A/N: Again, thanks to Jezebel Jai-Braxlin for beta reading this chapter.

March 9th, 2008

Patrolling these days was always unremarkable. We hadn't had any vampires on our land in ages. The last time we did was when the Denali came to visit the Cullens last year, and we'd been prepared. Jake granted them permission to pass through our land since the treaty no longer held much weight. In a twist of fate that still felt strange to me, we trusted that the Denali were harmless.

Nowadays, patrolling was treated as little more than the monotonous duty of us wolves. I imagined it's what security guards felt like when watching buildings for intruders. The vast majority of the time you did it knowing it was your job, but you didn't expect to find anyone. That didn't mean you could slack off work because, if someone did show up, you had to be ready. So we tried to stay prepared.

I treated patrolling like most people treat jobs they hate: fulfilling my shifts with reluctance. I didn't have as much hatred for being a wolf as I had in the past, but patrolling was still unenjoyable work.

Patrolling with members of Sam's pack had become more boring than patrolling with members of our own pack. It forced me to be alone with my thoughts, and while that would have been ideal in the past, these days I got bored. Now I wanted to be able to talk to whoever I was patrolling with, and it wasn't always possible.

I was gearing myself up for that sort of shift when I showed up at Jared's house to meet up before our assigned patrol. This wouldn't have been necessary if he were in our pack, but it was helpful for these situations.

Kim being there wasn't surprising. In fact, I'd expected it.

She came out of the door before Jared, leaving now that he was. There was an extra glow about her, and it took me several seconds to realize she had a ring on her left hand that I'd never seen.

I wasted no time pointing it out.

"That wasn't there three days ago."

Kim blushed for no reason. It wasn't like this was an unexpected outcome. There were few things we could say for sure about imprinting, but the end result being marriage was the most certain.

For some people, the earliness of it would raise questions about their judgment. Neither of them graduated high school until May. But it was doubtful that any would actually voice their concerns. The imprint bond had a way of showing itself even to people who didn't know about it, and everyone in La Push had noticed that Jared and Kim's relationship was the real deal. I was confident their marriage would be accepted as an "of course" thing even if they eloped tomorrow. (Although that wouldn't be the best thing for Jared's relationship with his future in-laws.)

While Kim was sheepish about the whole thing, Jared smiled cockily.

"I asked her today," he said, walking with Kim down the porch steps to meet me in the front yard.

Kim was wearing a summer dress that was unlike her usual jeans and a t-shirt look. It was easy to assume they'd come back from a date only minutes ago.

"Am I the first to know?"

Jared nodded, a lopsided grin still on his face. "I would have told Sam, but he would have had to tell Emily, and I figured she might make it obvious to Kim."

A smart move. Emily didn't reveal secrets intentionally, but she did get excited and reveal things on accident.

"I'm going to go see Emily now," Kim said. Her blush had faded, and she only had a content smile on her face. "So I figure everyone will know soon enough."

"Nothing stays a secret from the pack for long," I pointed out. Not unless you were trying with all of your might to conceal it.

Kim nodded and went on her way in the direction of Sam and Emily's house. There was a skip to her step that wasn't usual for her, and I thought I was going to have to hit Jared to tear his gaze away from her. I walked passed him toward the forest and tugged on his sleeve as I went to bring him back to what we were supposed to be doing.

"Right," he said, re-focusing himself. "I'll take the north, and you take the south? Meet at the same place as always?"

"Sounds good to me," I said as we made it into the forest to phase.

March 10th, 2008

It took less than twenty-four hours for news of Jared and Kim's engagement to make it through the pack. I thought most of the reservation knew too as the pack still held quite a bit of notoriety. The novelty of our "gang" had worn off for most. We didn't strike fear in people like we had in the past because people had realized we left everyone alone. But such a small reservation needed gossip from somewhere.

The fact that it was Kim and Jared made the news bigger to most. Our pack was still seen as intimidating enough that staying away from us was deemed the smart thing to do. The fact that quiet, timid Kim had gotten herself pulled into our fold somehow was confusing to most of La Push. I had heard the whispers about why Jared, always "misbehaving" even before he was a wolf, had chosen such a girl. While, at the same time, people couldn't understand why Kim had chosen to date him either. The last speculation showed how little people in La Push knew Kim. I could imagine Kim happily being with Jared even if there were no imprint and he really was some sort of gang member. She'd been pretty far gone before he imprinted on her. Kim was the only member of an imprint couple capable of saying that.

Since it was my spring break, I had little to do. I'd spent most of the day wandering around La Push hearing the whispers, and I was tired of it. It was a reminder of how small La Push was and how everything I did was fodder for the gossip of people I didn't care about.

I wanted a break. A break from La Push, not the break from college I was already getting.

A spur of the moment decision of this size was new for me, but it felt like it had been a long time coming. And I knew I could do it too. Despite worry over how my mother would react, I was an adult, and I could do what I wanted even if she disapproved.

Finding Embry was also easy, which only strengthened my sense that I needed to do this. He was at home, sitting around doing nothing just like I had been planning to do until less than an hour ago.

"You have a car, right?" I asked without preamble as soon as he let me into the house.

He looked at me suspiciously. "Yes," he replied slowly.

As soon as I was in the house, I spun around to face him. I watched him close the front door, and as soon as his attention was on me, I spoke.

"How hard would it be to convince you to go on a spontaneous road trip with me to Oregon?"

I watched Embry's eyes widen and then narrow as he gained control of his expression.

"Where in Oregon?"

"Newport?" I wasn't sure why I made it sound like a question. I'd already decided. "It's on the beach, not as big as Portland. I figured, why not?"

"Do you have definite plans, or…?"

I shook my head. "I thought of this fifteen minutes ago."

Embry brushed past me instead of answering, going to sit down in the living room. I followed behind as I waited with baited breath for his answer.

"What are you asking me exactly?"

That question made me stop short. I didn't have an answer. The decision to invite Embry over anyone else had been instinctual more than thought out. I didn't know why.

"You have a car," I answered lamely. That was the only logical thought I could apply to my decision, but some of the other guys had cars too. I hadn't asked them to come with me.

Embry nodded along like that answered his question, and I wasn't about to attempt elaborating. Not when I couldn't.

"I'd have to ask my mom," he said instead. "I doubt she'll be too happy about her minor son going on an unplanned road trip for spring break."

"You'll be eighteen in two months," I pointed out. "Use that to your advantage."

Embry snorted. "Like that'll do much good. I've already damaged her trust since phasing. She's not going to care."

"You think she'll keep you from going then?"

Embry shrugged. "If she does, I'll sneak out. I'll go with you, Leah."

I frowned. I hadn't planned on getting him in trouble. His mother hadn't entered my mind when I'd come to ask. There were times when it was difficult to remember that most of the guys were younger than me, still technically children under their parents' roofs.

"You'd wind up grounded. Probably until after graduation, and that's being generous."

Embry shrugged again, and I couldn't understand why he looked so unbothered.

"Not like I haven't dealt with that before. I'd be fine."

It was difficult to find that reassuring, and my expression made that clear. I wasn't sold on being the reason Embry wound up grounded until adulthood.

"Leah," he sighed. "I mean it. I'll go with you. It doesn't bother me."

I had a hard time believing that. Not that he was willing to go, but that he was okay being grounded. No one wanted to get in that much trouble, and Embry, in particular, was always hurt whenever he upset his mother. I had a hard time believing he was choosing me over her. I still had a hard enough time convincing myself we were friends most days. Why would spontaneously traveling to Oregon with me be a good thing if it meant hurting his mom? Hell, even I felt bad for upsetting his mom. I knew how much it distressed her to see Embry go through something she couldn't understand.

"We're going," Embry continued. "I think you need to do this, and you don't want to go alone. Which is a wonder in and of itself . I'm not letting you back out of this."

All I could do was nod because I knew Embry wouldn't see reason. At this point, I imagined he'd go on his own if I refused, knowing I would follow him in trying to get him back to La Push.

That night, I waited at home knowing that Embry was asking his mom. I'd insisted he try that first even though we both knew how it would end. My own mother wasn't thrilled at the idea of Embry sneaking away for this either, but she made no attempts to stop us. On some level she wanted me to have this like Embry did.

Seth, on the other hand, was the only one who thought concern about Embry's mom was ridiculous. He'd shrugged it off, saying that Embry had been in trouble plenty of times before. Why would now be any different?

What was different was now I was responsible for it, and now Embry was "running away" to another state. This wasn't sneaking out for patrol around La Push. I was pretty sure I could be arrested for child kidnapping in this scenario if his mother wanted to take it that far. For once, I thought having Charlie Swan as a stepfather might be convenient.

Charlie himself was staying quiet on the whole matter. His expression when I talked to Mom had been a bit worried, but he hadn't said anything. I wondered if he was thinking back to all the times Bella had disappeared and he hadn't known what was going on. He probably related to Embry's mom a lot in that way.

I was packed and ready to go when Embry showed up at our house. I had the door open before he could get to it, and I was surprised to see him smiling.

"I have permission," he informed me before I could question him.

The car was parked in the driveway, and I could see that he'd flung a full duffel bag in the backseat. I stepped out of the doorway with my own bag, pulling it shut behind me. The rest of the family had already gone off to bed, so there were no more goodbyes to be said. Throwing my own bag beside Embry's, I got into the car after him, not speaking until he was backing out of the driveway.

"You got permission? From your mom?"

The concept was so unbelievable that I wanted him to confirm it for me again. Surely he was lying to help me feel better. I was under the impression that Embry's mom hadn't always been strict, but she'd become that way when Embry began to break the rules.

"I got permission from my mom," Embry repeated, sounding truthful despite how unbelievable it was.

"How?" I needed a story before I could wrap my head around it.

A strange look passed over Embry's face, but I hardly caught it before it was gone. His eyes remained on the road, and I sensed that he wouldn't have been looking at me even if he weren't driving.

"I think knowing I was going along with you made her feel better about it. You're the only one of the 'gang,' as she calls it, that she somewhat likes. Well, and Seth, but everyone likes Seth."

It was true. I'd heard whispers from people who couldn't understand how Seth had gotten wrapped up in the "La Push Gang." Usually, they blamed me. Embry's mother having any sort of positive feelings towards me was strange. And unexplainable. Few people in La Push liked me.

The only thing I could think to say was, "Huh."

Embry shrugged, and I assumed he didn't understand his mother's reasoning either.

"I think she's had a soft spot for you since you were a kid and came into the store with your mother. Your family was nice to her when she didn't know many people here."

I remembered those trips. My mom had brought me along to play with Embry. He couldn't have been more than two or three at the time. It was before he could be away from his mother unsupervised and began tagging along with Quil and Jake. I'd complained, not wanting to deal with a younger kid, but my mom had insisted that Tiffany Call needed to talk to someone. I had to suck it up and be nice to her son.

Once I'd gotten older, I got out of going on those trips. I'd never known I'd done anything during them to inspire lasting feelings of affection. I'd only been a reluctant child and nothing more. I hadn't even spoken to Tiffany Call much, just played with Embry away from our parents. What about me had caught her attention?

I couldn't help but say, "That's strange."

Embry shrugged, but I felt like there was more he wasn't saying to me. He had to know more about why his mom felt that way. There was no way she hadn't offered any explanation. To Embry, his mother's reasoning was obvious, but he wasn't planning on making it obvious for me too.

"I guess that's good news for you then," I said. "Anytime you want to stay out of trouble, name drop Leah Clearwater, and your mom will let you do whatever."

Embry smiled. "I don't know about doing 'whatever,' but I'll try it out. Right now we should focus on what we're going to do in Oregon. We don't even have a hotel, Leah."

"Surely some place will have a room available when we get there. I'm not asking for a five star place here. We're werewolves. We can deal with something sketchy."

"I know we can, but I'd still feel better if we had an idea of where we're going instead of winging it."

I reached out to poke him in retaliation. "Relax. Don't be so uptight. You're ruining the spontaneity of this road trip."

Embry smirked as he glanced over at me.

"Says the one who tried to get out of it when I said I might have to sneak out."

"That's different. It had nothing to do with going with the flow. That was something else."

"It really wasn't," Embry said with a shake of his head. "It was definitely not 'going with the flow.'"

I became as serious as I could. "Look, there's refusing to go with the flow, and there's being nice and saving someone from a grounding. I was doing the later."

"Whatever you say, Leah."

After that, we fell into a silence that lasted the entire way to the Washington-Oregon border. I closed my eyes and listened to the radio, letting the music calm my mind. Embry hummed along to the songs, and the behavior I would have found annoying in most helped me feel even calmer. I was starting to attribute a lot of positive feelings to Embry's presence. I think I had since the beginning of last year when he started sticking around so much.

I still wasn't sure what had prompted him to be around me in the beginning, but I was thankful. Somewhere along the way, he'd kind of started becoming my best friend. Recently, I'd been spending more time with Joselyn, but for a long time, Embry was the person I saw the most outside of family. I hadn't realized how important that had been to me until I'd instinctively asked him on this trip.

Now I was having a minor epiphany while he drove, and I let him believe that I was asleep or daydreaming.

The thing was, I'd never thought much about Embry being my friend, let alone my closest friend. He was a pack member, a brother of sorts, but that had always been a different thing. I had come to think of the other wolves as brothers, especially our pack. I'd never thought about whether they were also "friends" in the traditional sense of the word. It felt like a different sort of relationship.

I would have referred to them each as my friends if asked and unable to discuss the pack bond. I would have. But I had never thought one of them could fill a best friend role in my life. That was one reason I'd so wanted to make friends at school.

And I still wanted that. I longed for friendships outside the pack, natural ones not created through wolf magic. At the same time, I was a bit sorry I'd overlooked those "magic induced" friendships. Maybe I'd been selling Embry's friendship short by assuming he only hung around me because we were wolves. Even if that's what had started it, did that need to negate how things were now?

Some part of my subconscious must have already been thinking that if I chose him for this trip.

March 11th, 2008

Our silence eventually switched to conversation for the rest of the seven hour drive. Embry showed no sign of wanting to stop except for several bathroom and food breaks. We kept driving through the night, arriving in Newport in the early hours of the morning.

I knew I was exhausted, and I'd only been sitting there, not driving like Embry had. With no directions of any kind, we drove around until we found a cluster of hotels.

Only upon asking for a room did I realize that we'd never discussed what the room situation was going to be. With flushed cheeks, I was forced to look back at Embry, trying to assess what it was he wanted me to do. He shrugged, which I took as a sign to do whatever I wanted.

"One double room," I told the staff, hoping my voice wasn't shaking.

That was a cheaper option than getting two separate rooms. I'd seen Embry naked before for the love of God. We were always in each other's heads. Sleeping in the same hotel room would seem like nothing after all that. At least I hoped.

I kept telling myself that as we carried our bags up to the room we had been given.

As we glanced around the unremarkable room, I realized I'd never shared a room with a male outside of my family. And while I felt like sharing a room with Embry shouldn't be a big deal, it still felt like one. Part of me had assumed that sharing a room with a guy like this would happen as a romantic milestone. The implications of this were at the forefront of my mind no matter how I tried to push them down.

We'd both seen each other naked before, if never on purpose. That alone should have canceled out any awkwardness that sharing a room would bring. I was doing nothing except working myself up in my own mind. I was being ridiculous.

Once we were alone in the room and unpacking, I started picking up on signs that Embry was nervous about this too. He hesitated several times as if he felt strange taking up any space in the room even though it was as much his as it was mine. But I felt the same way, like I should take up as little space as I could to be polite. When I hesitated about placing something on my own half of the nightstand, I could only scoff at myself. It wasn't as if either one of us had packed enough to fill the room anyway.

Embry finished unpacking before me, and he sat stiffly on his chosen bed. Not moving much at all.

"You could turn on the TV," I suggested. His jump at my words was what confirmed he was nervous, and that helped calm my own nerves as I finished unpacking.

By the time I'd finished, he'd flipped on a movie and was watching it, still stiff and distracted. I settled onto my own bed. While Embry had perched himself on the end of his, I chose to sit up higher and recline on the pillows. I felt more comfortable here behind Embry, knowing he could only see me if he turned around.

It also gave me an opportunity to observe how tense he was, and I felt like I should do something to help him loosen up.

There was also the fact that it wasn't even six in the morning yet, and we'd been driving all night. The smart thing to do would be go to sleep, but neither one of us was making a move to do so. I was still trying to adjust to being in a room together, falling asleep before Embry felt strangely intimate. Sleeping was when you were at your weakest. It was the ultimate form of letting your guard down in front of someone.

But I also felt nervous about raising the idea of us both going to sleep at the same time. I knew it would lead to awkward "getting ready for bed" routines.

So I sat there and watched the television instead even though I had no idea what was happening on the screen. My brain was too foggy to put effort into working it out. Eventually, my eyelids were far too heavy to stay open, and before long, I was asleep.

I sprung awake hours later, swiveling my head this way and that. It took a minute for my mind to calm down and remember how I'd gotten to this strange place. The room wasn't bright enough for it to be mid-day. That was the first thing I registered beyond where I was. I turned around to look at the clock and groaned when I saw it was past six in the evening. Sunset would be soon. We'd slept the entire day away.

Or at least I had. I looked over at the other bed to confirm that Embry was asleep too. Of course, I had no way of knowing when he'd fallen asleep. It could have been right after me or hours later. He was sprawled out on top of the covers like I was, but that wasn't bothering him thanks to the higher body temperatures we possessed.

I debated with myself for a few minutes about whether I should wake him up. It was late after all, and it was already going to be impossible for us to fall asleep at a normal time tonight. It was likely Embry would want to be woken up.

Then my stomach growled, and I welcomed any excuse to Embry keep sleeping. He had to be starving too. We'd been asleep the entire day.

There had been a fast food place not that far away. I could walk the distance easily, and the smell of food would wake him up when I got back. That would save me from having to do it myself.

I was careful to be quiet as I got up and slipped on shoes, not bothering with my appearance otherwise even though I was in yesterday's clothes. It wasn't like I'd ever see anyone in this area again.

The only way to close the door was with a click, one I swore was louder now than it had been that morning. I could only hope it hadn't woken Embry up, but there was no way of knowing. I pushed the thought from my mind as I hurried down the stairs and past the parking lot.

There was a lot of commotion in this area of town. It gave off the vibe of being a touristy part of the city, although it couldn't compare to somewhere like Orlando that was known everywhere for tourism.

I was starting to rethink my decision to not change clothes.

At least it was fast food. I could get in and out fast enough that any embarrassment was limited. Or so I hoped.

They didn't look busy when I walked in, an achievement considering it was dinner time. Maybe the tourists were more concerned with checking out the "fancy but still affordable" restaurants. Fast food was put on the back burner for vacation. Understandable, but not a concern I shared at the moment. I wanted food, and getting it as fast as possible was my biggest priority.

I ordered a shit ton. Way more than any one person could justify buying. But I wasn't a person. I was a wolf who had another wolf to feed.

When I got back to the room, I didn't bother to muffle the click of the door or the sound the food made when I sat it on the table. I rustled around in the bags, only seeing Embry stirring from the corner of my eye. He got up quickly when he realized there was food, and I handed him his half of what I had gotten.

Neither one of us spoke as we settled on our respective beds with our dinner for the night. Embry flipped on the TV again, and again, I had no idea what was playing. I tried to watch as I ate, but I found myself bored.

My spur of the moment vacation had so far consisted of sitting in a car, sleeping, and eating fast food. Not a huge success. I still had four days before we went back to La Push, and at some point, I planned on doing something note-worthy. My bank account didn't get money added to it often, which meant I spent sparingly, and I had to make sure this trip was worth it.

I glanced over at Embry and noticed that he wasn't invested in the television either.

"We can't sleep the entire day away tomorrow," I said. It was the first time our silence had been broken since we'd arrived at the hotel room.

Embry looked over at me and smiled in amusement. "You fell asleep first," he quipped. "And I figured it was better to let you sleep instead of setting an alarm. Wouldn't want to wake the terrifying Leah Clearwater before she was ready."

I scoffed even though I was secretly amused. "I'm not that terrifying when woken up. Especially not after sleeping more than ten hours."

"To have a full day, we would've needed an alarm sometime before ten. That would've only been, like, four hours sleep or something."

I shuddered to think of doing something on so little sleep. "Well, one or something would have at least been smarter than this. We could have done something, and we would stand a much better chance of being able to sleep tonight. Now our internal clocks are completely thrown off."

Embry shrugged, tossing the trash from his finished meal into the trash can without standing up. "I think I'll manage it."

I couldn't imagine how he could do that. Teenage boys had reputations for sleeping a lot, but considering Embry's penchant for sunrises, he didn't seem to follow that norm.

"Well, I won't." I already envisioned a night where I tossed and turned for hours before my body gave in and let me succumb to sleep. "But that's not going to stop me from trying. Tomorrow we're doing something: the beach, the aquarium, something."

"There's an aquarium?" Embry asked, and I realized that we'd never discussed what was in Newport.

"There's an aquarium," I confirmed. "We, my family and me, came once when I was, like, ten."

It had been the furthest from home I'd ever been at the time. Only being beaten when we went to some small, northern California town a couple of years later.

"Anything else?" Embry asked, choosing not to comment on my past family vacation.

I narrowed my eyes. "Is the beach and aquarium not enough for you?"

Embry offered a shrug. "Those things are fine, fun even. I'm just wondering if there's anything else you planned on doing or if that was it."

I thought back to the things we'd done on that vacation. There wasn't anything I could think of that I was dying to do, although I had a few ideas of possibilities.

"We'll wing it," I said. "See what we're up to doing on any particular day. I don't care what we do as long as we're out of La Push for a week and not wasting it in a hotel."

Embry nodded, and we fell into silence again.

With several hours until I could force my mind to rest, I needed something to occupy myself. I also needed a shower and change of clothes, but that was a task I was dreading more than I had sleeping the night before.

"I'm going to shower," I told Embry, and I swore I could see his cheeks darken as I got up to retrieve my things.

I was extra careful to make sure I had everything. There was no way I'd be coming out of the bathroom until I was completely done. Honestly, it was ridiculous to be this worked up about showering when it was private. The pajamas I had packed didn't reveal anything Embry hadn't seen a million times before. And, as I had to remind myself, he'd seen me naked before even if being out in the woods would always be different.

Once I was locked away in the bathroom, I felt like I could breathe a bit easier. Still, I was conscious that Embry could hear all of my movements, so I turned on the much too loud fan to give myself more privacy. I wasn't sure how well it worked, but it was better than nothing. The shower itself would only create more noise to drown me out.

I was as quick as I could be in the shower. My hands, shaking from my nerves, allowed my shampoo to slip from my fingers after I'd turned the water off. I cringed as it hit the floor, too embarrassed to have thought about catching it before it could make a noise. Embry had to have heard. Even a normal human would have. My cheeks flushed even though I was alone.

So much for supernatural reflexes. This trip was turning me into a blushing mess. There was one other time I could remember being this way around someone, and that had been when I first started dating Sam. Sure, Embry and I had wound up sharing a hotel room, but this was nothing like that. He was my friend, and this shouldn't have me so nervous. So why did it?

I wasn't sure if I wanted to dig deeper to uncover the answer.

When I made it out of the bathroom, there was a good chance my face was still flushed, but I hoped I could play it off as heat from the shower. I'd adapted to taking as hot of showers as the faucet would allow since phasing. Warm showers had always been comforting to me and had become difficult to achieve after phasing. Hot water would often feel lukewarm at best.

Embry's eyes were on the television when I emerged. He didn't look like he was paying attention to me at all. I occupied myself with putting everything back in my bag, and as I did so, Embry muttered something about taking a shower too. By the time I'd finished putting my things away, he had closed the bathroom door behind him.

I sat down on my bed with a sigh.

We'd wound up spending twenty-four consecutive hours in this room together, not including my excursion for food. Somehow, we were still acting awkward about it. This was getting old.

Again, I tried to focus on the television, using the remote to flip to something I recognized. But I had never been a television watcher. Most shows didn't hold my attention, and I was feeling restless at the moment. I wished I'd thought to bring a mindless diversion with me, but it hadn't occurred to me. The TV was all I had.

Well, that and the Bible that was in one of the drawers if I bothered to search for it.

Embry's shower was quicker than mine, and he was out of the bathroom in no time at all.

I glanced at the clock. Still far too early to go to bed. Both because we'd just woken up and because we'd be up at two in the morning if we managed to sleep now. Embry acted like he was going to keep watching TV, but I didn't think I could put up with that for the rest of the night.

"Let's play a game," I suggested out of nowhere.

It was an odd request from me. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done anything that could fall under the category of "games." Embry gave me a questioning look, and all I could do was shrug. There was no explanation other than boredom.

"There's nothing on TV, and we have to occupy ourselves somehow. Why not?"

Embry grinned. "Fine by me. But what are you wanting to play?"

I thought back to various slumber parties I'd been to as a kid and how we'd occupied ourselves then. Anything that needed some sort of prop was out. Truth or dare was something meant for groups, not two people, and several games that came to mind were excuses for kissing. The only game I could think of that we could play was Would You Rather.

"Would You Rather?" I suggested. "That's all I've got."

"Fine by me."

Embry readjusted himself so that he was still sitting on his bed but was facing me instead of the TV. I followed suit, and it felt strange to be looking at him like this in a hotel room lit only by one lamp.

"You start," Embry said once we were both facing each other.

I racked my brain for ideas.

"Would you rather go on vacation in Europe or in the Caribbean?"

Embry was quiet for a few moments while he thought, and then he shrugged. "I don't prefer one over the other."

I clicked my tongue on the roof of my mouth. "That's not how Would You Rather works. You have to make a decision."

Embry frowned as he continued thinking.

"Fine," he said after a moment's pause. "Europe, I guess. I could see old buildings or whatever. We have a beach at home."

I could have pointed out that beaches in the Caribbean were nothing like the ones we had at home, but I didn't bother.

"Your turn," I prompted him.

He answered so quickly that I knew he'd already been thinking about this.

"Would you rather have no one show up at your wedding or no one show up at your funeral?"

"My funeral, obviously. I wouldn't be alive for it, so why would I care? I have to be at my wedding. Make no mistake, I intend to be the most stereotypical grouchy old lady that I can be. Why care how you come across to people once you're past seventy?"

"Because you want there to be people willing to take care of you once you can't do it yourself?"

I brushed off the comment. "If I ever have kids, I imagine they'll at least bother to check me into a nursing home. Even if they never visit."

"That's such a negative view of the future, Leah."

Embry looked sad on my behalf, which annoyed me. It had been a joke anyway, albeit a self-deprecating one. He didn't have to take it so seriously.

"Of course it is," I countered. "I'm Leah Clearwater. I have to keep up my reputation of being a heartless bitch until death."

Embry shook his head and avoided looking at me.

"No one thinks you're heartless , Leah. Rough on the edges, yeah, but not heartless."

I laughed at that one.

"Sure they do. Maybe a few people don't, but they're a minority. To the vast majority of La Push, I became a bitter harpy after Sam."

Embry was still shaking his head, but I refused to argue over this. I was right, and I knew it. There was no sense in arguing over which one of us had an accurate view of the opinions of La Push's populace. And it was my turn to ask a question.

"Would you rather never have phased but have been told who your dad is or to have phased but never know?"

Embry's head shot up at that, and he looked at me with wide eyes. It had been months since the subject of his father had come up between us. I doubted he'd spoken about it with anyone else either. For the most part, everyone had accepted that Embry wasn't going to question his mother. There was no use in speculating in their opinion.

The question itself was low, but I was feeling peeved about the exchange Embry had decided to have. I couldn't bring myself to regret it, especially when I was curious about the answer. In a way, I was only proving to Embry what a heartless bitch I was.

Embry watched me closely as if he were waiting for me to say it had been a joke and to give him another question. I didn't. After a moment, Embry sighed and looked away, but he still didn't answer. I couldn't tell if that was because he didn't have an answer or because he did and didn't want to say it.

"To have phased but never know."

If asked beforehand, I would have said I didn't know what Embry's answer would be. Now it felt clear that that would have been his answer all along. I hadn't been around for Embry's initial reaction to being a wolf, but I knew he had been more positive about it than I had.

And the idea of finding out who his father was seemed to scare him. I had never been sure why. For a long time I had been convinced that he legitimately didn't want to know. It went deeper than reluctance to discuss it with his mom.

I nodded and didn't question him anymore about it. I didn't think I needed to. He wouldn't have responded.

We were both quiet after that, and I wasn't sure if Embry intended to ask me another question or not. I had put a wrench in the mood, but I still contended that Embry had started it.

"Would you rather Sam never have imprinted on Emily or things to have ended up the way they have?"

Oh. So not only were we still playing, but I had made Embry up the stakes too. Now I regretted my question. But I couldn't refuse to answer when Embry had. It would be losing an unspoken challenge.

The thing was, I didn't know my answer. He'd asked me what could have been the hardest question I'd ever received. The silence between us felt enormous, and I could feel Embry's eyes on me as I stared at the wall off to the side of him. I felt exposed, and Embry was far too distracting for me to think about the question. How could I come up with an answer when my brain wouldn't work properly?

After a while, Embry sensed this and looked away. My own eyes remained where they were as I tried to sort out my feelings.

I was over Sam. I'd known that much for a long time. There were no circumstances that would result in me ever taking him back. Not for callous reasons but because I wasn't the slightest bit interested in being with him.

However, if Sam had never imprinted in the first place, my life would be different. I would never have went through the dark place I'd struggled so hard to pull myself out of. I still didn't think I'd pulled myself out of that place completely. Part of me wondered if all of me would ever escape it. These days I held a certain disillusionment with the world that I'd never had before. I'd be more optimistic if Sam and I had never broken up.

There would be no guarantee something besides imprinting wouldn't break us apart, but that wouldn't have bothered me. There was just one thing that made consider the idea of Sam not imprinting. Any other break up with him might not have destroyed me the way his and Emily's relationship had.

So, Embry's question wasn't about Sam, at least not for me. It was about whether the heartbreak that had resulted from Sam imprinting had been good for me in the end or not. That felt like a decision I'd been trying to make for ages. I couldn't whip out an answer just because I'd been asked directly.

By now I had been quieter far longer than Embry had been before his answer, and I was still stumped. While Embry's hesitance had come from not wanting to voice an answer he already knew, I didn't even have one. My mind refused to settle on one answer.

I'd have no choice but to try to talk my way around a direct answer and hope Embry took it. I knew the answer Embry expected, and I didn't think I could say that one.

"For things to end up how they have," I admitted quietly.

I knew he could hear me even if no human would have. The admission felt embarrassing, but then, either answer would have. Neither one was as embarrassing as baring my soul and telling him how conflicted I was.

I chanced a glance over at him and saw a look of surprise and perhaps almost wonder on his face.

"Really?"

I gave a halfhearted shrug. I hadn't bothered to question him further after his answer. Why did he have to do so with mine?

"Really," I confirmed. For some reason, I felt like I should explain further, so I did. "Not that I think that's all that great of an option either, mind you. But I went through shit, and I'd feel worse about it if it was invalidated. If it suddenly hadn't happened anymore, you know?"

Embry nodded slowly. "I think so. You think it would have made your suffering pointless."

"Exactly."

I hoped I'd given him enough hints to realize that none of it was about Sam. I would have liked to think Embry had already gotten what few people seemed to so far. I was over Sam. Any lingering hurt wasn't about wanting him back. But I wouldn't have been surprised if there were still doubts in Embry's mind about that. Outright admitting all these feelings was too much, but I didn't want anyone in the pack thinking I was still hung up on Sam when I wasn't.

"Do you have a question for me?" Embry asked.

I chewed on my cheek. "No," I said with a sigh. "I think we can be done if that's alright with you."

Embry nodded his head, and I shifted so I was no longer facing him. Instead, I laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

What had started out as a way to pass the time had wound up exhausting me. I wouldn't have been able to take anymore of it if we'd kept playing. I turned my head to look at the clock. The game had taken up more time than I'd realized, and even though it was early, I didn't feel guilty for sleeping.

The earlier we woke up the next day, the more likely we'd do something. Outside distractions meant fewer deep talks, and that's what I wanted.

In silence, Embry followed my lead, turning so his back was facing me. I watched him for a few moments, although I wasn't sure why, before I copied him by turning and facing the wall.

March 12th, 2008

All in all, it ended up being a night of tossing and turning. I'd gotten a reasonable amount of sleep by morning, but it had taken an agonizingly long time to fall asleep in the first place. Embry had fared better. While I'd continually shifted trying to get comfortable, he had been silent and still in his own bed.

I woke up just after seven in the morning, and I could tell that dawn had yet to break outside. It took me a little longer to realize Embry moving around the room had been what woke me up.

Sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I tried to figure out what he was doing. He looked more awake than I felt. Once he glanced back to see me sitting up, he smiled.

"Do you want to go out and see the sunrise?" he asked.

The tone of his voice made me want to tell him to shut up and stop messing around so I could sleep again. He was far too awake, but I did want to see the sunrise. We'd missed the opportunity yesterday, and I didn't want to miss it again.

"I don't know which direction is which here," I pointed out.

"I'm sure we can figure out just fine where the sun is, Leah."

True enough. A good sense of direction should have been one of our supernaturally enhanced powers. Maybe I'd never honed that particular one well enough and could give it a shot now.

I got up, gathered my stuff, and locked myself in the bathroom again. I was halfway through getting dressed before I realized I hadn't felt nervous about it like yesterday. There was no clear reason why either. Maybe my brain had given up being nervous because it was too much work.

Embry was looking at his phone, but he stowed it away once I came out.

"Ready to go?"

I nodded, bending over to tug on my shoes.

Sure enough, as soon as we were outside, we could tell where the sun was rising thanks to the colors in the sky. Embry gave me a small, smug smile without saying anything.

We kept walking in that direction as if we expected to reach the sunrise itself. Right now, we could only see some colors, with the rising sun itself being obscured by buildings. It came in and out of sight as we walked, but I didn't think we'd reach a clear view before it rose. Not unless we ran.

There weren't many people around. No doubt most tourists didn't want to start their day before dawn. It was almost like being alone on a public street. That wasn't an uncommon feeling in La Push, but it felt strange here. I wondered if anyone was watching us from inside the buildings and wondering what we were doing walking aimlessly so early in the morning.

I felt out of place.

We kept walking until the sun reached the height that usually resulted in our departures from each other. Except we couldn't separate this time. We were stuck together for the rest of the day.

Embry pointed out a small, diner-looking place that we decided to eat breakfast at. Way too much breakfast going off of the overwhelmed look the waiter had given us when we ordered. But we finished it quickly, and then it was off to occupy ourselves for the rest of the day.

"You mentioned an aquarium."

"Yeah, but I don't know where it is. I was only ten last time. I wasn't paying attention to directions."

I glanced around as if the aquarium would pop out of the ground. You never knew. Maybe the town had decided to erect a sign in this very spot that would point us in the right direction. But there was no such luck.

Embry shrugged off my confusion. "The hotel should have information, right? If we ask?"

I mimicked his shrug. "I'd assume. The aquarium would be popular enough that they'd have been asked before."

So we walked back to the hotel and asked for directions. Once we knew the way, it was easy enough to get there. The price to get in felt a little ridiculous, but I was determined to enjoy this impromptu vacation without worry. It had been a long time since I'd bothered to spend money on myself for anything but the essentials. School, actually, might have been the only thing in years I'd spent money on, and that was considered an investment. This trip wasn't unless you considered it an investment in my own mental sanity. Which was a sound investment as far as I was concerned.

The last time I'd been to an aquarium was when I'd last stepped foot in this one. I had vague recollections of that trip, but it was nothing more than glimpses of fish through the glass. I couldn't remember how the aquarium was set up or what the full collection of animals was. Thinking back on it, I'd had a lasting impression of maybe five of the animals I found most impressive. Their figures were the only things I could remember.

"This is actually cool," Embry admitted when we were halfway through the building.

Both of us had been silent as we stared into the tanks. For me, it was because of a sense of wonder I felt looking at them all, and I guessed that was it for Embry too.

I hummed in agreement, watching a particularly large fish swim up close to the glass.

"You don't usually get to see stuff like this," I said, stepping closer to the glass to look at the fish.

Embry followed me, and we stood there even after the fish had swum away as other fish caught our eyes. There was so much to look at in each tank. And each living thing was constantly moving in a way that land creatures never experienced.

Fish and the like had never been interesting to me. Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, I'd survived on a lot of seafood, but what they had been doing before being pulled out of the ocean never concerned me. I'd went through my own phases of being obsessed with different animals as a kid, and I knew this aquarium had awakened a love for sea otters.

That obsession had faded like most things did, but now I remembered the sense of wonder I had felt all over again. How could anyone come here and not fall a little in love with what was beneath the ocean's surface?

I didn't plan on begging for a dolphin bedspread this time, but I appreciated the experience to see life that I never got to see.

Us wolves saw more of the forest life around La Push than anyone else. Surprisingly, we blended in well with them in a way humans couldn't quite manage.

But we weren't natural swimmers. These were creatures I had as little experience with as the other visitors in this place. It was difficult to be an expert on these things when they spent their lives in places inhospitable to humans. Even fisherman only managed to see a fraction of where these guys lived.

We walked on and on through the exhibits, each one making me feel more insignificant than the last. One in particular caused me to stop and stare at it for a while. It wasn't even a tank with animals. It was one of those informational things that only the nerdiest of guests stopped to inspect.

The sign talked about how large the oceans were in comparison to the land on earth. This sort of thing left me feeling similarly to how discussions of the vastness of the universe did. But the universe always felt so far away, even when you stared up at it at night. The ocean was close. I'd grown up on its shore, so the discussion of its vastness hit much closer to home.

I could swim off the beach in La Push and wind up anywhere in the world if I had the stamina. For all I knew, I did have the stamina as a wolf. We'd never tested the full limits of it, although I knew I would get tired and malnourished if I wasn't careful.

My thoughts drifted to how far I'd be able to make it and still survive. Not that I'd ever try. My wolf form could get me anywhere on land faster, and the ocean felt too large for me to arrive anywhere at a speed that wasn't maddeningly slow.

Thinking about the distance I would have to cover made me feel small. Thinking about how much distance there was underneath the surface made me feel insignificant.

The human race may have come to dominate part of the earth, but we hadn't gotten to most of it.

I pushed myself past the exhibit. I wasn't sure what Embry was doing at that point. The last I'd checked, he was behind me, and I was fairly certain he still was. But I didn't bother to glance back and see. There were too many other places my eyes need to look.

We reached the exhibit on sea creatures of the Pacific Northwest. For most people, this part probably felt unremarkable. Things close to home often do, and I knew I was guilty of similar sentiments.

But for however close these animals lived to me, I rarely, if ever, saw them. I had a fascination with the fact I could live alongside them my entire life and never be aware of it. I could go about my life on land and not once spare a thought to the countless creatures living within an easy distance.

The sea otters were here. The ones that mesmerized me as a child. I watched them, as playful and adorable now as they had been then. As a child, I hadn't believed they were from around here because I'd never seen one. Now that I'd grasped the meaning of endangered, it was easier for me to understand.

Their few numbers along our shores, in particular, made it unlikely I would stumble upon them. I'd be lucky to see them even if I were searching.

I got lost in watching them for a while, and then I became conscious of the people around me. Glancing around, I finally knew for sure that Embry was standing at my side, but he wasn't watching the otters. He was watching me.

I looked away quickly, back at the otters, but I wasn't taking in their movements like I had been before. The feel of Embry's eyes on me prevented me from focusing on anything else.

"Your face was different watching them than it was with the other animals," he observed.

It was the first thing either one of us had said since entering the aquarium. I'd been far too focused on the animals to be making conversation. There was a possibility I'd looked like an overly excited five-year-old.

"The sea otters were my favorite as a kid," I admitted.

That shouldn't have been embarrassing. What kid didn't have a favorite animal? There were reasons that zoos were so popular as family destinations. Kids loved animals. There was nothing abnormal about that. But I felt embarrassed for giving into that same sort of love as an adult. Or something like an adult at least.

Embry surprised me when he spoke up again. "The seals were mine."

"Seals?" I repeated in disbelief. "Whose favorite is the seals?"

Embry gasped in mock offense. "Seals are awesome. Have you never watched them walk? I'm not even sure it can be called walking."

"That doesn't make them favorite animal material."

Leaning on the bar in front of the glass with his arms crossed, Embry appeared to be taking this very seriously.

"And what makes an animal good enough to be favorite animal material?"

"One of two things: either its cuteness factor or its badass factor. Seals have neither of those."

Embry shook his head and turned back to the tank instead of me.

"Some of us think seals are plenty cute. Thank you."

I scoffed, but I was also smiling in amusement. I wasn't surprised Embry had picked an unexpected answer.

It fit for some reason, and we kept on joking with each other the rest of the time we were in the aquarium.

Most of our trip was spent on the beach. While it was a lot like the beach in La Push, it was free, and it also wasn't La Push. That alone made it different. Yet I did manage to get Embry back to the aquarium for one other visit. It hadn't even been all that difficult to convince him as I knew he'd enjoyed it too.