So sorry I haven't been able to get on this, guys. I'm doing the best I can with all my school work and clubs and things. I know you guys have been really anxious for this, so here's the next chapter. Probably only one or two more chapters to go! Enjoy!

Ch. 5-Dead Inside

Pfft. You're an idiot. If I died tomorrow, I hope you'd lock yourself in the dojo and meditate for three days straight.

It was a morbid statement, as occasionally escaped Raphael. It had made Leonardo so uncomfortable he had not answered. Now, it echoed in his mind.

Raph…

Lock yourself in the dojo and meditate three days straight…

Leo screwed his eyes shut, clenched his fists, and took a deep breath. Slowly, he looked up. "I'm sorry, brother. I have to do this."

He continued down the sewer tunnels, slowing a little. Glancing down at his reflection in the sewer water, he started. It was Raphael's face: stern and disapproving. He sighed.

"I know, you're mad at me, but I can't let Father sacrifice himself for us. I won't lose any more of my little brothers."

He could practically hear his brother's reply:

Getting yourself killed won't help anyone.

"I have to do something."

Comfort our brothers. Support them. They need you—

"You were always better at that than I was."

Liar.

"He killed you. He took you from us."

The imaginary image of Raphael's eyes narrowed.

There's nothing you can do about that now.

"He deserves to die."

Not your call.

"He fractured my family!" Leo shouted, the echo traveling down the tunnels.

And? Still not your call. You're better than this.

"Better than what? You?"

Yes! Stop acting like me and think about you!

"He killed you!"

Think about our brothers!

Leonardo kicked the water and dispelled the image, his heart breaking inside. He shook it off, told himself it was all his imagination. Still, as he stalked through the sewers, he muttered, "I am."

Slash and the Mighty Mutanimals burst into the turtle lair sans preamble. They looked around. The turtles were nowhere to be seen. Slash's pulse quickened. If they weren't here then where…

"Slash," a deep, mature voice greeted.

They whirled around to face Master Splinter. Slash nodded respectfully to the old rat.

"Where are my sons?"

Concern twisted Slash's face. "I was hoping you would know."

Splinter's tail flicked and his ears twitched. The action made Slash squirm. Obviously, the ninja master was concerned. Where could the turtles have gone? Why wouldn't they tell Splinter?

There were plenty of possible outcomes, and the most probable of them sent a frost breath down Slash's carapace.

Straightening powerfully, Splinter stroked his beard. "I should have gone sooner. I feared something like this would occur."

"Gone sooner? What do you mean, Master Splinter?" Slash asked kneeling in front of Raphael's Sensei, trying to think of the best way to tell him that his son might not be dead.

"Raphael's death proved to me that Shredder will stop at nothing. I fear the only way to save my sons is to—"

He didn't get any further, for two turtle-teenagers stumbled in the door, coughing and breathing heavily. Leatherhead and Rockwell rushed to their aid and seated them gently on the couch.

"My sons!" Splinter exclaimed, reaching for them tenderly. He brushed his paw over Donatello's shoulder. Confident that the purple-masked turtle was alright, he dashed over to his youngest. He rubbed Michelangelo's head, affectionately and sighed in relief. Satisfied they were both whole, his face stiffened and his tail swished side to side a few times, uneasily. His voice sounded ghostly as he murmured, "Where is Leonardo?"

At the sound of their older brother's name, both younger turtles' heads shot up, eyes panicked and tearful.

"He's going after Shredder, Sensei." Donatello gasped.

Dread shook the entirety of Splinter's tired frame. Ice crept into Slash's joints. The old wounds of regret bled anew, torn open by this latest development. Leonardo…gone. Slash grimaced. He'd thought Leo was smarter than that. Of all the brothers, it was not Leo whom he'd expected to go after Shredder without concern of the consequences. Leo was too uptight, too grounded in the family welfare.

But hadn't Raph said Leo did stupid things sometimes? Blinded by honor and responsibility. Yep. That sounded like Leonardo. Dammit. He should have seen this coming. If only he'd thought of it sooner. He was too caught up in his damn cloud of self-deprecation that he—

"My friend, we need a plan." Leatherhead growled.

They were all looking at him, now. Of course. With their leader running AWOL…

Slash looked at the turtles, who were still breathing rather heavily and seemed groggy. He turned to Rockwell, pointedly. The psychic monkey mutant understood the context of the glance.

"They're in no condition to fight. Whatever they've breathed in, it's going to affect them for the next half hour or so."

He weighed his options and chose one, easily. He looked at Splinter. "Keep them here and out of danger. We'll go after Leonardo. Besides, we have some—" he tried to think of a way to say it that would make them understand. There was a chance, but only a slim chance. He couldn't give them false hope. Not after all they'd been through. He bit his tongue and swallowed tightly. "—business to attend to there ourselves." The next thing he knew, he was letting out a little white lie, "The data on the poison Shredder created must be destroyed."

Ears falling back against his head, Splinter nodded. He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. When he opened them again, Slash was stunned to see some moisture at the corners.

"Please. Bring him back alive."

Slash nodded grave assent and signaled the Mutanimals to move out. They left. Slash looked back over his shoulder and said, "I failed Raphael. I won't fail again."

A gentle paw on his carapace made him still.

"My son never blamed you for the things you did, Slash. He would not blame you now."

"Maybe not. But I owe him this much."

When they reached the sewers near Shredder's lair, Slash gathered the Mutanimals together.

"Leatherhead, Rockwell, head for Stickmen's laboratories."

They looked at him quizzically. "What about you?"

"I'm going to stop Leonardo before he does something stupid."

They nodded and raced off. He considered his entrance. Personally, he would head for the rooftops, go in from above, but Leo wouldn't consider that option. It was risky. Not the type of approach to take for someone who didn't want to be easily noticed. They'd done it before and would no doubt do it again, but Leo would want to take old Shred-head completely off guard this time.

Catching Shredder's henchmen off guard wasn't easy.

He'd been in and out of this place enough to know that much. Leo would go for an indirect entrance. Ducking into a shadowy alleyway, Slash climbed a fire escape and hopped on a nearby building. Silently he crept around the building. His sharp eyes scraped every corner and shadowy landing of the old church. Finally, he found it: a small window on the west side, close to the throne room, but not a direct inlet. That had to be the way Leonardo had gone. The window had been cut open, just large enough for a turtle to squeeze through. Of course.

Slash rolled his eyes. He couldn't fit through that window. He'd have to find another way in and cut the turtle off, if at all possible.

Leonardo's katana glinted in the dim light as he crouched in the rafters. The ground below was clear. The room was empty. His sense on full alert, Leo jumped to the floor. His famous self control and composure had completely gone. His eyes were white with fury. His shoulders pitched forward with rage. He wanted to sink his blades into something. He wanted to inflict pain.

He peered soullessly down the shadowy hall. One hundred meters between him and Raphael's murderer.

Suddenly, as he inched down that foreboding, grey tunnel, Leo was struck by an unexpected bout of fear. What if he didn't succeed? What if Shredder knew he'd come alone? He'd left Mikey and Don in the sewers, unprotected. He imagined the looks of terror and despair on his little brothers faces should he share the same fate as Raphael. He saw Raph's face. Weary and disappointed.

And nothing mattered anymore.

All the tears, all the anguish, all the anger…it was gone. Shredder didn't deserve to see the pain he'd inflicted upon Leo and his family. He was empty. Completely empty. Nothing else mattered anymore. Raphael was dead and Leo was numb. He was dead inside.

Do it now. While numbness lasts.

With a deep breath, Leonardo drew his shoulders back and lifted his head. The tips of his swords hovered inches off the ground as he practically floated down the hallway.

But just as he was about to cross the threshold of Shredder's throne room, he was startled when a large hand wrapped around his arm and squeezed tightly. He lashed out, his swords accurate as ever.

Leo's blank eyes rose to meet his adversary's and apathy dulled briefly to allow a simple flash of cold anger.

"Let go."

Slash shook his head. "I can't do that."

"I'll hurt you if you don't."

The feral tone made Slash's blood run cold. It wasn't an idle threat.

Slash had spent most of his life living with the turtles. He had seen each and every one of them, at one point or other, fully enraged, particularly Leonardo and Raphael. Leo went into a protective rage more often than some might think just by looking at him, but Slash had never seen Leo like this.

The bigger mutant turtle steeled himself.

"I still can't do it," he said.

Leo's swords lifted.

"The Mutanimals are in Baxton Stankman's lab."

The comment had its desired affect: it made Leonardo stall and lower his swords in confusion.

"Why?"

Slash looked down, briefly, before answering. He looked Leo directly in the eyes. "There's a possibility that Raphael is not dead but in a state of suspended animation."

CLANG! Leo's grip on his katanas had gone slack. He was left dumbstruck for a few moments. He opened his mouth to ask more questions, but Slash scooped up his katanas and yanked him back down the hall, twisting down a few side passages, leading the way out. Leo took the katanas that were thrust at him and sheathed them. A flicker of hope stabbed his aching heart. He let himself be led away by the larger turtle.

If there was even a chance…

Once outside Shredder's lair, he turned on Slash, unwilling to wait in suspense any longer.

"Explain. Now."

"We won't know for certain until—"

Leo shook his head and took an imposing step forward. "No. Details."

"Pete overheard Shredder shouting at Blister Stockboy. Something about Raphael not being dead and suspended animation. Won't know anything more until Rockwell and the others rendezvous and report."

Alarms went off. Commotion could be heard. Slash lifted his mace and Leo whipped out his swords. They looked at each other. They roof-hopped to where they could get a better view. Two giant figures came crashing through a wall into the alley. Slash's eyes narrowed.

Leatherhead and Rahzar. Behind them, Rockwell rushed out, screeching, followed by Pigeon Pete, pursued by Fishface and Tigerclaw.

Leo and Slash jumped to their aid. Leo locked blades with Tigerclaw.

Slash tacked Fishface and gave him a mace to the face. He turned to Rockwell, his eyes flashing inquiringly.

Rockwell nodded assent. "We got everything we came for, though I haven't been able to analyze it."

Nodding, Slash called out to Leo. "They got the data."

With a feral battle cry, Leo back-flipped and took out Rahzar with a solid kick. "Then let's go," he said.

Humming in agreement, Slash turned to lead the way. He didn't see the blow coming until it was too late.

"LOOK OUT!" Leo shouted, shielding the Mighty Mutanimal's backs from Tigerclaw's charge.

Tigerclaw struck his mark.

"AAAAH!" Leo cried. His body fell to the ground like a sack of coal.

Slash looked back over his shoulder as soon as Leo shouted. His eyes widened. Words echoed in his mind:

Bring him home safe.

No! He couldn't let them down again! Couldn't fail the loyalty to his best friend again. He flew at the growling Tiger Mutant in a rage. He pummeled the kitty-cat into the ground, swung back around and scooped up the inert mutant turtle. Someone—Leatherhead or Rockwell, he wasn't sure—threw a smoke bomb down and they vanished.

Determined not to let his friends down again, Slash raced back to the turtle lair as fast as he could hoping with all his heart that they could save Raphael and that Leonardo would be alright.

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