Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD.

A/N: Okay here is Part 2. Now I just need to get up the next chapter of 'Come home, Jay' and then post my last idea from this episode... where Jay tells Abby about Erin and goes home to seek forgiveness.

Then I think I'm done... until we see next week lol I could come up with other alternatives but I really want to go back to focusing on my other stories...

Figure it out with me – Part 2

We are laying in each other's embrace on the bed, Jay's hand running through my hair.

"I looked something up while you were in the shower." He tells me suddenly.

"Hmmm." I reply sleepily.

"If you're married in the state of Nevada you can apply for annulment at any time, it won't matter we have been married eight years. If Abby agrees, should be easy enough. If not, the court can decide. But given it was twenty four hours and she never signed the papers, I'm sure it will be okay."

"Really?" I look up hopeful.

"Yeah. No need for a divorce this way."

"And you're not just doing it for me?" My eyes are searching his.

"No, for me too."

"Good." I lean up and press our lips together.

"Wait, why wouldn't she agree?"

"When I asked for the papers last night she admitted she doesn't have them, that she isn't getting married. She told me she wishes she said I love you back then… I guess she must have been carrying around feelings from when we served together. I wasn't aware of them… she wishes we could have fixed it back then."

"Are you fucking kidding?" I growl, anger consuming me.

"No… I told her that she deserved good things but I wasn't going to be the one to give them to her."

"She didn't file for divorce after you signed, she waits eight years and drops back in your life with some BS story and then tries to ply you with alcohol to fall back into your arms. Ever think maybe she wants your emotional baggage to resurface and the cycle will repeat?"

"She's not vindictive Erin."

"Well from where I'm sitting she's no angel either."

"Erin…"

"Sorry…" He places a kiss to my forehead.

"What's your plan here?" I finally ask.

"In regards?"

"Working through everything… I'm here for you and I'll do what you need. But I think you need to see someone."

"I know." His reply is quiet.

"I can speak with Doctor Charles for you if you like? Or would you prefer to see someone you don't know?"

"Doctor Charles seems like a good choice."

"Okay, I'll set it up. But just know… that I'm here for you. Anytime of the day or night Jay, if you need to talk I can handle it. If you wake from a nightmare, reach out for me. Even if you just want me to be with you while you calm down and drift back off." My head is tilted back so he can see the seriousness in my eyes.

"Thank you." He whispers as he attaches our lips softly.

"I want to share with you Erin, but it's hard. Something is stopping me."

"Do you remember when you told me that you'd like to think you could handle everything I've done?"

"Yeah."

"Well you were right. You could… and I'm better off for sharing my baggage. I want that for you too."

Jay's silent as he searches my eyes before he nods gently.

"I think I struggled the most with having to face the families… knowing their loved ones came back in a coffin. When I was here between tours I felt guilty, like men and women were dying over there and I was just sitting here. I couldn't wait to go back… I ignored all the signs of PTSD. The last tour though, I made a wrong call… trusted the wrong person and one of the men in my unit suffered the consequences. We went after the terrorist responsible, only thinking of revenge and not caring what got in our way. We tracked him down, him and his men had guns so we opened fire. When we cleared the building…." My eyes are full of tears as I watch Jay struggle with his story, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"We found a mother and daughter in the next room, some stray bullets went through the wall and they were bleeding out." Sobs fall from his lips as I cup his cheek with my hand.

"We killed them, I killed them." He can barely speak through his sobs and I lean my forehead against his wet cheek pulling him closer.

"I'm sorry Jay, I can't imagine the pain you feel… let me take some it from you." He cries harder and tears slip down my own cheeks mixing with his.

"You're a good man Jay. It's not your fault."

My eyes open slowly, greeted with darkness as I reach out to pull Jay closer.

I frown when I'm met with empty sheets, my eyes flicker around the room before landing on him sitting in a chair near the wall.

"Jay." I whisper noticing his eyes are on me.

I climb from the bed and walk over to him, sitting on his lap and sighing as he pulls me into his embrace.

"What are you doing up?" I run my hands through his hair.

"Nightmare." He whispers and I nod softly.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I wanted to watch you sleep. It helps… the peaceful look on your face and the steady rise and fall of your chest. It reminds me I have you… that I have something good."

"Okay." I kiss his forehead.

"You know I never thought I deserved to find someone to love." He tells me quietly and I wait and listen.

"But then I met you and no matter the guilt I felt, I couldn't stay away. We were just meant to be… it worked. It was natural…"

"Why did you feel you didn't deserve love?" I ask quietly, knowing I've overcome similar sentiments.

"Because so many didn't come home to the ones they love. I failed them."

"You can't save everyone Jay, they wouldn't have wanted you feeling that way." I place a kiss in his hair.

"Yeah." He nods against me, his scruff rubbing along my neck.

His lips press down on my neck as he turns me around, before joining our lips.

The kiss starts off slow, his tongue finally slipping into my mouth and his hand tangling in my hair.

"Jay." I whisper softly, unsure if we should be doing this.

"I want this Erin. I need this." I search his blue eyes before nodding softly, also craving the intimacy.

He moves us to the bed, my back dropping softly onto the mattress and his body hovering over mine.

Jay moves his lips back to mine as his hand slides up my shirt and finds my breast.

I moan into his mouth as he moves a leg to rest against my aching pussy.

He pulls away to slide my shirt off, his lips then trailing down my neck all the way down to my left breast.

My hips jerk at the sensation, his other hand palming my other breast.

I grasp his shirt and pull it over his head, bringing his lips back to mine as I slip his boxers off and wrap my hand around his length.

He sighs in my mouth as I pump it a few times, before he pulls away to slip my shorts and panties off.

His forehead is leaning against mine as he slides into me, joining out bodies.

He's still for a moment as he looks down into my eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too." I whisper back as he begins moving against me, his thrusts are hurried as his lips find mine.

My tongue slips into his mouth with a moan as he moves faster, my orgasm quickly building.

I run my hands over his muscled back, desperate to feel him closer and enjoying the feel of our naked chests pressed together.

Jay's rocking against me with his hands roaming my body making me shiver.

My hand finds his hair as I reach my orgasm, his penis still pumping in and out until he finds his own release.

When our breathing calms Jay rolls to the side and pulls me into his embrace, our naked bodies being comforted by the others body heat.

"Thank you for not letting me go." He whispers quietly.

"You'll always have me."

A/N: Leave a review :) Do you guys have a favorite spin from the episode 4x17? I think I've covered a few different angles now.

:)