Chapter Eighty Six

Jasper

Esme and Carlisle's visit had gone so well I decided to ask Bella if she would like to meet my other sister and her boyfriend.

"I guess so, everyone has been so nice to me, I feel a bit of a fraud just sitting here. Maybe I should try going out for a walk. will you come with me?"

I was more than happy to help Bella take her first steps back into the world so she wrapped up in the new jacket that had arrived along with a pile of other packages this morning.

Bella had looked at them in bewilderment,

"I never ordered all this. Rose and I were really careful not to spend too much."

"Bella, you'll find the whole family are very generous. Rose probably ordered a few things you had commented you liked on top of the things you two agreed on."

"But I can't take this, you shouldn't be spending all this money and Rose had no right to order so much."

I stopped her with a hug, when what I really wanted to do was to kiss her.

"Bella, its fine, we're just so glad to have you back safe and you'll get used to our ways soon enough."

She took my hand and we walked to the door then I waited for her to nod her head before opening it. She stiffened and bit her lip but after some hesitation she took the first step out of the apartment before stopping again. For a moment I thought her fear would overcome her but then she nodded and we walked down the corridor to the elevator but once it stopped and the doors slid open she baulked,

"I can't get in there, what if the doors stick and I can't get out again?"

"They won't but its not a problem, we'll take the stairs, its only two flights."

She looked at me and smiled,

"Thank you for not pushing it Jazz."

"Bella I will never push you into anything but I will encourage you and I will always be at your side."

She nodded a little sadly and I wondered if she were thinking it was a shame I hadn't made that promise before she left for her vacation, I certainly did.

Bella

I was terrified but if I gave in to my terror I would become a prisoner once more and although my prison would be much nicer than the cellar it would still be a prison. I had to make the effort to go out even though I was terrified I might meet another Victor Mendoza. Jasper seemed confident he could keep me safe but then I was sure Phil had felt the same before he was shot dead.

The corridor was empty which was a relief but I couldn't step into the elevator, I was terrified of being trapped in there so we took the stairs which were also deserted. At the bottom I hesitated then pushed the swing door open and stepped into the lobby. As I did so a man came through the street door and I froze, my heart pounding and my hands shaking so much Jasper's grip tightened on the one he held.

"Its OK Bella, it's only another tenant, we'll wait until he's passed and then try the street door. Anytime you feel the need to stop just say so and we'll go back, you're doing really well."

The man stepped into the elevator and the door slid closed, only then did I relax a little and start to move again, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other rather than look at the door. I heard Jazz push it open and panic almost overwhelmed me but I gripped his hand more tightly and stepped out into the street, straight into people walking along, some hurrying, others dawdling and I stopped. Any one of these could be another Mendoza ready to attack, to snatch me and lock me back in a cellar. Beat me, starve me and even possibly ra…..assault me. They all looked normal and non threatening but that didn't mean they were. I wouldn't have run screaming from him before I knew what lay behind that bland exterior.

"I can't do this Jazz. I don't know who's a friend and who a foe. How do I tell if there's someone here like…...like him?"

My voice had dropped to a whisper as my eyes darted madly from side to side looking for any sign of danger.

"I promise to keep you safe Bella. Lets just walk to the cafe, it's only a few steps and then you can sit down, have a skinny latte with caramel, your favorite."

I wanted to shake my head, to beg him to take me back but if I did that Victor had won and I refused to allow that, allow him to destroy my life so I nodded. We walked slowly to the cafe but I cringed every time someone came too close to us. Inside it was quiet and I sat in one of the high backed booths with a sigh of relief. I was safe here, no one could come up behind me. no one was likely to attack me in such a public place.

Jasper gave my order to the server, I couldn't find the words and then took my hand again in his,

"See Bella, you're stronger than you thought."

I smiled weakly, yes I was stronger than I thought, I'd forced myself to do this and when my drink arrived I took it rewarding myself with a sip of hot liquid that tasted divine.

When it came time to leave the panic welled up again, I was about to leave this oasis of safety and brave the street again. Grasping Jasper's hand I looked straight ahead trusting that he would keep me safe as he promised and he did but I was relieved to pass through the street door into the lobby of our building. It was deserted which was a relief and we retraced our footsteps up the stairs and back to our apartment.

As we reached the door I saw a flash of memory, Jasper and I kissing as he unlocked this door, a memory that made me feel good for a few seconds and I wished he would do it again right now but instead he opened the door and stood aside for me to enter the sanctuary of the apartment. I felt a sense of achievement but I wondered at the same time how long it would be before I was strong enough to walk out of here alone.

The phone rang as I sat down and Jazz answered it then turned to me,

"Its Charlie, he wants to speak to you."

My feelings of achievement flew away with those few words. My dad had finally decided to speak to me but he wasn't visiting just calling me. I bit my lip then nodded, after realizing I couldn't put off the evil moment. I was relieved when Jazz sat down beside me and took my free hand smiling at me in encouragement.

"Dad?"

"Bella, how are you?"

"Better than I was. Dad I'm sorry, I wish I could have done something…."

Words tumbled over each other trying to get out, apologies for not saving Renee, for getting kidnapped, for worrying him, they sounded stupid even to me but I couldn't stop them until he called my name loudly,

"Bella. No one blames you for what happened, least of all me. I'm just grateful you survived your ordeal, that you lived. There was nothing you could have done baby."

His words washed over me like a calming blanket and suddenly I wanted to see him.

"Will you come visit dad? Please?"

He hesitated,

"I will baby but there's something I need to do first. I'll ring you again though."

When I handed the receiver back to Jazz I wasn't sure whether to feel glad I had heard from Charlie or disappointed he wasn't coming to see me. As I thought about the conversation I realized there had been something odd, Charlie sounded different from the way I remembered him. Memories came then, Charlie bursting into a room, Charlie fighting with Jazz, both of them injured but no blood. The words burst from my mouth before I could stop them,

"There was no blood."