My life sucked. It really did.
My whole arm hurt almost as much as it did when I first received the injury but no matter how many pills I took for the pain, it would not simmer down. Several agents reported that I was abusing the medication given to me so eventually, without any proof to back up these reports; I was restricted from using any pain medication.
I flipped out when Manning informed me of this new rule. My tantrum was so bad that at one point, in my blind rage, the only thing that could hold me back from ripping Manning's throat out was Hellboy's strong arms. I faintly remembered his arms wrapped tightly around my waist as I tried to claw at Manning. I blacked out a few minutes later. The pain had been that bad.
Thankfully, Abe was willing to break the rules for me. He had to take me back to the medical bay several times already so that he could get me some really strong painkillers. I'm pretty sure a few of them weren't even legal in America. Manning didn't need to know.
I wanted the use of my arm back more than I'd ever wanted anything before.
There were a few nights when I cried myself to sleep because the thought of being weak and helpless was truly heartbreaking to me. I hated feeling this way. This wasn't supposed to be me and now I was dependent on other people to help with some of the simplest tasks. Plenty of people would have helped too. That is, they would have if I had asked them too, but I didn't. My pride wouldn't allow me to reach out to anyone for help.
So I suffered in silence, hiding every wince and muffling every cry. People often asked if I was alright and I would lie and tell them that I was. Hellboy asked this question the most and he never believed my lie. He'd go running off to tell Abe that I was hurting again and needed medication.
I didn't see him very often and I was grateful that he never mentioned the doll I had of him. I questioned why I still had the stupid thing. Was it even possible for me to embarrass myself more than I already had? Yes, I could blush every time the idiot showed up in the kitchen and offered to help me make my breakfast.
I only saw Caleb once before he disappeared from my life. I met the woman who his fiancé. She was cute and kind but, damn, did she have a mouth on her. She threw a lot of harsh words at Caleb and me. I apologized to her profusely and thanked Caleb for helping me in the same fashion. He waved me off and said that he simply gained a great story to share with his drinking buddies. His fiancé wasn't too happy to hear that but I could see that, despite all of this trouble, she still loved him.
Then they were gone. Manning assured me that they would be safe and well looked after. That was that.
Of course, Manning had to ruin the moment by assigning me a massive stack of paperwork right there on the spot. Abe didn't make things better when he mentioned that the writing could be good for my recovery. It was "therapeutic" or something. (Therapeutic, my ass) All I succeeded in doing was hurting my hand and arm more.
Life was just not going well for me and I lived for those few moments when I could spend time with Hellboy and relax.
Her legs were swinging back and forth as she sat on the edge of my pickup-truck bed. I was reclined in an armchair across the room, tossing a toy basketball back and forth in my hands.
"You should just tell Manning off." I said as chucked the basketball at her. It landed in a small empty trashcan seated beside the kid. She pulled the little basketball out with her left hand and threw it back to me. I saw her roll her eyes at me.
"Professor said he has the right to punish me if he wants. I deserve it." She replied in a monotone voice. She sounded exhausted. I laughed.
"Damn right you deserved it and now you look like crap." I said, still laughing. She scowled at me.
She had been out of the medical bay for a couple weeks now. Her arm had to stay in a tight brace that held her arm to her chest and didn't allow her to move anything but her hand. She was down to just using band-aids for the remaining cuts and most of her bruises were a faint yellow color.
"Well I'm sorry that I can't just wake up and walk away from a life-threatening situation like you can." She muttered. I could tell she wasn't happy with the smirk on my face.
"At least I don't have to worry about you for I while." I said, throwing the basketball again. I made the shot.
I was referring to her probation. She couldn't leave the BPRD premises without permission for 4 more months and even after that she still wasn't aloud out on missions because of the injuries. She was on office duty and that sucked. She returned the basket ball with a quick toss. I caught it easily.
"Yeah it's just going to be you and Abe for a while." She replied. My aim was off on my next throw. The ball landed in my bed, too far away for Rai to reach without moving. She stared at it, considering if she should go get it. She seemed to decide that it wasn't worth it. Slowly she turned back to me, looking uncertain.
"Are you ok?" She asked. I sat up in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees. "Yeah. I'm fine." I mumbled. Her statement had struck me hard. It was only going to me and Abe. Liz was gone.
Rai had asked the same question several times over the past couple of weeks. I hadn't talked about it with anyone. Almost everybody was pretending that nothing happened. They all went about their lives acting like they never knew a girl name Liz Sherman.
It had been about a month since Liz left. I missed her but I could hardly focus on that because my mind kept replaying her words. Someone right in front of you.
I looked up at Rai's face. Her face told me that she was worried about me. I sighed heavily.
"Don't worry about it. Nothing's wrong." It was a lie but I wasn't about to talk about my inner thoughts now. I pulled myself out of my chair and crossed the room. She smiled at me as I sat down on the edge of my bed next to her. The pickup-truck dipped underneath my weight.
"You know, she never liked doing stuff like this." I said. Rai raised an eyebrow at me, not sure who I was talking about. "She wasn't into sitting around doing nothing. She was always really active, always wanting to do something or go somewhere rather than sit and toss basketballs across a room. Plus, she was a lousy shot." Rai realized who I was referring to and laughed softly. "You better not ever let her hear that. She would roast you." She said. I rolled my eyes at her but I couldn't help but laughed too.
"Fire proof, remember." I replied. She laughed again.
"Right, whatever." She said. I decided in that instant that I loved the sound of Rai's laugh. It didn't mean anything I just enjoyed the sound and the thought of her being happy. I opened my mouth to say something to keep her laughing but a shrill siren cut me off.
"I guess that's my cue." I sighed, disappointed that the moment with Rai was over. Rai's laughter died down and she pouted. I was running off to do field work and that meant she had to return to office work.
"Have fun." She grumbled. I replied with a short laugh. "Just be careful out there, ok?" She said. Her voice was soft and she looked concerned as she stared up at me. I knew she was being serious so I held back a confident smirk and gave her a sincere smile instead.
"You got it, kid." I replied. She rolled her eyes at me. We both hopped off the end of my bed and navigated our way through my messy room to the door. Then I was off to save the world while she trudged down the hall cursing it.