I know Kili should probably be the first one to find out about Fili's problem, but I feel like being mean to him ;) And my soul is in serious need of more Thorin/Fili moments anyway... Because honestly, what did both get in the movies? (This might just be me and what I saw in the film though... If A/Ns are a bore to you, I suggest you skip to the chapter immediately! ^^)
In An Unexpected Journey, while Thorin was a bit more lighthearted, the only direct interaction they have is the quick smile Thorin gives as he enters Bilbo's home when he takes his coat off (and even at that, I think it's more aimed at Kili...) and Thorin scolding his nephews when they scare Bilbo with the orc stories around the fire. Even during the stone giant scene, when Fili is supposedly the one to be dead, crushed into the mountain side with Dwalin, Nori and Bofur, Thorin still screams Kili's name... Although I've read up that it was simply an error on 's part, because he kept mixing up Kili and Fili (but couldn't they have dubbed over it or something?).
In Desolation Of Smaug, there's nothing much, safe for the "I belong with my brother" scene, as Fili has more or less become Kili's sidekick/secondary character. Don't get me wrong, it's a great scene, where we can see that Fili's loyalty to his Uncle can't ever surpass the love he has for his brother, but it's the way Thorin just... leaves I guess (I know he'd already started falling to the Dragon Sickness by then, but he could at least try to sound a little more concerned. He does it for Kili with the hand on his head and the "You'll join us when you're healed", so why not Fili? And "because he's older is a bit of a silly excuse...)
And in Battle Of The Five Armies, they literally had nothing. The first interaction they have was Thorin throwing some red jewel at Fili once he gets back to Erebor with Kili Oin and Bofur, who had been left behind in Lake Town, and the heartbroken expression Fili has as he realizes his Uncle has fallen to the Dragon Sickness is just... sniff! Thorin also tries to force Fili into throwing Bilbo off the ramparts of Erebor later, probably scaring him more than anything else, even if he's still victim of the "Dragon Sickness". Once he gets back to his senses though, he orders Fili to take his brother to scout Ravenhill, and basically look out for Kili as they should keep low and not engage unless it was necessary. And the last interaction both have is Fili just begging Thorin to run, save himself, wile his Uncle is too shocked to do anything ,and that's it. Plus, Fili was only killed so that Azog could get to Thorin, not because Fili himself was a threat to him. Azog had wanted Thorin, and knew that by killing his nephew he'd be able to cause him pain, I don't think Azog felt threatened by Fili at all (well safe for the fact that he was of Durin's line). Nobody was ever seen mourning him like Thorin and Kili either, I might add, although I'd like to think that Dwalin did... (And I've heard that there's at least a funeral planned for the extended edition?)
I never really felt any Uncle/nephew connection like Thorin had with Kili, and he never showed any reassuring gestures to Fili like he did to Kili (like the head thing they do when he comes back to his senses). I know we didn't need to actually see any display of affection to know that Thorin cared for both of his nephews, but it would have ben nice to show, and plus, the sister-son/uncle relationship was something important to Tolkien himself, as he used it again in Lord Of The Rings with Théoden/Eowyn/Eomer, and Théoden is clearly shown to care for both nephew/niece in the movies, so couldn't Thorin have at least been a little more affectionate to his elder sister-son too?
Anyway, despite all the talk, I still really enjoyed Battle Of The Five Armies, even if it literally broke my heart when both Thorin and Fili died (nope, Kili's death wasn't sad, sorry...) So to make up for all the lack of Uncle Thorin/Nephew Fili relationship I felt while watching the movies, I tried to make Thorin a little more caring towards his eldest nephew, he's got to love Fili at least as much as Kili right? (Although I did get that Kili was the favored of the two in the movies...)
Feww, this is getting too big for an A/N (sorry about that ^^). Big chapter here, so I suggest you sit down somewhere comfy and enjoy, and if you feel like it, you can even grab a nice bag of pop corn or a nice bowl of spaghetti for comfort.
Enjoy! :)
Thorin walked through the endless corridors that composed Lord Elrond's palace, passing door after door, but never entering the rooms behind them. There was only one chamber he was looking for, and after much wandering about, he finally came to the door behind which they'd all be sleeping tonight.
He stopped for a minute, wanting to go in and trying to recompose himself at the same time. He knew his eldest nephew was in there, on his own, while the others were busy making the most of the feast Elrond had offered them, and he needed to talk to him. But what on earth was he going to say? He couldn't be angry, that was certain. If he lost his temper, who knew how Fili would react? Knowing his nephew's quiet nature, he'd probably retract even more into himself, and Thorin knew it wouldn't help at all.
He didn't want to open the door, he didn't want Bilbo's words to be true, yet he couldn't deny them either. Why would the hobbit lie? More importantly, why would Fili do something like this? And why would he not tell Thorin if he'd been feeling like that? Deep down, the dwarf leader knew it was because he'd been pushing his nephew, well all of his companions, too much, and his actions now had consequences too. He hoped he wasn't too late to try and mend what he'd done, he hoped he could fix Fili up, but a nagging little voice kept telling him that he was already too late. No! He wouldn't allow his nephew to waste away like this.
Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door handle, and stepped into the room.
It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and a few more minutes for him to be able to distinguish anything much. The faint moonlight pouring through the window however shone in, casting a dim light on the little bed in the corner of the room, among all the others, and Thorin thought he could see a small figure, slightly rising and falling on top of it. Fili no doubt.
He made his way to the small bunk, and indeed, his nephew was soundly sleeping on top of it, curled up on himself. With his head resting on his left arm and his hair sprawled around him, Thorin couldn't remember seeing the blond looking this peaceful in a long while.
He looked exhausted, to put it mildly. Indeed, Fili didn't even stir at his uncle's approach, he who was among the lightest sleepers of the company. It set Thorin's alarm bells off, and he immediately knew something was wrong with him, he could no longer deny the truth behind Bilbo's words.
The dwarf king sat down on the side of the bed, after shifting the lad's coat and numerous weapons aside, deciding he could spare some time to talk with Fili once he woke up, and that even if that wasn't for hours, he could still stay by his side as he slept. He didn't want to leave him alone, he'd done it too much already.
"How could I have not seen this?" he whispered, as he gently laid his hand on his nephew's side, trying to give him some sense of comfort in his sleep-
-only to draw it away just as quickly, as if he'd been scorched by melting gold from the great halls of Erebor itself. I really don't know what Fili's been doing to himself Bilbo had said. Well Thorin certainly did now. His eyes widened, as he backed away and he shook his head in denial. He didn't want to think of it, didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to acknowledge that he'd just felt bones, way too many bones as a matter of fact.
What in Durin's name had he done to his nephew?
He didn't want to do it, but he did all the same. Thorin brought a shaking hand back to the hem of Fili's tunic, and slowly pealed it back up, careful as to not wake him but the lad didn't even stir, a clear statement of just how drained he was. Eyeing the state of the body beneath the clothes, Thorin thought he was going to be sick. His nephew just looked like a child, when he was supposed to be nearly an adult. He looked small, fragile, not anything of the warrior was supposed to embody. He'd thought he was ready to come with him, that both Kili and Fili were strong young lads. Kili was, anyway, but Fili… He turned his head away, no longer being able to bear the sight of sickly skin stretched over bones.
Bilbo had been right to send him immediately. Thorin could see for himself what giving his meals to the hobbit had done to Fili. How it had made him shrink. How long had it been since Fili himself had eaten a proper meal? How long had it been since he'd eaten at all? More importantly, how could he, Thorin, as an uncle and family member, have not even seen this before now? Fili wasn't dead, but the state he was in was definitely not a comforting one.
He drew back as he realized just how much his obsession over Erebor had cost him. Thanks to Bilbo, he just may be able to save Fili from whatever was going on in his head, but his nephew would never have fallen so far if Thorin hadn't entrusted him with so much. Since they'd left the Shire, the dwarf had seen in his nephew only an heir, someone who would someday sit on the throne of Erebor, and he'd only regarded him as such. A part of him seemed to have totally forgotten that Fili was also his nephew, a member of his family, and that he should have also treated the blonde in those circumstances too.
He hoped, he even prayed the great Mahal, that he wasn't too late, that he could still change what he'd done, that he could still help his eldest sister's son. Thorin knew he'd never forgive himself should the blonde have fallen too far already. And to admit that Bilbo had seen this when he had not…
"Oh, Fili… What have I done?" he whispered brokenly. He didn't cry, Thorin wouldn't allow himself to, but his own walls were crumbling. He'd never thought their quest would take such a drastic turn, and this was only the start. How was he going to be able to help? And how was he going to tell the others, Kili especially?
His nephew didn't leave him the time he needed to gather his thoughts however, as Thorin felt him twitch under the hand he'd put back on his stomach, which he drew away immediately, before he shot up, as if he'd had some kind of nightmare. Looking into his eyes however, Fili seemed slightly more rested, albeit a little confused as to why his uncle was here with him, instead of with the others.
"Uncle?" he asked, almost shyly, trying to figure out what could possibly have brought Thorin Oakenshield here as he rubbed the excess of sleep out of his eyes.
Thorin sighed, there was no escaping this now, but he still decided to approach the subject carefully.
"How are you feeling? Bilbo told me you'd gone straight to find a bed when we arrived." He talked gently, trying not to convey the fear he was trying to suppress.
"I'm fine Uncle, although still a little tired. You really need to stop worrying." He added, chuckling softly. Fili couldn't deny he'd felt literally drained when they'd arrived in Rivendell, and while all the others had gone off for dinner, he'd just desperately been looking for a bed to collapse on, eating being probably the last thing on his mind. He must have slept a while, judging how the moon had already risen high in the sky outside.
"I'm glad to hear that lad, I need everyone to be well rested before we set off tomorrow. Balin's been discussing the possible routes we could use, and the rest of the company have had quite the night too, I actually believe they're still at the dinner table- Which reminds me, Bilbo told me he didn't see you with them, wondered where you might have strolled off to, said he'd appreciate it if you could join him…" his Uncle started slowly, but immediately saw the change in Fili's face, the way his eyes widened, if only a little. "Do you want to go down with the others? Are you hungry?" he tried. Thorin wanted to hear Yes as an answer, he wanted his nephew to be aware of how he was slowly wasting away and try to do something, but when he saw the boy's reaction, as he tried to hide his fears away, he saw how he was trying to fool him and he sighed, defeated.
"No." The lie was short, small, no more than a whisper, yet it hurt him to see his nephew do this to himself, the way he felt Fili needed to do this to himself, convincing himself that he needn't bother with food, when his physical state clearly suggested otherwise.
And then what? What was he supposed to answer? He couldn't start an argument, Fili wouldn't be able for it and his use of words wasn't near as good as Bilbo's, he'd only cause more harm than good were he to try and argue. But he had to make him understand that by doing this to himself, his nephew was also unwillingly hurting those around him, who could only watch as he refused their help.
"I know, Fili." It was short, three words, but he didn't know how to say it otherwise. Thorin wasn't going to cloud the issue, he wasn't going to lie and say that everything was okay, because it most certainly wasn't, but he wasn't about to condemn his nephew for his actions either. Fili had slipped, it was up to him and the others now to make sure that he wouldn't fall any further, and try to get him back on tracks. "Bilbo told me." Bless the hobbit.
Fili didn't answer, he couldn't find the words. He hung his head as he processed the fact that his uncle now knew. Thorin was going to kill him, he was sure of it.
Ever since he'd refused to eat, or at least eat the bare minimum, some part of him had known it was wrong, well at the start at least, but that had been oh so many months ago, when he'd still been living with Kili and his mother and father. Gradually, he'd actually gotten desperately dependant on the fact however, needing the reassurance of knowing he still controlled something in his life, Fili had felt the need to be in charge of himself back then. It had changed slightly, after he'd accepted his Uncle's offer, of going to reclaim Erebor at his side. When they'd met Bilbo it had become somewhat different, that night when they held the meeting in the hobbit's home. It felt like stealing and he no longer could eat, he couldn't bear the guilt. And he saw the others have a good time with the dinner and the ale, yet each time he brought anything to his mouth, the only word echoing in his ears had been thief! Think of Bilbo, he needs this more than you! It only became worse on the journey itself…
"Why, Fili?" Thorin asked, he wanted to know, and hated how his voice sounded weak. He was concerned for the well being of his heir. Besides, something must have happened to his nephew to make him like this. He didn't care about what he was like now, well no he did, but maybe if Fili knew the origin of his fears or the reasoning the blonde had behind his actions, they may be able figure out a way to help him.
"I…I don't know" At least it was kind of an honest answer, because Fili really didn't know why he'd let himself sink this low, probably not even realizing the extent of the damage he'd been doing to himself until now. "I guess I took it to far, when I looked out for Bilbo, but I really didn't want him to feel he'd be missing any of the comfort of his own home. We're the ones who made him come along with us, but I didn't see many of us trying to make sure he was okay, so I guess I just took up the task, and might have pushed myself aside at the same time…" Admitting the reasoning behind what he'd done didn't help Fili much though. Of course, he'd taken up the job of looking out for Bilbo, and as the days rolled on, he'd found himself increasingly liking the hobbit, and wanting to look out for him. It might have given his uncle some kind of logic behind his actions, but he still held a fear of eating, and he didn't know how he was going to face that without the whole company knowing about it, especially Kili. He didn't want the others to know, he was afraid of what they'd think of him. Oh! But speaking of Bilbo…. "But please don't blame him Uncle! It's not Bilbo's fault! He's been extremely nice to everyone, please, please, please don't send him back!" He didn't think he'd be able to bare it should his Uncle take it out on the hobbit, who had been nothing but kind and patient with them all. His actions were his own, Fili was the one who had chosen to skip all those meals, Bilbo hadn't forced him in any way! If there was someone to blame, it was the blonde, not their burglar.
Of course Thorin wasn't going to send the hobbit back, it was thanks to him that he had come of knowledge of the problem in the first place. If it wasn't for Bilbo, how long would the dwarf have left his kin like this, how long would it have taken him to take his eyes off the quest to see that his nephew needed help? That he was silently screaming for someone to save him from himself? He felt horrible for letting his obsession of gold and lost kingdoms overrule the concern he should have felt for his own family, he'd promised himself to look out for them before they joined him. But, as memories came flooding back, he still had one question.
"And what about before?" Thorin remembered the day he'd been to the Blue Mountains, when he'd talked to his sister's husband about bringing Kili and Fili with him. He remembered Kili's birthday. And he also remembered how odd it had seemed that Kili was fitter than his older brother, by only a few years maybe but still older, who almost looked scrawny next to him. He hadn't given it much attention back then, it hadn't made sense to him to do so either, but it did now: Fili had already developed this fear of his prior to coming along. Had he known, he would have made him stay behind! But what could he do now? How were they going to help his nephew while looking for a way to enter Erebor? This wasn't something that would heal in a few weeks…
The question had caught Fili off guard. True, he'd already been afraid of eating when his uncle had come for Kili's name day, but he hadn't thought he'd noticed. To him it had just been a way to deal with the pressure he felt as an heir. At the time he'd felt like he'd lost all control over his life, and he'd hated that feeling of everything slipping through his hands, so Fili had decided to at least be in charge of one thing, even if it was only his meals.
Besides, Kili had always been everyone's favorite, so who would mind, really? Despite how much it hurt at times, especially when their father would give praises to the younger when he'd only have hard words for Fili, he never resented his brother for it, he'd never be able to bring himself to do such a thing. He loved Kili dearly, as an older brother should, and he kept his yearning for affection to himself, knowing that, as a prince, he couldn't go around begging to hear nice words from everyone, his father would not stand for it. But sometimes, it still really hurt…
And as Fili slowly felt how he was such a disappointment, despite trying his best, he felt like he'd been losing control over his life, little by little, and he absolutely hated the feeling. He needed to be able to control something, and if it couldn't be the way his family perceived him, he guessed he could always control his meals… It sounded silly, really, but it had helped Fili get through, and he'd found some kind of solace in knowing he was master of something. And as he kept on relying on this need of control, it went from skipping one meal to two or three, realizing he could still get through with it without Mother suspecting anything, until the blonde had become completely dependent on the action, until it had seemed normal to Fili to barely eat at all.
"I… I… I don't know, Uncle. I can't remember exactly when it started." He hesitated for a few moments, unsure if he could allow himself to say all this to his Uncle, but Fili needed to let it out, he couldn't keep it in anymore, not after all these years. "It's just, Father was never happy with wh-what I did, he was always saying I'd never be a-able to do anything correctly. A-And he was right, I-I can't! F-Father was right when he was punishing me! I'm s-sorry Uncle! I-"
"Father? What's this about, Fili?" Thorin cut off the tumble of words his nephew was spilling. He needed to know the reasons he'd had behind this entire skipping meals story. And now he knew. He was willing to bet that while Fili had looked out for Bilbo because the hobbit had grown on him, it hadn't been the only reason. Thorin was willing to bet that his sister's husband, while not completely liable for his son's actions, had some amount of responsibility in it, even if he hadn't been the one to make Fili do this to himself. He'd always known of the strained relationship between his eldest nephew and his father, he'd seen them argue, even seen his sister's husband give an occasional slap, but he'd never thought it had gone any further. His brother-in-law had always been extremely welcoming whenever he dropped by and both had always gotten on extremely well. Obviously, he'd been wrong in his assumptions. Fili had a lot more he wasn't telling him, and Thorin needed to know. He didn't want to, but knew he had to, knowing it was probably the main explanation behind Fili's actions.
"What did he do, Fili?" he asked again, more urgently this time, after Fili didn't answer him. His Uncle tried not to sound threatening, he tried not to be forcing answers out of the lad, but if his sister's husband was somehow involved in this, Thorin needed to know.
Fili was frozen, he'd let the word slip! He couldn't do anything right, could he?! Despite how he hated himself for not being able to love his Father as much as Kili did, knowing he was a figure he knew he should care for and aspire to become, he knew he'd hate himself even more if he lied to Uncle now, who would see right through him anyway. He knew it was wrong to love Uncle more than Father, but he couldn't bear the idea of Uncle being disappointed in him, he'd always needed Thorin's approval, knowing he wouldn't ever get it anywhere else. It was hard, but Fili opened his mouth anyway.
"F-Father w-would… H-He… W-When he was tired, o-or angry… He… H… I c-can't Uncle. Please, please don't m-make me." Despite starting off well, Fili couldn't bring himself to let all this out, he couldn't speak about it and shuddered involuntarily. The memories were hard enough, and he knew those would never go away, no matter how badly he wanted them to disappear. If he did let it all slip through, he knew his Uncle would get into a fight once they made it back to the Blue Mountains. It would end the brotherhood he'd forged with his sister's husband, it would probably even break the relationship Thorin had with Mother, maybe even destroy the relationship Kili had with their father, and Fili didn't want to do that to his brother, Kili never had to know what had been done to him, Kili needed a father he could trust and count on and Uncle needed to keep Father as a friend, like they'd always been.
He'd never been sure why his Father had never liked him, but by the sad look in his Mother's eyes, and the cold distance Thorin would sometimes adopt, he'd guessed it was because of his resemblance to his deceased Uncle Frerin. Neither he nor Kili had ever known him, but both his Father and Thorin had only spoken fondly of the missing family member and Fili had always been told he was the splitting image of the long since departed uncle, and uncle Father had always been particularly close to.
Although he never should have, Fili had listened in on conversations his Mother would have with his Uncle Thorin, and the pain both would have in their voices when they spoke of their lost brother, it hurt. Even his father's features would cloud over when either he or Kili would ask about him, even if they were only innocent questions. The only thing Fili had ever managed to learn was that he looked like his Mother's brother, and if he was a constant reminder of his Father's failings to save said brother, it was bound to take some effect on him, it was the only explanation he could find to his Father's coldness towards him.
Maybe, Fili thought, his Father hated the fact that he was constantly reminded of his failures towards his wife's brother, maybe he only saw in Fili some ghost, only there to make him feel remorse when he just wanted to move on with his life, and the daily presence of his son probably only fueled some form of anger, anger at being taunted in such a way. And while he'd never fully understood his Father's actions, he wouldn't dare speak of them to anybody, if said actions were only caused by grief and not resentment. His Father only hated what Fili reminded him of, not Fili himself, but separating the two must have been too difficult, especially after all the pain he'd already endured in his life. Fili never really knew the feelings his Father would have behind the anger, but he wouldn't allow himself to draw conclusions, he wouldn't allow himself to draw an unkind picture. His Father, while harboring some form of resentment towards him, had never raised a hand on Kili, and if his brother had grown up a happy child, Fili wouldn't ask for more.
Father had always made sure not to have Mother know, generally he was calm enough when she was at home, and she seemed to have a soothing effect on him. Both loved each other deeply, it was clear to anyone, they had full trust and knew they could count on one another, there really was no bond they could have that was any stronger. Mother would probably think Father incapable of what he'd done over the past years, when he let his anger get the better of him, and Fili had always known Mother needed Father, she needed Father to move on, to be happy, and so speaking up would only shatter their bond, it would break the family, and Fili did not want to be the cause of such a thing. Both Kili and Mother needed Father, Uncle Thorin needed Father, and even Fili himself admitted that he needed Father too sometimes, just the reassurance that he was there, that he could provide for Kili and Mother, Fili needed to know Father was there so as to be sure that Mother and Kili were loved and cared for.
No, speaking up had never been an option. And yet he'd done it, he'd done it because he couldn't even control himself anymore. Fili cursed his stupid mouth for letting the words slip, words he had never meant to let slip at all.
Thorin wasn't sure how to proceed. He needed to know, obviously his sister's husband was involved in the condition his nephew was in, but Fili was refusing to say anything. Why the lad was defending his father however, he couldn't understand. His brother-in-law obviously had a large part to play in this.
"Please Fili, I won't let it slip to anyone else, not even Balin or your mother, not even your brother, I promise. It's just between you and me." He was rubbing circles on the blonde's back, trying to coax him into letting it out. Thorin wished he could understand what had happened so that he may be able to find a solution, but if Fili never spoke up, he'd never be able to help him.
There was a complete silence in the room, in which none made the slightest sound. Thorin kept his nephew's head on his shoulder, as he wrapped one of his arms around the blonde's back, hoping it just might make him feel more at ease, more secure to speak. Fili hadn't anything to fear of him, Thorin would never wish harm upon his family, not even his sister's husband, although he was starting to have second thoughts there. He'd half expected Fili to remain silent, when he thought he heard the faintest sounds just beneath him.
"Father hates me, he always has. Even if I-I understand w-why…" It was barely above a whisper, but it was there, and Thorin didn't dare interrupt, knowing that if he did, Fili would never speak of this again. "H-He'd hit a-and w-wouldn't stop, saying that I w-was taunting his m-mind, t-that I shouldn't be there anymore a-and that he j-just wanted to move on. A-and then, he'd cover it up, saying that I fell, t-that I wasn't being careful in training. H-He said that I ought to keep quiet i-if I didn't want any more, g-ghosts aren't supposed to s-speak…
W-When we were alone…" Thorin thought he heard him choke, and could feel him shaking badly. He couldn't even begin to process all this, his sister's husband would do such a thing? His brother-in-law had always come off as a decent person, he'd even been the one in whom he could confide things he couldn't even tell his own sister! He confided more sacred things to a dwarf he'd come to know by marriage than in his own blood… Maybe he was the elder of the two, but Fili was still a child, and forcing this on him for Mahal knew what was uncalled for! He gripped Fili's skinny frame tighter, knowing there was still more to the story.
"W-When it was just the two of us, Father would go m-mad sometimes…" At this, Thorin heard an audible sob. He could feel his teeth clench, and had a sudden urge to just break something, but Fili's bony shoulders beneath his hands reminded him why he was here in the first place, and he tried letting out even breaths, so as to calm down.
"H-He wanted it all to just d-disappear, he'd even lash out …" Thorin's blood ran cold then and he stopped the circular motion his hand had been doing on his nephew's back, why would Fili deserve such treatment? Just imagining it was making him ill, and knowing his nephew had lived with it for years without ever saying anything…
"H-He liked l-leaving marks, s-saying pain was n-necessary… "At this, Fili buried his head into his Uncle's shoulder as deep as he could, overcome by shame. Shame for the streaks and gashes that were still there and shame for the fact he'd never done enough to stop them.
He'd been hiding those memories for years, but letting it all out now, one at a time, they were all coming back. His Father's intimidating frame, shouting again and again, repeating the same words and not stopping, pushing him into a corner as he'd be relieving this battle or that one. Being sent out in the evenings to fetch whatever Father needed, and be sent off to bed once he came home, on an empty growling stomach, Father saying it wasn't any use asking gifts from life, one should learn the hard way, like he had. Training sessions, with weapons that were too heavy, collecting bruise after bruise, but Father would say that if he didn't train enough, he'd only meet an early death, like Uncle Frerin. Cuts he would get that Father would refuse to treat, saying he should man up and not dare let a word slip to Mother or Uncle Thorin, a grown-up knew how to look out for himself, it was expected of any dwarf that wanted to someday wield weapons…
"B-But please, don't be mad at him Uncle." Fili knew that, to Thorin, he must sound as if he'd lost his mind, but he had to explain. Despite everything, some part of him couldn't bear to send his father away, as pathetic as it sounded, he still needed him."I-I think I understand why Father acted the way he did. It-It was his way of dealing with Uncle Frerin's death, h-he never meant any harm really. H-He's just lost, h-he doesn't know how to move on, a-and as I keep reminding him of Uncle, it-it's very hard on him… Please don't fight over it!" he begged. He really didn't want to break the close bond Thorin had with Father over past actions. What had been done… Nothing would change that, but if Thorin hung on to such grudges, it would tear the family apart, and Fili knew his Uncle wouldn't be able to move on without his family.
Thorin didn't know what to say. He felt betrayed by his brother-in-law, only now learning the extent of his actions. A part of him still wished to remain on good terms with the dwarf, even Fili was begging him to cling to it, but he couldn't let this pass. Sure he'd noticed some of the bruises Fili would occasionally have, but he never thought any more of it. Obviously his Sister must have been the same, probably feeling she could trust her husband with everything, which had never been wrong to do, of course it hadn't! His sister had very little blame in this, she couldn't have known. He knew his sister too well, she could smell something wrong yards away. But the distance she'd put between herself and her eldest son after Frerin's death probably made it clear, if she couldn't bear to even look at Fili because of the pain it would cause her, then she'd probably had very little interaction with the lad ever since.
Fili had kept quiet to avoid any further problems in the family. It explained why he'd never really been the talkative one of the brothers, Thorin concluded. And while he could understand the extent of the actions a little better, the Uncle knew he had to try and make things better. While his brother-in-law was not something he could deal with right now, his nephew was, he needed to pull Fili out of what he'd been doing to himself. Although he could now understand the actions a little better, it didn't mean that he felt relieved by it.
Fili looked back up at Thorin, desperate to make him understand: he wanted out of this, he didn't want to be afraid at meals anymore, but something inside him kept stopping him, and Fili couldn't bring himself to eat. While it had started with his Father's mislead actions or words, he wasn't to blame for it all, as he'd been victim of unfortunate circumstances above all else, Mother was the same. Fili tried recalling a particular event or precise wordsthat could have made him fall into this state, but couldn't, it had been gradual, only a little at first, but the fears grew and grew, slowly trapping him.
"I'm sorry Uncle, I know it was wrong, but…" He looked away, unsure of what to say, and too ashamed to meet his king's eyes.
Thorin wouldn't have it though, and before Fili could protest, he gathered him in his arms and held him close, resting his chin on his blonde hair. Despite how he hated feeling more bones than anything else under his hands, he was content that Fili had at least spoken up, that he accepted there was a problem there, and that he seemed to at least want to do something about it, he knew Fili regretted his tongue slipping, but Thorin was glad (well relatively) that he now knew why Fili had refused to eat. Like Balin said, it was going to be hard recovering, on him, on Fili, probably even on the others, but they'd work together, and he'd pull his nephew through this.
He stopped as he felt quiet sobbing against his chest, and looked down to see that Fili was indeed crying. He hadn't wanted this when they'd started talking, but maybe if his nephew let it all out now, it would help him recover. Not caring whether they were being looked at or not, he held onto Fili a little tighter, bringing him closer and allowing him to freely cry into him, but careful not to hurt him. If Thorin Oakenshield would not stand for crying heirs, Uncle Thorin could certainly spare a few words for his family, and he did.
"It'll get better Fili, you'll see…" And both sat there on the bed, Thorin trying to ease the cries of his nephew, once again grateful for Bilbo's keen eyesight and Fili, thankeful beyond measure for the support his Uncle was so kindly offering him.