Chapter 10
Chet looked at Roy as if he had taken leave of his senses. "Iris? What's your shiner got to do with Caroline's boss lady?"
Roy, cut his eyes away from his friend, crossing his arms over his chest. "I think she and Johnny are seeing each other…. Or something."
"Seein'… What do ya mean by seein'?" The Irishman asked, curious if his mind was wandering in the same direction as Roy's.
"Romantically, Chet. Geez, do I need to have the birds and bees talk with you?" Roy asked, feeling defensive.
Chet's goofy grin spread across his face, feeling as though Roy had pulled a fast one on him. "Ah-ha, yea… I dig it, DeSoto. Gage struck out with so many women in LA that now he's hittin' on the overweight senior citizens."
Roy crossed his legs at his ankles, still leaning against Joanne's car. "I know she's not exactly his type, but… There's got to be something going on, Chet. Why else would he jump me when I mentioned it?" Roy's blue eyes bore holes into Chet making the lineman feel uncomfortable.
"You're serious, aren't you?"
"Dead serious. I saw them together when Mike and I took his Rover home on Saturday morning. He was getting out of her car, and both of them looked like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar."
Chet propped his hand on his hip, staring at the cement flooring of the DeSoto garage. He tried to think of another reason for what Roy had seen. The two friends were silent for a few moments, and then Chet snapped his fingers and widened his eyes.
"Hey, maybe she's teaching him how to cook?"
"Really? Is that the best idea you can come up with?" Roy asked. "Look, I know it sounds crazy, but… Damn it, I know what I saw. And Dixie called Joanne to get Iris' phone number around lunch on Friday. That was about the time that Johnny would've been discharged. And," Roy continued, his voice rising in volume as he pointed a finger towards the startled lineman. "Dixie told me that a woman had picked Johnny up from the hospital. It all makes sense, Chet."
"No it doesn't," the Irishman chimed in. "I mean, what you're saying is adding up, but it doesn't make sense. Johnny and Iris? She's too old for him," the lineman said, counting on his fingers. "Two, she's too heavy for his tastes. Three, she's a red-head, and-"
"You're skating on thin ice with that one, Kelly," Roy deadpanned, running a hand through his own thinning auburn hair.
"I'm just sayin' that she's not his type, that's all. Besides, every time Gage has a new chick, he's all hyper and happy. Lately, he's just been plain miserable." Chet looked up at Roy, knitting his eyebrows together. "Plus… How do they even know each other?"
"Joanne introduced them a few weeks ago, back when she was still working there. Johnny went into the flower shop for something, and Joanne explained that he was my partner."
"Why was Johnny in a flower shop? Let's face it, he ain't the most romantic guy… on… earth," Chet said, his smile fading fast.
Roy pushed himself off the car when he heard Chet's voice slowing down. He knew that the other man had an idea of what might be happening. "What?"
"Do you remember the conversation we were havin' in the locker room the mornin' that the investigators came to talk to Mike?"
"No."
"It was right after Caroline started at Bloomers, I was talking about the language of flowers? Caroline had been teaching me about it, and I mentioned it to you guys."
"Okay, I vaguely remember it. Why?"
Chet's face took on a serious expression. "Johnny knew the meaning of the Star of Bethlehem. How many guys know the meaning of that flower, huh?"
"Two. You and Johnny," Roy commented, his mind beginning to retrieve more details of that particular conversation. "I seem to recall him asking you if you knew the meaning of Jimson Weed."
Chet's facial features became even more animated. "And I didn't, but Johnny did. He said it meant… Um, um…," he mumbled, snapping his fingers as he dug into his memory bank for the meaning of Jimson Weed. "Oh yea, disguise."
"And he said that it was perfect for you because of your alter ego," Roy chimed in.
"Alter ego?" Chet placed a flattened palm on his chest. "Are you insinuating that I'm the Phantom?"
"Absolutely!" Roy said with a quirk of his lips. "But how did Johnny know the meaning of Jimson Weed?"
"Maybe it's something they teach Indian kids on the reservation."
"You really ought to learn more about reservation life, Chet," Roy stated. "They might be taught the medicinal and ceremonial uses of different plants, but the language of flowers? That's ridiculous."
"Do you have a better explanation?" Chet shot back.
"Not really… Wanna beer or something? I could really use a drink right now," Roy commented, trying to sort through the confusing aspects of John Gage.
The two men walked through the garage door into the kitchen. Roy pulled a couple of bottles of brew from the refrigerator, removing the tops with a bottle opener. He had just tilted his head back when Joanne walked into the room.
"Hello, Chet."
"Hey, Jo," the Irishman commented, following Joanne as she walked through the kitchen towards the laundry room.
"You boys enjoy your beer," she tossed over her shoulder, offering Roy a wink as she headed to the laundry room with her armload of towels.
Chet looked over at his friend, returning them to their conversation. "So do you think Iris taught him the language of flowers?"
"I don't know," Roy said, his voice tinged with exasperation. "I agree that it's ironic, but Iris can't be the only person who knows the meaning of flowers." Roy crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay, now you're making me doubt my own theory." He allowed his mind to return to that morning in the locker room, remember one thing that hadn't struck him as unusual at the time. Now, it seemed as though his partner had been giving him a bit of a clue. "You know, after you left the locker room that morning, I remember asking Johnny how he knew so much about flowers."
"And what did he say?"
Roy stared into the air between him and his friend as he drew another long drink from the cold brown bottle. When he swallowed his beer, he looked directly at Chet. "He didn't answer my question… Just said that he was a man of mystery."
"Hmm… Well, what did he say about his relationship with Iris? I'm sure you've asked him, right?"
Roy pressed his lips into a thin line, pointing at his bruised and swollen eye.
"Aaahhh, okay, so I take it Johnny was upset by your question," Chet stated, pulling over a bar stool and taking a seat.
"That's an understatement. I had to choke him just to get him off me."
Chet released a long slow whistle. "He must've been really pissed. He's never done that to me, even with all the shit I … Ahem," he cleared his throat, looking around to see if Joanne had overheard his swear. "I mean, with all the Phantom's pranks around the station, Johnny's never gotten violent about 'em."
"Well, obviously I can't talk to him about it again, but if they aren't seeing each other, then why did he get so mad about me asking? Why not laugh in my face? I don't get it, Chet. I just don't get it. What's their connection?"
"Maybe you should talk to Iris."
"What would I say?" Roy questioned, not wanting to admit that he had already thought about just such a conversation.
"Ask her if she's doin' Johnny," the lineman said, curtly.
"Smooth, Chet. Real smooth. I can't use that kind of language around a lady, and you know it. Besides, I'm not sure I believe it anymore, not after the list of reasons you just gave me."
"I was only kiddin', Roy, but you could ask her if she's been teaching Johnny the language of flowers." When Roy smirked at him, Chet lowered his gaze. He sat still, slowly spinning the bottle around on the kitchen bar as he tried to think of a nice way to broach the subject. Looking up, he snapped his fingers together. "I got it," he nearly shouted, looking up at Roy who was still standing at the counter. "Tell her that Johnny has a tendency to hide his injuries, and since she picked him up at the hospital, you were hoping she might be able to tell you more about how he's doin'. You've got to make it sound like you're really worried about him."
Roy thought for a moment, then slowly began shaking his head. "They both said she saw him walking home yesterday morning and picked him up. They don't know that I suspect she picked him up at Rampart. Besides, I AM really worried about him," he said, leaning his back into the corner of the counter between the sink and the bar where Chet sat. He lifted the cold beer to his lips, quenching his dry throat. He used his closed fist to hide the slight belch that followed.
"Then just be honest with her."
"About what? Wondering how she and Johnny are connected, or ask her if she's teaching Johnny the floral language?"
"The language of flowers, Roy. And… You could ask her what kind of, um, affiliation they have with each other." Chet paused for just a moment. "You DO believe that they have some sort of connection, right?" Chet asked. When Roy nodded his affirmation, the lineman continued. "If you really wanna know what their relationship is, and Johnny's gonna punch your lights out for askin', then you have to ask Iris."
"And what if she punches my lights out, too?" Roy asked with a nervous snicker, knowing that talking to Iris was the only way to get to the truth, and yet, not looking forward to the conversation.
Chet laughed, lifting his bottle to his mouth. "Well, then Roy ol' pal, you've got a big problem if you let an old lady kick your ass," he grinned, gulping the remainder of his beer.
"Thanks for the support," Roy retorted, dropping his empty bottle in the trash can.
"Roy, can I ask you something?"
The paramedic looked at Chet with concern. "Yes."
"Will you and Johnny be able to keep working together?"
Roy thought long and hard before he answered the question. He knew that Chet was being serious, and was only asking out of concern for their team. All six men of Station 51's A-shift had always worked like a well-oiled machine. Now, it seemed that the 'machine' might be falling apart. Roy thought back over Johnny's comment to him after their fight.
"I don't know if he'll give us the chance," Roy said, his voice shaky.
"He's a forgiving person, Roy. He's forgiven me dozens of times."
Roy felt the backs of his eyes begin to sting as Johnny's words echoed in his memory. "Chet… One of the last things he said to me was… Was that he wasn't coming back on shift."
Chet wasn't sure he understood Roy's statement. "So… Is he resigning?" He asked, seeking clarification.
Roy shook his head slowly. "I don't know, Chet. I honestly don't know."
"Well hand me the phone. I'll just call and ask 'im," Chet said, reaching towards the telephone.
"Can't… He isn't answering the phone, or else he's gone camping. I've been trying to call him since last night."
"Alright, that's it," Chet said, slapping his hand down on the counter. "Either you go talk to Iris, or I will. If Johnny's going to leave us, and Iris has ANYTHING to do with it… I'll… I'll…"
"You'll what?" Roy asked.
"I dunno, but I'll do… Something!"
"I think it's my place to go talk to her. I kind of started this whole thing. Guess it's only right that I try to fix it," Roy commented.
Chet knew that what Roy was saying was true, but he still felt inclined to help out. "Well… Will you let me know if there's anything I can do?"
Roy looked at Chet, seeing just how much the man cared about Johnny. Everyone at the station knew that the two of them only pretended to be easily aggravated by each other. When Johnny had nearly died from the snake venom, Chet's true feelings were seen by everyone. Roy understood it well. They really were a cohesive unit, a family, and he wasn't going to stand by and lose a brother and best friend without a fight.
E!
It was nearly closing time, when Roy walked into Bloomers. He had hoped to catch Iris alone, but noticed that Caroline was still in the store.
"Hello, Roy. May I help you with something?" Caroline asked.
"Um, yea, is Iris still here?"
"I'm here," the older woman responded, walking out from the back room.
Roy gulped, feeling very unsure of himself. "May I talk to you, please?" He asked, his blue eyes looking cloudy.
Iris felt her heart leap into her throat. "Um, sure. I was just about to close up, anyway."
"Thank you. I hope it won't take long," he responded, hoping Caroline would understand.
Caroline looked back and forth between the two people, feeling awkward. "Um, I think I'll go now, if that's okay," she said, feeling a desperate need to talk to Chet about the events of the day at Bloomers.
Iris looked at the younger woman. "That's fine. Just um… Lock the back door when you leave, please. I'll get the front," Iris stated, walking past Roy. She clicked the locking mechanism, turning the sign around and turning off the lights to darken the store front.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." Caroline looked worriedly at Roy. "Bye, Roy."
Roy dipped his head at her as she retrieved her purse from beneath the work counter and walked out the back door. He waited until he heard the lock clicking before he turned around to face Iris. "I need to talk to you about Johnny."
Iris began to wring her hands nervously. "I figured as much." She knew Roy was going to ask about her taking Johnny home on Saturday morning.
The two stood on opposite sides of the counter, feeling the tension growing between them.
"Well… We're alone now. What about Johnny?"
Roy licked his dry lips, unsure of how to ask the question. "Um… I know that Joanne introduced you and Johnny a few months ago."
"Yes, she did," Iris commented, not willing to tell him that the introduction hadn't been necessary.
"And, um… Have you two been seeing each other since that time?"
"Yes," she responded, hesitating as his words sank in. "Roy, what's going on?"
"Well, that's what I came to ask you. What's going on between you and Johnny? Are you two dating, or something?"
Iris, having noticed the bruising on Roy's face, crossed her arms in defiance. Under different circumstances, she would probably have laughed at the idea of her dating a man who was half her age. However, Johnny wasn't just any man; he was like her own child, and she resented Roy's accusations. "I presume that you questioned your partner before coming here."
"Yes, I did," Roy stated, in an equally defiant tone.
"And you didn't like the answer he gave you, is that it? Is that why you came to me?" Iris asked, feeling protective of her young friend.
"This is the answer he gave me," Roy said, pointing to his left eye. "And I want to know why?"
Iris, having spent years explaining her actions to others who were judgmental of her, piped up. "Well then it sounds like the reason you got that," she said, pointing her finger at Roy's face, "is because you stuck your nose into a place where it didn't belong."
"I'm not trying to offend you, Iris-"
"Then don't, Roy. Just leave Johnny alone. He's going through a rather difficult time right now, and he doesn't need you putting any pressure on him."
"But he needs you there to comfort and console him? What's REALLY going on, Iris? I know that you know more than you're telling me."
Iris dropped her face towards the counter, grateful to have the barrier between them. When she composed herself, she looked back up into his worried cobalt stare. "Yes… Yes, I do, and all I can tell you is that there are some things that Johnny doesn't want other people to know. Please respect that."
"But he told you? I'm his best friend, his partner, and you're his…," Roy paused, grateful that he hadn't blurted out what he had been thinking. "And he's confided in YOU instead of me?"
"Yes, and if you care about him like you say you do, then please respect his wishes."
Roy leaned forward across the counter, his jaw muscles working as he clenched his teeth. "What the hell have you done to him, Iris? He's not the same man he used to be, and it all started when he met you," Roy spat out.
"You have no idea what you're talking about, Roy. I… I think you better leave."
"NO," Roy slammed his hand down on the counter, causing Iris to flinch, a move he immediately regretted. "Not until I get some answers."
Iris, suddenly feeling a bit afraid of the angry man, jumped back away from the counter. "Get. Out."
Roy blanched, realizing his mistake. "I'm… I'm sorry, Iris. I didn't mean to-"
"I said get out, Roy. Whatever information you want from me, you aren't going to get it. I care very much for Johnny, and I'm simply doing what he's asked me to do."
"What?" Roy asked.
"He's asked me to keep some things private. Please understand. Now, I think it's best that you leave before this conversation gets out of hand."
"All I'm trying to do is help my friend, Iris. I'm not trying to…," Roy waved his hand in her direction, "stick my nose in your business. I just want the old Johnny back. Please understand that," Roy said, his voice calming once again.
"Then be there for him if he comes to you. That's all I can say, Roy. Just be there for him. He's going to need you soon; he's going to need all his friends very soon."
Roy opened his mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off by Iris. "That's all I'm going to say, Roy. Now I'm going to ask you once more. Please go."
Roy, realizing that the conversation was truly over, backed away from the counter. "The last thing he told me, after our fight, was that he wasn't coming back on shift. Did he tell you he was quitting the fire department?"
Iris shook her head, stunned by Roy's comment.
Roy swallowed before continuing his apology. "That's the other reason why I'm so worried. Being a firefighter and paramedic is Johnny's whole life. He's good at it; no, he's great at it… One of the best I've ever known. He loves his job… And I'm just trying to find out why he'd throw all of that away."
Iris looked down, lowering her chin to her chest. Was Johnny really giving it all up? Was it possible that he wasn't planning on bringing Lily home? Was he planning on joining her and the cult, instead?
Roy saw Iris' hands trembling and knew he had truly frightened her. He felt terrible, but didn't know how to make her feel any better. "I'm sorry, Iris. I didn't mean to come here and upset you, or anger you."
Iris released a sigh, walking around the counter to escort him to the front door. She turned the metal latch, pulling open the door to allow him to exit, never making eye contact with him. She didn't want him to see her tears.
Roy, his remorse overwhelming him, looked at the worried woman. "I AM sorry, Iris. Please forgive me for my rudeness."
"Goodbye, Roy," she said curtly. From her peripheral vision, she could see him hang his head as he walked out the door.
His attempt to gain information about his best friend had not gone as planned. Now he had no idea how he was going to help Johnny… If Johnny would even accept his help.
E!
By the time the men from Holistic Unity Gardens completed their tasks for the day, the afternoon sun was beginning to set. Inside the men's dorm, Johnny stood naked inside the narrow shower stall, beside James. While he had never been particularly modest around other men, he felt vulnerable showering with three male members of the group. He quickly scrubbed away the dirt and sweat from the day's activities, hoping to get out of the shower, and into his clothes, as quickly as possible.
The other members of the family had seemed to welcome him into their group, including him in their meal time and their work schedule. While the genders spent most of their time working on different tasks, their meals were a joint affair. Yet, Lily had remained a bit elusive. He had caught a glimpse of her entering the feeding room as most of the family, including him, were finishing their lunch. He knew she had seen him, but he had not been allowed to talk to her.
As he towel-dried himself, he thought about the activities of the day. He was exhausted, but felt a renewed sense of purpose. Before breakfast, he had taken a walk around the compound to better understand the layout. It had been dark when he had arrived, so this was his first chance to get a good look at the place. Behind the living quarters, he had found acres of greenhouses, most of which were open, but a few were closed off with locks on the doors; various wooden buildings with metal roofs and metal doors, all of which were locked; and a large unpainted barn. It was the barn that intrigued him most. He had wandered around the perimeter of the large building, hearing the sounds of barn animals, as well as their noxious odors. Others might not appreciate the earthy smells of tilled dirt, hay, and manure, but Johnny certainly did. He stopped near the hen house, watching as the chickens scratched and pecked their way around the small enclosed yard. In the fields behind the barn, he saw goats and sheep grazing, and in a pen on the far right side of the area, he heard the smacking grunts of a large herd of pigs. At least this gave him an idea of where the group got its food.
Johnny had spent most of the day with James and a few of the other men who were working on a new greenhouse. Even though he had not been allowed to do the heavy manual labor because of his recent back injury, he had been called upon to secure the heavy duty plastic to the 2 x 4's erected by the other men. It had been a long day, but afterwards, when Johnny looked upon all that they had accomplished, he felt good about it, and himself.
He wrapped the towel around his waist, then trotted over to his bunk. As he was digging through his duffel bag in search of a pair of sweat pants, he heard James speaking to him.
"So, John, how was your first day with us?"
Johnny spun around, quickly pulling his boxers up before removing the towel. "Aww, man, it was great. I really love it here. The fresh air, the bright sunshine, and no smog," he continued, pulling on his sweat pants. He stood back up, threading his arms through his t-shirt, pulling it down across his taut abdomen. "And the cold shower is really refreshing," he said with his trademark grin.
"Yes, that will take a little getting used to, I'm afraid."
"So," Johnny said, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull on his socks. "When do you think I'll be able to talk to Lily?"
James looked seriously at his new friend, knowing that the news he was about to deliver might be distressing. "John, earlier today, while you and the other men were working on the greenhouse, I had a chance to discuss your request with Father Hiram and with Lily."
"And?" Johnny asked, his bright smile fading quickly.
"And it seems that Lily has some concerns about talking to you."
Johnny's chin dropped, leaving his mouth gaping open. "Wha… What are you talkin' about, James? She and I go way back, we're friends, we're-"
"Were," James said, taking a seat beside the dejected paramedic. "The two of you WERE friends… A long time ago. Things have changed, John."
"Like what? Sure, we're a few years older, but what's changed?" He asked, positioning himself at the head of his bed, pulling his pillow into his lap. He felt a need to protect himself from the news James was giving him.
James rubbed his beard, grateful that the other men had left them alone for a few moments. "John, our ways are different from the ways of the world. Outsiders don't understand us, and… Well, you should understand when I say that other people are afraid of those who are different."
Johnny drew his legs up, crossing them while he leaned his back against the wall, much like he had done countless times sitting on his bunk at the station. He exhaled loudly, cutting his eyes at James. "All my life, I've been different. Too Indian to be white, and too white to be Indian. Part of me is a fireman, and the other part is a medic." He lowered his face, staring at his lap. "Part of me is a hero to the people I save, and the other part is the biggest failure on earth to all those I didn't."
"You are referring to the young man whose death you witnessed," James stated. It wasn't a question. "John, you're-"
"James, I've lived my entire life with my feet in two different worlds. I was either hiding my white heritage while I was on the reservation, or hiding my Indian heritage when I was off of it." He looked up at the man who was sitting patiently while he went off on one of his rants. "And Lily, well, she's got her feet in two different worlds, too. We're a lot alike, James. So why can't I just talk to her?"
"Because she's afraid of you."
"WHAT?" Johnny gasped, not believing what he was hearing. "I wouldn't hurt her!"
"Maybe not physically, but she doesn't trust you, yet. Like I told you last night, we've lost a lot of members because their families have hired deprogrammers to kidnap them, take them away from us."
Johnny ran his hand through his hair, leaving damp dark tufts sticking up over his head. "Is that what you think? You think I'm here to kidnap her?"
James skillfully dodged the question. "It doesn't matter what I think, John. It only matters what she thinks, and right now, she thinks you're here to persuade her to return to the outside world, or worse, you're here to take her by force."
Johnny scrubbed his face with his open palms. "Take her by… You make it sound like I'm gonna rape her, or somethin'."
"Try to see it from her perspective, John. She's seen several brothers and sisters snatched away from us. She doesn't want to be one of them."
"I'm NOT here to snatch her away. Don't you get it?" He pulled his knees closer to his chest. "James, I'm lookin' for peace… Peace I haven't had since I was just a kid," Johnny said, pointing his middle finger at his own chest. "Hell, maybe I'm lookin' for the kind o' peace I've NEVER had, but… I'm damn sure not here to hurt Lily, or anybody else for that matter. I jus'…," he felt his throat tighten, nearly choking off his words. "I jus' need to… to talk to my friend, James. Can't you understand that?"
"Your life has been filled with turmoil, hasn't it?" The bearded man asked, turning Johnny's thoughts back on his own internal struggles.
"This is crazy," Johnny stated, extending his legs to avoid the cramping he could feel beginning in his lower back. "Just drop the whole flower child, rainbows and unicorns, psycho-babble bullshit, will ya?"
James smiled inwardly; his tactic was working perfectly. "John, each one of us here has been through difficulties. It is what has brought us here to this place, this utopia. Here, we are judged merely on our own merits, not on that over which we have no control, such as our heritage, or our poverty. When I was just eighteen years old, my country sent me to do a job in a foreign land. When I returned, my blood family turned their backs on me. Do you know what it's like to have one of your own brothers turn against you? To basically spit in your face and ridicule you for something which you had no choice in?"
Johnny stared at the olive green blanket on which he sat. He did know what it was like. He remembered how Chet had made fun of his Native American heritage, calling him a semi-red brother; and how the other guys, even his best friend and partner, thought it was funny. The peace pipe, the hatchet, the talk about the anthropologists, all of it came tumbling back on top of him like it had happened just yesterday. He was always the butt of the Phantom's pranks. There were water bombs, and incidents involving short-sheeting his bed, and he would never forget the laughter that ensued when the guys set up the stokes like a cradle when he was having a bout of insomnia. Plus all the wise cracks about his failures with the ladies, and his deficiencies with his culinary skills. Even at work, among those who professed to be his friends, he was never good enough. His best friend had once called him a nut.
"Yea… I do know." Johnny looked up, his chocolate eyes pleading for salvation as if he were a drowning man begging for a life preserver. "But what can I do to let her know I'm not here to hurt her?"
This was it. This was the break-through James had been hoping would occur, and it was happening much faster than he had ever believed possible. John Gage was truly a broken man, and brokenness always expedited the conversion process.
"Join us, John. Leave behind the world that has made you an outcast, the world that has told you all your life that you don't matter, that you aren't good enough. Here, you ARE good enough. Here, we'll love you and accept you just the way you are… No judgement, no ridicule, no shame, or heart ache. The peace you spoke of is found right here," James said, reaching out a hand to squeeze the shoulder of the emotional young man. "It's right here among the family, your family, forever."
Johnny felt as if his heart was being squeezed in a vice. What James was offering was very tempting, but could he do it? Could he leave behind all that he had worked so hard for? Wouldn't that be running away from his commitments? He used the heels of his hands to rub his watery eyes.
"I, uh… I need to think about it."
"It's a big decision, John. It's the same one we've all made before, so we understand that it isn't something to be taken lightly. If you can't sell out and join us completely – mind, body, and soul – then perhaps Holistic Unity Gardens isn't the place for you. Every member of the family has been at the same crossroads where you are right now, and we've each chosen the pathway that leads to inner peace and fulfillment. May I ask you one thing?"
Johnny gulped, running his sleeve across his face. "Yea."
"May I share your contemplation with Lily? Perhaps she'll agree to speak to you, in my presence, if she knows you are seriously considering becoming one of us."
"You'd… You'd do that for me?" Johnny asked, his voice barely a whisper.
"Of course, my brother," James remarked, standing up. "As I told you before, we take care of each other here. She trusts me, John. She knows that I won't let anything happen to her. And if I show her that I trust you not to steal her from us, then perhaps she will be less fearful of you."
"Bu-"
James held up his hand to silence the protest he knew was coming. "I believe you when you say you are not here to harm her, Brother John, but Lily has not seen you in a very long time. She must learn to trust you again, and time, as well as your actions in the coming days, will prove to her that she is safe with you… That she is not only your friend, but your sister. The meeting shall not occur tonight, but it will happen soon, very soon."
E!
Mike Stoker poured water into the percolator while listening to the exiting engineer's updates about the previous shift. He measured out the appropriate amount of ground coffee just as Brian finished his explanation for the the scratch along the officer's door of the engine. This was only Mike's second shift back since his exoneration, and with Johnny's injury during the previous shift, and now Big Red's new battle scar, he wanted everyone to be alert and ready for whatever this shift was to bring.
"Morning, Roy. I heard about Johnny's fall. How's he doing?" Asked Brian, concerned about the accident-prone A-shift paramedic.
"Doing well," Roy replied, reaching for a cup in the dish drain, purposefully keeping his back to the departing engineer. "The man's like a cat, always ends up on his feet, somehow."
"Yea, well he better start saving a few of those spare lives. He's bound to be getting close to his ninth," the tired engineer chuckled. "You fellas have a safe shift."
"See ya, Brian." Mike waited for the other engineer to depart before turning his attention to Roy. "How's he doing, really?"
Roy finished pouring his cup of coffee, then turned around to face his friend, leaning against the counter. He blew a cooling breath across his coffee. "He's healthy enough to do this," Roy responded, pointing to his purple eye.
"Johnny did that to you?"
"Yea… He wasn't exactly thrilled when I asked him about his relationship with Iris."
Mike released a low slow whistle. "That's not like him. Wonder what's going on?"
"What's going on with whom?" Marco asked, heading for the coffee pot. He did a double take when he saw Roy's face. "DeSoto, what happened?"
"Johnny and I had a little disagreement," the paramedic explained, turning and walking out the door.
Mike and Marco waited for Roy to leave the kitchen before they continued their conversation. Marco looked at Mike who was sitting at the table with his forearms leaning on the white tabletop.
"Roy got into a fight with our injured crewmate? What did they fight about?" The lineman asked, adding a spoonful of sugar to his cup of coffee, worried about the integrity of the partnership between their paramedics.
"I'm not sure," was Mike's response. "He just mentioned something about asking Johnny about his relationship with Iris Campbell."
Marco lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "Who?"
"Iris Campbell, Caroline's boss."
"Oh," the senior lineman stated, knitting his dark eyebrows together. "What kind of relationship?"
"I don't know, but I certainly want to find out. We've been having too many misunderstandings around this station. We can't afford to have Roy and Johnny at each other's throats."
"I agree with you there," Marco said, pulling out a chair at the table. "Can I ask you something?"
"As long as it's not about a relationship," Mike snickered. "I don't want us to get into a fight," he said dryly.
Marco used the comment as a segue. "Actually, it kind of is… If you're free on Wednesday night, would you be interested in going to a movie?"
Mike grinned, his blue eyes sparkling as he rapidly batted his eyelashes at his lineman. "Why Marco, I'm flattered, but you really aren't my type."
Marco chuckled, realizing how his question had sounded. He quickly recovered and pressed on. "Well, is my sister your type?"
Mike's face suddenly became serious. "You want me to take your sister out?"
"A double date with Beverly and me. No pressure, Mike, and I'll pay for the entire night… I just want to show Lexi what a normal life is like. She's missed out on so much, and she's really doing well. Beverly thinks she's ready to move to the next level, going out in public and learning not to be watching over her shoulder every minute."
"In other words, she's got to learn to trust people again?"
Marco lifted his cup to his mouth. "Something like that." He looked down at his rough hands. "I just thought… Well, you already know about her past... I just thought that maybe you would be the perfect man to reintroduce her to the world, you know? But, I understand if you'd rather not."
"I'd love to, but not if you're paying," the engineer said, finally allowing a smile to return to his handsome face.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want another fella paying for my date." Mike sipped his coffee, watching Marco's face intently. "This IS a date, isn't it?"
"Um, do you want it to be?"
Mike thought about the question, returning his cup to the table. "I think you'd better ask Lexi that question. How does she feel about it?"
"Scared, I think. I told her I would find a nice man to go out with us. She's hoping it's you, Mike." Marco's dark eyes looked down at the table. "She's really quite fond of you."
"Well… That feeling's mutual," Mike began, interrupted by Hank's announcement.
"Roll call in two."
"Okay, Cap," Mike answered for the two of them. When Hank retreated back into the apparatus bay, Mike continued. "Are you sure she wants to go out with me?"
"Positive… Are you sure about her? I know her past has got to be an issue for you."
Mike looked intently at his friend, his voice holding no condemnation. "Is Beverly's past an issue for you?"
Marco pressed his lips together as he stared into his coffee cup, shaking his head. "No."
"And Lexi's past isn't an issue for me, either." Mike stood up, stretching his back for a moment before pushing the chair beneath the table. "You and I both know that most women who get caught up in the business really aren't there by choice. Lexi and Beverly are two of the strongest women I've ever met. They not only survived the experience, but they're both defeating their demons."
"That's true," Marco added. "I look at all that Beverly has accomplished, and I'm in awe of her. Now, she's helping Lexi follow in her footsteps. It's really incredible." He paused, waiting for Mike to shift his blue eyes in Mike's direction.
"I'm looking forward to an evening out, Marco."
In the apparatus bay, Roy and Chet stood in line waiting for the remainder of their crew to arrive for roll call. Chet shifted his weight from one foot to the other while shoving his hands into his pants pockets. He really wanted to have a private conversation with Roy, soon.
"Hey, I um… I need to talk to ya when we get a chance."
"Caroline told ya that I went to Bloomers didn't she?" Roy asked.
"Yea… And you weren't the only one that stopped by to ask Iris about Johnny," Chet responded just as a young blonde-haired man that neither of them recognized, emerged from the locker room and took his place in the line-up.
"Um, I'm Kyle Greene. I'm here to replace John Gage," he said, extending his hand to both Roy and Chet.
"DeSoto, Roy DeSoto and I'll be your partner," Roy said, hoping that the new arrival wouldn't ask for details about his black eye.
"Chet Kelly, lineman," the Irishman stated gripping Kyle's hand a little harder than was necessary. "How long have you been with the department?"
"About six weeks now. I don't have a permanent station, yet. I just fill in where I'm needed," Kyle responded, already feeling welcome. He looked up as two more men joined them.
"Greene," Roy began, "this is our engineer Mike Stoker and our senior lineman, Marco Lopez." He then waved his hand back in Kyle's direction. "Fellas, this is Kyle Greene, Johnny's replacement."
"Well, I see you men are getting acquainted. Greene, I'm Hank Stanley, captain of this motley crew," he said with a smile that appeared forced. "Welcome to 51's. You fellas make sure he gets a warm welcome. He'll be here until Johnny comes back, week after next."
"Thanks, Cap. It's good to be here," the young man stated, unaware of the stunned faces in the line-up beside him.
Chet and Roy stood with their mouths gaping open.
"Week after next?" Roy asked, feeling the panic rising in his chest. Was he about to lose his best friend? Was Johnny really quitting the department, or at least 51's?
"Yes," the captain replied. "Johnny's on injury leave until Thursday, then he's using some vacation time."
Hank didn't say anything further. He always respected the privacy of his men. He had already had a telephone conversation with Roy about the fight between his paramedics. He knew that Roy had questioned Johnny about his relationship with Iris Campbell, and he had been shocked by Roy's details of the events of their encounter. It was out of character for the junior medic to react in such a violent manner, especially with Roy. However, he had chosen not to tell Roy about Johnny's leave request. Johnny had mentioned taking care of something personal. Since Roy hadn't mentioned Johnny's paid time off, he thought that perhaps his younger medic hadn't told Roy about it. Now that he had gotten a good look at Roy's face, as the men were lining up for roll call, he realized just how serious the whole situation was, and he was worried. He had been afraid when he walked into his office this morning, he would find a transfer request on his desk from John. When that didn't happen, he had tried to calm himself down. Johnny hadn't explained what kind of personal issues he needed to attend to while on paid leave, but Hank sincerely hoped that it didn't involve looking for another job.
Hank quickly ran through the memos before handing out chore assignments. "Roy, how about show Kyle around the station."
Marco was staring straight at his captain when the older man's color began to fade with his last statement. Quickly, the senior lineman stepped up beside his superior.
"Cap, you okay?" The lineman asked in a hushed voice as the other men set about fulfilling their captain's orders.
"Oh, yea… Fine, I'm fine, Lopez." Hank shuffled the papers he was holding and turned to walk back to his office.
"I caught the name, too, Cap."
Hank jerked his head toward his office, relieved when his lineman followed him. Marco closed the door behind him then took a seat beside the desk.
"It's the new guy's name, isn't it?"
Hank leaned back in his chair, lifting his eyebrows at the reality. "He's the first man named Kyle that I've had under my command…," he hesitated, fighting back the horrific memories.
"Since Kyle Carrigan died," Marco finished for him. "He isn't Kyle Carrigan, and you didn't cause Carrigan's death, Cap. We fight the fires we can, we save those we can, and sometimes… Sometimes, the fire fights back." He watched as his words sank into the psyche of his superior. "It's a risk we all know about, and one that we all willingly accept, knowing it could happen to us… But we do this job anyway."
Hank closed his eyes, his voice sounding weary. "But the memories…"
"It's Carrigan's memory that we honor each time we climb on board Big Red, Cap. He wasn't the first man lost, and he won't be the last."
"But the memories, Lopez… They won't go away," the captain said, his voice fading.
"If they did, then you wouldn't be human. We're all human. We all have memories that we wish would go away, but won't... The key is to stand up to them. Face them head on, and refuse to run away."
Hank nodded his understanding without saying a word.
"Usually, we find out that it was our fear of facing them that was paralyzing us… Not the memories themselves."
"You're a wise man, Lopez."
E!
Johnny pushed the cart of plants to the back of the delivery truck, watching as James lifted them to the awaiting containers. He remained silent, frustrated that he had spent two nights with the group, and had not been able to speak to Lily. He had seen her from a distance, but they had only made eye contact. The look on her face left him feeling sick and empty. Her face lacked the joy and radiance it had held when they had first met as kids. She looked frail, weak, and had shifted her eyes quickly as if the sight of him had been painful.
"Brother John?"
"Huh? Oh, sorry," Johnny stated, returning from his reverie. He handed the next tray to James.
James finished loading the vehicle, then hopped down from the truck bed to the ground. "Alright, ready to roll?"
"Sure, where're we goin'?"
"Bakersfield," James responded. "I need to deliver these, and make a pick up for Father Hiram," the other man said, his voice rising slightly. When he didn't get much of a response, he decided to push forward, sensing he was about to lose John if he didn't give the paramedic something to keep him interested. "We'll be back in plenty of time to have that talk with Lily."
Johnny's dark eyes looked up, brimming with hope. "Tonight? We can talk tonight?" He asked, closing and securing the back of the delivery truck.
Both men climbed into the cab of the white vehicle before James answered. "Yes, tonight will be the night that you two may talk, in my presence, of course."
"Oh, yea, o' course." Johnny allowed a faint smile to tug at the left corner of his mouth. "Thanks, man."
Johnny leaned back in his seat as the big truck lumbered down the narrow lane. Finally he was going to have a chance to talk to Lily, and he knew that she would help him decide what to do.