Chapter 116

Bella

I really didn't want to drive home with Esme, I was scared we might be stopped or just disappear like before but I understood Jasper's refusal to allow me to drive back with Phil's body and I couldn't expect poor Esme to travel all the way back with it. So that left only one alternative Esme and I travelling together alone. Carlisle drove us to town and found us a hotel room before renting a car for us.

"I'll pick Jasper up and we'll go straight back, I want you two to spend the night here. In the morning make sure Bella has breakfast and then ring me before you set off. Are you going to be all right Bella? Unfortunately we never thought about transporting Phil's….well that's my fault, I should have made arrangements but unfortunately I didn't. If it was possible to delay our return I would do it but I think under the circumstances that wouldn't be wise."

"No Carlisle, it was my idea I should have thought about what needed doing if we found him. I'll be fine, tell Jazz I'm OK and I'll see him when we get back but I really don't think I can eat."

"Yes you can, remember you are still recovering from your ordeal and that means regaining your strength. Do you promise me you will eat tonight and breakfast in the morning?"

I agreed although I wasn't sure I would be able to swallow anything.

Carlisle

I wanted to see how Bella would react to the thought of being away from Jasper for the first time since we found her. I knew she relied on him heavily and I thought a few hours separation might be a good thing but Esme had orders to ring me if Bella became panicky. I knew Esme could cope with her and I'd asked for the business suite so they had plenty of privacy and room for Esme to restrain Bella if she did have another panic attack. I walked the two of them down to the dining room before leaving but Bella was beginning to worry about Jasper stranded out there with Phil's body so I left them with a goodbye kiss and drove out to the dump site.

Bella

I began to panic when Carlisle left but Esme took my arm and steered me towards a table in the corner where I felt safe and she smiled,

"Please don't worry Bella, I may look sweet and motherly but don't forget I am a vampire and I'm more than capable of taking on anyone we are likely to meet."

I had to giggle at that, the thought of Esme attacking the huge guy in the center of the room working his way through what looked like the contents of an ice cream parlor was hilarious and she kept talking to me all through dinner about everything and nothing, ordering for me when I faltered and I found I had cleared my main course and a small dessert.

I still couldn't manage the elevator so we walked up the emergency stairs all five floors and by the time we got back up I was absolutely shattered.

"You shower and get ready for bed and then we can talk until you are ready to sleep."

I nodded and went through into the sumptuous bathroom feeling the thick fluffy robe and smiling at all the toiletries. In the end I decided to soak in the bath for a little while and I must have been dozing because I jumped as Esme tapped my shoulder and looked up to see her smiling down on me and holding out a steaming mug of hot chocolate complete with whipped cream and marshmallows. I took it from her with thanks and she sat on the edge of the tub just like my mom used to do.

"So, Bella. Your dad is getting married and you've found Phil so we can lay him to rest. What next? Don't you think its about time you started thinking about yourself? Your future?"

"You mean about becoming a vampire?"

"No, actually I was thinking more about Jasper actually."

"I love him and he's been so kind and loving, I just worry that he's with me now because he feels I can't function without him."

"So, can you?"

I smiled up at her ruefully,

"No but that's not a good enough reason to hold on to him."

"Bella, let me tell you something, Jasper needs you as much if not more than you need him. He loves you with everything he is and he will never ever leave you unless you tell him to go. And you won't do that because you love him as much."

She tapped the top of my head and stood up,

"You ought to get out now or you're going to look like a prune."

I waited a few more minutes then got out drying myself quickly and wrapping myself in the robe which went round me almost twice then joined Esme in the sitting room. She patted the seat beside her on the couch and I slid in.

"Now young lady I think we can talk about the Volturi. Are you worried about having to become a vampire? Its fine if you are."

"Not really, no. Jasper is the one and I love him so to stay with him I have to become one too. I'm not frightened of the Volturi or becoming a vampire. I'm just scared I won't feel any more in control as a vampire than I do as a human."

"You are in control Bella, it's just finding your feet again and Jasper will help you."

"But he shouldn't have to Esme, he got engaged to another Bella and maybe he'd rather have that Bella."

"I'd let him worry about that Bella. Now you go to bed you look shattered and don't worry I'll be right here awake and keeping you safe. OK?"

I nodded and hugging her went into the bedroom looking at the huge bed that looked so huge and empty without Jazz. Pushing that thought away I slipped in between the crisp sheets and closed my eyes. I didn't expect to sleep but I must have done because when I opened them again it was morning and Esme stood by the bed with a breakfast tray in her hands.

I ate quickly and got washed and dressed then went back into the sitting room to find Esme gone and sitting in her place Jasper.

"What? Where's…..How did you…..What's happening?"

"Esme is getting the car from the garage. We rang Emmett last night and he's going to meet Carlisle along the road."

"But you were supposed to be going with him."

"I know but I couldn't leave you Bella. You have no idea how terrified I am of losing you again and this time never finding you."

It stopped me in my tracks, to hear Jazz was frightened was confusing and almost impossible to believe but then I thought of the words Esme had said about him and I smiled,

"I'm glad you are here but I hope Carlisle is OK on his own."

"He'll be fine. Carlisle can talk his way out of anything. He'd probably say it was a medical specimen he was….."

He stopped, looking horrified,

"I am so sorry Bella that was insensitive of me."

I pulled him close and kissed him,

"Don't treat me like a china doll, I'm more resilient than you think."

"Oh I know that, you prove it every day darlin'."

Jazz walked down the stairs with me, or at least he walked I was carried which was a relief, I really needed to get over this elevator phobia. But then again if this was the alternative I could live with that. Esme was waiting all smiles,

"Shall I drive? You two love birds can sit together in the back then."

She didn't wait for an answer just got in and we slid into the back. As she drove off she winked at me in the rear view mirror,

"Don't forget you are giving Charlie away soon Bella. You might need something new to wear and I warn you now, the girls are ready to kidnap you and take you wedding shopping."

I groaned, the thought of Rose, Alice, and Charlotte dragging me round clothes stores was pretty horrific and I looked pleadingly at Jasper but he just shook his head holding his hands up in horror,

"Darlin' I'd fight wild animals, even tempests, and floods, for you but I draw the line at taking on three women hell bent on a shopping trip, call me a coward if you like."

We all laughed at that but I knew I was in for some bullying when we got back, I hated shopping for clothes.