So, this was never meant to be super long, but kinda turned into that. I wanted to see her let him come to Israel with her. I at least want to see her get revenge... And then I'm not sure what to do with the rest. I love TIVA, but I am starting to question whether they could really really end up together. I don't think Ziva can let him in that much. Anyways, we'll see where it goes, but thanks for reading!
Tony woke up with an armful of Ziva and had to process what had happened. As the events of the night before came back to him the grin on his face grew. He felt so close to her, the evening before had been the sweetest time he'd ever had with her- and that was before they'd had sex. They had finally crossed the line! Hopefully this morning they'd get to talk and everything would be out in the open.
He watched her sleep for awhile and couldn't resist kissing her forehead. She stirred a little he watched her yawn and fall right back into his arms. They weren't in a hurry today. The memorial wasn't for a few days. They didn't have to get anywhere just yet. They could take their time and enjoy the morning, other then there was a third person in this party. At least he didn't need to be jealous of Adam anymore. She had ended up with himself not Adam. It was good to see Ziva relaxed and happy again even if just for an evening. He reminded himself that she just lost her father and would not be herself entirely for some time. But last night had been a start.
Tony didn't want to get up yet but he really had to pee. He didn't want to lose this moment, so he kissed her again, put his hands on her cheek softly, and tangled his hands through her hair. She was so beautiful! He eased held off the bed and into the bathroom.
Ziva woke with the feeling of sudden coldness on the side where Tony had been. She heard someone in the bathroom and hoped he'd come right back to bed with her. She fuzzily thought through their night and had to smile. He was so sweet and kind. They had so much fun. She couldn't decide what her favorite part of the night had been. It was perfect.
When Tony came out of the bathroom, he came back over and saw her awake, "did I wake you sweet cheeks?" He asked with a grin. She laughed at the memory and pulled him back into bed with her. She kissed him and held his face with her hands.
"Tony, I'm so happy..." She started but he noticed fear in her eyes. He turned entirely to her now and tried to figure out what she was feeling.
"Is there a but to this happiness?" He asked.
She looked confused and stopped to look at him, "I don't know what you mean Tony?"
"I didn't mean to interrupt you. Finish what you were going to say."
"I- it's taken..." She paused to looked to him for help. "We've taken so long to get... Well here Tony. Now that we are, here what...how..." She sighed, there was so much to take about and it was frustrating to have sex one moment and not being able to tell of her very real feelings the next. "There's a lot to say Tony"
"I know, you're right there is Ziva. But it's you and me, we never seem to get to the real issues."
She nodded. She gulped frightened but determined to tell him everything. How she felt about him, that she wasn't sure she could live in DC anymore and have this job, that everyone she loved seemed to die and she was afraid of him dying too, all of these things came to the surface all at once and instead of telling him she fell apart crying instead.
He held her close and stroked her hair while she cried. He hated seeing her like this but was also glad she was getting it out. He needed to remember why they were in Israel in the first place. There was a lot going on in Ziva's heart and he needed to be patient. When the sobs let up he looked down at her, "want to talk or have breakfast?" He asked, giving her a way out of talking for now.
She looked determined and said "we need to talk..."
He was surprised by her answer and sat up so he could focus on what she was saying. She waited long moments seeming to struggle within herself. Tony took her hand and kissed it "why don't I start?" He asked with a smile and she looked relieved. He took a deep breath and started slowly. "Ziva for a long...I thought that I was just attracted to you- and I mean I was attracted. Since we met actually and the first words out of your mouth were phone sex!" And he laughed for a minute, "then I started to let myself realize that it was much more then attraction." He stopped and watched her. "Our job is so interesting, because we have to put everything on the line for each other daily. And that itself forms a bond... So I couldn't tell what was our job, and what was attraction and what was something very real growing between us. It started small, but it has grown to be...much bigger then either of us. I have never had a...friendship as deep as ours. You really are my best friend, in so many ways." He could see her melting next to him so he stopped and gave her a reassuring look. "You ok? Not ready to hear this yet?"
She gulped and took a minute to compose herself, "I am".
"Ok" and he want back to his confession, "so many people were telling me that I had feelings for you. And I just couldn't admit it to myself. I struggled with it all for so long, I have wasted so much time..."he shook his head, " but it's true. I love you Ziva. I don't think I can place an exact time on when that happened. It was slow, with different points in our friendship making it clearer and clearer. Some how our time in the elevator about a year ago shook it lose, cause that was when I couldn't deny it anymore. But I don't know when it started. There are so many moments that have led us down this path."
She breathed deep and couldn't help but throw herself into his arms. They hugged for a long moment and both had tears in their eyes. She backed up so she could look at him again, and started talking, "I struggle with a lot of things Tony. And there is so much in me and part of me that I don't like and am afraid of... A lot of times I run away- like I don't deserve the good when I have it. You have never let me get far in running away from you. You are the only one that has ever really come after me." She got choked up at that and cried again. His eyes were teary too, they were really doing this, she knew his heart toward her and it felt good. "I couldn't admit until recently that I cared for you as much as I do. I tried to put it off for so long." She smiled " between dead boyfriends, cars exploding with you in them, and watching you love a beautiful dr...there wasn't a lot of time to admit these things." He smiled too, "but this year...something has changed. And it scares me to my core Tony. I have a lot of fears and concerns about the future. But I do know, that I love you."
They kissed passionately at that and all of the emotions, stress and desire that had held them up for so long was out to better use in that hotel room.
They were laying down holding each other tenderly when they realized that it was around noon and Adam was probably waiting for them somewhere. This so much more important, and neither felt too badly about taking the time that they had taken, but they did need to get going now. How would they be able to hide what just transpired between them neither knew!