A/N: Thank you all for the support you have given me for this series. I hope to pick up the speed of this story, now that most of the back story has been told. Thank you for sticking with it. I appreciate each and every one of you.

Chapter 13

The following morning, Johnny awoke with a start. Once more, William Waite had entered his dream world, but this time his victim was Lily, not Phillip. Her fading screams had brought him to wakefulness with lightning speed. He sat up, scrubbing his stubbly face with his hands, forcing the images and sounds back into their hiding spot.

"You okay, Brother John?"

Johnny looked over at James who was making up his bunk. "Yea… Yea, jus' had a bad dream," Johnny responded. He looked around the room, noting that the others were beginning their morning routines. "Gettin' an early start?"

"Today we have a chapel service before we start our chores. It's our mid-week service," James explained, turning away from Johnny.

Johnny looked at James, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion since it was Thursday. He knew that most religious mid-week services were held on Wednesdays. Then again, this group seemed to be more involved in worshipping a man, not a known deity.

"Afterwards, I'll be heading down to Los Angeles. Would you like to come along with me?" James tossed over his shoulder.

"Oh, umm… Yea, I'll go," he stated, quickly walking to the urinal. He didn't want to be late for a service, or another chance to talk to Lily.

The men walked down the center aisle of the sanctuary in a single-file line sitting in the rows of chairs on the right. The women followed, taking seats on the left. Johnny thought that separating the genders was strange considering the events of the previous night. He took a seat, looking around for Lily. When he saw her, his heart broke. Her eyes were red and swollen; she had been crying. He knew she felt rejected from the night before. He wanted to hold her, tell her he still loved her, but he didn't dare break the rules of the family. He also wanted to assure her that he did want to make love to her again, but not here, and not now. This wasn't the right place or time.

"Brethren," Father Hiram began, eyeing Kim and Gretchen who were seated on the front row with everyone else behind them. "Someone has transgressed against the family." His eyes searched the crowd, and Johnny noticed that Lily quickly diverted her gaze. "That sin has impacted all of us, and it must be atoned for. Last night, Sister Gretchen suffered a miscarriage," he said, holding out his hand to the pale young woman. She rose, joining him at the front of the group, looking as if she were unsteady on her feet.

Johnny's heart sank. Gretchen looked like she needed to be in a hospital. Her skin was pale, even paler than the previous night. Her features were gaunt, and she seemed to struggle to remain upright. He wanted to run to her, check her pulse, and call for an ambulance, but Father Hiram's next words pinned him to his seat.

"Who among you committed the sin?"

Johnny watched as Lily wiped her eyes, knowing that she was feeling guilty about their contact, even though they had not had sex.

"WHO?" Father Hiram shouted after helping Gretchen back to her seat. "Children are innocent, and my child has paid the ultimate price for the sin committed among you," he said, angrily. "Now, identify yourself, confess your transgressions before us, before my other child is lost as well."

"It was I," Lily stated, standing shakily. "It was I. I am sorry, Father Hiram. Please… Please for-forgive me."

"Come forward, Sister Lily," the leader ordered, pointing his finger in her direction.

Johnny watched in horror as Lily walked down to the front of the assembled group and knelt in front of Father Hiram.

"I have sinned against you and our family. I spent time alone with… With a non-member last night."

"And did this non-member defile you, Lily?" He asked, no longer using the familiar 'sister' in front of her name.

"He did nothing wrong, Father. It was I," she stated, not wanting to implicate Johnny in the incident.

He used his outstretched arms to motion for the rest of the group to stand. When they complied, Father Hiram laid his hand on Lily's head.

"Rise Lily… Rise and face those against whom you transgressed," he ordered.

Lily stood up, crying as she turned toward the hurt faces of those she loved.

"Look as they turn away from you. Watch as they reject your transgressions."

Johnny felt a gentle nudge on his right arm. He turned his head, seeing James nod his head towards the exit, silently urging him to follow the others as they left the sanctuary.

Father Hiram waited until the assembled group walked out of the chapel, standing outside the doorway waiting as he made his decision.

Johnny felt as if someone had sucked the breath out of his lungs. He had followed the group as they had walked out the door, but his heart remained inside the building with Lily.

"What's gonna happen to her?" Johnny whispered to James, worrying for Lily's safety and well-being, his own guilt weighing heavily on his heart.

James saw the concern on the paramedic's face. "She was with you, wasn't she?"

"Yea, but… We didn't do anything, James. We didn't do anything wrong," he said, his voice strained.

"Being with you alone was wrong, Brother John. You have not joined us, yet. She must face the consequences of her actions. The fault is not yours, it is hers." James reached out, pulling Johnny away from the open doorway. "She will be restored to the family, as soon as she meets his demands."

"Demands?"

"He will sentence her, she will complete the requirements, and then she will be restored to the family."

"Is… Is he gonna hurt her? 'Cause if he does, I'll-"

"Brother John… It is our way. Allow her to be cleansed, and then restored to us. It is what's best."

Johnny looked at James, wanting to scream at the man, but holding his tongue in check. "Well… What about Gretchen. She needs medical care if she's had a miscarriage."

"Father Hiram is the great healer."

A loud scream of anguish was heard from inside the chapel, and strong arms pulled Johnny away from the door. If he entered the sanctuary, he would ruin the plan.

"Wha-, lemme go!" He argued, pulling at the arms that were restraining him. "What's happenin' to 'er?"

"She is receiving her cleansing. She must endure it for restoration to occur," James explained.

"But-"

"There are no exceptions, Brother John. This is our way, the right way, the only way to wholeness, and-"

"But… What if… What if I join? Will she be restored then? Can she avoid the punishment if I join?" Johnny asked, still struggling to free himself.

"We do not accept forced conversions," James announced. "It must be a choice made of your own free will."

Johnny gulped back the bile that was rising in his throat. "It IS my choice!" he responded, wondering what Lily was going through inside the sanctuary. "I-I want in."

"Then her shunning will be greatly reduced, Brother John," James smiled, turning to walk into the sanctuary, closing the doors behind him.

A couple of hours later, Johnny was driving his Rover back to Los Angeles with James sitting by his side. Ahead of them, Ian was driving the delivery truck. During the silent trip, Johnny had been vacillating between two options. Should he join the group and spend the rest of his life with Lily? Although the uncertainty of such a move was frightening, it wasn't as scary as testifying against a cold-blooded killer – a murderer who was capable of taking lives Johnny valued far more than his own.

With his decision made, Johnny knew he would have to make preparations before he could join the family, thereby saving Lily from a fate he truly did not understand, nor did he really want to. His first task was to ask for Iris' help with getting the film to the proper authorities and delivering his resignation letter. Then, if time – and James – allowed, he wanted to talk to Roy. He needed to tell his best friend the truth about what happened back in 1965. Then maybe Roy would understand why he had to get away from those he loved the most, and why he didn't deserve to be a part of the Station 51 family any longer. Johnny also knew that the truth would ultimately break the friendship he had enjoyed for years, thereby forming a protective barrier between William Waite and Johnny's friends in Los Angeles. Yes, once Roy and the rest of 51's A-shift knew what Johnny had done, or failed to do, they would openly dismiss the junior paramedic to everyone, including Waite and his henchmen, if they were to come looking for him at the station.

"You really don't need to go with me, James. I'm not gonna run away, or anything."

"I know that, Brother John, but those of us in the family fully support each other. I want to be there for you, help you in any way that I can, and support you during this transition," James commented, sounding as if his words were well-rehearsed.

They drove on in silence for several miles. Johnny's body was driving the Rover on auto-pilot, because his soul had never left Holistic Unity Gardens, and the fate that Lily was enduring. Finally, he could remain silent no longer.

"Please, James, please tell me what's happenin' to her," he pleaded, glancing at his passenger with reddened eyes.

James chose his words carefully, wanting to keep Johnny intent on joining the group. "Well, right now she is going through a purging of her system."

"Purging?"

"Yes, Father Hiram will use an herbal concoction to induce vomiting and purge her bowels. She will not be allowed to eat or drink anything for 24 hours, until her system is clean. Then she will be subjected to solitary confinement for 48 hours within Father Hiram's sanctuary, to reflect on her transgressions. She will be allowed to consume cleansing liquids and nourishing juices during that time which will be brought to her only by Father Hiram. Afterwards, she will not be allowed to speak, or be spoken to, by the rest of the family for 96 hours. She will eat her meals alone, at a separate table, and only after the rest of the family has eaten."

"WHAT?" Johnny was incensed. He knew Lily's heart, and he knew how sensitive she was to rejection. He knew how much she wanted to belong, and to have this surrogate family turn away from her when she was so upset was absolutely breaking his heart. "But… But I'm joining. I thought that would make things better for her."

James reached out, patting his friend on the shoulder. "By choosing to join us, you have greatly reduced her punishment, Brother John. Normally, the restoration process takes a month. Father Hiram has shortened it to one week because of your decision. You have found favor in his eyes, and he is greatly pleased by your decision."

E!

Roy and Joanne sat near the bedside of their son, Joanne stroking his bangs out of his face.

"He needs a haircut," Roy said, snickering at the absurdity of the comment.

"Roy…,"

"Well, he does. He's looking more and more like his Uncle Johnny," Roy commented, relieved that the crisis was over for Chris, but knowing that there was still one storming for his partner.

"D-Dad?" Chris croaked out, his throat dry and hoarse.

"Hey, Sport," Roy whispered, taking a seat beside his groggy son, careful not to disturb the IV line running into his wrist. "How're you feeling?"

"Um… S'eepy," he mumbled, his blue eyes opening briefly, then closing again. "Ugh, 's Unca Jo-Johnny 'ere?"

"It's okay, Chris. Uncle Johnny will come see you later," Joanne consoled, knowing how much Johnny loved Chris. She knew that as soon as Johnny found out about the surgery, he would be knocking on the door of Christopher's room. "Your Dad and I are here with you, so you just sleep for a while, okay?"

A knock on the door sent both adults looking in the direction of the sound. Dixie stuck her head through the opening.

"Hey there. How's our superstar feeling?" She asked in her soft smoky voice.

"He's sleepy," Joanne announced, still running her fingers along Chris' brow. "He woke up just for a minute, but then he went right back out again."

"Well," the nurse said, walking in with her hands in her pockets. "That's to be expected. Besides, if he's asleep then he isn't feeling any pain." She looked from the tiny body in the bed to the two adults poised on either side. "And how's mom and dad holding up?"

"We're good," Roy exhaled. "We ate some breakfast while he was in recovery."

Dixie looked at her watch. "And that was five hours ago, or so, right?" When she saw both of the DeSotos nod, she continued. "Why don't I stay with him while you two run down to the cafeteria?"

"But you're on shift."

Dixie gave Roy a look that he recognized well, one he knew not to question. "And I'm taking care of a patient which is what this hospital pays me to do. Now scoot."

"Yes, ma'am," Roy laughed, rubbing his bloodshot eyes with his fingers. He placed his guiding hand on Joanne's shoulder. "You heard the lady, Jo. And trust me, you do not want to argue with the boss lady."

Joanne giggled slightly, looping her arm into the crook of Roy's elbow. "Well, I'm also your boss lady, and I know you haven't slept more than a few hours in the last two days. So let's eat and then you go home, okay?"

"I'll go one better than that," Dixie added. "When the two of you get back, I'll drive you home. That way Joanne will have a car here and neither of us will have to worry about you arriving home safely. I can have Carol cover for me long enough to get you home."

"Ugh," Roy groaned, actually appreciating the care and concern of the two women. "I know when I'm defeated." A yawn only served to confirm his position.

"Come on, sweetheart," Joanne said, pulling on her husband's arm. "I'll call Mrs. Kennedy to pick up Jenny from the bus stop after school. That way, once you fall asleep, you won't have to be worried about her." She turned to look at the older woman in the room, tossing her a grateful wink.

"Thanks, Dixie."

Dixie waved as the young parents walked out of the room. She turned her attention to the sleeping patient, instinctively checking his pulse and adjusting his blankets. She loved her job as a nurse, and she especially loved taking care of her friends when they needed her help.

E!

Johnny pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex, finding his favorite spot unoccupied. "This is it," he said, turning to look at his passenger. "Feel free to go help Ian," he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the delivery truck that had stopped behind him.

"No, he doesn't need my help, Brother John. I would rather be here to support you. We'll meet up with Ian later on. Now that he knows where you live, he will return here to pick us up after his deliveries are completed."

Johnny shifted his gaze to his left. He was feeling too much pressure from James, but as he opened his door, his thoughts returned to Lily, and he wondered how she was fairing during her 'cleansing.' He waved at Ian, then headed for his apartment, noticing that James was walking toward the delivery truck, instead of the stairway.

"Apartment B-6," Johnny called over his shoulder.

"I will be there shortly," James responded, stepping up to the rolled down driver's window of the delivery truck. "He's wavering, Ian. I can feel it."

"I'll get back here as quickly as I can," the blonde-haired man said, shifting into gear and pulling away from the complex.

Johnny bounded up the stairs, jingling his keys until he found the correct one. With practiced ease, he slipped it into the lock and entered his darkened apartment. He flipped on the light in his living room, dropping his keys into the bowl in the foyer.

Johnny stood in the middle of the room, looking around at his meager possessions. He had never been a wealthy man, so material things weren't important to him. He had been pouring all his extra money into his savings account, dreaming of the day when he would use it as a down payment on a house and a few acres of land. Since receiving his very first paycheck with the department, he had been stashing at least twenty dollars a month in an envelope that he kept in a plastic bag in his freezer. As a fireman, he knew that it was one of the safest locations in his apartment.

He had grown up in poverty on the reservation before moving to California with his aunt. Because of his upbringing, he always wanted to have some 'quick cash' available to him. He decided to give this money to the Unity Family. If asked, he was prepared to deny having bank accounts. After all, many people from his tribe had preferred to use cash instead of entrusting their money to a government insured financial entity. This would allow him to divide his bank accounts between Iris, and the DeSotos. It would be a way to pay Iris back for all she had done for him through the years. The remaining amount would be a nice start on college funds for the two DeSoto youngsters. He hoped that the eight hundred dollars stashed in his freezer would be enough to serve as a sort of ransom for Lily and an investment in the health and safety of his friends.

As he continued to look around, his eyes fell upon a simple frame on a shelf over his small kitchen table. It was a picture of Roy and Johnny, Chris on Roy's shoulders and Jenny on Johnny's, smiling at Joanne who had been the photographer. He walked over to the shelf, retrieving the photograph and hugging it closely to his heart. The pain was palpable as he considered what he was giving up, but one more look into the faces behind the glass, and he knew he had to do this – he had to protect them at all costs.

He inhaled deeply, returning the frame to its previous resting spot. As much as he wanted to take the photograph with him, he knew it was best if he made a clean break from all those he loved so dearly, save one red-haired woman with gray streaks tinting her hair. Only Iris would completely understand why he had to leave.

With a heavy heart, Johnny turned to walk down the hallway. He had to get busy, had to complete the requirements of him, so that he could return to Lily. He felt a deep sense of guilt and responsibility for what she was enduring, all because she had spent some time alone with him the previous night.

He felt the tug of his left cheek as a sarcastic smirk spread across his face. The Unity Family would only accept willing conversions. Well, for a man who was running away in search of freedom, he was feeling backed into a corner like a trapped animal. Somehow, leaving those he loved most in order to protect them and saving Lily from a month of misery was beginning to feel less and less like it was his own choice. How was this any different from a forced conversion? He was joining the group because he felt like he had no other option; the choice really wasn't his own, but it wasn't forced, either. He could remain in Los Angeles working at Station 51, but always looking over his shoulder for Waite, or one of his cronies. He could return to the scene of the decade-old crime to testify against the lone surviving perpetrator, but who would believe him? If the pictures he had taken failed to develop after all these years, it would be his word against the word of a very powerful man. Would there be justice after all these years? His thoughts returned to the conflicts ten years earlier, making him question if he would even survive the trip to the courthouse for the trial, had he chosen to testify. And what about Lily? If he didn't return to the family, join them completely, then Lily would be facing her punishment, her 'cleansing,' all alone and for a much longer period of time. The length of her shunning depended completely on whether or not he joined the family. No, he really had no other choice, but he wasn't being forced to join, either.

He scrubbed his face with the palm of his hand, pushing back the tears that threatened to fall. History was repeating itself in his life. He had left his home in Montana to protect his parents from William Waite. Ten years later, he was once again being forced to sacrifice his known life for an unknown exile. Needing to get busy, he stepped toward his closet and removed the old camera case, the camera case that possibly held the only proof of a senseless act that had taken the life of an innocent man. A man who was the same age then as Johnny was now. Phillip's life had been snuffed out too soon, and something inside Johnny's breaking heart was making him feel as though his own life was being slowly smothered out of existence.

The sound of his front door opening pulled him out of his reverie.

"Brother John?"

Johnny sniffled, wiping his sleeve across his cheeks. "Yea, I'm, ah… I'm in my bedroom," he called out. He heard the shuffling sound of footsteps walking down the hallway.

"I'm here to help you. What should I do?" James asked, still concerned that his opportunity to enter the inner circle of Father Hiram might be slipping away. This was always the most critical time during a conversion, the point where they moved from a mere verbal commitment to a tangible one.

"Uh…," Johnny stalled, turning to look at the other man over his shoulder. "Jus', um… Ahem, jus' gimme a few minutes to get some things in order back 'ere, a'right?"

"But I want to-"

"I know!" Johnny said curtly, turning to face James. "I know, I get it. Ya can't leave me alone long enough to take a piss, can ya? 'Cause I might change my mind, right?" He spat out, regretting his raised voice. "Well, I'm not changin' my mind, James. I'm gonna do this, jus'… Jus' gimme a few minutes to collect my thoughts, a'right?" Johnny asked, his voice softening as he stood with his hands on his hips beside his bed, his face angled towards the floor.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea…," he said, walking over to his desk, pulling open the top drawer. "Yea, look… I gotta write my resignation letter, and leave some instr-" he sniffled before continuing. "Instructions about what to do with some o' my stuff. I can't take it with me, and I don't have time to sell it, ya know?"

James hung his head, stepping away from Johnny. He had gotten the answer he had hoped to receive. John was going to go through with his plan, and James was going to make sure nothing stopped him.

"Alright, Brother John. I shall leave you alone to complete your tasks. I will be in the living room, awaiting your instructions for anything that I might help you with. Okay?"

Johnny nodded his head, waving the older man off with his right hand. He swallowed hard, finding his voice as he removed a tablet and pen from the open drawer. "Yea, sure, thanks." He waited for James to leave before he sat down to pen what felt like his Last Will & Testament.

E!

By the time Dixie returned to her post in Rampart's Emergency Department, Dr. Brackett was becoming worried. She saw the intent look on his face, the downcast gaze, and the twitch of his lips. He had one arm across his chest, while the opposite elbow was propped on top of it with his fingers rubbing the worry lines along his forehead.

"Kel?"

"Hmm?" He responded, pocketing his hands into his lab coat.

"What's wrong?" She asked in her usual sultry voice.

Dr. Brackett pulled his right hand out of his pocket, leaning against the counter of the nurses' station. "Dix, have you seen Johnny?"

"No," she replied with a soft smile, "But I'll bet you dollars to donuts that he'll be by here soon to see Christopher DeSoto. You know how close he is to the DeSoto family, especially the kids."

"Yea, well I hope you're right. I asked him to come back by here today, so I could examine him before releasing him back to work tomorrow." Dr. Brackett stood up straight. "Although… I have a feeling he's not going to make the weight limit," he commented, lifting an eyebrow.

Dixie propped her chin on her hand, strumming her manicured nails against her cheek. "I know, he was looking thinner than usual when he was brought in the other day. Maybe that's why he hasn't shown up, yet."

The red light above the base station began to blink, interrupting their discussion. "Uh-oh, better stick around, Kel."

E!

At Johnny's apartment, James was growing impatient as he kept a close check on his recruit, frequently sneaking down the hallway to make sure the younger man was continuing to make his preparations for his departure. He stared at the dark television set, wishing he could turn it on, but knowing it was best if he didn't. It was one of the many things he had missed since joining the family. He couldn't allow his focus to be removed from the young man who, he hoped, was writing his resignation letter to the fire department.

Johnny completed the list of things he hoped Iris would do for him. He then looked at the telephone on his nightstand. He had to call Iris first. Then he hoped he would have time to call Roy and tell him the truth. It would be easier for Roy to hate him for his failure, than to feel rejected by his sudden disappearance. He hadn't talked to his parents in a long time. Not wanting to call them in front of James, he decided to write them a letter, too. He would ask Iris to mail it for him, along with all the other things he was planning to ask her to do.

Exhaling a sigh, he sat down on the edge of his bed, reaching for his telephone. He dialed the familiar number, hoping it would be Iris who answered the call.

"Bloomers, may I help you?" Came the cheerful young voice, not the one he was hoping for.

"Um, may I speak to Iris, please?"

Caroline knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. She thought she recognized the voice as John Gage, but he didn't identify himself. "Yes, hold please."

Johnny rubbed his temples, his anxiety level rising.

"Iris Campbell speaking, may I help you?"

"Hey… It's me," Johnny said, using his softest voice.

"Thorn? Where are you? I've been looking for you." Iris turned her back to Caroline hoping the young woman wouldn't overhear their conversation. "Is Lily with you?"

"Sorry 'bout that. Um, I found her, and she's okay," he hoped he wasn't lying. He still didn't know for sure what was happening to his friend.

"Oh, thank God. Listen, a detective, Lieutenant Ron Crockett, came by here looking for you the other day. Thorn… He told me to let you know that William Waite is sick; he's had a stroke and can barely walk."

Johnny was shocked by the news. The man he remembered as being tall, strong, and intimidating was now… An invalid?

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yes, there's no need for you to hide from him," she said, looking over her shoulder to see that Caroline was busy helping a customer. "You… You can come home."

Johnny felt the backs of his eyes begin to sting. Had things changed? Could his running be over? Iris hadn't mentioned Waite's group of friends, and Johnny wondered if they might still be a threat. Then he thought about Lily and what she was suffering because of him, and he knew he had to carry out the mission he had begun. "Not yet."

"Why? You can go back and testify without being afraid of him. Why can't you come home and bring Lily with you?" She asked, feeling the familiar ache in her heart, the pain that had been her constant companion since her daughter left her years earlier.

"It's not that simple. See-"

"Brother John? Is everything alright?" James inquired, standing in the doorway to the bedroom. He had heard Johnny talking to someone, and he feared the outside influence might have a negative impact on Johnny's impending conversion.

"Fine, James. Jus' gimme a minute, a'right?" Johnny asked, trying to keep the agitation out of his voice.

Johnny waited for the other man to return to the living room before he continued his conversation.

"You can't talk, can you?" Iris asked, feeling a sense of dread, knowing someone else was in the apartment with Johnny.

"No, not really. But, ah, I know what I'm doin'. At least, I hope I do."

"Thorn…"

"Look, I really need your help. I leave a key to my apartment underneath the rug at the door. Use it to come inside and get my camera bag. It'll be on my bed. Inside you'll find a roll of film – THE roll of film. Please get it to the authorities, a'right?"

"Why? You can go back and testify, Thorn. You don't have to just send the film. Do this for Phillip, please?" She pleaded. She had waited a long time to see justice for her murdered brother-in-law.

"I-I can't." He could see James' shadow in the hallway, and knew that the man was listening to his conversation. Part of him wanted to rush the man, tackle him to the ground, and punch him in the face. But the other part, the part that wanted to save Lily, knew that he had to do whatever it took to get back to her.

Caroline was growing more and more worried. "Why? You aren't making any sense!" Iris commented in a harsh whisper, grateful that Caroline was on the opposite side of the store.

Johnny felt torn. He wanted to explain it all to her, but if James overheard him, then the gig was up. "Um," he stuttered, thinking about the nickname she always called him. "I really like the nickname you gave me; it fits me perfectly, don't ya think? I'm glad you taught me the language of flowers. It made a lot o' sense… then and now." He hoped she was getting the cryptic message.

On the other end of the line, Iris was growing emotional. It seemed she was on the verge of losing another person in her life, another person who was as close as family. Looking at Caroline, and remembering what the young woman had told her when she arrived late for work, she had an idea.

"Have you talked to Roy?"

"No," Johnny commented softly. "Please say you'll do it, that you'll come by here."

"Chris is in the hospital," she said quickly, ignoring his request. "He had an attack of appendicitis last night, and had to have surgery. He's at Rampart, if you care enough to go see him," she spat out, hoping to hit Johnny in his Achilles' heel.

"What? Ohmygod, is… is he a'right?"

"Yes, Caroline was a little late coming in this morning because she had to get in touch with her in-laws and ask them to drop Corrie off here, instead of at the DeSotos' house. Chet came by and got her a little while ago. I'm sure that Chris wants to see his Uncle Johnny," she said, knowing she was breaking Johnny's heart.

"Ugh!" Johnny groaned, leaning his head back to look at the ceiling. He ran his hand through his unruly hair, huffing loudly into the phone. He wanted to go by Rampart to visit with Chris. He also needed to talk to Roy… Or did he? Maybe his friends weren't in danger from Waite after all! He could almost hear Iris' voice speaking to him from his past. Teaching him the meaning of the various flowers they saw during their cross-country journey a decade earlier. The truth behind his nickname slapped him squarely on his face. He stood up, holding the receiver in the crook of his neck as he often did with the biophone, and picked up the telephone. He pulled the long cord behind him as he stepped in front of his mirror, spending several long moments staring at his weary reflection.

Thorn was a fitting name for him. He had been living his life behind a mask, disguising himself as a hero. For the first time in a decade he was facing his deepest fear – admitting his own failure and weakness. No longer could he hide behind the evils of William Waite. The monster of a man from Johnny's past was now unable to inflict physical harm on anyone else. That left Johnny able to see his true self in the reflection, and he hated the dark eyes of shame staring back at him. He wasn't running in order to protect his friends and family. He was running so that he would never have to face them, knowing that they knew Phillip Campbell had died that early foggy morning because Johnny had failed to intervene. Now he could see the truth - he couldn't return to testify against Waite even though the perpetrator was incapacitated. He couldn't relive that scene, couldn't handle crossing that bridge again, knowing all the horrors that had taken place there.

He ran his fingers beneath his eyes, drying his tears. He knew that returning would mean admitting his failure to save Phillip, and staying in Los Angeles would mean acknowledging his deceit. Fire fighters were supposed to be heroes, weren't they? He knew that the lie he had been living was about to be exposed, even if he didn't testify. Roy would demand to know the truth. After all, he was about to learn that their friendship had been based on nothing more than a fallacy. How could he face his coworkers when they found out what he had done? He couldn't, and he knew it. He wondered if he had ever truly belonged to that brotherhood. Their disappointment and rejection would be just as difficult for him as what Lily was enduring from the Unity Family. Her anguished cries pierced his memory. He knew exactly how she felt when her spiritual brothers and sisters had turned their backs on her.

"Brother John, Ian will be back soon. Are you ready to leave?" James called out from halfway down the hall. "The banks will be closing soon… And."

"I don't use 'em," he commented. "Don't trust 'em… I'm not quite finished, James. Please jus'… Jus' gimme a little more time," he called out. "Ahhh, damn it!" He cursed into the phone, amazed that Iris was still on the line.

"Don't do this, Thorn. Chris needs you. I need you. The fire department needs you," she pleaded. She felt that she had already lost Lily, and if Johnny joined the cult, then she would lose him, too.

Johnny felt like he was being drawn and quartered. He had nowhere to turn except the Unity Family, yet, he knew that by joining them he would be once again hurting someone he loved. He needed more time to think, but time was a luxury he no longer had. He could still see James' shadow in the hallway. It was strange how he usually made the right split-second decisions at work, yet here he was, needing to make quick decision, and he didn't know what to do. Realizing that he couldn't audibly tell Iris what he needed her to know, he decided to write it down for her to read later.

"Please come by my apartment," he said into the phone. "I'm leaving instructions on my bed for you about what needs to be done. It's critical. Please?" He pleaded again. "And, I need one more favor, too. It's for Chris."

Iris sniffled, struggling to find her voice. "W-what?"

"Please send Chris some balloons from me and tell him I love him… Tell all the DeSotos I love 'em. Chris and Jenny are great kids. I'll leave the money on my bed beside the camera bag. Jus' please come over here… I-I love you," he said, hanging up the telephone, closing his eyes in silent prayer that Iris would do as he had requested.

If Iris told Roy the truth, that Johnny's life in Los Angeles had been merely a disguise, covering up his cowardice by pretending to be a hero, then he would understand why Johnny had to leave. Roy would be disgusted by his behavior, and would be grateful to have John Gage out of his life and the lives of Joanne and the kids. Then he would tell the rest of the guys at 51's. And Hank would quickly accept the resignation letter. He had lost people who were close to him, his entire family, Drew being the most recent, but the pain he was feeling now was worse than he had ever imagined. His heart was completely broken.

E!

Iris hung up the phone, replaying her strange conversation with Johnny over and over again in her mind. Why had he mentioned his nickname and the language of flowers? He had been trying to send her a message, unable to say what he truly meant because of the presence of the other person in his apartment.

She had given him the nickname of Thorn not long after picking him up along the highway when he was a teenager. It had been difficult for her to call him John as that had been what she had called her deceased husband, although it was with a different spelling. His name had been Jonathan Campbell, and she had called him Jon. It seemed fitting for Johnny to be given a 'floral' name to match hers and Lily's. During the trip, Johnny had mentioned how much he missed his long hair. He had cut off several inches of it prior to heading out on his personal quest, intentionally hiding his Native American Heritage. Because of this, she had called him Thornapple, explaining that it was a plant that was also known as Jimson Weed. In the language of flowers, it was often used to mean 'disguise.'

Suddenly, she gasped out loud, her hand flying to her open mouth. Why hadn't she thought of it earlier? It was as obvious as the sunrise.

She believed that Johnny was only pretending to be joining the cult as a way of helping Lily escape. Once again, his actions were merely a disguise. She hurriedly set about creating a large bouquet of balloons that would be the envy of every hospitalized child in Rampart's Pediatric Department. She would do what Johnny had asked; she would deliver the balloons to Chris, hoping the child's father would be there when she stopped by. Perhaps Roy would have an idea of how to help Johnny rescue Lily from the grips of the cult. With joy in her heart, and a fresh spring in her step, Iris filled the balloons with helium, then headed for the back door to make her special delivery, fully believing that she would soon have her daughter - and Johnny - back in her life.

"Caroline, please lock up for me. I won't be back today," she called out over her shoulder, knowing that the conversation with Roy might take a while. She also needed to go by Johnny's apartment first, to pick up the instructions he had left her.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," Caroline commented, strumming her fingers on the counter. She was sure that the man who had called Iris was John Gage, and she couldn't wait to get home to tell Chet about the angry exchange between Iris and Johnny. Caroline hadn't overheard the actual conversation, but she could read Iris' body language, and the older woman was VERY upset during the phone call, but her mood had lightened quickly afterwards. Johnny and Iris were still a mystery, one that Caroline wanted to figure out – and she knew that Chet would be intrigued by this new development, too.

E!

By the time Roy woke up, the shadows had grown long across the bedroom floor. Realizing that he had slept longer than he had intended, he quickly made a call to Rampart to check on Chris' condition. Upon hearing that his son was improving, and that he had even been able to eat a little jello, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"That's fantastic Jo. I'm gonna get a quick shower and then I'll come down and relieve you so you can come home. Do you think I should bring Jenny by to visit her brother?"

"No, she's fine with Mrs. Kennedy, but…

"But what? Do you need me to bring you anything?" He asked.

Joanne looked at Chris, thinking about what the child had asked her while he was eating his jello.

"Well… Could you call Johnny? Chris really wants to see him," she said, biting her lower lip. If Roy would agree to talk to Johnny, then maybe the two friends could repair their broken relationship.

"Yea… Yea, I'll give him a call. See you soon, Jo. Tell Chris I'll be there as soon as I can get dressed and eat something."

Roy hung up the phone, quickly dialing Johnny's number. When he got no answer, he decided to drop by the younger man's apartment on his way to Rampart. He needed to set things right between himself and Johnny, and he knew that right now, a visit from his surrogate uncle would be just what Chris needed to make him feel better, too.

E!

Iris stood inside Johnny's bedroom, her shaky hands holding the letter he had left for her on his bed. She had completely misunderstood his intentions. He wasn't pretending to be joining the cult in order to help Lily escape. Johnny was actually joining the Unity Family, and he had no intention of ever returning to Los Angeles, or the life he had worked so hard to build for himself.

She stared at the list of things he wanted her to do. Pay the penalty for breaking his lease, sell his furniture, give away his clothes to a homeless shelter, and… Her tears fell even harder as she read his final requests. He wanted her to take the money in his checking account for herself. He had even left her a couple of signed checks. Then he wanted his savings divided equally between Christopher and Jenny DeSoto. Finally, he wanted her to give Roy the keys to his Rover. No, John Gage was definitely not coming back.

She quickly dried her eyes, gathered up the items he had left for her on his bed, and headed for the front door. She slipped the spare key back underneath the doormat, glancing from side to side to make sure none of his neighbors were watching. She had to get to Rampart, not only to deliver the balloons to Chris DeSoto, but to talk to Roy. Johnny was in trouble, and it was going to take everyone Iris could think of to help him and Lily escape the grip of the cult.

Tossing the camera bag and letters onto the seat of her vehicle, she backed out of the parking spot, and pulled into the evening traffic. Her heart was pounding inside her chest, and her level of anxiety was rising with each beat. Could she ask Roy for help when his son was recovering from surgery? She was so caught up in her thoughts about Lily and Johnny, that she didn't see the gold Porsche turning into the opposite entrance of the parking lot.

When Roy arrived at Johnny's apartment complex, he saw the familiar white Rover parked in its usual spot. Breathing a sigh of relief, he pulled his sports car in beside it, and quickly headed for apartment B-6.

Roy knocked and waited for his partner to open the door. When there was no response, he knocked louder. "Johnny?"

After several long moments of futile knocking, Roy became worried for Johnny. He looked again at the parking lot, just to confirm that the Rover was still there. Seeing it still sitting in its parking space, he began to have a niggling feeling in his gut that something was very wrong with his partner. He decided to use the spare key Johnny had told him about not long after they had been assigned to Station 51.

Roy slipped the key into the lock, turning it until he heard the lock disengage. Slowly, he pushed on the front door, sticking his head inside and calling out to Johnny one more time.

"Hey, Junior? You alright?"

He was met by total silence. Gulping back the bile that was rising in his throat, he flipped on the light and looked around the apartment. Nothing seemed out of place.

"Johnny? Are you here?" He called, walking down the hallway toward the bedroom. The bedroom was empty, but one of the drawers was askew. Roy pulled it open, stunned to see that most of Johnny's socks and boxers were gone. He rushed to the closet, finding only Johnny's better clothing items remaining. Most of his tee shirts and jeans had been removed, evidenced by the empty hangers hanging on the metal rod. With a lump forming in his throat, he headed for the coat closet in the living room. This was where Johnny stored his camping equipment. If it was missing, then maybe Johnny had gone camping with someone, although Roy had never known him to go camping without taking his own vehicle.

He pulled back on the door, and nearly yelped when a large book fell off the shelf above his head. He caught it, grateful that it hadn't slammed into his face. He was still sporting some bruising around his eye from his last visit to this apartment. He would never live it down if he got a broken nose, especially since Johnny wasn't even present.

He saw the camping equipment, stored haphazardly, as was Johnny's habit. With the thought of Johnny camping extinguished, he turned the book over in his hand, preparing to put it back on the shelf from which it had fallen, but a picture on the cover caught his attention. This was an old photo album, one that Roy had never seen.

With his curiosity piqued, Roy took a few moments to look through the pictures, noting that they were from Johnny's past. As he turned the pages, the images became more and more disturbing. Beads of sweat popped out on Roy's forehead as he saw scenes that were both familiar and haunting. He read the hand-written captions beneath a few of the pictures, but one caught his eyes, startling him beyond belief.

"Ohmygod, Johnny! I-I never knew you were there… Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered into the silence of the apartment. His heart was pounding and his blood was rushing in his ears. He finally understood who Iris was, and how she was connected to Johnny. His only question was why were they keeping it a secret from his friends?

He stared at the picture of three people, two of whom he recognized. A much younger Johnny, with very short hair, was standing between two ladies. One of them was obviously Iris, but the other one, a teenager, was someone Roy had never seen. Beneath the photograph was the caption that held the answer to the question that had been bugging him for several days.

Roy closed the photo album, returning it carefully to the shelf in the closet. He rushed out the door, making sure to lock it behind him, fishing his car keys out of his pocket as he took the stairs two at a time. He had to get to the hospital to see his son, and to tell Joanne what he now knew to be the truth about Iris Campbell's identity.

E!