Fair warning, this chapter clearly depicts a rape.

Feel free to skip it if it hurts your feelings.

Also, this chapter has been incredibly hard to write. I told you a while ago that I wrote the "seven dates" chapter to take my mind off a really difficult chapter? Well, this is the one.

But it was necessary.

Adrien waited, holding her close to his heart, letting his sincere words sink in. The way the young woman was clinging onto him felt like he had finally got through her, like he had broken a wall of some sort between them. They stood there for a few minutes, standing in the pouring rain listening to each other's heartbeat, before Marinette finally wrapped her slender arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder in a fashion similar to the night he had carried her to her bed. He remembered, smiling faintly against the crown of her head, how little she had felt in his arms that night, and how she had trusted him blindly with her safety.

That's when it dawned on him.

She had always trusted him. From the very beginning, with them being little more than mere acquaintances from the past, she had trusted him as a friend all along.

It was her broken heart she had had to learn to trust him with.

She was still clinging to his neck, her nose buried in his chest, sobbing softly. He hugged the young woman even more tightly.
"Let's get inside before you get sick, okay?"
Since Marinette didn't answer nor react, he scooped her up in his strong arms and brought her upstairs without releasing his grip on her lithe body the slightest. Adrien only willed himself to put her down, reluctantly, when they reached her door so she could let them both in. He took in how miserable she looked, eyes swollen by the tears she had shed, her wet clothes clinging to her shivering body, her bottom lip quivering with pent-up emotions. She sustained the inquiring gaze as the blond breathed softly:
"I mean every single word I said outside, Marinette."
The young woman sat down on her couch, wrapping her arms around herself again, just like when he had found her in the rain:
"I… I know you do."
Adrien sat beside her, taking her hands into his:
"Then why aren't you saying anything?"

The blackette shook her head, her eyes still full of shining tears:
"You deserve way better than me, Adrien. I can't… I just can't let you do this."
"Are you saying I don't deserve to be with the woman I love more than anything?"
That seemed to bring down her walls a little further, as Marinette let him scoot a little closer to her on the now very wet couch:
"Of course not. But I'm a mess, Adrien. I still have random panics attacks triggered by the stupidest things."
He smiled at her sympathetically:
"So? I'll be there right by your side to comfort you from now on, to help you overcome them."
"I've always been alone, ever since… that. I don't know how to be in a healthy relationship."
That time, Adrien shrugged a little more than necessary, trying to emphasize his point:
"I've always been alone, period. We'll learn on to build this together, that's all."
He could tell he was wearing her down slowly, inch by inch.
"People are going to dig out my past if you get too involved in my life. Your father won't like all the publicity if they find-"
"Is it because of the abortion? Adrien cut in, unable to bear her depreciating herself further. Because I swear to God Mari if you think any less of yourself because of that-"

She cut him short, horror clearly painted on her beautiful face:
"What? How? I never told anyone about this…"
Adrien's features softened considerably, his thumb gently caressing the back of her hand:
"You told Chat. On Alya and Nino's wedding night. You were drunk and asked me to call you. You began rambling before falling asleep, but I still caught the gist of it. When I found out you were... well, you, it all made sense."
She backed up from him just as he had just kicked her in the stomach. Her greatest secret, one she had guarded jealously, was out in the open, and she was the only one to blame. The designer visibly couldn't bring herself to look at the man before her, couldn't bear to read pity in the familiar green eyes. Adrien felt his heart break a little further at the obvious shame in her her slumped shoulders, the sadness in the way her fingers twitched together. He tried to take them into his hands, to ease her nervousness:
"I'm right here princess. You've been hurt, you've been through an awful lot alone, but you don't have to do this on your own anymore. It's okay."

She pried herself away from his touch:
"No, it's not! You deserve way better than what I can offer you, Adrien. I'm broken. I just can't do this. It would be unfair to you."
"You're far from broken, Mari. You're simply amazing, don't you see it? You're brave, kind, talented, gifted with an extraordinary imagination, loyal… You bring a ray of sunshine to every room you enter."
"Adrien, I can't… You-"
He cupped her cheek with his slender fingers, whispering softly:
"Stop thinking about me. I'm a grown man and I know what Adrien Agreste want. Stop being so selfless. What about you? What does Marinette Dupain-Cheng want? Don't bother about my feelings or my hopes. Be selfish for once in your life. What is it that you really want, princess?"
Marinette lowered her eyes, biting her lower lip nervously.
"You…" she breathed softly.

Adrien's eyes shot wide open hearing her answer. He had fully expected her to send him on his way and never ever wanted to speak to him again by then, which would have been well deserved by that point since he kept pushing her boundaries further and further trying to tear her barricades down. Marinette was still looking intently at the floor, though, nervously playing with her fingers, ignoring the way he was staring adoringly at her:
"I want to. I want to try. But… I can't be with you… if you don't know…"
He closed the distance between them on the couch, resting his hand on her knee reassuringly.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Mari. Your past is your past, it only belongs to you."
She shook her head, eyes stubbornly closed on her bluebell irises.
"No, I have to. Please. Otherwise, I'll always wonder if you'd left me should you found out."
The young man squeezed her knee softly, trying to be as comforting as he could without overwhelming her.

Marinette took a deep breath, as if she was trying to gather her thoughts and then spoke softly:
"Well, since I already told your alter ego all about it, there's no use trying to hide it from you. You probably already put two and two together already anyway. When we were in high school I used to have the biggest crush on you, and when you left for Toulouse I was utterly devastated. I hated myself for never having taken a chance and confess to you before it was too late. Nathanael took it upon himself to comfort me and help me get over you. One thing led to another, and soon enough, I had been dating him on and off for about six months and he began hinting constantly that he was ready to take our relationship to the next level. I wasn't. I just… I just wasn't sure yet I liked him enough for him to be my first, you know? I was still…" she blushed deeply, her thoughts trailing off. "I was still thinking an awful lot about you, Adrien, and it just didn't felt right. However, by that time Alya was more and more often spending the night in Nino's room and I felt terribly lonely, so Nate took a habit of sleeping with me when she wasn't there. Even though I never mentioned it to him, I knew he was cheating on me with Sabrina at that time, but I didn't mind that much since she was giving him something I wasn't ready to give yet and I wasn't that much in love with him anyway… One night-"

Her voice broke suddenly, and Adrien pulled her closer to him, snaking an arm around her shoulders, speaking in a comforting tone:
"It's okay Mari, take your time. You don't have to go on if you don't want to."
The young woman nodded gratefully and took a few seconds to compose herself before she went on, intertwining her fingers with his on her shoulder:
"One night, Nate came in my room way later than usual and he was acting weird, slouchy movements and tumbling over stuff in my room. When he tried to kiss me I noticed that he disgustingly reeked of alcohol, and he kept rambling nonsense about how every guy on his floor was currently banging their hot girlfriends while his was a nothing but a fake bitch unable to admit she was still in love with someone else-"
A single tear trailed down her cheek, and Adrien wiped it softly with his thumb. This seemed to prompt her to continue:
"He scared me, so I asked him to leave me alone. It only angered him further… He… he was so much stronger than me, and… I just couldn't do anything to stop him… He tackled me on the bed and… I screamed and kicked as much as I could… but in the end, he managed to rip my pajama pants apart…"
Marinette choked back on a single sob, and he drew reassuring circles on the small of her back, desperately trying to repress his own urges to go and hunt the redhead down. Marinette was finally coming out of her shell after all that time, and she needed him right then. When she spoke again, her voice was a little raw from the pain:
"It hurt like hell, but even if I was crying and sobbing it… it didn't stop him… He-he only stopped and pulled out when he heard Alya's key in the keyhole…"
She had a soft laugh, strangely out of place, but he understood that her emotions were all over the place and didn't mention it.
"I don't think he was even conscious of being dragged half naked out of my room by an enraged Nino going all berserk on him all while Alya's kept shrieking at him like a harpy completely out of her mind… She kept asking me where I was hurt, if I was okay, how far he'd go… And I was feeling so filthy, so much soiled… I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth. So I lied."

For the first time ever since she had begun to talk, her cerulean blue eyes met his. He flinched a little, reading that much pain, that much sorrow in them, but he tried with all his might to let nothing of it show in his gaze. She needed him to be understanding, loving and accepting of all of her, horrifying past experiences included. Not pitying her. Marinette sustained his gaze, going on:
"Three weeks later, I found myself a few days late on my period. I knew in my gut that something was wrong so I took a pregnancy test… It came out positive."
Adrien cupped her cheek again with his right hand, lacing the fingers of the left with hers, never averting his eyes from hers:
"I was alone and I was scared… I did the only thing I could think of at that moment… even if it truly broke my heart."

Choking back another sob, she brought up a hesitant hand to his face, gently tucking a strand of blond hair back:
"You really want me to be selfish, Adrien?"
He breathed quietly in answer, leaning in toward her so their lips were almost touching:
"More than anything princess."
Marinette closed her eyes, her fingers gently caressing the small patch of skin behind his ear.
"Then erase his touch on my skin. Replace those horrible memories with new ones."

I'm truly heartbroken right now. I don't wanna go on a lecture or anything, but I have a beautiful five-year-old daughter, and the mom in me can't let this slip without putting in her two cents.

No matter who your partner is, a stranger, a lover, a boyfriend, heck even a husband, you have the right to say no at any given time. Before, halfway through, right before the finish line...

Your body belongs to nobody else but you.

Now I'm going to resume crying my heart out with my sweet Marinette.