A House Divided - Johnny's Journey

by Piscean6724

Just when the lives of the men of Station 51 seem to be returning to normal, their youngest member experiences his own crisis. What secrets from Johnny's past lead him on a journey to connect the past to the present? Will Johnny's journey take him into a future without the rest of 51's A-shift? This is the sixth and final installment in the "A House Divided" series. NOW COMPLETE.

14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Roy made his way down the hallway of the pediatric department, nodding his head in greeting to the nurses who were busy charting at the nurses' station. He rounded the corner, knocking lightly as he entered Chris' room.

"Wow! Who sent those?" He asked upon seeing the colorful balloons tied to the bedrail. He dreaded telling his son that his favorite uncle wouldn't be by to visit him.

"Uncle Johnny sent them," Chris said, his face beaming. "He's out of town, but he sent me these. And… Mrs. Campbell brought me these," he said, pushing a coloring book and crayons across the small bedside table in the direction of his father.

"How thoughtful," he commented, eyeing Joanne who sat staring at him.

Joanne could tell that something was very wrong with her husband. After all, she had known him since the fourth grade, and no one was better able to read Roy DeSoto than Joanne.

"Everything okay, Roy?" She asked, standing and stretching her back.

"Yes, I wasn't able to get up with Johnny, but I guess you figured that out," he said, nodding at the balloons. He couldn't help but wonder who had told Johnny about Chris' hospitalization.

The couple watched as Chris occupied himself with his crayons for a moment. "Hey, Sport? I need to talk to your mom for just a minute. We'll be right outside the door, okay?"

"'kay," the child responded without even looking up.

"He's feeling much better," Joanne said, walking through the door that Roy was holding open for her. As soon as the door closed behind them, she turned to face her husband. "Spill it, Roy."

"I couldn't find Johnny, but I… I went by his apartment. I was checking to see if he'd gone camping, and I found something I've never seen before." He stared at the floor, wondering if Joanne would even believe him. "Joanne, I know who Iris is."

E!

Iris sat at her kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee. She stared at the film canister sitting in the middle of her kitchen table. She sipped her coffee, flipping the business card over and over with her free hand. What should she tell Lieutenant Crockett?

Finally, deciding she had no other options, she walked over to her telephone, dialing the home phone number he had written on the back of the card.

"Hello?"

"Um, Lieutenant Crockett?"

"Speaking," came the gruff voice on the other end of the line.

"This is, ah, this is Iris Campbell," she said, feeling awkward calling the detective at home, even though he had given her permission to do so.

"Mrs. Campbell, good to hear from you. Did you get in touch with John?" Ron asked, suddenly sounding much more interested in the phone call.

"Well… That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm… I'm really worried about him."

Crockett creased his forehead. This was not what he had expected to hear. "What's going on?" He asked, his voice deepening.

Iris spent the next half hour telling the detective everything that had happened that day, including the fact that she was now in possession of the roll of film. She had to fight with her emotions to keep her voice audible. Anxiety and anguish were constricting her throat, her eyes were burning, and her heart was pounding inside her chest. She felt torn between her loyalty to Johnny and her need to find someone to help him, eventually giving into the worry for his safety. She was at a loss for what to do, or where to turn. Talking to the detective was her last resort.

In his home, Ronald Crockett felt his stomach begin to burn. He was very familiar with Holistic Unity Gardens. He had been working with the California Bureau of Investigation, as well as the FBI, regarding the cult. Hiram Ultman Gardner had been using his initials to create various fake businesses over the years; the latest of which was Holistic Unity Gardens. There had been rumors for years that the man was a drug lord, but because he was so well hidden and protected behind the religious fortress he had created, no charges had ever been filed against him because no evidence had ever been secured.

Ron had pulled over a couple of delivery trucks in recent months, trying to find cause to search the vehicles. So far, he hadn't been able to find any evidence of wrongdoing. Why would John want to join such a group? Crockett squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. He wasn't at liberty to disclose what he knew about Hiram Gardner. The investigation was an active one.

"Mrs. Campbell, are you sure he isn't coming back? I've known John for a while now, and this just doesn't seem like the John Gage I know."

"I agree, Lieutenant, but I've got his hand-written note right here… And please call me Iris."

"Very well, and I'm Ron," he said, his voice sounding lighter. "Have you mentioned this to Roy DeSoto, or Captain Stanley?"

Iris sighed audibly into the phone. "No… Roy's son is in the hospital; he had surgery for appendicitis. And I just don't know the other men well enough… Well, actually, I kind of know Chet Kelly. His fiancé works for me. Do you think I should call him?"

Crockett clicked his tongue. "That's your decision, Iris, but I think the guys would want to know. They're a close bunch – brothers, just like police officers." He knew that no one was closer to Johnny than those men who worked beside him, laying their lives on the line to protect the life and property of the citizens – and each other. These same men had saved Johnny's life before, in the line of duty. Perhaps they would know of a way to get Johnny out of this predicament, too.

"He did leave a letter addressed to Captain Stanley… It… It's his resignation letter. I just… I just don't know if I can give it to Captain Stanley. He loves his job, Ron."

"I know," the detective sighed, "and he's good at it." Thinking quickly, Ron piped up. "Have you read the letter?"

"No, it has a note saying he wanted me to give it to his captain. I really don't want to, Ron, but what else can I do?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe you should give Chet a call. I've got some contacts that might know something. I'll check in with them. Maybe we can discuss this more in a day, or so?"

"Okay, thank you, Le- err, I mean, Ron. Johnny's going to be angry, but I think his friends need to know. Maybe they can talk some sense into him."

"Let me know what Chet says, and in the meantime, I'll see what I can dig up," Crockett replied. "If you find out anything else, please call me – day or night. I'll do the same."

"Thank you," Iris replied, feeling a little better just knowing that another person was sharing her burden.

She sat staring at the phone for several minutes, unable to bring herself to make the call to Chet. She needed to think about it a little longer, needed to formulate a plan for how to share Johnny's darkest secret with his closest friends.

E!

Johnny lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, fighting the extreme sleepiness the nightly tea seemed to cause. As his brain became more and more muddled, he thought he heard hushed voices whispering outside the dorm. His hearing had always been extremely keen, making him one of the best search and rescue men in the state. He wanted to walk to the door to see what was happening, especially since the dorm had no windows, only a couple of doors on the ends of the building which allowed for ventilation when the weather was warm. However, his body seemed to be made of lead, and the whispering voices faded away as he drifted into a deep slumber.

When morning came, he awoke with the rest of the men, to the sound of the horn blowing – their summons to the sanctuary.

"What's happenin'?"

"Today's service is for you, Brother John. You will become one of us, officially," James stated with a smile. "The process is a largely ceremonial one, and will only be attended by the men."

"Lily won't be there? How will she know I've joined?" Johnny asked worriedly.

"Father Hiram will tell her. He is very excited to have someone like you joining our family. He is quite proud of you." James walked over to Johnny's bed, taking a seat beside the younger man as the rest of the men filed out of the dorm room. He could tell the new convert was nervous, but compliant, and he wanted to do whatever he could to alleviate Johnny's stress. "We're all very proud of you, and very happy to consider you a true brother."

Johnny felt his face darken with a blush. He had told James everything about his past, and yet, this man still wanted to call him a brother. He had to admit that the idea gave him a warm feeling inside. He ran his hand through his mussed up hair.

"So, Brother James, what kind of ceremony are we about to have?"

"The same one we have all gone through. It is symbolic of your old self dying and the new you being reborn into our family." James was careful not to give too many details, afraid that the humiliation he knew John was about to endure might make him change his mind. "Afterwards, Father Hiram will tell Lily that you are now a full member of the family, and that her shunning will be greatly diminished. She will be overjoyed by your decision, Brother John," he said, clamping his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "You are about to make her a very happy woman. She loves you; I am sure you know that, right?"

"Yea, and I lo-"

A second horn sounded, cutting Johnny's admission short. James stood up with Johnny following him. "It is time."

The duo walked in silence to the sanctuary. Lining the entrance were most of the women of the group; only Lily and Gretchen were missing. Each one held a small bouquet of flowers, smiling at Johnny and James as they walked into the sanctuary.

"You see, we are ALL delighted that you have chosen to join us," James announced, pushing through the wooden door.

The aisle of the sanctuary was lined by the men, each one patting Johnny on the back as he walked past them, following James to the altar.

The front of the sanctuary held several items Johnny recognized. There was a clear cup with what looked like milk in it, a small loaf of bread, a few small pieces of fruit, clothing similar to that worn by the other men, folded and set on one side, and a pair of sandals positioned beside them.

Father Hiram emerged from his quarters and began the ceremony. There were several accolades bestowed on Johnny, as well as a list of requirements for him to promise to follow. His vows included foregoing haircuts and shaving. He had no problem agreeing to those conditions, even though he could almost hear Captain Stanley's voice chiding him for his hair length. The thought of his captain brought a fresh wave of remorse washing over his soul. He was going to really miss the men from 51's.

"Look around at your new family gathered in support of you, Brother John," Hiram instructed, aware of the emotional pain he was about to inflict on the younger man. It was a necessary psychological process. When Johnny complied, he continued. "Our brother, you stand before us now in the process of being reborn. There is no shame or embarrassment in this moment. Share with us your deepest sorrows so that we may share your pain, and help shoulder your burdens with you."

Johnny gulped. Could he confess the events of 1965 with these men? James already knew the details, and for a moment, Johnny regretted having shared that with the other man. He slowly turned his face to the right, seeing James giving him an almost imperceptible nod of encouragement, and Johnny knew he had no choice but to tell the tale again. Would he still be accepted? James hadn't rejected him, would Father Hiram and the others? He felt like an orphaned child; with no fire department family left, he wanted, needed the acceptance of the Unity Family, a true place to belong. Ultimately, he wanted to remove the mask he had been living behind for ten years, to stop hiding in shame because of his past failures.

In a ragged voice, Johnny told the group about that foggy spring morning, and the events that led up to the death of Phillip Campbell. He couldn't stop the tears that flowed as he relived the nightmare. He trembled, unsure of the reaction he might receive from the assembled group. When he finished his confession, he was rewarded with several strong hands patting his shoulders.

"Now, John, it is time for your rebirth. Remove your worldly garments. You must stand before your brothers in your nakedness, just as you came into this world naked," Father Hiram announced as the rest of the men stepped closer.

"Uh," Johnny gulped, unsure if he had heard correctly.

"Naked you were born into the world, and naked you shall be born into our family," the bearded leader instructed. Hesitation was commonplace during this part of the initiation process. He knew that by the other men forming a semi-circle around the recruit, he would feel a little more pressure to comply.

Johnny was accustomed to seeing naked men, but usually it was during a medical emergency where clothing had to be removed in order to render life-saving treatment. His mind took him back to several incidences where his own clothing had been cut off due to his injuries, but this was different. Could he do this? Could he strip naked in front of these men? He felt the heat of humiliation radiating from his chest, coloring his face.

James leaned near him, whispering supportive words to the embarrassed paramedic. "We've all done it, Brother John. The human body is a vessel for the soul. Do not be ashamed of your body. Lily has gone through this as well, in front of the other women. If she can do it, then so can you," he encouraged, challenging the masculinity of the fireman.

Slowly, Johnny began removing his clothing, starting with his hiking boots. He thought of how easy it was to change from his street clothes into his uniform in front of the other guys at the station. The difference, here, was that he was going to be stark naked in front of men who were barely acquaintances, not standing in his boxers, or with a towel around his waist in front of men who were his best friends. This was totally different, and he hated the degradation he felt as he lowered his boxers, exposing his manhood as the cotton garment fell to the floor. He used his hands to cover himself as he stepped out of the material pooled at his feet. He had never felt so vulnerable and exposed in his life, as he felt at this moment. He closed his eyes, unable to look at anyone in his current state of undress. He heard James picking up the discarded articles, and he wondered what would happen to his clothes.

Johnny knew the men behind him could see his nude backside. James, who was standing beside him and Father Hiram had the full frontal view, and his breathing rate increased from the emotional stress. He had reached the lowest point of his life. He had given up his career, his family, his friends, his possessions, and now even his dignity. He truly had nothing left; he wasn't even sure that Lily would still want him after what she was suffering because of their time together.

"Well done, Brother John. Just as you have rid yourself of your worldly garments, so too have you rid your soul of your deepest worries. It is time to be fully embraced by your new family," Father Hiram announced. "But first, we must bury your past life."

The leader accepted the discarded clothing and shoes from James and walked over to a wooden box. He placed Johnny's clothes inside, closing the lid and pounding a large nail into the wooden structure to seal it shut. He returned to the group, waving his hands across the altar.

"Brethren, if you are willing to accept this brother as a full member of the Unity Family, then please begin the next part of the ceremony."

Johnny rapidly blinked his watery eyes. He wanted to dry his cheeks of the tears he had shed, but he didn't want to remove his hands from covering his nakedness. He felt a hand on his elbow, and shifted his head to his right. He saw James holding a pair of white boxer shorts.

"When we are first born, we are totally helpless. We must rely on others to meet our most basic needs. We will now dress you, our brother, to show our love and acceptance of you," James explained.

Johnny was shivering as he stepped into the boxers James held in his hands, embarrassed even more when his new friend pulled the elastic waistband over his hips. He removed his hands, reaching for the boxers to finish the job, but Ian stopped him.

"No… Let us do this for you, brother," Ian stated.

After James pulled on the boxers, Ian added Johnny's new pants, and two other men assisted with his undershirt and shirt. Two more added his sandals. He was then instructed to kneel in front of the altar and fed a cup of milk and bites of bread and fruit from the remaining men. When all of the men present had participated in the ceremony, Father Hiram stepped forward carrying a bowl of warm water and a white cloth.

"Brother John Gage, lift your face towards me," the leader ordered. When Johnny complied, Hiram wet the cloth in the water, and used it to wash Johnny's face, removing the tears that had stained his chiseled features. "Now, you have been reborn, clothed, nourished, and quenched. Your tears have been washed away along with all your past failures. You are a new being. Rise and join the members of your new family, my child," Father Hiram announced, lifting his arms in front of Johnny.

Johnny felt two strong arms assist him into a standing position. He inhaled deeply as he stood up to his full height, and found himself surrounded by the men of the group. Each voiced his support and gratitude for what Johnny had just completed. Suddenly, the doors of the sanctuary opened and the women were brought in. There were more hugs and congratulatory comments from them, but the one face he longed to see was noticeably absent. Lily wasn't there, but he knew she wouldn't be allowed to join them, yet. However, Gretchen wasn't present, either. He was about to ask for her when Father Hiram ordered the assembled group to the feeding hall for the celebration meal. Johnny, realizing that he was the guest of honor, and feeling relieved to have gotten through the initiation ceremony with the support of the group, decided not to ask for her now. Although he had resigned from the fire service, he was still a paramedic. He just hoped that she had chosen to rest following her miscarriage.

E!

Roy sat on the bench in front of his locker, pulling on his socks and shoes as he waited for Kyle Greene to join him. Although he had wanted to stay at the hospital with Chris, he knew that there was nothing he could do for his son. Joanne had encouraged him to work his shift, checking on Chris whenever he made a run by Rampart. Christopher was scheduled to be discharged the following morning, and Roy had agreed to pick him up, giving him a ride home in the Porsche.

"Hey, Roy," Chet said, pushing through the locker room door in his usual rush. "How's Chris?"

Roy looked up at the Irishman, offering as much of a smile as he could muster. "Much better. He should be discharged home tomorrow."

"Aw, that's great, man," the lineman stated, peeling out of his street clothes and into his department blues.

"Sorry about the babysitter blunder," Roy offered.

"No problem. I kept the little princess yesterday, and Caroline is taking her to Mama Lopez today. Iris said it wouldn't be a problem if she took her to the shop, but Corrie and Antonio are best buddies now."

Just as the door opened to reveal Kyle rushing in already in uniform, the klaxons sounded.

"Station 51 – woman down – 1742 Laurel Terrace – 1-7-4-2 Laurel Terrace – Cross Street, Hill. Time out: 0753."

"Are you ready, Greene?" Roy asked, closing his locker door.

"You bet," the younger medic responded, excitedly, tossing his bag into his locker and rushing out the door.

"We're all here, Cap," Mike called out to Hank as the on-coming fire captain headed for the radio to acknowledge the call.

"We've got it," Hank told the departing captain as he reached for the microphone. "Station 51, KMG-365."

Roy passed the address slip over to Kyle while Hank hit the button to lift the bay door. "No need to consult the maps," the senior medic said to Kyle as the younger man began thumbing through the pages of the map book. "I know the address."

"Alright," Kyle announced, his chin strap waving in the wind as the squad pulled into traffic, followed closely by her bigger sister.

E!

Johnny felt unusually giddy as his reception into the Unity Family continued. He had never been the recipient of such a warm and welcoming celebration. The event lasted longer than he had anticipated, and even Father Hiram joined in the festivities.

"Brother John, I am so pleased that you have joined us. We are much stronger because of you. I am honored by your commitment," Hiram spoke, patting Johnny on his shoulder.

"Um, I was jus' wonderin', Is… Is Gretchen a'right?" He asked, unable to turn off the paramedic in him.

"Ahem," Father Hiram began, looking sorrowfully into Johnny's dark eyes. "I'm afraid that our sister has chosen to leave us. She has returned to her home in Los Angeles."

"Oh," Johnny responded in shock. "I hope she went to see her doctor. She looked pale when I saw her last."

"She had suffered a miscarriage, Brother John. I assure you that when she left us, she was in good health. Brother Augustus drove her to LA last night. I wanted to ensure her safe travels. It is not my desire for harm to befall my children, even those who wish to depart from us. It is always free choice," the elder man replied, pressing his lips into a thin line. "The loss of our baby was difficult for both of us. But," he said, clamping his hand on the back of Johnny's neck. "The transgressions that resulted in the loss have been forgiven. I do not hold you responsible for what happened, and Sister Lily is being completely restored to us, sooner now that you have joined us. This is a time to celebrate what we have gained, not to be remorseful for that which is no more."

Johnny hung his head, his own guilt still weighing heavily on his heart. Lily was alone, being shunned by the group because of him. Gretchen had suffered a miscarriage. Unlike Lily, Johnny knew that the two events were not connected, both of them represented a tremendous sorrow for each woman. His grief for their losses was palpable.

Father Hiram saw the regret on Johnny's long face. "Brother John?"

"Yea?"

"Come with me. I believe you should see your beloved. I want you to tell her that you have joined us completely."

"Really? I can see Lily today?" Johnny asked, hope returning to his voice.

"Yes… I believe it is best," Father Hiram announced. He stood up, motioning to Johnny, then turned to James. "Brother James, I'd like to have a private conversation with you, as well."

"Yes, Father," James responded, following Johnny and Hiram towards the sanctuary. He hoped that he was about to be admitted into the inner circle of the most powerful man he had ever known.

E!

Inside a small room, Lily sat rocking back and forth on the small bed. She was being punished for her failure to follow the rules of the family. Her actions had taken the life of an innocent baby, and she didn't know if she would ever be able to forgive herself. When she had lured Johnny away from the rest of the group that night, her intention was to become intimate with him again, to convince him that this was the place where he could find everything he had ever wanted – her, and a place to truly belong.

Instead, he had rejected her seduction and Gretchen had suffered a miscarriage. Now she sat cross-legged on the hard cold mattress, tears forming a steady waterfall from her reddened face to her lap. Had she lost Johnny forever? Had the events of yesterday's chapel service sent him running back to Los Angeles? As she wallowed in her recriminations, a gentle knock sounded at the door.

"Sister Lily?"

Lily wiped her face with the backs of her hands. Her leader had come to see her again, and she had no idea why he had returned. She sniffled, sliding off the bed into a kneeling position.

"Y-Yes, Father?"

The door creaked open and Hiram stood before her, and he was smiling. "Sister Lily, we have news for you," the leader stated, stepping aside so she could see Johnny standing in the doorway, fully clothed in the garments that only initiated members of the family were allowed to wear.

A new wave of tears pooled along her lower lids. Her suffering had not been wasted. He was here, and he was a full member. A smile warmed her face, and she clasped her hands together beneath her chin. She wished that she could throw herself into his arms, that he could kiss her and take away her pain. But, she knew that her cleansing was not yet complete. However, when she was allowed to emerge from her seclusion and her shunning ended, he would be there. He would be with her forever.

E!

Roy made the turn onto Laurel Terrace, the small narrow strip of asphalt that ran behind The Pourhouse. He saw a familiar waitress waving her arms at the approaching emergency vehicles.

"Ohmygod, Roy!" Amy cried, rushing to the place where the squad came to a stop.

"What's going on?" He asked, trying to calm the hysterical waitress while his partner ran over to the pile of boxes near the garbage cans.

"It…," Amy heaved, tears flowing down her cheeks. "It's… Gret-Gretchen," she cried, turning to Hank as soon as he reached her side. "I found h-her…when I… brought out… the garbage a… a few minutes ago," she wept, her voice ragged and hoarse.

"Got a weak pulse, DeSoto," Kyle called out, kneeling down beside the unconscious victim, setting up the biophone.

"Whatcha need?" Chet called out, hesitating near the squad, preparing to deliver whatever equipment might be needed.

Roy pulled out the trauma and drug boxes. "Better get the O2," he called over his shoulder.

"Rampart, this is Squad 51, how do you read?" Kyle spoke into the biophone, his voice much calmer than he was actually feeling.

Roy began his assessment, counting pulse and respirations before wrapping Gretchen's upper arm with the BP cuff. He listened intently as the thumping faded in his ears, then called out the vitals to his partner. "80/50, pulse about 60 and weak, respiration 10," he called out flatly.

As Kyle relayed the information to Rampart, Roy used his pen light to assess for pupillary response. "Pin points," he said with a grimace, quickly replacing his pen light and closely inspecting Gretchen's arms for needle marks. He checked her nailbeds and her lips, seeing a blue tinge. "Get that oxygen on her now," he ordered Chet.

Vince directed the crew of the Mayfield ambulance to the back of The Pourhouse, as Roy began working to insert the ordered IV.

"Damn it, Gretchen. Work with me here," Roy cursed, as the vein he had punctured blew out.

"What's going on, Greene?" Hank inquired, kneeling down beside his replacement paramedic.

"Looks like an overdose, Cap," he responded, passing another IV kit to Roy. "Jugular?" He asked the older man.

"No… I got it," Roy said, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Let's go," he called out, taping down the tubing.

The men quickly loaded Gretchen onto the awaiting gurney, the oxygen tank positioned between her knees, with Roy holding the IV bag above his head.

"I'll ride in with her," Roy told Kyle.

"Greene, go with him. Kelly, bring in the squad, Pal." Hank watched as his orders were carried out. He then turned to Amy, wrapping his arm around his favorite waitress. "I'm sorry, Amy. I didn't know she was back."

Amy used her apron to dry her eyes. "She wasn't. This is the first… first time I've seen her since… since she left. I just can't believe it. Drugs?" She cried, leaning into Hank's supportive arm as she felt her legs begin to tremble.

"Easy, Amy. Take a seat. Your adrenaline is wearing off." Hank directed her to the tailboard of the engine. "Maybe you should go home. Can someone else cover your shift?"

"I'm off. That's why I was taking out the boxes," she said, accepting his assistance as she sat down.

"Want us to call someone to come and get you?"

Amy shook her head slowly. "No… I wanna go to Rampart. She… She ain't got nobody, Hank. Humph," she chuckled sarcastically. "Where's her damn hippie friends now?"

Inside the Mayfair ambulance, the paramedics were intent on saving the life of the former waitress. Roy had just been ordered to insert an esophageal airway and begin artificial respirations. She had gone into full respiratory arrest.

"Keep the air going," Roy ordered, listening for breath sounds in both lungs as his partner forced air into them.

"Heart rate's dropping," Kyle announced, watching the datascope.

Roy picked up the receiver of the biophone. "Rampart, esophageal airway is in place and artificial respirations have been initiated. Patient's heart rate has dropped to 48. ETA," he looked out the back of the ambulance, feeling a sense of relief that they were turning into the long drive at the back of the hospital. "ETA, one minute," he reported, reaching for the medication he knew would be ordered.

"10-4, 51," Dr. Early responded. "Administer .5 mg atropine."

"One-half milligram atropine," Roy repeated. He had barely finished the delivery of the medication when Kyle alerted Roy.

"Damn! She's crashing, DeSoto!"

Roy immediately began chest compressions as the ambulance backed into the bay at the entrance of the hospital.

The doors of Rampart's Emergency Department opened and the orderlies rushed the gurney down the hallway with Roy riding the rails, continuing CPR while Kyle followed at Gretchen's head, pushing life-saving air into her lungs.

"Two," Dixie announced, her voice firm.

Roy felt the sweat running down his back, forming a dark stain of perspiration in a vee pattern on his uniform. It trickled down from his forehead, stinging his eyes as he continued to pump on the frail chest of the once lively waitress. "Come on… damn it," he huffed between compressions. It was always more difficult to work on someone he knew. He saw the defibrillator being pushed up to the side of the exam table, and he knew what to expect.

"One – Two – Three – Four – Clear!"

Roy stepped down from the rails, lifting his arms to break contact with Gretchen as did Kyle. Both watched as the jolt surged through the young woman's body, arching it upwards then dropping it back down onto the gurney, but she remained lifeless.

"Hit her again," Early ordered Dr. Morton as he began to draw up the epinephrine.

"One – Two – Three – Four – Clear!"

The small group pulled away from Gretchen as another jolt jarred her body. Again, the line on the datascope remained flat.

"Stand back," Early ordered as Morton injected the medication into the line Roy had established on scene, while the senior medic continued his compressions.

"One – Two – Three – Four – Clear!"

Zchunk!

E!

Lieutenant Ronald Crockett closed his office door, ensuring that the conversation he was about to have was a private one. There was too much at stake, and he knew it. He sat down behind his heavy oak desk, picking up the telephone receiver and punching the buttons with his index finger.

When a deep voice answered on the third ring, he shifted the receiver closer to his mouth and lowered his voice.

"Hey, Davenport… Crockett. Any new developments with HUG?" He asked his friend, using the acronym for Holistic Unity Gardens.

"We're working on it. Progress is slow, but our guys are advancing. Hopefully, we'll be able to nail that sonofabitch soon," the special investigator commented.

Ron wasn't sure he wanted to tell his friend about the Unity Family's newest recruit, but he knew that it could be critical. He swallowed hard, hesitating a little too long.

"Crockett? Why're you asking? What's really going on, man? You got something for us?"

"Uh, yea… maybe… I don't want to discuss it on the phone, but this city cop could really use some help from you federal boys… It's got to be completely under the table, man. Completely under the table."

"Alright… Why don't we meet for lunch? I'll pick up some tacos, you get us a couple of sodas, and we'll meet at the rest area on the 405, same place we usually meet."

"I'll be there at noon. Thanks, man. I really appreciate this," Crockett said, hanging up the phone. This was going to be a difficult conversation, but if Iris was right, it was also going to be a very necessary one. If his suspicions were correct, and they normally were, then Johnny was in a very dangerous situation.

E!

Iris began her daily routine of opening up the flower shop. She had given Caroline permission to bring Corrie to work with her today since Joanne wasn't available. Iris really wanted to talk to Caroline, to tell the young woman the truth about her relationship with Johnny and about her estranged daughter, but she knew she couldn't do it with Corrie around, nor did she want to have the conversation at Bloomers. It was times like these that made her realize just how alone she truly was. She had no friends, having become a recluse after her daughter left her.

She looked around the shop, realizing that the place comprised her entire life, which really wasn't much. She had grown close to Joanne DeSoto while she had worked at Bloomers, but if Joanne found out the truth, would she still consider Iris to be a friend? After all, both Iris and Johnny had pretended not to know each other when Joanne introduced them. No, friends don't lie to each other, and Iris knew it. On the other hand, she had grown very fond of Caroline, even offering to provide all of the flowers for her upcoming wedding - free of charge. Yet, if Caroline and Chet found out the truth, would their growing friendship be in jeopardy, too? Again, the answer seemed like a resounding affirmative.

Jon was dead, Lily was lost, and now Johnny had run away. Perhaps it was time to return to her roots. Maybe it was time to head back home to Kizzy. Her mother-in-law had always accepted her, in spite of their obvious differences. Yet, she knew she couldn't leave without trying to rescue Lily and Johnny, but what could one middle-aged widow do to fight a powerful cult?

The back door of the shop opened, and Iris quickly painted on her happy façade.

"Good morning, Iris," Caroline called out as she walked over to the work counter and stowed her purse on the lower shelf.

"Good morning… Um, did you forget someone?" Iris asked, seeing that Caroline was alone.

"Oh, no, Mrs. Lopez offered to keep Corrie for me today. Antonio and Corrie have become best friends, so they were both happy to have a play date," she said with a slight giggle. Her chipper mood quickly faded as she noticed the dark circles beneath Iris' reddened eyes. "Iris? What's wrong?"

Iris fought hard to dam up the tears, but as soon as Caroline placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, the dam began to leak. She patted her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a little… I don't know… blue, I guess."

"No one's here, why don't we get some coffee and talk about it?" Caroline said, urging the older woman in the direction of the percolating coffee pot in the corner of the counter.

Iris allowed herself to be directed to the back of the work area. The physical contact, although it was brief, felt comforting. "Caroline, I… I need to tell you something, but… But, I don't want you to h-hate m-me," she cried, unable to finish her statement.

"Oh… Um," Caroline remarked, pouring two mugs of coffee. "Is it the wedding flowers? I understand if you can't do them. I mean, it's a huge expense, and I promise that Chet and I will pay for them."

Iris shook her head, cupping the younger woman's face with her hand. Caroline was such a sweet girl; she deserved all the happiness in the world. "No sweetie, it isn't about the flowers. In fact, it isn't even about the shop."

"Whew," Caroline said, blowing out a breath. "Then I'm not fired?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Of course not. I just hope you'll still want to work here when you find out the truth," Iris whimpered, turning her back to Caroline.

"Absolutely, I love it here, Iris. Why are you so upset? What's going on?" Caroline asked worriedly.

Iris' breathing became rapid. Telling the truth was proving to be more difficult than she had thought. She realized that if she told Caroline, then she'd have to tell her story again to Roy and maybe Captain Stanley. She began shaking her head, realizing that she couldn't relive the series of events multiple times, she cleared her throat, turning back around to face Caroline.

"I… I need your h-help, Caroline… Please?"

"Anything, Iris. I'll do anything I can to help you, but you've got to tell me what to do?"

"It's… It's Johnny. He needs… Oh, Caroline," she cried. "Do you think you could… I mean, could you and Chet get the rest of the crew together and… come to my house tomorrow night? I don't think I can do this… but once," she choked out, her voice sounding raspy.

"I'm sure I can. They'll work off shift in the morning. I'll… I'll call Chet at the station and ask him to let the others know. You'll have to give me your address, but… Iris, what's going on with Johnny?"

"I'm afraid I haven't been honest with you about John." Before Iris could continue, the first customer of the day walked in.

"We'll be right with you," Caroline called out, then turned back to Iris. "Are you sure you can work today?" She asked, seeing Iris rubbing her temples.

Iris shook her head. "I – I don't know. Maybe I should… Should go home."

"I can handle the shop today. You just write down directions to your house and what time you want us to be there. I'll take care of the rest, okay?" Caroline suggested, pulling Iris into a sideways hug. "You go get some rest, and we'll see you tomorrow night." She assumed that Iris wanted to tell everyone about the old murder case Johnny had witnessed. Maybe Lieutenant Crockett had gotten more information. She didn't want to alert Iris that she had overheard the conversation. She would go along with the plan, acting surprised when Iris broke the news to the group tomorrow night.

"You're a precious young woman, Caroline. Chet is a lucky man."

E!

Chet backed the squad into a parking place at Rampart, just as he heard Mike Stoker's voice over the radio.

"LA, Engine 51 is 10 – 8 to Rampart to retrieve manpower."

Chet opened the door, stepping out into the morning sunshine. He hurriedly walked into the emergency entrance at Rampart, looking for the paramedics. Seeing neither of them around, he waited in the hallway for his captain.

Hank parked Amy's car in the parking lot behind the hospital. He had insisted on driving her to the hospital, seeing how upset she was about Gretchen's condition. He helped her out of the car, then followed her into the emergency entrance.

"Hey, Cap. I haven't seen DeSoto or Greene, yet."

"Mike's on his way with the engine; keep an eye out for him, will you, Pal?" He asked, then walked with Amy towards the waiting area.

Just as Amy sat down, Hank saw his two paramedics walking out of exam room two, both hanging their heads dejectedly.

"Uh-oh," the seasoned fire captain groaned. He had seen those looks before.

Roy scrubbed his face with his open palm, walking towards the waiting area. He used his forearm to wipe the perspiration off of his forehead. Amy saw the two paramedics walking towards her, and her heart leaped into her throat.

"Ohmygod, no…"

Roy walked over to Amy, kneeling down in front of her in much the same way as he had seen Johnny kneel down to tell Pam that Drew had died.

"Amy… She's alive, but the prognosis isn't good. Dr. Early will be out in a few minutes to talk to you. Do you know who her next of kin may be?"

Amy sniffled, covering her face with her hands as she curled her torso towards her lap, propping her elbows on her knees. She shook her head slowly, running her fingers beneath her eyes before she spoke. "Ah, no… No, she doesn't have anybody…. Nobody but me, I guess."

Roy exchanged a sad look with his captain. "Okay, just hang in there, Amy. Gretchen needs you now."

"Was it dr-drugs?" the waitress asked.

Again, Roy exchanged a worried look with Hank and Kyle, before returning his attention to Amy. "We don't know for sure," he said softly. "It looks like a heroin overdose."

"Heroin? No! Gretchen wouldn't do that!"

"That's just what it looks like; we don't know for sure," Roy added. "Dr. Early is running some tests."

Amy exhaled loudly. "Those damn religious nuts!" She grunted. "What did they do to her? And where are they now, huh? If they're such good friends to her, then why is she alone in there," she said, pointing an angry finger down the corridor, her voice rising, "fighting for her life and they're nowhere to be found! Those are some friends, huh? Friends are supposed to be there for each other. Friends offer their blood, sweat, and tears, for… each… other," she said, propping her arm on the chair and resting her forehead against her fingers. "Friends don't hurt… hurt each… other… They don't… abandon each… other," she said, continuing to weep.

Roy felt her words stab him in his heart, wounding his soul. Had he abandoned Johnny? Was his best friend suffering alone with some unknown crisis? In some unknown location?

"Cap, I… I need to check on-"

"Go see him," Hank responded before the request had even been made. When a run went bad, they all wanted to contact their family, especially when one of their family was sick or injured. Something inside him felt a strong desire to contact the missing member of his work family. 'What's wrong with you, John?' He thought to himself as he sat beside Amy, while she wept. When he saw Dr. Early walking down the corridor, he patted the woman on her shoulder. "Doc's here, Amy."

Amy sniffled, drying her eyes as she sat up. "Thanks, Hank. I'm glad your crew answered the call. I needed you fellas… I know Gretchen appreciates it, too."

Hank gave her a wistful smile, nodding a greeting to Dr. Early as the two men exchanged places. He looked around for his men, seeing Kyle pushing his way through the men's room door and Chet talking on the pay phone.

Chet waited for an answer to his call, pleased when it was Caroline who answered. "Hey, Babe. It's me."

"Chet, are you okay?"

"Yea, I just had to bring the squad in to pick up Roy and Kyle at Rampart. We had a tough run." He didn't want to go into details with her on the phone, preferring to listen to her voice as it soothed his soul. He leaned against the wall, listening intently to what Caroline was telling him. "So, tomorrow night? Yea, I'll talk to the guys when we get back to the station. If it involves Gage, I'm sure they'll all be there."