Evening My Lovelies

Well this chapter was hard to write *sighs* I think I ended up rewriting it about three or four times and I'm still worried about how it comes across.

I'm apologizing in advance if it doesn't live up to your expectations as I know quite a few of you were looking forward to this one.

On a happier note - OVER 600 REVIEWS!

Notes On Reviews:

Deana: Thanks for the review - Even more coming today unfortunately :) Enjoy the new chapter! x

Tidia: Thanks for the review - His words will definitely help D'Art when he actually thinks about it. Enjoy the new chapter! x

pallysdeeks - Thanks for the review - We've got a bit more conflict today but we have a couple of cute moments as well to even things out :) I wasn't going to have Remy come back so soon but I missed him :D His arrival seems to have gone over well so I'm quite happy with that :D Enjoy the new chapter! x

Katie (Guest): Thanks for the review - Yay I'm glad you love him as I love him too! :D He only really got included in that last chapter because I missed him lol. Worry not Athos is making good steps to fix things today. Enjoy the new chapter! x

Debbie (Guest): Thanks for the review - Athos definitely has his work cut out for him but he's making good progress today :) Remy was nice to include again, he's a lot of fun to write and his words will definitely help D'Art when he's clear-headed enough to think them over. Enjoy the new chapter! x

criminally charmed: Thanks for the review - We're getting some brotherly moments between our swordsman and our pup today, which I'm hoping you'll like :) Enjoy the new chapter! x

FierGascon: Thanks for the review - Got a bit more angst today as well as some brotherly moments to even things out. Enjoy the new chapter! x

Ebm36: Thanks for the review - Thank you so much for your lovely words I'm really happy you're enjoying my work so much and don't worry I've already got several other story ideas swimming around in my head for when this story is over :D Enjoy the new chapter! x

Maryg (Guest): Thanks for the review - Bwhaha love your ideas about Remy, although now I can't get that image out of my head lol XD We've got a whole chapter focusing on our lovely D'Art & Athos which I hope you like... Got anything yummy from the bakery? :D Enjoy the new chapter! x

f1gymnast: Thanks for the review - Being told to leave definitely wasn't nice for the medic to experience but D'Arts a bit too preoccupied to even think about it right now. Athos has quite the job ahead of him to get D'Art to believe him and with regards to Remy we can put the lack of security around the garrison down to the fact that the men are still on high alert for Quentin so aren't actually around the garrison much. Hope this conversation lives up to your expectation. Enjoy the new chapter! x

WelshEssex (Guest): Thanks for the review - Hmmm I want to say that todays chapter should be rated 2 tissues but I'm not sure... approach with caution :) Gotta love that Remy ends up helping when he just wanted to be nosy. I really wanted this to be a dramatic, emotional conversation and I'm really really hoping I've managed to do that in today's chapter...Enjoy the new chapter! x

Issai: Thanks for the review - Athos is determined but he definitely has quite the job ahead of him :) Enjoy the new chapter! x

Lilac Lavender: Thanks for the review - Hmm I was at work when the 600th review came in so the happy dance was an internal one but it definitely happened XD Thank you so much for continuing to support this story, it means a lot :D I loved that "Oh" moment though I did feel bad kicking Aramis out of the room... but then again it needed to happen so Athos could have his conversation. D'Art's dealing with a lot of internal conflict right now as we'll see hints of today. It's going to take some time until he's okay again. Hmmm maybe Aramis can keep his title as Princess and we can give D'Art the title of Queen lol :) I'm really hoping the conversation today lives up to expectations... I'm a bit nervous about it... but on the plus side we do indeed have a small snuggly moment, just for you :D Enjoy the new chapter! x

MicheeO: Thanks for the review - BWHAHA love that idea and judging by what's happened so far this story he'd do quite well business wise :) Enjoy the new chapter! x

As always much love and many thanks for following/favouriting/reviewing/reading

Love you all!

Enjoy!

xxx

Chapter Forty-Four: Grouchy Vs Stubborn

All of Athos's planning and determination regarding the, no doubt painful, conversation he was about to have fled from him the second he opened the door to his little brother's infirmary room.

For once the door had opened silently so D'Artagnan had yet to notice he was no longer the only occupant in the room and as such he made no effort in hiding the devastating grief and pain plastered across his features, nor the tears flooding down his cheeks as his chest heaved with sobs that only seemed to be causing he even more pain.

Athos felt his blood turn to ice and a wave of guilt hit him so hard he almost crumbled. He knew, from Aramis's words, that D'Artagnan had not been in the best state since the medic had left, the situation made worse by the boy's admission that he had overheard Athos's panic-driven comments.

He was pulled sharply from these guilt-driven thoughts when a strangled cough escaped from D'Artagnan's throat, instantly grabbing the swordsman's attention as he noticed that, in his current state, D'Artagnan was having a worrying amount of trouble breathing.

Eyes wide with panic Athos rushed to the younger man's side, working quickly to straighten him from where the Gascon had curled in on himself in his grief and pain.

"A…A-A-Athos?" croaked D'Artagnan, his eyes flush with tears and wide with panic as he struggled to get enough air into his lungs.

"Relax D'Artagnan," ordered the swordsman softly as he ran one of his hands up and down the boy's back. "You're going to pass out if you don't breathe, just relax and copy me."

It took several painful minutes for the sobbing Gascon but eventually he was able to get his breathing to equal out and he almost felt like crying again as the relief from the burning pain in his lungs eased as air returned as normal.

"…T-Thanks," rasped the Gascon, his whole being projecting an aura of unease that saddened the swordsman greatly. The younger man had never been this uncomfortable in his presence, ever, not even when the pair had first met had the tension been as thick as it was now and he was being accused of murder back then!

"It's what brother's are for," stated Athos in a tone that suggested it should have been obvious. D'Artagnan looked up, slightly shocked and surprised by Athos's words but Athos merely ignored the look as he eased himself off of the bed and into the nearest available chair.

"I figured we needed to talk," he added quietly and once he noticed the nervous look on his baby brother's face he forced his expression to soften, not wanting his own nerves to be taken as anger… or worse, hatred.

D'Artagnan offered nothing in response, merely turning his head away in an effort to make his friend see he wanted nothing to do with this conversation.

Noticing this Athos couldn't help but sigh. He had had the joy of dealing with D'Artagnan's stubborn moods on several instances before but something was telling him this was going to be the worse yet.

"Aramis mentioned you overheard my words earlier," stated Athos, consciously forcing his emotionless mask to remain off of his face, not wanting to send his brother mixed messages. "I fear you may have misinterpreted them."

"He almost killed you!" hissed D'Artagnan, mimicking both Athos's words and the emotion behind them as he stared sadly at his eldest brother who had flinched guiltily at the impersonation.

"…Don't think… there was much to misinterpret there," sighed D'Artagnan, all his momentary fight leaving him as he squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears building up behind them not to fall.

"D'Artagnan," sighed Athos, internally punching himself for losing himself so deeply in his anger before and not having thought of the consequences. Head over heart, that was something he had relentless drilled into his protégé's head and there he was ignoring his own lesson.

"I was angry," admitted the swordsman, noting how his brother tensed at his confession despite refusing to look at him once again. "I still am if I'm being honest." D'Artagnan flinched at this but Athos continued regardless. "But anger doesn't equal hate."

Now this got D'Artagnan to look at him and knowing better than to waste a perfect opportunity like the one he currently had Athos started speaking again.

"…Do… Do you remember when I told you about Thomas? … About what happened to him?"

D'Artagnan frowned; thoroughly confused as to what this had to do with what they were talking about, but regardless he nodded anyway, remembering that painful conversation all too well.

That day was the first time D'Artagnan had ever seen the proud man he idolized show any sort of pure vulnerability. He had seen worry, concern and even panic on the man's face before but never vulnerability of that magnitude and it had both saddened and warmed his heart to know the cause and that he was trusted enough to know the truth, despite being sworn to secrecy regarding it mere hours later.

Despite opening up about his brother almost a year ago and the murder itself happening almost half a decade ago D'Artagnan knew the mere mention of Thomas's name was enough to send his mentor into a downward spiral and the memory was enough that, providing they had the time, the man could sink into a bottle and not return for days unless his brothers forced him to, something that was not a pleasant task for any involved.

Thomas was not something Athos ever brought up willingly so the fact he was doing so now had the younger musketeer's curiosity peaked, despite his intentions to ignore the man and push him away.

"When we entered the room and saw Aramis bleeding out on the floor it brought the memory of that day right to the forefront of my mind and I'm afraid you suffered as a result of my inability to handle it," explained the swordsman gently as he hesitantly took D'Artagnan's hand in his own. He could feel, just from their hands, how tense the younger man was and he hoped he could do or say something to help him relax, he wasn't doing his body any favours by pushing it so hard and keeping it so rigorously tense.

Meanwhile D'Artagnan's mind was going into overdrive at the same time his heart shattered. He had never thought how the incident, particularly finding the man after he had fled, would have impacted his brothers.

If anything Athos's attempts to explain the motivations behind his words were only making his guilt hit him that much harder… not only had he physically hurt one brother but he had forced the brother he cherished above all to relieve his worst memory… If there was any doubt in his mind before it was rapidly fading now… he definitely didn't deserve any sort of brotherhood or forgiveness from these men, not after all he had put them through.

Athos watched with concern plastered on his features as D'Artagnan's expression went from confusion, to horror, to guilt and finally to resigned sadness. He had no idea what was going through his brother's mind at that moment but he knew he had to say something before whatever it was had a chance to fester.

"D'Artagnan," he called, frowning when his call received no response. With one hand he cupped the boy's face, softly drawing circles on the younger man's cheeks with his thumb, hoping the warmth and contact would be enough to shock the Gascon out of whatever haze he was lost in. Only for his frown to deepen when the boy violently flinched away from his touch, so much so it had the younger man groaning in pain as the movement pulled his stitches.

"What I said to Aramis," stated Athos, deciding to ignore his protégé's reaction for now, hoping that it would resolve itself once he had finished being honest with the boy. "And inadvertently you it seemed, stemmed largely from the recurrence of that memory. I spoke without thinking and as such did not anticipate the hurt it would cause either of you. I have explained this to Aramis but you needed to hear it from me."

D'Artagnan was now glancing at his brother in confusion, remaining silent as he tried desperately not to let the naïve flicker of hope he had within him continue to grow.

"Aramis explained that you seem to be under the impression that I hate you for what occurred," once again D'Artagnan flinched and this time Athos could see the pure unadulterated guilt that was threatening to crush him and he found himself wonder how he had not seen this right from the beginning and why he had allowed himself to be overwhelmed with past memories of people no longer there instead of focusing on the brothers he could help.

Knowing what he was about to say was extremely important Athos used both of his hands to cup his protégé's face and gently lift it so he was looking him in the eye.

"Under no circumstance do I hate you," stated the swordsman with such seriousness D'Artagnan felt his resolve fracturing. "I spoke out of turn and reacted in a way unworthy of the loyalty and love you have always willing and freely given and because of this I ask that you find it in yourself to forgive me."

D'Artagnan blinked, his eyes once again turning glassy as he fought off a fresh wave of tears. "…I nearly killed him Athos," whispered D'Artagnan, his voice so broken it almost hurt to listen to. "… How could you even think of asking me for forgiveness when everything is my fault… I don't belong here."

The last part of his speech was said so quietly that had Athos not been sitting so close he was sure he wouldn't have heard it, though when he did he felt his heart almost stop.

"Enough!" growled the swordsman, startling the Gascon from his morose thoughts. Furious with his brother for even suggesting such a thing Athos moved so he was sitting in front of him on the bed, his hands returning to cup the younger man's face, though with significantly more force than before.

"IT'S TRUE!" exclaimed D'Artagnan, tears once again falling down his cheek as he shrugged off Athos's hands while the swordsman was sat in front of him, shocked into silence at the younger musketeer's outburst.

"ALL I'VE DONE SINCE COMING TO PARIS IS MESS EVERYTHING UP!" cried the Gascon, his vision blurring, either from the tears of the pain he wasn't completely sure but now the damn had broken and he couldn't stop the words from flying out, no matter how much he may have wanted to.

"We wouldn't even be in this situation if I could see through the simple trap my uncle set. Then neither you or Aramis would be injured, Treville wouldn't be stressed beyond belief nor the rest of the regiment wouldn't be running themselves into the ground while running double and triple patrols. Aramis wouldn't have almost bled out and you – "

D'Artagnan was unable to speak anymore as a crushing wave of guilt washed over him and had him choking up and sobbing hysterically once again.

"I said enough!" snapped Athos as he tightened his grip on his youngest brother, tears of his own building up in his eyes as he listened to the heart-wrenching pain in his brother's voice.

When D'Artagnan had calmed enough that he was not at risk of having another anxiety attack like he had when Athos initially entered the room the swordsman continued.

"None of what happened is your fault, do you hear me? Regardless of your actions Quentin would still be around, targeting innocent villages and people like Lupiac and we would be none the wiser. Treville's stress would be same as, again, regardless of your actions he would still be dealing with a grieving King."

D'Artagnan's face scrunched up in confusion at that last bit, not having been told about the Cardinal's death. Athos paid it not mind and continued arguing against D'Artagnan's statements, though as he did he forced his expression to soften, hoping that if he let his brother see just how much he truly meant to him then he would understand and accept what was being said to him.

"And as for our injuries," he said softly, his eyes fond despite the downward tug of his lips as D'Artagnan once again winced at his words.

"You seem to forget brother, that you are by far the worst off and have the longest road to recovery ahead of you. Aramis and myself earned our wounds in the attempt of protective a brother, someone we deeply and truly care about. Family is all we, as musketeers, ever truly have in this world D'Artagnan and we will wear any wounds or scars earned in the protection of said family with pride and honor. From all accounts you earned yours the same way, how does that make you any less of a musketeer than us? You fought harder than anyone this regiment has seen in a long while to become one of us. You earned your place among us D'Artagnan and no fever-induced accident will ever change that."

Seeing the honesty in his brother's eyes made the hope inside of D'Artagnan flare to life but it also had the nasty side effect of being the thing that finally pushed the Gascon's exhausted and injured body and mind too far and within moments the younger man had collapsed, his head lightly hitting Athos's shoulder as he slumped forward.

After a brief panic about his brother's sudden collapse Athos determined him to be all right, if completely drained both physically and mentally. Deciding that here was little point trying to wake the man up to continue the conversation given his current condition, the musketeer instead moved to help him lay back on the bed, only to be thwarted by the surprisingly strong grip the Gascon had on his shirt.

Smiling fondly at his youngest brother Athos worked quickly and gently to arrange the both of them side by side on the bed before wrapping the trembling Gascon into a tight, protective embrace and letting the excitement of the day finally hit him as his eyes fluttered closed and he joined his brother in sleep.