They were finally on their way, and Roland was already fast asleep in the car seat as they were driving out of New York. She was not looking forward to the 7 or 8 hours long drive back to Storybrooke, but they had all agreed that the current seating arrangement was the most practical. Not under any circumstance would Regina want to find herself trapped in a car with her sister, and she was equally set on keeping Robin away from her. Roland needed to be close to his father, and the dragon would be best off accompanying the Saviour. Thus, she had rented a mini van and was now more or less comfortably seated behind the wheel tailing the yellow bug.

Her biggest concern was, apart from sitting in a car with Robin, her rather unpredictable body. She was still in need of quite frequent toilet visits, she might suffer from those blasted nausea/vomiting spells, and she wasn't sure just how tired she was. The first and the last on that list were most likely to happen. Unless they came across something particularly vile she was quite sure her stomach would not betray her. The total lack of caffeine to fight off the tiredness, on the other hand, might prove a problem. Long, arduous nights were usually accompanied by vast amounts of coffee, or these days, a quick brushing of her teeth and straight to bed. She had gone cold turkey on caffeine as soon as she suspected a pregnancy, and all of a sudden that felt sort of like a poor choice. At least if she didn't think about the negative consequences of the poison.

They had scheduled two stops for food and rest, because there were only two drivers for the two cars, and no matter how set Regina was on getting home as fast as possible, they needed to be sort of rested so as not to be a traffic hazard.

She was deep in her own thoughts when Robin cleared his throat, and she could feel her rage flair up at the sound alone.

"Regina"

"Don't!"
Shut up. Can't you understand I don't want to speak to you right now? If only she could make up her mind about what she really wanted, other than turn back time and destroy her sister before she could mess up this whole relationship that for once in her life might actually be a healthy one.

"But…"
She didn't want to look at him, didn't want to listen to him. And she certainly didn't want to be in this car with him.

"I need to concentrate on the driving, not your grovelling. Shush."
I can't take this. Not now. I really need to concentrate, I don't want to cry, but I'm really not capable of keeping this charade going for much longer if you're constantly talking to me!

"I'm not grovelling."
If you're not, then you should really shut it. You need to grovel. At least show me part of that man I thought you were. I need you to understand what you are doing to me! She clenched her jaws, and she could feel the muscles twitch and bulge. They would betray her if he cast a glance her way, but she hoped the thief was too preoccupied in his own little bubble to notice.

"Shut up, or I'll put you in the back seat of the bug with your pregnant wife. I'm still not sure I want to spend the next eight hours sitting next to you, and you setting me off is not helping your cause. And I'm not too fond of this urge to scream in front of Roland, whether he's asleep or not."
She kept her eyes on the road, and her knuckles whitened as she held a firm grip on the wheel. All her instincts told her to do something magnificent and then leave the premises with a gust of superiority. But she couldn't. She needed to get them home, and she didn't have the power to even light a candle before she crossed the town line.

"You know I love you!"

His voice was thin and apologetic, but it was like somebody had set off a red fire cracker behind her eyes, and without further ado, her mouth ran off with her.

"No, I don't! I honestly don't know how you think, how you feel or how you reason! You talk about your honour and how bloody difficult and confusing everything is for you. I get it, I really do, but you need to choose. You have the audacity to yell at me and tell me that you are with Marian now. That is, according to you, the current situation. And now you suddenly want me to believe you love me and want to be with me! You are nothing but a confused puppy running from one home to another, or better yet, a stray dog shagging anything that comes along. How do you think that looks in the light of honour? Maybe this is nothing much for a common thief, but it certainly doesn't look too good for either a queen or a mayor to be one of the bitches. I don't know what you're thinking about me, but I most certainly ain't your bitch!"

The words came running out of her like a constant stream of hot lava, and as the road opened up ahead, she put the pedal to the metal and accelerated just to make a point of her statement.

God, she needed to rein herself in. If she kept talking she would spill everything! She could hear the uncertainty and desperation lace every word, but she was incapable of doing anything about it. He had indeed made her shout in front of Roland, but luckily the boy was a heavy sleeper, and she did turn down the volume before it reached ultimate peeks.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. No matter what I say or do, you won't accept an apology or be happy about what I say."
He sounded like she had given him a proper round with the cane, but she was still fuming and couldn't care less.

"Just shut up! I don't want to talk to you, and if you say another word, I'm calling up Emma to transfer you to the yellow tin. Your boy stays with me in any case. It's safer and more spacious in the van, and he's not a pain in the ass."

At that he shut his stupid, yet beautiful she reluctantly thought, face, and started to leaf through a road atlas instead.

She cast a sideways glance at him and breathed deeply in and out as quietly as she possibly could. This would not be an easy ride. She turned on the radio, and they drove on in silence.

They had been driving like that for nearly two hours when Roland woke up and started to whimper incoherently. Regina immediately turned off the radio and checked him in the rear view mirror, and Robin turned around and tried to comfort him back to sleep, but that seemed futile. Among the whimpers Regina could distinguish the word tummy and all of a sudden she went into full alert mode.

Oh God, not in the car. It's a rental! We need to stop immediately!

Roland had really woken up, and she pulled over as fast as she could. She stopped the car, got out, unbuckled Roland with ease and got him out, before hurrying him to the right side of the car. There she positioned him between her knees and supported his forehead and chest just in time for him to throw up.

Robin had gotten himself tangled up in the seatbelt and wasn't out of the car until Regina had the whole thing under control. He walked up to them as Roland clung to her neck and sobbed and asked for his papa.

Robin took over the crying boy, and Regina was left to think more about herself again, and that spurred a quite severe nausea. She removed herself from the vomit and kept her breathing steady, thinking happy thoughts again. Oh, she would kill for some sweet mints and a bottle of 7Up right now!

She went back to the car to get wet wipes and a bottle of water for Roland. Unfortunately, they hadn't got anything else to relieve him from the foul taste. She should have thought of this being a possibility! Henry had a certain period in his childhood where he was starting to get sick after just five minutes in the car. Thank God that was just a short phase. But they still had six hours to get home, and she was not keen on a rerun. She handed Robin the bottle and the wet wipes and left him to clean up the boy. How far could they be from a gas station? They definitely needed to stock up on snacks and drinks if this was the way the night was going to continue. She needed to call up Emma just to keep them together.

"Emma? We've had a little mishap. Roland got sick, and we need to get to the nearest gas station or anything that might provide snacks and soda. And preferably something against motion sickness."

She leaned against the front of the car and watched the heart warming scene of a father consoling his crying child. He wiped Roland's hands and mouth, and got him to gurgle and rinse before drinking a few sips of the bottle. Then they went for a little stroll along the road to look at the flowers. She sighed and returned her focus to Emma on the phone.

"We passed a gas station some ten minutes ago. I'll find somewhere to turn around, and we'll meet you there."

Finally something was going the right way tonight. After a bump in the road, of course. Nothing could ever be smooth sailing. Not when she was around. But after all, a sick child was the least of her problems.

When Roland had calmed down and was sure he didn't feel sick any more, they got back in the car and drove on. She was driving extremely carefully and didn't risk any sudden moves or clumsily executed curves. Luckily, the gas station was just a mile down the road, and without further trouble, she parked and let out Roland. He ran straight to the benches outside and started to climb them, and Robin followed to keep an eye him. Regina went back to the front seat and shouted;

"I'm just sitting in the car, trying to get a nap before the others come."
He nodded and waved at her before turning his attention back to Roland.

Finally! She sat down in the seat and reclined it. God, it felt good to lay down for a bit.

She must have gone out like a light, because she couldn't remember anything but laying down when she was abruptly woken from her blissful slumber by an incessant rapping on the window. Her head was swimming slightly, and she blinked a couple of times before she was able to focus on the face of the saviour. She sat up and opened the door.

"Regina!" Emma was clearly not in a good mood.

"What did you do to the poor man?"

"What did I do? I haven't done anything to him! I tracked him down to save him from my sister is what I did!" She was utterly confused and frankly quite affronted.

"Well, you must have done something else later on, because he is actually sitting on a bench crying. So, what did you do?"

Her insides turned to a cold, mushy matter and almost screamed the first thought that came to mind as she stood up and stared at the Saviour.

"Where is Roland?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Where is Roland, Miss Swan?! Answer or I will turn you into a tadpole!"
She was really screaming now. That stupid woman!

"Keep your shirt on, Regina! He's eating ice cream with Lily."

Ice cream? That was a disaster waiting to happen in the up-chuck-department if there ever was one. And Emma just stood there like a moron as if everything she just said was the most natural thing in the world.

"You're telling me to calm down? You have left a five-year old with a dragon in human form equipped with all your potential darkness in addition to her own, and you tell me to calm down?"

She ran her hands through her hair and shook her head in disbelief and frustration.

"We've been driving from Storybrooke to New York and are on the same route back, I've got some of the worst news I could possibly receive at the present time, I'm tired, I desperately need a pee, and my emotions are running the whole spectrum and back again. And I've got vomit on my sleeve. Not my own, mind you."

She paused to draw breath and continued in a calmer voice, her hands straightening her dress before she let one arm hang limp and useless by her side and the other one carefully resting on her stomach, suddenly debating whether or not to remove it so it didn't cause any speculations. Oh well, she knows anyway. And to anybody else, it's not as if this is not a common pose for me.

"Do you know if they sell anything for motion sickness at the gas station? I would rather not have this happening again. Robin got all flustered and tangled up in the seat belt and I did what I always do with a sick child, but I don't know if I can knock back my own retching a second time. You know, I'm not really sick, it just gets triggered very easily. And back to Roland; How long has Robin let him out of his sight?"

Emma looked kind of sympathetic, but rolled her eyes non the less.
"He was looking after him until we came some ten minutes ago. He left him in my care and went to the toilet."

Regina huffed and turned around before striding over to the table where Roland and Lily were happily and grumpily sitting together. Emma followed and sat down beside Roland.

"Robin is just around the corner. Go talk to him."

Regina sighed.

"Can you take Roland with you and buy him a bottle of 7Up and see if they have motion sickness medication."

"Anything else you need?"

"No, I'll go in myself afterwards. I have a little list of essentials, but I think it's better if I get them myself. We'll get Robin to give him the medication afterwards."

As she rounded the corner, she found him sitting on a bench with his heels on the seat and his face buried in his arms.

"Robin?" She carefully moved up and sat down beside him on the bench. He didn't answer, but kept sitting in the same position she had found him. It was something so incredibly vulnerable about him that she was quite unsure how to approach him. Her basic instinct was to scoop him up in her lap and whisper nonsense of comfort in his ear like she always did with Henry, but this was a grown man; A grown man she had yelled at and sort of told she never wanted to touch, or let touch her, again. Her heart clenched for the umpteenth time that day, and she briefly wondered if that was the default mode of her heart now. Clench, cry, scream.

Without another word she sat down beside him, but she kept a safe distance between them to avoid any accidental graces.

Oh boy! He's really crying. I don't know how to handle grown men crying! Hell, I don't think I've ever seen a grown man crying unless he's hurt in battle!

Would he accept comfort from her? She hadn't got a clue but followed her instinct and leaned into him, put her head on his shoulder and whispered softly: "I'm so sorry!"

That actually pulled a loud sob from him. He raised his head from the shelter of his arms, and showed his tear-streaked face, complete with red-rimmed eyes and snot glistening on his upper lip, ans she could feel herself choking up immediately.

"I can't do this, Regina. I don't know what to do. And I can't do it without you. And I can't make it up to you. I don't know what to do! You have nothing be sorry about!" He was rambling, and choked on a hiccough. "I'm so sorry! I don't deserve to be anywhere near you!"

At that she put her arm around him and pulled him closer, and as awkward as scooping up a man considerably larger than herself was, she still managed the feat in a way. His crying made her entire fortification crumble, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would not be able to face the coming events alone. She couldn't keep her tears at bay, and they became this tangled ball of tears, hugs and comfort.

She managed to croak; "I can't do it without you either. But I don't know how to do it with you."

In the end, they just sat there, clinging to each other in a mess of tears, pity, self-pity, loathing, self-loathing and an intense fear of the quite messy future. The only positive about this was that they were in fact touching in one of the most intimate ways they ever had, and yet it felt as natural as breathing. The irony. Everything would have been so much simpler if she just loved and craved him unconditionally, or detested him. But of course, that was not the case. In fact, she was quite sure she loved and craved him unconditionally, but the whole thing had turned ugly. Very ugly, and she wasn't sure what would make things right again.

When they finally separated and straightened up, they just sat and looked at each other, drying their tears.

"Let's go to the toilet to freshen up again" she suggested. He just nodded, and they got up together and headed for the toilet.

It smelled of urine and toilet fresher in just equal disgusting amounts. She fought back a gag and did her best to keep as far from surfaces as possible. Her face staring back at her from the mirror was just as god awful as suspected, but there was some strange comfort in seeing Robin's face just behind her. She could easily picture him resting his chin on her shoulder while his hands were caressing her stomach.

Pull yourself together, Regina. No time for dreams now.

She closed her eyes for a fraction of a second longer than a blink and erased the happy dream as she turned on the tap. Water running, washing away grime and tears and mucus. If only all filth could be eliminated by running water! She took extra care to wash her sleeve with a healthy dash of soap. No more vomit tonight, and this time I mean it!

He finished washing his face and went out, and she stayed to go to the toilet. She carefully covered the seat with paper and sat down, hitching her dress all the way up so that she could see her stomach and touch it.

"God, Spud. This is a disaster" she whispered. "I really don't know how to handle this." She traced her abdomen with her right hand. It would soon be visible. Very soon. "I can't really see that you have taken residence down here, but I'm really looking forward to seeing more of you." Oh, if she only could sit in here and just be semi-alone. Or if Robin... No, she couldn't think like that. She finished the toilet visit, got up, washed her hands and checked her make-up again before straightening her dress and walking out.

They hadn't said a word after they stopped crying, but she had the distinct feeling that something had been resolved without words somewhere during those last ten minutes. At least she hoped they would have a peaceful trip until their scheduled stop.

Emma had indeed got soda and medication for Roland and Robin made him take it without any fuss. Regina got to stock up on sweet and savoury snacks, as well as enough 7Up to last a month.

According to Emma, the trip had been nice and quiet in the bug so far, but she had caught up on a slightly uncomfortable sweat and swallow in the back seat, and had to do a bit of repairing on the red head. If it was up to Regina, they would have stuffed her full of the medication Roland was getting, but that was not healthy for pregnant people, apparently. She scoffed and went back to the van.

She could choke on her vomit for all I care!