Chapter Ninety Three

Bella

I knew I was being unreasonable in not giving Jasper a chance to speak but I was so angry and not only with him. He was getting the backlash for my hatred of the man who had done this to me, my frustration at my own timidity, and the hurt I felt because Charlie, my own father, was avoiding me. He sat there, his face showing the hurt and guilt as I continued to rage at him.

"I thought I could trust you. The one constant in my life. The one person I could believe in but I was wrong. Who do I have left? My dad is avoiding me, you lied to me along with your "sister" and the others. I'm all alone and afraid."

I sank to my knees sobbing but fought him off when he tried to cuddle me.

"Go away. You lied to me, I don't trust you any more."

"I never lied to hurt you Bella. I lied to keep you safe. My secret is dangerous for you but I knew I would have to come clean. I intended telling you when you got back from your camping trip."

I looked up furious,

"Oh well I'm very sorry to ruin your well laid plans. I tell you what, why don't we just call it a day now. I'll pack my bags and ring my dad, if he's even going to answer knowing its me."

I scrambled up and ran for the bedroom door only to find him standing there barring my way.

"Bella, please listen to me. Let me tell you the truth and then you'll understand why I didn't tell you earlier."

I looked at him dumbfounded, how had he beaten me to the door? I hadn't even seen him move.

Jasper

Bella was getting more and more upset and I had to calm her but I couldn't use my gift, that would only make her more suspicious of me so I pulled her close feeling the heat of her body through her dress. She struggled briefly but I refused to let go then she collapsed into me sobbing uncontrollably. It hurt me to feel her suffering but I just stroked her back and hushed her gently until she eventually stopped, once there were no more tears to fall.

Picking her up I carried her to the couch and sat down still holding her tight and offered her a tissue from the box on the table which she took from me with a whispered "thanks", her throat was too sore from crying to speak any louder.

"Bella, listen to me but before I tell you the truth I need you to believe that I will never hurt you, I am no threat to you, I love you."

She blew her nose and crumpled the tissue up in her fist so I handed her another.

"I didn't tell you at first because I was scared, frightened I would lose you, and scared they would find out you knew and hurt you."

She pulled back and I saw her eyes were sore and her nose red yet she still looked incredibly beautiful to me.

"Who? I don't understand, you're talking in riddles. Just tell me."

I took a deep breath praying this was not the point where I lost her for ever.

"I lied about my illness, I'm not sick, there is no genetic defect to blame for the way I am."

She looked at me still frustrated,

I still don't understand."

"I lied because the truth is far more terrifying and difficult to admit to….Bella I'm not like you. I was born in 1844 in Houston Texas and I was transformed when I was 19. There's no gentle way to tell you what I really am so I'm just going to give it to you straight. I am a vampire. I found my way to the Cullens and they helped me to live on animal blood instead of human, showed me a new way of life, and became my family. Rose and I tell everyone we are orphaned twins fostered by Esme and are all vampires, the whole family. That's why the bullet didn't harm me, it wouldn't matter if someone shot or stabbed me, they can't kill me. And it's why I could tell you I would never let anyone harm you again and mean it. No one could ever hurt you without going through me and there's no one alive with the ability to do that."

"Then why is it so dangerous for me to know the truth? You said you were scared they would find out I knew and hurt me. Who? Who are they?"

"The Volturi, they rule our world and it's against the law for humans to know our secret, for us to expose ourselves. That's why I was so secretive, why I lied."

Bella

I pulled free of him and slid to the floor trying to make sense of everything. They were vampires? It was crazy, I didn't believe in vampires or monsters or ghosts, it was completely stupid. But I'd seen a bullet hit him and not harm him and a gun mangled beyond use by him using only his bare hands so what was a rational explanation? I couldn't think of a single one. My world made no sense, everything I thought I understood had been blown apart first by the kidnapper and now by Jasper. I was drifting in an alien world with no anchor.

Suddenly terrified I jumped up running to the kitchen and grabbing a carving knife before I remembered how he had beaten me to the bedroom door but when I whirled around he sat where I'd left him watching me and looking unutterable sad and wounded. Looking down at the knife I wondered if I would have the courage to use it even if he did attack but I didn't drop it. I just pointed it at him,

"I want the truth Jasper, not some crazy story about vampires. You say you love me, then prove it, just tell me the truth."

He got up and walked slowly towards me, his hands held at his sides.

"Stop, don't you come any nearer."

He didn't stop he just kept walking and I held the knife out in front of me warning him to halt before I hurt him. The next thing I knew he had taken the knife blade first in his hand and closed his fingers around it then drew his hand back and opened it. There was no blood, no mark at all, and the knife dropped from my nerveless fingers but before it hit the floor he caught it and put it on the counter top.

I had no idea what to do now, how to act, my feet felt as if there was only air beneath them and I found myself falling but I never hit the floor either. Instead I found myself in Jasper's arms, his golden eyes looking into my face anxious,

"Bella? Are you OK? I am so sorry, do you want me to call your father?"

"No"

I looked at him and something struck me,

"Tell me is he a vampire too? Is that why he won't come see me? Did you turn him?"

"No, it was Peter but he had no choice, Charlie was stabbed trying to find you and he was dying when Peter found him."

I shook my head unable to speak, all I wanted to do was to sleep and wake up when this nightmare was over.

"Peter did it to save him Bella, for you. They know I love you and they love you for making me happy. None of us ever wanted to hurt you Bella. I would do anything to save you from all this if I could but I promise you that no one will ever hurt you again. Please give me a second chance Bella, I don't think I can live without you."

I closed my eyes, unable to look into his pleading face any longer, my head hurt and all I wanted was to sleep, to hide away from everything.