Chapter Summary:
Truths are shown and Jack realizes some things about the Guardians
(Also Man in the Moon is an asshole and the Guardians really are Dogs of the Moon)
A/N:
HOLY SHITHAS IT REALLY BEEN A YEAR LIFE- YOU ARE A COLD BITCH! But really I apologize for a long wait on this story. I lost my muse and then I had some bad things happen... Really 2016 was the year of the devil. But now I'm focus and I really want to finish this story. I have the rest of the fic in my head, I just need to put it into words. But without further ado- *
Why won't you look at me?
Why won't you speak to me?
Haven't I done everything you asked?
No matter what I do, I am never good enough for you.
I am discarded for something better and am no longer the apple of your eye.
Why are you convinced that I would accept that?
Three weeks. It had been three agonizing and slow weeks since the realization of how dire the whole situation was. The charges given to the Guardians. The unlikable partnership with Death. Slowly, a pattern began to form at Santa's Workshop. Death took the night shift, claiming that he was more active at night. Plus, sometimes he had business to attend to during the day (being the Grim Reaper and all). Tooth and Jack decided to do mornings. Then Bunny and North would be together (although at the beginning Bunny said he could do by himself but Death didn't trust the hateful animal), and then Sandy. Sometimes Jack would be with the little mute Guardian when it was his turn, and thus was treated to a little bit of story time. Despite the fact the Guardians now consider him family, Jack still felt like a stranger on the outside looking in. He didn't know much about their history; what they were before they were chosen by Manny. Although he was the same; no one (except Sandy) knew that he died in order to become a Frost Spirit. Granted, if Jack had to do it all over again to save his little sister, he would. But no one else ever said anything about their past. The winter sprite didn't know if it was because they died like he did and they didn't remember (or want to remember), or if they had different circumstances. He spoke to Sandy about himself a little when the sandman was giving him dreams and asked about the little girl ice-skating with him. In turn, during the time the Guardian of Dreams was designated to guard Pitch, he told a few tales of his own life. Sandy didn't really remember being human (or if he ever was). He did know that he was the oldest of the group, existed before humans began building civilizations. He spoke about other spirits older than him, those whose names were lost both in the mortal and spiritual world. He even told some about Pitch. Now there was a surprise. Jack at first didn't believe that the same guy who shot his friend was actually very approachable back then. Sandy explained that this was before the Guardians were formed and the Dark Ages began. Pitch was still a loner, but wasn't as…cruel as he was now. Spirits still didn't approach him because of what he was and can do, but even then, Pitch wasn't unbearable. There were a couple of times where even Sandy would chat and play strategy games with the Nightmare King. He wouldn't say friends but they were on good terms at the time. In his shame, the sandman also told Jack how he began to distance himself as the Dark Ages progressed and more spirits began to appear and shun Pitch. It didn't help that Manny began picking out Guardians to protect children. Pitch was chosen last and it was a cruel to say that everyone but North didn't want him with the group. Their leader was willing to give Pitch a chance, but when the shade turned them down, they all breathed a sigh of relief. In a way, it was like when they first tried to recruit Jack. Only whereas they kept giving Jack reasons to become a Guardian, they let Pitch leave and never tried to convince him onto their side. Sandy admitted that later he realized why Pitch turn down the offer but kept it to himself. Especially after the events that led up to the fight at the end of the Dark Ages. And even worse, he completely stopped visiting the shade, thereby declaring Pitch the enemy. Even if it hurt his heart because of it. When asked about the other Guardians, Sandy replied that the others were not...accepting of Pitch and his dealings. Even North, who has been excited to invite the Boogeyman to their side, had asked him to change his stance and move aside. And of course, Pitch took offense to that. In a way, they made the Nightmare King their enemy. Despite spreading fear and nightmare through the world, Pitch was for all tense and purpose neutral. He held no alliance except to Manny. Jack accepted this new information with an open-mind. He now understood why Pitch was so vindictive. The frost child never talked about it with the other Guardians. In a way, he knew Sandy was older than the others and interacted with the world more than the rest. He knew what humans (especially children) went through. So he understood that children needed a dose of fear to survive and grow. Too much fear can ruin a soul, but too little can kill the body. Jack sighed as his thoughts wandered around while sitting at the table. It was currently getting dark, the Yetis had just finished cleaning after another tense dinner and soon the workshop would close down for the day. Despite not being a Guardian anymore, North still had the Yetis prepare for a Christmas that might not come. The big man himself was in his office either building to take his mind off the situation or trying to contact Manny once again. Death had to visit the Philippines, as there was a riot and many souls would be harvested that day. Toothiana was back in the palace, organizing teeth even though Jack knew that there were not many teeth to get from children anymore. Bunny was gone, having disappeared to Manny knows where, and Sandy was with Pitch since it was his turn to watch the sleeping Boogeyman. The frost sprite tensed at the sound of a door opening, and then relaxed when he realized it was just North. He had a plate of cookies in hand and a cup of hot chocolate. Blue eyes widened as he took in his fellow Guardian all by himself. "North, I'm surprised to see you down here. I thought you would be working on toys?" he inquired The Guardian of Wonder gave Jack a sad smile as he set the objects down on the nearby table. "I tried, but heart was not into it tonight," he said as he sat across from the younger Guardian. He was silent for a moment before speaking again. "I lost another child, a little girl. Sasha Ivanov. Russian. Wanted a doll that looked like her dead mother for Christmas." North pulled the object from his pocket: a little rag doll with black hair, pink circles that represented the cheeks and blue buttons for the eyes. He sighed as he laid it on the table. "There was an accident. Her father, he was driving really fast on icy road and he lost control of car. She...she flew out of window and landed on the pavement." Jack didn't realize he was holding his breath until then and he released it. "How do you know-" North scoffed. "Death...Death told me. I believe he was mocking me. He said..." And here North fists tightened in rage. "He said, 'Congratulations, Guardian. You didn't want a world covered in fear, well you have one now." He slammed his hand on the table. Jack jumped and almost rose out of his seat. North reared back and calmed himself down. "I apologize, Jack. I-I…" North sighed. "Part of me is angry and wants nothing more than to run and shake Pitch awake. Yell at him to fix his mess. To stop being selfish..." North's fist tightened once again before releasing. He looked down at them. "But a very small part... wonders that...that..."
"If you could have done something different..."
North looked up at Jack who was biting his lip. "I- I already told Sandy this. When-after I left Bunny's home, after the broken Easter eggs situation, I went to Antarctica and Pitch was there. I told him that he didn't know what it was like being alone, abandoned for three hundred years." Jack said.
Here North winced as the Guardian of Fun continued. "I lashed out at him and he attacked back, saying that he knew exactly what it was like to be cast out, to be in the shadows. To long for a family," Jack said finally. "I saw the look in his eye and he was... he was sad yet happy that he found another person that knew what it was like." "Jack-" "Let me finish. Please. L-like I said, Sandy knows about it, but for years I pushed it to the back of mind, thinking it was trick from Pitch. That he was trying to gain an ally... but now with all this happening? Sometimes I wonder if I didn't push him away, if I sat down and talked to him…maybe the situation would have changed. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten so far."
"Jack, I don't think-"
"I COULD HAVE TRIED, NORTH!" Jack jumped from his seat, his chair knocked back and hot tears running down his face. "I could have tried. He was lonely, desperate and if someone could have reached out to him, if he had one friend, if someone had just LISTENED, all this could have been avoided!" He released a deep, harsh breath and continued. "Sandy mentioned that you gave Pitch a chance. To be a Guardian. And when he turned it down, you all let him go and never brought the offer back up. Yet when I turned it down, you kept trying to convince me even to the point of getting me involved with your battles." He bit his lip and looked down. "The only reason I stayed was because I didn't want the kids to suffer. And in the end, we both got what we wanted..." Jack turned his back to North and looked across towards the other Guardian's Globe. "You got to put down an old enemy, got your belief back and children to believe in you again." He wrapped his arms around himself. "I got a family and kids that believe in me. I finally belonged somewhere, and I didn't think about the past or what would happen if things had played out differently. In a way, I'm glad you all never gave up on me and continued to ask. But…" Jack snapped his head back to North, still crying yet fury could be read on his face. "I want to know one thing: why didn't you do the same with Pitch? Why didn't you go after him and try to talk him into joining you, but did it with me?! WHAT MAKES ME SO SPECIAL?!" North couldn't say anything. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes wide. "Yes, North. Tell Jack Frost why he was harassed and Pitch was let go after one meeting?" Both Guardians quickly turned to the door where the voice came from. Death was there, arms folded and head cocked. North held his breath, feeling Death's icy stare through the mask. Jack stepped forward, confusion on his face. "How much did you hear?"
Death scoffed. "Enough." He unfolded his arms and continued speaking. "Enough to know that at least someone is smart enough in this little club to realize the meaning of Pitch's despair." He walked past the frost child and stood in front of North, face to face. "Well, North? Go on, explain why Jack Frost you fought for him to join you, and not the countless other spirits? I know Cupid would have been perfect, hell, Samhain would fit right in because he loves making children happy!" North narrowed his blue eyes. "Now is not the time-" "IT IS THE EXACT TIME FOR THIS, NICHOLAS ST. NORTH!" Death paused and to0k a deep breath under his mask. "For centuries, it's been you five. Only you five and yet there are other beings in this world that are part of children's lives. Yet the Man in the Moon asked for you Guardians. So is this a game for him?" At the question, Death pushed at North's chest. " Does the Man in the Moon like causing chaos and confusion on Earth?" He repeated the action. "Is that why when Pitch came and turned down the offer, you were all secretly relieved and celebrating?" Push "Can't have the boogeyman near children after all. What does he have to offer?" Push "And yet here's Jack Frost, who's famous blizzard killed more people than I could fathom-" "SHUT UP!" Death pulled back as North yelled and pushed him out of the way. North began to talk. "The reason Pitch was asked at the Pole in the first place was because of me." He looked down at his feet. "At the time, it was only us four and I felt that we could do more things. I invited Pitch to the Pole and then Manny found out." At this North slumped into a chair, head in his hands. "Manny was disappointed in me for inviting him, to offer something that could not be his. He told me that I could ask, but Pitch had to change. He had to conform or be left in dust. And if Pitch said no, I was not to ask anymore." Jack's eyes widen at the confession. "But Pitch did..." North nodded. "Yes, and I thought for a while it was best. I believed he would have been unhappy here. Tooth and Bunny, they did not make secret of their dislike of him. Sandy... well, he was indifferent with Pitch. Even I was wary, but I was also enthusiastic." North shook his head. "And during the Dark Ages, Manny asked us to stop Pitch because of all of the fear and chaos that he was causing. When we saw how it was affecting the children, we made sure to stop him. We gave him a chance to cease but... Pitch would not…" "That's because he COULDN'T, you idiot..." North looked at Death, whose fists were tightening. He continued speaking. "Did any of you fools pay attention at what the adults were up to? Or were you so stuck up, not paying attention to anyone that you didn't realize that Demons were on the surface-" "We thought his presence was bringing those Dark Spirits to the mortals! Demons were everywhere, people were dying and he was enjoying-"
"HE WAS WORKING TO STOP THEM!" Death yelled. Jack stepped back from the fury he felt in Death's bellow. North's eyes widen. "But Manny-" "DAMN THE MAN IN THE MOON!" Jack froze, mouth wide open. "Demons were slowly arising from their world, making deals with human and creating wizards and witches...evil ones that wanted to bring chaotic spirits into this realm. If they had succeeded, you would be dealing with worst things than your supposed rivalry with Pitch." Jack stepped forward. "But...but why would Pitch try to stop demons?" Death snorted. "He protects humans. Not JUST children. Mortals are greedy and foolish of all ages, and Demons can pick up on desires alone. Offer someone what they want and they will sell their first born or their own soul for that power, for love, even something simple as good health." Death looked away and continued. "Religion can only do so much. In a world where the rich ruled and the poor were dying, many turned to something that could give them hope, to give them light in their darkest hour. But the churches were also corrupted, stealing from the poor almost all they had just to satisfy their greed."
He looked up back at North. "So when the demons came and offered them something better, for their hopes, dreams and wonder, they took it. Never mind the fact that when they died, their souls will belong to them to be tormented and enslaved. Or the fact they sold their first-born children to a devil – those children will never be free after their 16th birthdays." Jack placed his hand on his mouth in shock. He knew that while there were plenty of good spirits in the world, there were rotten ones as well. He has had one or two confrontation with a few, but he was able to take care of himself. However, these demons that he was hearing about, they sounded worse than what the Guardians made Pitch out to be. The Boogeyman wanted to give kids nightmares and spread fear, but these vile creatures sounded like they wanted to corrupt and kill innocent people. "Pitch would never work with these things. Not when he spent most of his existence putting them back where they belong. In fact, during the Dark Ages he almost succeeded with getting rid of most of them." Death then stepped up to North, his gloved finger poking the Guardian in the chest. "But no! The Big Four just had to poke their damn nose into something they had no business in! You are infants compared to the rest of us! We knew what was going on and allowed Pitch to continue, even if that meant humans had to suffer a to be saved!" North bit his lip, feeling like a child being reprimanded by an older adult. "But-but we were just-"
Death shook his head, his breathing turning harsh behind his mask. "And the worst thing about it? Did any one of you fools ASK Pitch why he was doing such things? No, you all just brutally beat him and never looked back! You went on congratulating yourselves like good little children, never realizing what your actions have caused!" Death slapped North's face. "It's your fault children are dying!" Slap! "It's your fault that Pitch is in this predicament!" Slap! He then pointed at Jack. "And you Guardians who are at fault for Frost's-" He then stopped, frozen, the sentence still on his lips. Jack shrank back when Death turned his attention to him. North's face was pale as he watched the ancient spirit become silent. Death pulled his hand back and stood there for a second, staring at Jack. He then huffed and walked down the hallway towards Pitch's room.
"I'm telling you, he's a lying dirt bag!" "Bunny-" "No Tooth! Demons! Fucking witches sacrificing their souls for power?! He's just making us look like the damn bad guys again and I for one will not stand for this!" It was midnight, and Death had retired to the sleeping chambers of Pitch's. After the revealing conversation with him, North called for Tooth and Bunny, then asked for Sandy to stay. They were currently at the meeting table, the window open; and once again there was no moon. "But what if he is telling truth? I mean, aren't there things out there that are worse than Pitch?" Jack asked. Tooth rubbed her shoulders. "There were, but since Manny created us, they haven't been seen or heard from again. Demons were nonexistent when we arrived," she replied. "Then again, with the witch hunts and superstitions of humans, the time period was chaotic." "So was Pitch the cause of the mass fear or was it actually demons?" Jack asked. "IT WAS PITCH, ALRIGHT?!" interrupted Bunny before North could speak. "It was that bloody dirt bag! The demons, if there were any, probably came after when they sensed all the fear going around!" North frowned and turned to Sandy. "What do you believe, Sandy?" The Sandman looked in his eggnog before looking up. He quickly signed that what Toothiana said was true, most renowned malevolent spirits were gone by the time Manny started creating the Guardians. Supposedly there was a war a long time ago before he existed between demons and spirits over humanity. However, those that had taken part of such battles have ceased to exist or gone into hiding, so there was no help from there. Jack sighed and placed his head on folded arms. "Even if we did know, it wouldn't help with our situation. Death said that Cupid isn't closer to finding the antidote and we have no clue who Pitch is in love with..." North sighed. "Are we so sure Pitch wasn't with someone?" Sandy shrugged his shoulders, not knowing anything really personal about the Nightmare King. Tooth looked downcast. "Maybe we should secretly ask the others? Maybe someone out there has an idea-" Bunny snorted. "And then? We find them and hope that they return the bloody bastard's feelings?" Jack frowned. "It's better than sitting around doing nothing and feeling ashamed of ourselves!'
Bunny hopped on his feet. "I'M NOT ASHAMED!" He got to the Guardian of Fun's face and snarled at him. "We did what we thought was best. He was trying to cover the world in fear and we put a stop to that! What, are you saying you'd rather have let him won?!" Jack narrowed his eyes. "I'm saying there could have been an alternative! Anything is better than this," he shouted, pointing his staff at North diminishing Belief Globe. "I mean, come on! You guys felt what it was like not to be believed in! I knew what it was like for three hundred years, but according to everyone else, Pitch was like that for longer!" He stamped his staff into the ground, frost slowing spreading the area. "Why couldn't he have what we had? What we take for granted?" North had looked away and Tooth was rubbing her right arm. Bunny's ears were laid back as each person remembered the incident fully. Ever since they became Manny's Guardians, they were never without believers. Sure, they had lost a few per year, but quickly gained more as children were born into the world and heard stories about them. That Easter incident was the first time they had felt powerless. After defeating Pitch and inducting Jack into their lot, they had realized what the frost sprite had gone through and were quick to try to make up for those centuries. Thinking back now when Pitch had said he wanted what they had, and they dismissed him, it placed guilt in their heart. So sure in their belief that Pitch being involved with children would be disastrous. They now realized that without the Nightmare King, there would be no children, or adults; they were even losing spirits. North sighed and stood up. "Let's...let's head to bed now and talk about this in morning..." Jack watched as the other three silently nodded and dispersed from the area. The winter sprite himself sighed and went to the room North had gievn him when he became a Guardian. Slamming the door, he dropped his staff and ran to his bed. He fell upon the comforter and buried his face into his pillow. Jack knew that the Guardians were a stubborn lot, but this was taking the cake. It was like they weren't taking blame for this when it was clearly their fault. Granted, Sandy wished he had done something, and North admitted that he did feel ashamed. But no one wanted to be the one to stand up and say what they did was wrong. And it's not even for the children's sake anymore, but for Pitch…as a person. Jack had found out from stories from the Sandman that there were more emotions underneath the Nightmare King besides hatred and snark. He was intelligent, he was once happy and content. He could be lonely but seem to not mind when he had company. Pitch was a spirit that was like Jack, but older and more bitter. That was another thing that bothered him. He always wondered how desperate he would have been if Manny had not decided to call on the Guardians to grab him. At the time, Jack was a little bit bitter, if not angry that he could not be seen. The only thing that kept him going was making the children happy with his snow. In the end, even if they couldn't see Jack Frost, it still warmed his heart that he could bring smile to their faces. 'But how long would that have lasted? How long would it have been before I got really desperate and tried something in order for just one person to see me?' It was always in the back of his mind after the Easter incident that he could have easily been like Pitch (perhaps not to that extreme) and tried something foolish to be believed in. And then where would he be? Jack sighed and looked up, seeing his reflection on the mirror attached to the dresser. Even though he had one set of clothes, North still was thoughtful enough to supply him with some outfits (although there was too much red and green fabric for his taste). Hence the reason one was located in his room. He got up and went to the mirror, his face glowing in the candlelight. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, representing his nights of little to no sleep. He could have asked Sandy for some dreamsand, but decided against it. Running his hand through his hair, he looked down at his clothes, only to doubletake when he saw something at the edge of the dresser. He picked up the envelope and turned it around twice before realizing what it was. It was Pitch's letter. In all the commotion, he had forgotten about the envelope he had found. He had taken it out of his pocket and left it there intending to read it, only to be forgotten when it was his turn to watch over Pitch. He set it back on the wooden surface, staring at it. He wasn't sure if he wanted to read it. It could be Pitch damning everyone to this fate, or a man's final goodbye. Either way, it wouldn't have felt good on his conscience. Still... 'You owe Pitch enough to at least hear his words.' Settling in bed with the letter in his hand, he took a deep breath. 'What am I so worried for? I'm just reading a letter, words on paper...' Jack slowly opened the envelope and reached inside. Two sheets of paper had words on the front and the back, written with elegant curves and decent penmanship. Scanning over it, Jack found where to start and settled in his bed. 'To whom it may concern, If you are finding this letter, then I have finally achieved the sleep that I have desired for so long. You may have heard of me - or not, depending on the stories you have been told. Maybe the name of Pitch Black the Nightmare King has passed into scrutiny. No one to remember the deeds or person of that name. I had fought against such destiny that I had seen happen to countless spirits of this planet. I had existed since the dawn of time, spreading fear and nightmares to the world of man. I had inspired, yet cautioned humans since the creation of fire and the birth of storytelling. I had a place in this world. Now... Now I don't belong here anymore. I wish that… Well, to be honest, I don't know what I desire anymore. All I know is that I want rest. I'm tired. I don't want to exist anymore. But I'm too much of a coward to end my own life, and I dare not ask Death to do it. So this is the best I can do - to sleep, to never dream again. In a way, everyone gets what they want - no more boogeyman, no more nightmares, no disrupting the balance. Just the peace everyone wants. They say that in order for people to be happy, someone must be miserable... I guess that person is me. I remember the time when the Man on the Moon would watch me work. He gave me my name and a purpose - it wasn't glamorous and sometimes it didn't make people happy, but it kept them safe. He never spoke to me, but I was fine with that. He was a silent companion. I didn't mind. I made companions here and there - most did not stay, as befriending a spirit such as myself was not... a positive thing. I... I think only a few people were willing to be around me, and I appreciate those people - even if it was short. Only three spirits gave me their time despite how small it was, and I would later become lonely. I won't name them because they do not deserve to be mocked for engaging in my presence. Just know that I appreciated their company - even it was just business or a small game of chess. One of these spirits... I felt something more than friendship. I felt... I always dreamed of what it was like to have what humans take for granted - this sensation of love. If it is worth the heartache that I feel seeing that person leave me. I understand now that maybe a being of my nature doesn't deserve such affection. And I am... surprisingly alright with this. All I want now is an endless sleep - with peaceful dreams that I have always sought for in my existence. To the person that has found my letter, I thank you for taking the time to read my words. You might discard it or laugh at the poor, loveless boogieman. But in a way, I'm grateful someone was willing to read my story... Sincerely, Pitch Black The Nightmare King Drops of salty water had splash on the delicate paper during his reading. Jack reached up and touched the tear-stains on his cheeks. He had been crying.
Death stepped out of Pitch's room, nodding to Tooth, who was waiting with a few fairies behind her. He noticed her companion missing. "Where's your youngest member," he asked. Toothiana shrugged. She had visited his bedroom only to find it empty. She and her tooth fairies had checked different areas of the workshop where they knew Jack could usually be found. Unfortunately, they were unsuccessful with their search. "I have a few of my fairies looking for him, right now..." she said quietly. Death growled and stomped around her. "I have neither the time nor patience for you Guardians." He turned his masked face to her. "If he shows up or doesn't, I care not," he said. "As long as one of you are watching Pitch." He marched out of the room, leaving a frustrated Tooth who huffed and flew into the room slamming the door behind her. After marching out of the workshop (ignoring the rabbit's yelling and North's questions), Death finally found himself outside. Taking a deep breath, he waved his hand against the wind. A shudder erupted under the snow, and ivory bones began to rise from beneath. They shivered and began to connect to each other, creating a the skeletal form of a stallion with an extra trait. Wings constructed with the same material as the body. It neighed and stamped its hoof onto the ground as Death approached his creature. Petting it and giving soft words to the stallion, he was oblivious to the intruder who was watching the scene. "Wow, that was awesome!' Death froze for a second before turning around sharply and casting his blade against Jack Frost's throat. The Guardian of Fun gulped as he stood still. The weapon didn't cut him, but the edge was lying against his skin. Despite the freezing temperature of the North Pole, Jack felt a bead of sweat run down the side of his face. "Frost," Death started in a deadpan voice, "Shouldn't you be with the Tooth Fairy watching Pitch?" Jack slowly pulled away from Death's weapon, his hands going up in surrender. "I-I was just wondering...um…" Death snorted. "Either speak without stuttering or I will send you away." Jack straighten up and spoke really quickly. "CanIgowithyoutoday?" Death sputtered. "Excuse me?" The Guardian took a deep breath. "Can I go with you toda-" "No," answered Death as he turned back to his stallion. "Oh come on, I've been cooped up here for so long. I need fresh air, to get out more." Death snorted while the stallion copied its master. "Have you forgotten that you and your friends were commanded to stay with Pitch Black? More or less you are on house arrest until Mother Nature sees fit to release you." Jack shrugged. "Uh, yeah I was there," he said kicking the snow pile at his feet. "So can I come?" Death continued to stare at the Guardian. "If I say no, you're going to keep asking me, aren't you?" The Frost boy gave him an innocent smile. "Maybe?" The tall specter growled. "Fine," he answered harshly. "But for once in your life, keep your mouth shut today." Jack pretended to lock his mouth with an invisible key as he smiled cheekily. The stallion snorted and bumped its skull against Death's shoulder. He sighed as if understanding the creature's dilemma. "I know, but if I don't, he'll keep popping up and being the annoying little sprite I have the unfortunate luck of meeting..." "...I can hear you, you know..."