dragon raised it's head and hesitantly allowed Merlin to put his hand on it's nose. Merlin could feel Aithusa quivering with fear. He closed his eyes and whispered a spell. The little dragon squeaked with surprise as her memories flew by. Her lonely upbringing by Kilgarrah. Finding Morgana alone and hurt. Years of torture in the pit. Fighting. Not being able to speak. Wars she did not understand. Death. Loneliness. Pain.

Merlin gasped, pulling away. Tears spilled silently down his cheeks. "I had no idea. I'm so sorry. So sorry that I did this to you." The white dragon hid her head under her wing. Merlin sat there for several minutes, contemplating the dragon. "It's alright. I'll take care of you now. I promise, you won't have to face the ages alone." the little dragon didn't look at him, and only curled herself into a smaller ball.

Merlin hurried back to the castle and burst into Gaius' chambers. The physician looked at him with visible relief. "Merlin, thank heavens you're alright! Where have you been?"

"I need supplies, Aithusa's hurt."

"He came to you?"

"She. She's a girl. I summoned her by accident, and she's hurt. I need bandages and some salve to fight infection, and something for the pain."

Gaius helped him to collect the supplies, the said "Merlin, I'd advise you keep her out of sight, for both your sakes."

"One last thing Gaius. What do dragons eat?"

"Meal. Lots and lots of meat, but they are also very fond of apples."

"Apples?"

"Apples."