Hello lovelies! I hope all is well.
Soooo, I just wanted to say that only THREE people voted on my poll. Whoever you are, thank you ;-;
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! NOT NARUTO, NOT THE CHARACTERS, NADA!
BUT! I still need many more votes in order to actually begin on a new story. So please, help
Well well enough of me, I hope you enjoy this chapter...I really do! Please review, because I'll love you if you only review and don't vote.
"Excellent collaboration out there tonight you two! Asuma is very impressed!" Neji patted each of us on the back as we walked by.
"Neji, where's my water? I'm dying man!" I chuckled as he chucked a bottle my way. "Thanks Nej!" I gulped it down, throwing the now-empty article into the recycle bin outside of Sasuke's office.
I wonder if he's in there.
I reached out to grab the shiny bronze knob when someone called for me. I sighed and walked over to where they called for me. I hurried and dealt with it, clarifying that I was indeed alright and able to get home.
No, he's got to be here; he wouldn't miss this.
I jogged until I got in front of his door, thinking to knock but not really wanting to. I mean, if sharing his house hadn't convinced Sasuke that there was no need for him to hide away then I don't know what would.
"Sasukeee," I pushed the door open and stood in the doorway. "Um, I'm sorry. I always seem to be barging in at the wrong times," There Sasuke was, leaning against one end of his desk with Gaara in front of him, their lips just now pulling apart.
"It's fine Naruto; I was just leaving Sasuke a little goodbye present." He stepped away from the said raven. "I'm going back to Suna tonight so, this will be our last time meeting Naruto. Bye now," And he left with that, leaving an awkward tension in the air between my boss and I.
"I didn't realize I was interrupting...again." I scratched the back of my head slowly.
"He was just talking with me and when he heard you he came onto me. I didn't think he was going to kiss me," He looked down at the ground next to him.
"It seems like you miss him." I didn't know why I said it, or more like muttered, but it caused Sasuke to look up at me.
"What?" There was slight confusion hidden in his features, but it was more question than anything.
"You seem to miss him or your special nights or whatever you guys had. Even if you want to deny it, you lips certainly remember him." He scoffed.
"My body misses the fact that I used to actually have some fun. That's all it misses. My nights with Gaara were not always pleasure-filled. There were times when we got in huge arguments and things would get out of hand really quickly. Then there was..." He shook his head. "I don't miss him. My body misses the satisfaction I gained from him, but it doesn't miss him. It probably would hate him if it could feel like I can."
What? Is there something I'm missing here? Is he saying that Gaara...abused him?
"Sasuke, did Gaara..." He had his head to the side and down.
Sasuke really is just like a little lost dog...scared, hurt, and just searching for a home. A place to stay...
I stepped towards him slowly, pausing when I was right in front of him. I studied his features closely, catching a glimpse of a burgundy on the side of his right cheekbone. "You're wearing makeup, aren't you?" I rubbed my thumb against the covered bruised area softly. I felt his jaw tighten at that.
"You're used to just taking it and being told to just suck it up and deal with it like a man, aren't you?"
"What makes you think you can make all the assumptions?"
"Just because you think I'm annoying and too loud doesn't mean that I don't have some experiences of my own." A silence was held after and I kept my thumb on his wound. "Guys don't normally know how to apply makeup to cover up stuff like this unless it's their job or they've done it a lot." I felt my stomach twist as I thought about my next statement. "And I obviously know that the first is not a possibility."
"Go away." I looked at him, waiting for his head to turn my way. When I didn't follow his orders, he gripped my hand very harshly. "I said go away!"
"No!" I felt my shoulder twitch when I yelled back. "No...Going away would mean leaving, and I would never leave a friend behind." His hand shook and his grip loosened.
No...Please don't let him be doing what I think he's doing…
"Sasuke…?" He didn't answer me and I frowned deeply when his hand dropped and he placed it over his face. "Sasuke, c'mon...don't hide from me." I lead my thumb away from his face and instead reached for his wrist.
When I gripped it I felt a spark go through my body and it seemed to zap my shoulder, something that caused me to let go.
What was that?
I spotted a wet trail drip down his pale features and I died a little on the inside at seeing it. "Hey Sasuke, please look at me. Everything's gonna be okay, alright? Just, just look at me and let me help you through whatever you're feeling." I reached for his hand but was shocked when it was swatted away quickly.
"Get away!" His eyes were wide open and filled with too many emotions to even think about, the tears dribbling down his face contrasting his dark orbs. "Get the hell away from me!" He roughly pushed me a good distance away from him.
"What...Sasuke, just let me help you! Let me, let someone be there for you for once in your life!"
"NO!" He was standing when he said this, his head shaking and a violent edge to his quivering voice that clenched my heart. "NO NO NO! JUST GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"Why are you being this way! Just let me help you-"
"Why? Why am I being this way? Well I don't know, maybe because you can't help me! Nobody can help me!" He was backing away from me, so I stepped closer.
"That's because everyone you knew was fake, Sasuke! All of them were greedy and they only ever cared for themselves! Tell me, have you ever had a real friend? Someone who didn't hit you or make fun of you or make you feel like shit?" I didn't even know what I was saying anymore. The words were spewing from me as if I was speaking to someone I have known for years, when really, I didn't know Sasuke as well as my heart was making me think I did. "Sasuke, I can't hurt people like they can! I'd hurt myself before I'd hurt you!"
"That is such a bunch of bullshit! You've already hurt me Naruto! So don't come to me with your fucking lies!" He was yelling and his face truly believed what he was saying. There was no way I could believe him though, because it wasn't true; I'd only comforted him since I'd known him.
"What are you talking about…?" I really didn't know what he was talking about.
"This!" He angrily pulled back the sleeve on his left arm and held his arm out to me. "This goddamn Mark is what I'm talking about!" I shifted my eyes over to where he was pointing and I stopped breathing.
His Mark...it's the same as...he's…
I couldn't breathe, my mind fumbling with new memories I didn't remember having.
"This damn connection has driven me to places I didn't even know I could go! I feel so emotional all the time and it's not who I am! It's not how an Uchiha acts! No matter where I go or what I do my body is burning with the need to see someone who doesn't even know me! I don't want to know you, I don't want to be around you!" He was panting, the very opposite of what I was doing, and he seemed to hate the very things he was saying to me. "I don't want this, but this link puts me through constant agony and pain and I don't know what to do about it…" His voice trailed off.
"W-Wha..." I attempted to speak but couldn't form any cohesive form of words. I had a huge headache, a certain incident springing into my mind. "B-But you...you...wanted to forget..." I couldn't believe how fragile I sounded right now.
Sasuke looked at me with disbelief on his face for a second before his features loosened up and transformed into a weird type of concern. "What're you talking about...?"
"I don't know...I remember something...it was like that. Like you didn't want...you wanted to ignore me..."
Thump.
"A bunch of stuff...I remember a bunch of stuff now...but I don't really remember...like...doing them..."
Thump.
My voice was airy and slow, my mind swirling and my head feeling like it was going to combust from an overload of...stuff.
My breathing was slow, but heavy, and was increasing in speed. "Naruto, just take a deep breath, okay?"
"You...you lied to me." I was hyperventilating and struggled to push away my bad thoughts. "You never even told me...you knew the whole time and you still..." I gained some stability in my voice when I said this.
"Because I was hoping that maybe if you had forgotten then I could too."
It's because he hates you, because everyone hates you. Nobody would ever want to remember you. You're worthless.
I shook my head softly and stepped back, my breathes not slowing for anything.
Stop, stop! Bad thoughts, go away!
I tried to look up at the soft-faced raven on the other side of the room and calm down but I couldn't. It stopped me for a moment, yeah, because I wanted to hug him and wipe the damp from under his eyes. I couldn't stop myself for long however.
You're just a piece of trash to him, why don't you just realize it already? He doesn't care for or about you; nobody does.
"Why?"
"What...?"
"Why didn't you just ignore me, huh? Why not just leave me alone and hell, why not just leave me at Gaara's mercy?" I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and I was panting out loud now, my vision shaking along with my hands from the uncontrollable emotions wavering in me. "Why didn't you just try and forget about me like you said you wanted to? Why did you have to let me believe that you actually cared? This is why no one can trust anybody anymore! Because everyone cheats," My voice had steadily crescendo-ed to a high volume. "Lies, steals and fakes. Nobody will actually be real anymore!"
I felt an overwhelming sadness take over me and I found myself unable to speak.
Go away. Disappear. Die. Parish. Be erased.
All the events that have happened that included Sasuke replayed in my mind and I didn't even notice a river starting.
It's funny how quickly our positions can flip with each other, huh?
I began almost choking on my own oxygen and tried to register what to do.
Naruto, breathe! Remember that you're having an anxiety attack; that means you need to breathe!
I tried to go to a happy place, but everything was clouded with black and all the replayed was Sasuke; like my own broken record.
"Naruto..."
I began feeling light headed and saw gray form at the edges of my vision.
He hates you. Go, run; diminish.
There was a background noise that was followed by features from my Mate, all of it completely leaving my mental register. I saw him move, everything slowed down as my body was doing, and I let my eyelids begin to fall.
You can't ever be happy, because you're happiness only brings sorrow for everyone else. You should drown in your own sea of pity. Everyone wishes that-
"Naruto!" I heard Sasuke's faint yell and was jolted back to reality when a shiver ran down my spine. I tried to realize was going on and stop shaking, but my breathing wasn't calming and Sasuke being so close was not helping.
"Just calm..." He didn't finish. Instead, he leant forward and pressed his lips against mine. A pain shot directly to my shoulder and I forcefully pulled apart.
"Don't think about the pain. Fight through it and just breathe." Without waiting for any other types of response he pressed his lips back on mine, a little gentler this time.
And another pain wracked through my body, but I tried my best to ignore it and just focus on the kiss. So I noticed the pale man's lips, and how they were smaller but softer. I noticed the slight shaking there was between us, though maybe it came from me and not his own nerves, and I noticed how everything else seemed to shut off when I did focus.
I felt his heartbeat and my own. I realized how different my heartbeat was and aimed to match it. He pulled away when he must've felt me go back to normal and stared at me.
More.
There was no words passed between us as we both leaned in, hungry for another taste of each other. There was yet another hearth of pain that I had to fight through but this time, I was able to move my lips in unison. He snaked a hand up to cup the side of my face with his right and I turned my head to the side. He took that as his entry way and peeked his tongue into my slightly parted lips.
We both heard the door open, but at this point, we didn't really care.
The raven's hold strengthened a little bit and he pushed his tongue in, my own muscle clashing with his.
"I didn't know you guys had gotten to know each other this well so soon," My masked guardian's voice traveled through the office and that's when we both split apart and stilled.
Hm...looks like Naru has some problems of his own, huh?
Thanks for reading! Please remember to review and vote on my poll for more yummy stories!
I love you all!