Chapter 105

Jasper

I knew it was time that Bella and I had a serious conversation about the future but it was so hard, to sit down and explain to her that she was under a sentence of death if she didn't agree to become a vampire. How could I put her through that after all she'd been through already. Of course I underestimated her powers of observation and she asked me to sit with her on the couch,

"I need to talk to you Jazz."

I took my seat beside her and noticed she was twisting her engagement round and round on her finger, was she preparing to remove it and tell me she wanted to leave with her father? I could feel confusion and a little hurt wash over me and I tried to smile at her reassuringly.

"Of course, what did you want to talk about?"

"Lots of things but I can't put them in any order, they are all spinning around in my head."

"Then just pick one, we'll work through them all eventually."

"I wish I was as sure about that as you, I don't feel I'll ever settle my life down again but OK. Here goes number one, why can't I visit your family? My dad's there and Kat and Skye. I want to see them and Rose."

Well here was my opening but I hesitated and she picked up on that,

"They don't want me there do they? Is it because I'm human?"

"No, Bella, its nothing to do with that, at least not as far as the family are concerned, they'd love to have you visit any time you like."

"Then why?"

"Before I answer that I have to tell you the story of what happened when I found out you were missing and even before that."

She sat back looking into my face,

"OK then tell me, I need to understand."

"I guess I should go back to the very beginning then perhaps you will understand, not only the answer to your question but my feelings for you."

I started by telling her how Alice had seen I would find my mate at college,

"So you knew about me before we met?"

"No, only that my mate would be at college, not who she was, then I saw you and I knew you were the one. For vampires finding their mate is an almost mystical experience, I saw you and both mentally and physically I knew we were meant to be together. When you fell in love with me it made my life complete, I couldn't have been happier and when you agreed to be my wife I knew I had to take you to meet my family but first I needed to prepare them for the shock that my mate was human. That's why your holiday was so good for me. I went to tell them all about you and they gave me their blessing. I was coming back to tell you the truth about us and take you to meet them, then...well I had to find you. I thought I'd lost you at one point and I felt my world crumbling around me. Vampires mate for life which in our case is eternity so I had to find you and bring you home to me."

"Then surely it would make sense now I know the truth to meet the family properly."

"Having a human mate presents a problem Bella, its against our law to bring humans into our world, to allow them to discover our secret. I had hoped that once you found out the truth and we were married you might decide you wanted to join me as a vampire but if not I would have loved you and stayed with you for the remainder of your human life."

"You were going to ask me to become a vampire too?"

"Of course, I want you by my side for all eternity but the decision had to be yours, unforced. Unfortunately the Volturi found out about you and they gave me a deadline for your change, six months. It meant I had to find you and then persuade you to join me or lose you forever."

"You mean they would have killed me for having knowledge of your world?"

"Yes but I would have found a way to keep you safe from then until you could make your mind up independently. Unfortunately we couldn't find you and time was ticking away."

"I bet these Volturi hoped I was already dead."

"No darlin' because that would have sentenced me to death too and they don't want that, they are only attempting to keep our kind safe."

"So how long do I have left?"

"The first deadline has already passed."

"But I'm still alive."

"Yes, Carlisle managed to persuade Aro Volturi to give me an extension when he knew what had happened."

"So when does that run out?"

"In a couple of days but I won't let anyone hurt you I promise. Carlisle already spoke to Aro again on your behalf but he won't be put off much longer."

"So? I'm going to die after all?"

"Not if I can help it, which is why we need to stay clear of the family, one of the Volturi is living there watching over Kat and Skye. Once they reach maturity they will be changed."

"Even if they know nothing? That's so unfair."

"Skye is gifted, she cannot tell anyone yet obviously but she already knows of our existence and Kat, well she has every incentive to become a vampire. Her mate like yours, is a vampire."

"But she's only a child."

"Yes and she won't understand her feelings until she matures but then she will understand what he means to her."

"Like me?"

I looked at her long and hard,

"Bella, none of this is your fault and if you want your freedom I will help you escape the Volturi. I owe you that much but it will mean a life on the run for you and they are extremely persistent. If you no longer feel the same about me I will understand, you've been through so much. I understand why you have clung to me, to keep you safe, give you a solid anchor, and that's fine really. I need you to tell me how you really feel because I'm getting strange mixed messages right now."

"I don't understand."

"I am an empath Bella, I feel the emotions of others and right now all I feel from you is conflict, I can't work out how you really feel about me any more."

"But you love me and you would let me walk away if I chose to do so? Even keep me safe from the Volturi?"

"Yes I will."

Bella

I was drowning in all this new information, I was as mixed up as I'd ever been and needed someone to talk to, not Jasper but someone a little more neutral.

"I'm sorry I can't answer you straight away but I need to talk to Rose first. Then I'll tell you what I want."

He looked grave and I knew I hurt him but until I could make sense of everything I couldn't give him a truthful answer. I hated seeing him hurt, it cut me in two but I had to talk to someone, clear my mind. He got up and picked up the phone ringing Rose and asking her to come over,

"Bella needs someone to speak to."

She must have agreed to come straight over because as he put the receiver down he turned dark eyes to me,

"She'll be here soon. As soon as she arrives I'll go out. Ask her to ring me when she's ready to leave and I'll come straight back."

"Thank you Jasper, I appreciate this. Please don't think badly of me."

"How could I Bella? I love you."