Chapter 5:
Santa Rosa: City Of Love pt. 1

''You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me.'' Patrick Dempsey as Derek Shepherd, Grey's Anatomy

She could feel her heart racing as she walked out of the airport gate. She knew he was waiting for her on the other side, she was really doing this. She was going to stay at her ex-husband's house for a week.

Andy could see him standing there, waiting for her, he looked… giddy, almost. Seemed like he was more excited than she was. On the plane ride from Chicago – to drop of Lizzy at her grandparent's house – to California, she had been left alone with her thoughts. She thought she had been nervous before, but now…

''Hi,'' Les greeted her, hesitantly taking a step towards her. After their divorce they didn't talk all that much but lately they had become closer again, talking more often and he was genuinely looking forward to spending the week with her. But he was nervous, just like he knew she was. After their divorce she had moved on pretty well, and now he didn't know what she thought of their relationship. What did she expect from him?

''Hi,'' Andy couldn't help it; a smile was spreading on her face. It seemed to be the automatic reaction whenever she saw him. She dropped the suitcases she had been holding – one in each hand – and wrapped her arms around him, breathing in his scent.

This was going to be okay. They were going to spend the week together, it was really happening. Andy took a deep breath as they broke away from each other. It had been almost three months since they last saw each other and they were e-mailing each other at least once a week, but God… she couldn't believe how much she had missed him.

''You look… beautiful,'' Les told her as he looked her up and down. When they were married he had gotten used to her, seeing each other every day, waking up to the same face, after a certain amount of years he had simply grown accustomed to it. He hadn't appreciated being with her as much. Looking back on that he felt foolish, but it made him more glad that he was getting another chance.

Andy could feel a blush spreading on her face, ''thank you.'' She told him as he grabbed the bags from the floor. ''I can carry them,'' she started before he looked back up at her.
''That's okay, I've got them,'' he responded. He took in the appreciative smile she gave him, ''you ready to go?''

Andy looked over at Les as they were driving down a long road of apartment buildings, shops, bars, nightclubs and anything else a person would expect in a city such as Santa Rosa – where she had only just found out Les now lived. They were heading to his house, his apartment, she assumed. She had never actually asked him where he lived, or how he lived. She barely knew a thing about where he worked; only knowing it was a job in software development.

They had met through mutual friends back in college. She was studying at West Point while he was studying aerospace engineering down at NYU Polytechnic School of Engineering. They had gotten married in the summer of 1972, before either of them had even graduated. After graduation Les had started working for NASA as she joined the military.

He had worked on the Hubble Telescope as well as several other projects at NASA before his mind strayed to other interests. It wasn't until years later that he decided to pursue a career in software programming and he had started his own business in the spring of 1987, right before they found out they were going to have a baby: Jesse.
Through his changes in interest she had remained focused on her goal: to one day become Surgeon General. They had made it work through her being on deployment on the other side of the world, his uncertainty about his own business, and unexpected pregnancy number two.

Andy couldn't help but think of their marriage – more specifically the beginning of it – as she was now here with him. Embarking on what could possibly be the start of a new relationship between them. They had remained friends after their divorce, at least; that's what they had told everybody. They barely talked; he only ever called her so she could hand the phone to either one of their daughters. But the connection they had had since they first met had always remained. And they were becoming closer and closer.

She looked over at him, in her mind comparing him to when she first met him. He had a mustache back then – it had been the '70s after all, he had a small bald spot on the back of his head, wrinkles around his eyes. He had changed in so many ways, physically and otherwise: his personality and interests where forever changing, and what he meant to her was changing just as often. From love of her life, to practically a stranger to… she wasn't sure what he was to her now. But that didn't mean she wasn't eager to find out.

Les threw her a quick glance, having noticed her staring at him, ''what is it?'' He asked her as he looked back at the road. He was a bad enough driver – an unfortunate trait he had passed down to Jesse – without Andy distracting him.

Andy smiled at him with a shrug, ''nothing.'' She told him. ''Just thinking… about… stuff.'' She mumbled. She knew she was giving her feelings away, Les knew her well enough to know that she only stumbled on her words like this when she had feelings for someone. He had seen it happen when she was still dating Archie, back when they first met.

''Home sweet home,'' Les proclaimed as he pulled into a driveway which led to a rather spacious home. ''At least for the next week,'' he told Andy as he looked over at her. Seeing the surprised look on her face as she eyed the house, he frowned, ''what?'' He asked her as he took of his seatbelt.

Andy shrugged, trying to hide her surprise but knowing he could see right through her, ''it's just… not what I expected,'' she told him. When he gave her a look she rushed to explain, ''I just meant that I thought you lived in an apartment,'' she told him.

''I did at first,'' Les explained as he stepped out of the car and rushed to the passenger side to open Andy's door for her. ''But then Jesse and Lizzy came to stay and it- there just wasn't enough room.'' He told her. ''So when I got my new job I started looking for a house and I got a great deal on this one.'' Admittedly, it was rather big for him just by himself but when his and Andy's daughters came to stay with him it was perfect.

As they walked down the driveway to the front door Andy eyed the house. The contemporary home with a two-car garage was probably bigger than her own house, she knew she shouldn't be this surprised but she couldn't help it.

Les opened the front door and let her walk in first. ''Jesse and Lizzy's bedrooms as well as my own are all upstairs, the guest bedroom is downstairs,'' he told Andy and he pointed to the hall off the foyer, ''it's down that hallway.'' He watched Andy nod in response before leading her to the French doors that led to the living room.

Andy trailed behind him as he walked through an archway on the left side of the room which appeared to lead to the kitchen/dining room combination. The house… fitted Les, somehow. The high ceilings with tall windows, the fireplace, black leather couches… it all had a sleek look to it. It fitted him better than the furniture in her house, the home they had once shared.

His voice snapped her from her thoughts, ''do you want some water?'' He asked her from the other room.
''Sure,'' she responded as she sat down on the loveseat and her eye fell on one of the pictures on the side table. It was Les with… she didn't know who. A dark-haired woman with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. She could feel an uncomfortable feeling deep inside. She and Les had been communicating back and forth for a couple of months now – aside from seeing each other every once in a while.

In his e-mails he had been flirty, suggestive even. He had been very clear that he wanted her back, not just as a friend but as a lover. Okay, maybe he hadn't said it outright but she could read him just as well as he could her, and to her it had been clear as crystal. The way he had responded to her confession that she loved him a couple of months ago was the only reason she was here in the first place.

If it hadn't been for that she would be at work right now. She didn't come to California for the medical conference; she considered those – along with an endless stream of paperwork – to be one of the downsides to the job she loved so much. She was here because of him, to be with him, to see if there was a chance they could make things work.

Andy looked up when she heard Les re-entering the room with two water bottles, stopping dead in his track when he saw her with the picture. He had meant to put it away before she came over. It took him a few seconds before he resumed walking over to her, albeit this time a bit slower. He handed her one of the bottles and took the picture from her, laying it –face down – back on the side table.

''Who is she?'' Andy asked him. She knew from the love she had seen in that picture that she most likely wasn't going to like his answer.
''Georgia,'' Les answered simply as he sat down next to her. ''Georgia Thompson. Ex-girlfriend, we broke up last week.'' He could see her mind racing and he too remembered all the things he had written to her over the past couple of months – while he was still with Georgia. ''After Milo passed away I knew you weren't going to want to be in a relationship, I could see how much you loved him. And it made me figure that I should move on. And when I met Georgia I decided to just go for it.''

''Just go for it?'' Andy asked him, she knew that her tone of voice would immediately give away how upset she was, but she didn't care. She didn't care if he knew how much she cared. ''You moved on to be with somebody else because I wasn't ready to be with you? And yet, despite that, you lead me on for months, letting me believe that maybe there was a chance that one day- something- anything- could happen between us? You let me believe that you had feelings for me,'' she told him. It hurt to know he had tricked her like this, but she'd rather find out now then later down the road.

''I didn't just move on because you weren't ready,'' Les tried to explain. ''Georgia is sweet, and she understood me, she was there for me, and she wanted to be in a relationship-''
''If she was so perfect then why did you break up with her?'' Andy retorted. She wished she didn't care – she wished she could just tell him to forget about her and move on with this Georgia person.

Les hesitated for a moment, ''she isn't you.'' He told her softly.
Andy looked at him angrily, ''cut that romantic bullshit,'' she told him. She never used foul language, but she couldn't think of a better moment to make an exception. ''You lied to me. You don't get to lead me on for months; flirting with me, telling me you love me,'' her voice broke at the end of that sentence and she couldn't help but be angry about that. ''You can't do that and then try to make it all right with just one sentence.''

''I know it isn't fair,'' Les told her. ''But I didn't lie. I do love you. And I do want to be with you. I wanted to know if I still had a chance with you but while you weren't ready, she was there for me. And then when you told me you were going to be here and we made plans for this week… I decided it had been long enough and I broke it off with her.'' He could see Andy look down at her hands and he couldn't read her. Knowing she was dealing with mixed emotions he took her hands in his own, ''I'm sorry, but I promise: me and Georgia are over.''

Andy looked up at him and let out a sigh, looking away. She didn't want to have to deal with this but she was here now, she wanted to make this work, ''completely over?'' She asked him. She couldn't be with him if he had any feelings left for Georgia which made her hate herself – she still had feelings for Milo and the only reason she was even considering a relationship with Les and not him was because he was dead. But yet she couldn't take it if Les had feelings for anyone else.

Les bit his lip and hesitated, not sure if Andy was ready to hear this out-loud and in person, ''I love you.'' He told her. It had been the first time in a long time that he had actually told her that out loud. He had told her that lots of time as they were e-mailing, but it hadn't meant as much. That had just been a way to end his e-mail, to reassure her that perhaps he deserved another chance. He could see the look on her face change and he knew what she was thinking without her saying a word. ''I'm okay with the fact that you still have feelings for Milo,'' he told her.

Les looked up from the book in his lap when he heard a knock on his bedroom door. He glanced over at the clock, almost 11:45 pm. He and Andy had both decided to turn in early and he hadn't heard from her since she had settled into the guestroom downstairs. He closed his book but kept it in his lap as he cleared his throat, ''come in.'' He responded as he sat up a little straighter. Just being around his now ex-wife made him nervous. To him it felt there was so much unfinished business and it seemed that this week that might be resolved. He didn't know if it would lead to them getting back together or to them breaking up whatever it was that they going on at the moment.

Andy opened the door just enough to poke her head in, smiling at Les, ''hi,'' she said and almost rolled her eyes at what she had just said. Of all the things she could've said she went with 'hi'?
Les smiled back at her, part of him wondering what brought her to his bedroom and part of him not caring. ''Hi,'' he responded when she didn't continue.

''I hope I'm not interrupting anything,'' Andy said as she opened the door a bit further and leaned in the doorway - attempting to act casually.
''Nothing going on in here,'' Les said as he motioned at his book. He resisted the urge to swallow hard at what she was wearing: a silky, short nightgown that he knew she wouldn't be wearing unless she had very specific plans.

''Do you mind if I come in?'' Andy asked. She closed her eyes for a moment at how ridiculous that question was. She knew that she was moving faster than she normally would but it had been a long time since she had been with anyone but herself, and she missed it. Besides… Les wanted her. Simple as that. He had made it clear over and over again that he wanted them to get back together. He had even gone to anger management therapy after he had profusely refused to do that.

Les shifted a bit, trying to remain comfortable, ''sure.'' He said and he watched her inch closer to the bed, closing the door behind her.
Andy could feel the nervousness in the pit of her stomach. They both knew she could be a bit awkward when it came to sex. Having only been with Milo - who had died - and the man who was sitting on the bed in front of her, she didn't have a lot of experience. It wasn't that she was worried he would reject her, she knew he would never do that, but that didn't take away from the fact that she wasn't all that comfortable with trying to be sexy.

There was trunk at the end of the bed and she stepped on it, it gave her just enough of a boost to be able to lower herself onto the bed on her knees, inching closer to Les, her legs on either side of his'. When she was almost chest-to-chest with him she sat back on her heels, straddling his lap. Taking the book from his, ''Does Santa Exist?'' She chuckled as she put it down on the nightstand.

''It's a good book,'' Les defended to her as his mind raced, 'where do I put my arms?' He asked himself. He settled on putting his hands on her legs, just above the knee. If it was different circumstances he would've never done that, but considering Andy's bold move he decided it was okay. He watched her look back to him, her hands resting on his arms. When she licked her lips - not even intending to be seductive - he groaned.

Andy softly giggled, sort of a rare occurrence for her, and dropped her own hands to hold his'. When Les smiled at her she couldn't help but melt a little bit. It had been so long since she had been in bed with another person, but she was glad it was him. He knew her, better than she knew herself, and he accepted her just the way she was.
Since Milo died she had been struggling with getting back into the dating world. Part of her didn't want to move on, in denial that the man she had considered the love of her life, was gone. But she couldn't do that any longer. She had to get back out there. Sure, she had Jesse and Lizzy, but she needed more. She needed somebody she could love, who would love her right back. A partner, a soul-mate even. She needed Les. And not just for this week, but for however long he would have her.

Andy hesitated for a moment before leaning in, softly brushing her lips against his'. Pulling away after a few seconds to see his reaction, she immediately missed the sensation of it. She watched him as he sat in front of her with his eyes closed, savoring the moment. She swallowed hard as she moved one hand up to his chest, over his heart. ''I've wanted to do that for a long time,'' she confessed to Les in a whisper.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her, ''I've wanted you to do that for a long time,'' he told her. It wasn't entirely true though; he actually wished she had never stopped doing it in the first place – but he couldn't tell her that. He had moved on while they were apart, and he didn't know if she knew that he had never stopped wanting her.
He sat pretty still, waiting to see what her next move would be. He figured he should leave it all up to her. He knew she still struggled with Milo dying and he didn't want to rush her into anything, he was an impatient man – he was well aware of that – but for her he could make an exception. For her he would make any exception needed.