This was probably the worst day of Zoro's life.

Sure, it was an arranged marriage and all. And it wasn't like he was the one at the altar. But the bride already seemed infatuated with Luffy, and Luffy had never been stingy about giving his affection to others. It was only a matter of time before something between the two people became requited.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"I OBJECT!"

Zoro looked from side to side, before he noticed everyone staring in his direction.

Oh.

He was the one standing.

He was the one who had just screamed.

Shit.

"And what objections do you have, young man?"

Yes, why was he embarrassing himself in front of everyone he'd ever known? He stared at Luffy, as if hoping his best friend would give him some answers.

If Luffy had stared back with some kind of negative emotion, like anger or disgust, he would have given up right then and there. However, that was not the case. Luffy was just surprised, waiting to see what he would do next. That alone was enough to spur Zoro into a reckless confession: "because I'm in love with the groom."

The wedding hall filled with loud outcries, mostly objections, until Sanji stood up nearby and shouted, "I'm sorry, but I must also object!" He jerked his thumb toward a shocked Zoro. "This idiot's been in love with THAT idiot," pointing at Luffy, "for years. I was going to keep silent out of respect for the groom and the lovely Ms. Boa, but since moss head spoke up, I see no reason to anymore."

"In that case, I also object!" Nami was the next to stand. "Luffy, I know you're clueless about anything that doesn't have to do with food, but have you been completely oblivious to how depressed Zoro's been for the past six months that you've been engaged?!"

"But he told me he had a stomachache!"

"For SIX MONTHS?!"

"It is possible," Chopper quietly argued, before he got the full blast of Nami's stare. "BU-BUT I think in Zoro's case, his physical exhaustion and lack of volition for six months was a depressive episode due to external stressors."

"English, please Chopper," said a nearby Usopp.

Chopper shrugged helplessly. "I think he was lovesick!"

Zoro, at this point, was so embarrassed that he couldn't even fire back a proper response.

"I mean, really Luffy," Usopp griped. "Someone complains of a stomachache for six months, right after you got engaged. What else is there to expect?"

Luffy put on his thinking face for a moment. Then became horrified. "ZORO'S PREGNANT?!"

"HE'S/I'M NOT PREGNANT!" They screamed back.

Suddenly, Franky got up, his large body pushing the chairs around him with a pronounced squeal. Everybody quieted down, expected him to say something else controversial. Instead, he just started bawling. "You...You SUPER IDIOTS! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! Bastards!...You're so damn ROMANTIC!" After which Brook, over at the band pit, started playing a violin solo with a "yohohoho!" The only person who hadn't contributed to the chaos, wasn't exactly breaking it up either. Robin sat in her seat, watching everything unfold with a quiet chuckle.

"You..."

Hancock, having been thoroughly ignored this whole time, was trembling in anger. With a snap of her beautiful head, she zeroed in on Zoro and aimed a flying kick toward him.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"

Zoro woke up with a groan, to find himself in a hospital bed.

Luffy was nearby, still dressed in a tuxedo and spinning around on a swivel stool.

"Hey!" Luffy brightened, still spinning. "You're awake!"

"Yeah." Zoro began to notice a throbbing pain in his left eye. He reached over and found it covered with bandages. "What the..."

Luffy stopped in his chair. "Hancock kinda gouged your face with her heel. The doctor said you might not be able to see anymore."

In a few hours, Zoro would realize how his new handicap would affect the rest of his life. For now, he could only shake his head laughing. "It's my punishment for being stupid."

"It wasn't stupid," Luffy said with certainty. Then he became uncharacteristically shy, curling into a ball on the stool. "Ne, Zoro. Was that really true?"

Zoro couldn't make eye contact with him. "Yeah."

"…I don't really get love, you know."

"I know."

"And you're my best friend."

"Yeah. Of course I know." They'd been friends for so long, Zoro probably knew Luffy better than he knew himself. Including the fact that his and Luffy's feelings would never be the same. That was why he had never said anything.

"But that stuff you said? It made me realize something." Luffy smiled bashfully at him. "I think I love you too."

Zoro gaped.

Well, that was new.