Well, wow, I never thought this 'fic would even grab, like five people's attention, and yet you followers keep coming. Thank you so much! :D I really hope you're liking the story for now! Here's chapter nine, I've gone over it and edited it as best I could, I hope it's okay for you. :)

Right, so we're getting into the story now, Bilbo being part of the company, and our poor hobbit is having a hard time doing things right, but don't we all love Bilbo in awkward situations? ^^

Fili's problem is also showing itself again, so you might be able to find out what's wrong with him if you squint a little ;) Invisible tasty cookies for those who spot it!

Well, I won't hold you up any longer, I hope you enjoy! ^^

Darkness had already fallen and the rain had mercifully ceased when Thorin decided to make a stop for the night. Having sent Gandalf storming off earlier, he didn't want to risk more eruptions from any other member of his company, and immediately got Bombur to cook their evening meal so as to ease everyone's stomach. He'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he was starving! Besides, he knew that they were all exhausted, and that despite wanting to push his company on further, he knew it would end up doing more harm than good, and decided it would be much better if they could all get a little rest before setting off again tomorrow. After all, he supposed he could spare them one night, it wasn't really that vital to their quest, Erebor not going anywhere anytime soon…

After a slight mess, in which everybody kept running into each other, dropping utensils, carrying food and tripping over bags and other things laid out on the floor, the dwarves had somehow managed to organize their belongings in a not too chaotic fashion, and were now sitting around a small fire they'd managed to light. Bombur had also finally succeeded in making a good sized ration for everybody tonight. Although it might not have looked the most appetizing as he stirred the content around with his wooden spoon, Thorin still appreciated the warmth he could feel seeping though his hands as Nori served him the first bowl. It was immensely relaxing, and he could feel the tense muscles he'd worked on throughout the day unwind themselves one after the other.

Just a while ago, Dwalin had come back from the surrounding trees, with enough branches and wood to keep a fire going for at least the whole of the night. He might not have needed it, but Thorin had always been one for taking precautions. He'd also sent both of his nephews tend to the ponies and relieve them from the charges they'd been carrying throughout the day, wanting to make sure their mounts would be fresh for the journey tomorrow..

At the edge of the cauldron, Bofur had just managed to save two bowls of soup for their youngest members from Bombur's prying hands and had been about to go and give it to them himself, but after a moment he thought better of it. Leaving Bombur by the soup would probably mean there'd be none left by the time he came back, a risk he was unwilling to take, knowing the soup was to be shared among fourteen people. By chance, he spotted Mister Baggins just across from him, who'd been worrying over the disappearance of their wizard companion. The poor hobbit really worked himself up too much, so he thought giving him the task of bringing Kili and Fili their evening meal might lift his spirits up, if only a little. He also told Bilbo that they could both come back to the fire, Dwalin having scouted the area earlier and having found nothing lurking around, there was no need to keep them up all night.

Bilbo eagerly accepted, and made his way through the bushes to where they'd left the ponies to rest for the night. As he left, he thought he heard Bofur correcting Bombur about how he'd had plenty of soup already, but he couldn't e sure…

He found both brothers leaning against one of the giant rocks, that just seemed to grow out of the ground, Kili, pipe in hand and smoking leisurely as he laid back against one of them, and his brother just across from him, chewing on some blade of grass. Both were silent, but the general atmosphere around them was relaxing, almost joyful, as usual. He could have sworn Kili's eyes were closed, at least until he got to the pair, then the younger brother seemed to just shoot up, as the smell of the soup invaded the air around them, probably reminding him that one starving stomach that was waiting for its fill.

"Oh! This is one of Bombur's soups, isn't it?" the archer asked eagerly, looking hungrily at the bowl and both hands reaching out to get a hold of it. Bilbo didn't withhold the dish from them any longer, and Kili dived onto his one, almost knocking the poor hobbit off balance as he caught hold of his share. Bilbo stared, a bit dumbfounded, as Kili tilted his head back and simply gulped the whole content of the soup down, as if he hadn't eaten for days. At least, he'd especially appreciated Bombur's cooking, he'd make sure to let the obese dwarf know.

Ever since he'd noticed the smell, Fili had been panicking inside. He didn't want any of Bombur's soup. Not that their cook was a bad one, actually, most of the company kept praising him that they'd never tasted anything better, but he just felt like he couldn't handle it, and he wasn't hungry right now anyway. So when Bilbo held him out his own ration for the night, he'd just stared at the hobbit's arm, not willing himself to look down at whatever was in that bowl. The hobbit eventually gave it to him however, and the blonde was hoping he'd find some way to get rid of it. It really wasn't that Fili had anything against Bilbo or Bombur, he just couldn't take it, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep the content of the bowl down. It was either he managed to get rid of it now, or he'd have to deal with a burning throat later, which he most definitely didn't want. Luck was on his side, as just when he'd been about to lift a shaking spoon to his mouth, one of the ponies snorted, drawing both his brother's and Bilbo's attention away for a moment. Fili used those few seconds, when the two had their heads turned away, to let the bowl rest on the surface next to him before knocking it over, seemingly by accident. He hoped they would buy it.

Bilbo and Kili both looked back at the third member, as they heard the clatter on the floor, noticing Fili had somehow managed to let his bowl slip from his hands. Kili thought he'd need to remind his older brother to maybe turn in for the night now, if he was so tired, Thorin be damned if he wanted to keep them up to watch the ponies.

"Oh!" Bilbo cried in dismay "You can both come help yourselves to more, Thorin told me to inform you that you could both come back for the night!". He picked up Fili's bowl, and quickly headed back to camp before any of the brothers could protest or Fili could even grab his bowl himself.

Kili followed first, Fili slowly trailed behind the two, feeling slightly anxious as they made their way back to the others. How was he going to handle it this time around? He couldn't refuse, he couldn't go and eat by himself either, which would be way too suspicious, and he couldn't empty his bowl at Bilbo's feet, that would simply be rude. Unnoticed to him, his breathing had picked up, as he kept biting his lower lip and clenching and unclenching his hands unconsciously while the trio made their way back, his nails digging into the palms of his hands. Fili looked around wildly, trying to find something that could help him escape, get him away from the others, anything he could use as an excuse but much too soon the blonde found himself in the circle the company had formed, trapped.

He'd barely realized his situation when Bilbo was back in front of him, cheerful as always, with a bowl so full part of the soup was even spilling over the edge. Didn't he want it? Didn't anybody else need it more than him? Fili thought desperately, as he bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to keep calm. The blonde wasn't in the least bit hungry, and he certainly wasn't ready to let the others in on his little problems, especially when they were all around. The sloshing he could hear was turning in his stomach, and just imagining the taste on his mouth was making him sick. The assaulting smell wasn't helping either, cornering him wherever he looked, closing in everywhere. Between the barrier the others were making and the increasing unsettling feeling rising in the pit of his stomach, Fili just wanted to be alone right now.

Bilbo had put the bowl in his hand, which had started shaking pretty badly, as the dwarf just stared at the spherical object. He couldn't bring himself to take the next step, it was too hard. Please, please, someone, just take it away! He was pleading, begging, wishing all this could just disappear. Fili couldn't do this. Nobody heard his inner struggle however, they were more interested in looking at the odd face Thorin's eldest nephew was making. He was so white he might as well have seen a ghost.

"You alright there laddie?" Balin hesitantly asked, trying not to sound threatening and wanting to make sure nothing was amiss. But he got no answer, safe for the silence lingering in the tense atmosphere, which seemed to slowly push itself onto them more and more heavily. They could all sense it now, that uncomfortable feeling which they could do nothing against.

But Fili wasn't even with them anymore. The only sound he could hear was blood pounding in his ears and a form of inescapable pressure, which seemed to be weighing down on him, crushing him slowly, piece by piece. Adding to that the other dwarves focus and prying eyes, even knowing they meant no harm, it soon became unbearable, aware of the fact that he was the center of attention, almost certain they were bound to ask questions. Questions Fili would most certainly not bother them with.

"Are you sure you're alright Fili?" Bilbo asked quietly, as to not startle his friend. It got Thorin's attention this time though, and the leader of the company turned around, dark eyes looking down on his nephew, wondering what could possibly have gone wrong, now of all times. He hoped it wasn't anything too serious.

But his Uncle's stare was too much. Fili let himself panic, he let his emotions get the better of him.

And then he dropped the bowl, as if he'd been scorched by melting gold of the great forges of Erebor itself, even though his hands had gone completely white by now. He couldn't steal this from the others, especially not Bilbo, who needed more than any of them, what would they think of him? Looking at the remaining members of the company, he noticed how Ori's frame seemed to have shrunken down all of a sudden, and how Bombur looked almost longingly at his empty bowl wishing he could be entitled to more, even how Thorin slightly fingered his spoon between his fingers as he eyed his nephew with uncertainty written all over his face. He just couldn't do it, what kind of prince would he be if he couldn't even think of others before himself? What kind of prince filled himself up while others just looked on longingly, wishing they could share in his privilege? It wasn't fair, he shouldn't be entitled to such a favored treatment.

The blonde didn't want to meet their scornful glares, full of reproach and disappointment. He didn't think he'd be able to face it, not again.

Fili wasn't even thinking straight anymore, being overcome by fatigue and this. Desperate to get free and have some space where he felt he could move in, he pushed an arm out, knocking poor Bilbo off balance and unwillingly sending him crashing to the ground before running off to the only place he'd find any sort of respite, alongside the ponies. He needed to get away from there, needed to get away from the eyes, the pressure, the smell, the questions… just everything. And so he ran, evading the hands that tried to grab his sleeve, not listening to his friends, and how they called for him to come back or asking what the matter was. He even ignored both Thorin and Kili's distressed pleas for him to return, saying they could all talk this out together, that Bilbo hadn't meant anything hurtful by his question. Of course the hobbit hadn't meant anything harmful, Fili didn't blame him in the slightest for what happened.

If he were to blame anyone actually, it ought to be himself, being unable to control his own emotions. What kind of heir did he look like now? Thorin was probably shaking his head in defeat, ashamed, and Kili was no doubt embarrassed at having a brother as childish as he, no doubt wishing he could disown his stupid blood relative.

But right now, with a multitude of thoughts swirling in his head and giving him a headache, so many that he couldn't even grasp a coherent one, he didn't want to face them, Fili didn't want to have to come up with a lie to explain his actions towards the hobbit. He hadn't intended to push him with such force, he couldn't do anything right! What he desperately wanted, needed, was air, a chance to have space for himself, to lift the unbearable pressure off his shoulders. Somewhere where he wouldn't be in the way. He just needed to be alone.

He'd managed not have anybody follow him thankfully, and ran out of breath as he reached his little grey pony, which was as calm as ever. The dwarf wished he could be like that too, he envied the beast's ability to stay put. But right now, he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take much of anything anymore, and Fili broke down next to his small silver colt, sobbing miserably into its long furry mane as he needed to let all of this out somehow.

Why am I such a horrible person?