A/N: Hey guys. It's still raining (such a surprise) so I'm just going to hang about in my pjs all day and write fanfic. Enjoy. -Scottie

Baking:

Summary: It's Winry's birthday and Alphonse has asked ever so nicely that Edward bakes a cake for her. Roy decides to help. How could it possibly go wrong?

Rated T for language.

"Roy, were the hell is the fucking flour?" Edward yelled from the kitchen. Roy sighed and got up from his lounge chair in the living room and placed his book and glasses on the coffee table next to it. As he walked to his kitchen, he saw Edward in a red apron, surrounded by a mountain of ingredients. The colonel massaged his temples at the mess. There was no way in hell he was going to clean it up. It was Edward's job.

"What are you doing?" He asked, smiling dangerously as Edward spilt some sugar onto the floor. Edward shrugged, ignoring the mess he had just made.

"Making Winry a birthday cake. Al said I had to since I don't know what to get her as a present. If I don't do it, he will tell Winry about our relationship," He replied, cracking an egg into the bowl, not noticing the eggshell that went with it. Edward shivered as he thought about Winry's reaction. "It would either go really well and she would be really happy and understanding, or she would flip the fuck out and cut off my balls." Edward cringed.

"No, no. You're doing it all wrong. The eggshell went in! Let me do it." Roy shook his head as he opened a cupboard and pulled out a white apron, quickly putting it on, taking his gloves off and walking over to Edward. He picked up the glass bowl that had the egg in it and threw it in the bin, much to Edward's horror.

"What the fuck? I was doing just fine! Stop mothering me." He huffed as he crossed his arms and pouted. Roy shook his head and brought the glass bowl back to their working station and cracking 3 eggs into it with only one hand. Edward stared in awe making Roy chuckle.

"Preheat the oven at 180ºC for me, will you?," He asked. His boyfriend nodded as he walked over to the oven and started fiddling with the knobs. Edward huffed in triumph and grinned to himself as he heard the slight hum of the oven signalising it was on. "Don't look so proud of yourself, you just turned an oven on." Roy sneered. Edward spouted a string of curses at his superior and resisted the urge to knee him in the leg.

During the time that Ed had turned on the oven, Roy had already beaten the eggs, caster sugar, butter and baking powder into the bowl. The mixture was now really smooth and fluffy.

"Wow that was fast."

"Just like you in bed, huh?," Roy grinned as he moved the whisk through the mixture. This time, Ed did knee him but with his automail leg so it hurt more. Roy cursed and stumbled, almost dropping the glass bowl on the floor. "Watch it, you little shrimp." He growled.

"Who ya' callin' a shrimp, you shitty faced colonel?!" He yelled, stomping his foot on the ground, gritting his teeth.

"You asked for it~," He sang teasingly. Edward huffed, throwing off his apron as he stormed over to the kitchen table, sitting down and sulking, refusing to help anymore. Roy didn't complain, it meant that the cake would be perfect he thought to himself as he skipped around the kitchen, humming to himself as he added the ingredients together.

~Time Skip~

Roy had finished preparing the cake and he had just popped it into the oven when the phone rang He untied the apron, throwing it on one of the chairs, ruffling Ed's hair as he walked past to pick up the phone. "Hello? Oh, Alphonse! Yes, the cake is going great. It's just in the oven," Edward looked towards Roy on the phone, he bad mood suddenly vanished. "Of course, he's right here. I'll give the phone to him. No, don't worry, I enjoy cooking," Roy chuckled. Ed snickered, Roy was really such a charmer. "Have a lovely day, Alphonse, goodbye."

Roy walked over to his subordinate and handed him the phone, kissing his cheek as he did so, making Ed blush and scowl. He put the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Brother! How's the cake going? Why was Roy the one baking? I thought I told you to cook it, didn't I?" Alphonse asked. Edward sighed.

"Bloody hell, one question at a time!," Ed huffed "I was cooking the cake until Roy said I did it wrong so he took over."

"Why didn't you help him?"

"Well…ah-erm. He said I was being a nuisance."

"Did not! He's lying. He just ran off sulking. " Called Roy from the other side of the kitchen. Ed covered the speaker with his hand and turned to his boyfriend.

"Did too- shut up-!" he grumbled as he placed the phone next to his ear again. Alphonse chuckled.

"You two are like an old married couple," He could hear him smiling through the telephone. Edward was about to interject but Alphonse cut him off. "How long will it take until it's finished? It needs to be ready in a couple of hours."

"Yeah, it should be ready soon. Hey, what are you getting Winry as a birthday present?" He said, curiously.

"Oh, you know. Just the silver and crystal necklace and earring set she wanted."

"Whoa, it's that like really expensive? You must love her a lot huh. So, when are you going to propo-"

"Shit…," Ed turned his head sharply over to look at Roy with wide eyes. In his oven mittens was something black in a tin which was smoking that slightly resembled a cake. Roy gulped. "Edward, prepare to get your balls cut off…"

All Alphonse heard through the receiver was;

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BURN THAT SHIT? YOU'RE SO DEAD! JUST YOU WAIT, YOU-beep beep" The call ended and Alphonse let out a laugh so loud that Winry came into the room and asked what was so funny.

"Winry, sit down. I have something to tell you." He said through gasps. Winry sat on his lap and he leaned into her ear, whispering something into it. After a few soundless seconds, she turned to her boyfriend, with a stunned look on her face.

"WHAT?"

~Le End~