A/N: Thanks for all the reviews… I'm glad you all like the story… This chapter is short but now we get to see what Brenda is thinking and feeling about being home!

Disclaimer: I don't own Beverly Hills 90210…

After letting Kelly go Brenda settled back into the couch and closed her eyes. She let all her thoughts and feelings come to the forefront of her mind. She was tired of trying to hold them back.

If she was honest she would admit that she was afraid. She was afraid that she wouldn't beat this tumor that she had. She was afraid that she wouldn't be around to see her daughter grow up. Most of all she was afraid that if and when she died that her daughter would be alone beside Valerie and Brandon.

She was hurting from the words that Dylan uttered before he left earlier. She still couldn't believe that he had called her a slut. She felt a pain in her heart as she thought about the words he said to her. She knew that he was hurt but she couldn't understand how he could say what he did so easily. She understood it was probably the hurt making him talk like that to her but it didn't mean she could and would forgive him so easily.

She loved Dylan so much that sometimes it caused her physical pain. She hated that she still loved him as much today as she did when she first started dating him over twelve years ago. She wasn't sure if the fact that he had this much power over her was a good thing or not. She just knew that she wanted him by her side as she went through everything she was bound to go through.

She didn't want to die but she knew that if she ended up dying in the end then she at least wanted the chance to have everything the way it was years ago. She wanted Dylan in her life and she wanted to be in his arms. She needed to feel the love he had for her and she wanted him to feel the love she had for him. She knew she didn't want to die without making him understand how much she still loved him and has always loved him. She couldn't and wouldn't do that. She just had to find a way to make him see how much he meant to her and how much he has always meant to her even after everything the two of them have been through together.

As she thought about her daughter she wondered if her daughter would ever fully understand why she has kept her a secret from her father for so long. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe she made a mistake in keeping Deanna from Dylan for so long. She only did it because she thought she was protecting both Deanna and Dylan. She knew that she would have to eventually tell Dylan the real reason why she kept Deanna from him but she wasn't sure if it was safe yet to tell him.

As she was thinking she started to get tired. She fell asleep with a slight smile on her face and with Dylan in her thoughts.

AN: Hi all I'm Randy and I'm Crystal's brother. I edited this chapter for her. I know that my sister has deep feelings and you can tell that with this chapter. I remember watching her write this out the other day and when I asked her why she was crying she said she was crying because she has felt the same way that Brenda does in this chapter. I asked her why she wrote chapters that made her cry and her answer astounded me. She said she writes chapters like this because it helps her get a better grip on her feelings and thoughts. She says that after writing a chapter like this one that she feels better about what life has dealt her. For the reader named Me if you're going to review my sister's stories please watch what you say. I don't like seeing her creeped out or freaked out. I hope that you all like this chapter as much as I did.