Chapter Ninety Seven

Charlie

I decided to go hunting alone although I knew Carlisle thought it was a bad idea. He was thinking about what happened in San Diego but I was fine, just thirsty and this damn burn in my throat was driving me crazy. I couldn't go see my daughter, we had no idea if Jasper had told her our secret or not yet but there was no one who would stop me doing what else I wanted, I was a grown man for God's sake and I had functioned well, even as a newborn.

I was beginning to feel like a rebellious teenager watched by a hawk like parent. When Emmett offered to join me I knew it wasn't his own idea and tackled him about it,

"Look I'm not a kid and I don't need a babysitter Em, Carlisle asked you to go with me didn't he? Well you can tell him that I don't need anyone watching over me."

I ran off before Carlisle could send anyone else to follow or escort me. At first I wandered in the forest listening for prey but I had to admit my heart wasn't really in it. I couldn't forget the taste of human blood, the satisfaction it gave and the blessed relief from the incessant burn.

Finding myself headed towards the city I turned back but it was an effort as was deciding on my four legged prey. Finding a small group of elks I stalked them but in my mind I was stalking more dangerous prey, a human through the dark streets of Seattle. I tried hard to shake it and caught a large elk sinking my teeth into its jugular and drinking the warm blood. It was an effort to finish it though, my stomach was churning and I wrestled to keep my meal down.

Eventually I threw the carcass almost drained to the ground and wiped my mouth when what I really wanted was to sink my teeth into a human throat, maybe a criminal but a human nevertheless and it stopped me dead. I had been a police officer and my task had been to keep humans safe from predators and now I was thinking of killing a human myself. I shook my head and pulled myself together. It would be bad enough facing Bella as a vampire, but to face her as a killer…. No, I was strong, I could resist this craving, I would resist it.

I decided to go back to the house looking smug at my strength of character but as I retraced my footsteps I came across the spoor of a human, possibly a hunter, and venom flooded my mouth. I punched a tree in anger, why was temptation being thrown at me with every turn? I had two choices, return to the house or follow the human and taste human blood once more. It was a struggle but I turned my back on the alluring smell and made my way slowly back only to find Carlisle waiting for me on the porch ostensibly reading a book.

"Come to check me for the scent of human blood Dr Cullen? The eyes are still red so you couldn't rely on that could you?"

"Charlie, I have no wish to scrutinize you or in fact lecture you. I was waiting for your return for two reasons, one, Jasper rang to say he has told Bella our secret, yours too although we are not broadcasting that fact, Felix is Volturi after all."

"Oh right, how did she take it?"

"Better than expected I think, she wanted to meet us all again but with Felix here that's not going to be possible, at least not for a while, but it means you can visit Bella now without worrying."

"Yeah, I'll contact her, thanks Carlisle. What was the other thing?"

"Ah, sit down with me a moment Charlie."

I looked at him suspiciously, was the lecture coming next? Still I took the chair beside him and he put his book on the wooden table in front of him.

"I understand you told Emmett I had sent him. He was most upset you know, it was his own idea, he likes to hunt in company and he thought it would be fun. I would have offered personally not send someone else to do my dirty work Charlie, that's something you should know about me by now."

"OK, I'll apologize to Emmett."

"Good, he's got a good heart Charlie, you could do a lot worse than hunt with him, he makes it a competition, take your mind off other things. Which brings me to my other topic. You are a grown man and I know it would be foolish of me to attempt lecturing you on your diet. I just want you to know that I understand how difficult a diet of animal blood is and if you need to talk to someone my door is always open. That's it."

I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes before speaking,

"Have you never tried human blood Carlisle?"

"No, I resisted the urge at the very beginning and I think having never tried it the urge faded for me. I think not knowing what I am missing has helped me greatly but I've seen enough vampires struggle with the urge to know just how powerful it is. There's no magic cure to stop the craving but sometimes talking about it and hunting in company helps.

"I'll remember that but for now I have to pluck up the courage to visit my daughter. I really don't know what to say to her. She saw her mother brutalized and murdered and Phil killed too. What do I say to her? She's sure to blame me for not finding her sooner. I'm her dad, and a police man, I should have kept her safe or at least saved her and I didn't. Instead I got myself almost killed. If it hadn't been for Peter I would be dead."

"But you aren't and you did all you could Charlie, Bella understands that, she needs you, after all you're all she has left now."

I shook my head,

"That's not true Carlisle, not by a long way. She's got Jasper and all of you."

"But you are blood Charlie and that counts for much. Will you at least ring and speak to her? Ask her if she wants to see you. I think you'll be surprised at her response."

Deciding if I didn't do it now I would probably lose my nerve I walked inside the house and grabbed my cell phone. I had wondered how it continued to work as I hadn't paid a bill in months and now I wouldn't be going back to work either. In fact I hadn't even thought about money or work in a long time, since I was changed anyway. I just moved with the others and now there was a room here with the Cullens. I would have to speak to Esme and Carlisle about things but for now I had something else I needed to do.

I rang the apartment not sure whether to hope Bella would answer in person but in the event it was Jasper.

"Charlie, I guess Carlisle told you."

"Yeah, I just got back from hunting. How is Bella?"

"Why don't you ask her yourself, she's just finished dinner, I'll get her."

Before I had time to say anything he was gone and then I heard the receiver picked up again.

"Dad?"

"Bella honey. It's good to hear your voice, how are you?"

"I don't really know, sometimes are better than others but Jazz is here to pick me up. He told me."

"I know, Carlisle told me. It's why I couldn't visit you, not before you knew but…."

"Will you come see me now dad? Please."

"Sure kiddo, I'll come now if you like."

"I'll be waiting."