Chapter 4: The Art of Feminine Problems
A/N: Hello again. This little one-shot is in response to a challenge issued by Laughter's Tears on the Stealthy Stories forums. She issued the challenge to have the Turtles go out and buy feminine products. So, here's my response to the challenge featuring Leo and Aubree. As a rule, I usually have Aubree tell the whole story, but for this one, I'm having it split into first and third person perspective. Enjoy.
I woke up to severe cramps. It felt like someone was punching me in the stomach, and I knew my period had arrived. Luckily I had prepared myself for it and had on two pads. I hurried into the bathroom to change only to discover that there were only two pads left in both boxes. As a rule, I would normally have two pads on because just having one wasn't enough. Sighing in frustration, I did what I needed to do and then left the bathroom. While I could've gone myself to get the items, the cramps were too severe for me to leave. I was glad this was my day off because I wasn't in the mood to deal with worthless punks. The only option I had was to call the guys and ask if one of them would do it.
I quickly got my cell phone out and dialed Leo's number since it was the one I could remember. There were two rings before he picked up.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hey, Leo, it's Aubree," I said. "Um, I need you to do me a favor."
"Okay, what is it?" Leo asked.
"I need you to go to the store and get me some feminine products," I answered.
"Feminine products?" he repeated. "Uh, I don't know what you mean."
"I mean stuff women use when they're on their period," I replied. "You do know what a period is, right?"
"Yeah, Donnie told me all about that," Leo answered.
"Well, I'm out of stuff, and I need it," I told him. "Could you do that for me?"
"Why can't you go?" Leo asked me.
"Because I have severe cramps, and I can barely move," I responded. "Please, Leo, this is the only thing I'll ever ask you to do. You can do this as a friend, right?"
I heard him sigh. "Yeah, I can do this," he said. "I'll go right now and be at your apartment in no time."
"Thanks, you're a life saver," I said graciously.
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"So, what was that about?" Raph asked after Leo hung up the phone.
"Aubree wants me to go out and get feminine products for her," Leo replied, a blush tinting his cheeks.
Raph burst out laughing. "Oh, man, you're in for it now!" he said. "That's suicide for a man. You should hear Casey talk about doin' that for April. It's one of the worst things a man can go through."
Leo bristled. "I think I can handle it, Raph!" he snapped. "How hard can it be?"
He found out how hard it was when he arrived at the store. He was heavily disguised and had permission from Splinter to be out because it was an emergency. He looked down different aisles to see if he could spot what Aubree wanted. Where the shell could it be? He'd have to ask someone. He spotted a woman who was stocking dog food and went up to her. Maybe she'd know.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but could you tell me where the feminine products are?" Leo asked her.
"Sure, they're in aisle six next to the adult diapers," she responded in a cheerful voice.
Elated that he now knew the location of the products, he hurried to aisle six and then stopped dead. There were so many brands, he didn't know what to look for. Kotex, Tampax, Stayfree, Always. There were pads with wings, pads without wings, and even tampons. Not only that, but there were different types for different periods. There were products for heavy flow and products for small flow. How the shell was he going to know what she wanted? He had to call her. He dialed her number and let it ring three times before she picked up.
"Yeah, Leo, what is it?" she asked.
"Um, which brand do you get?" he asked. "There are so many here, I don't know what to get you."
"Well, I usually get two types," she replied. "I get Always brand maxi pads with wings, the overnight type. They're in a dark green package. I think there's twenty-eight in there. Then I get the Stayfree regular pads, and I think there's forty-eight in that one. It's in a purple package. You can't miss it."
"Okay, thanks," Leo said. He found the items she'd requested and hurried to the checkout line. He was stuck behind a woman with a squalling baby, but that wasn't the problem he had. In front of the mother, he noticed a familiar hulking shape and a blond ponytail. No, Hun couldn't possibly be here now! He was so glad he was disguised and hoped that Hun wouldn't notice him. Luckily, Hun paid for his stuff (Who would have thought he'd do that?) and moved on. Then the mother paid for her purchases and left, leaving Leo to pay for the things he had in his hand.
"You find everything okay?" the cashier asked him.
"Yes, I did," Leo replied.
"Good," she said. She gave him the total, and he paid for the items. Then he took the plastic bag and hurried out of the store as fast as he could go. He was thankful it was daytime and that no Foot Ninjas were around. What if he'd had to fend off an attack while carrying maxi pads? The thought made him laugh a little at the very idea, and he kept laughing all the way to Aubree's apartment.
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I heard the knock on the door and got off the couch to answer it. Leo was there with the items in his hand. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Leo," I said. "You really are a life saver. I'm so glad you found the stuff."
"Yeah, it wasn't easy," Leo replied. "I really have to hand it to you girls. You know more about this stuff than men like us do."
"Yeah, we do," I said. "Trust me, you wouldn't want to be in my shoes for anything."
"I'm sure I wouldn't," he replied. "Anyway, it's no problem that I was able to help you. However, you owe me for this one."
I laughed. "What did you have in mind?" I teased.
Leo smiled. "Next time we have a movie night, I'm picking the movie," he said. "And you have to let me teach you some ninjitsu moves."
"Okay, deal," I said. I had refused to learn any ninjitsu because I felt it would compromise with my cop training. Plus, it just didn't interest me, but now I had no choice. I guess that's the price you pay for having your guy friend get you maxi pads.
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"So, how'd it go?" Raph asked when Leo arrived back at the Lair.
Leo thought about bragging about how it was no big deal and how he'd handled it with ease, but he knew he couldn't lie to his brother like that. "Honestly, it was the worst thing I've ever had to do," he replied.
"Even worse than getting attacked by Shredder's Foot Ninjas," Mikey chimed in.
"Yes, even worse than that," Leo responded.
"Well, now you can appreciate how hard it is for women to go through all of that," Don said.
"Trust me, my respect for them has doubled," Leo told him.
"Well, I am glad that Miss Henningan has the items she requested," Splinter said. "It was a good thing you offered to go and get the items for her. There is a valuable lesson to be learned from this."
"And what's that, Sensei?" Leo asked.
"Always remember to never refuse a woman during her time of the month," Splinter said. "It will always end in consequences. Mr. Jones should be the example of that."
Raph laughed. "Yeah, I remember when he refused April, she belted him one," he said. "You better hope Aubree doesn't do that to you, Leo."
"I don't think she will," Leo said. "But if I ever have to do that again, she's going to owe me one every time. I wouldn't go through that again for anything."
"While I can understand your plight, my son, I do not think Aubree owes you anything for such a deed," Splinter said. "You are a true friend, and you did what you did because you knew she could not go herself. Sometimes we must do things we are uncomfortable with because life demands that we do. I assure you that I did not want to clean up your messes before you were trained to use the bathroom, but I did so because I had to. Do you understand, my son?"
"Yes, Sensei, but I still don't like it," Leo said. He made a note to write down the brands Aubree requested just in case he had to do this again. And no matter what Splinter said, Leo was still going to make Aubree pay for putting him in such an uncomfortable situation.
A/N: So, that's the end of that chapter. I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you had fun reading it. Feel free to leave me a review. Have a shelltastic day. And I want to reiterate that having your period sucks. Men have no idea how lucky they are. They truly don't.