If there were ever a time for a grim interruption-

"Kins?"

Oh, perfect.

Loki vanished from sight halfway through his reaction away from the door. Only half a moment later Natasha poked her head in the door, locating me with that look she reserved for business purposes. Mentally I had to give him points for that amazing reflex check he just aced. Oh, and prepare myself for the several lie and persuade checks that I was about to make. Couldn't I just borrow Loki's stats on this one?

"Have you seen Loki?" she asked, professionally keeping her mention of his name less than vitriolic. I almost responded too quickly because I knew what she was asking before she opened her mouth.

"Mm-mm," I replied automatically, furrowing my brows. I almost stopped myself from begging the question, but then I reasoned that it was okay because I'd already given a (hopefully) believable answer. "Why? I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Are you okay?" she inquired in a surprising show of human concern. She seemed like she had been about to say something else, but was now taking in my weeping countenance with only benevolent worry. Or at least, that's all I could find. I didn't want to lie to her.

"Yeah," I replied, rubbing my eyes with my sweater sleeve as I tried to decide what I could and couldn't tell her. "It's just...agh, Loki again. First he scares me half to death with his freaky werewolf reaction, and now this? I thought he was okay finally, that we'd actually made progress and he was really turning around. Or at least, not being evil anymore. He told me...he's just...ugh! Why do I try to be friends with everyone?"

"Hey," She bent to my level and reached out to put a hand on my shoulder, giving me what I honestly thought was her most honest smile. I began to tear up again. "For what it's worth, I sure appreciate the effort."

She stood up straight again and beckoned with a flick of her head, her smile only fading slightly.

"C'mon, let's go find him."

I bit my lip and looked down, letting my hat obscure my features.

"I...I'm sorry, but I can't," I apologized, looking away in shame. "I just...I don't think I could face him right now. After what he just did, I can't...ah, it would just make it worse. Um...yeah, it's not a good idea...for me, at least. I just need some downtime. You guys can probably handle him, if you find him. Good luck, though."

There was a long pause. My heart stopped with time.

"It's okay," she said finally. I didn't dare look up at her yet. "I understand. Sometimes I forget that you're new to the whole Avengers thing."

"Yeah," I half-laughed back. "I forgot sometimes, too. Almost got me killed. It's never a good thing when I pretend to be cool."

Then I looked up at her. Her smile still looked honest, but that could have meant anything. She looked almost confused. Then she shook her head at me.

"You don't have to pretend."

I blushed and pulled my hat down bashfully over my eyes. Yet when I sensed her moving away I felt compelled to stop her with an ardent plea.

"Can I have a hug?"

You didn't have to be Black Widow to be able to tell that she didn't want to.

For a long time she stood there, half in the door and half out, torn between her job-related instinct and her budding friendship with me. She bit her lip, looking down and away, eyes racing with thought. Finally she took a breath, and she was still for a moment. Then she nodded.

By the time she turned towards me I was already there. When I hugged her she at first tensed up, just like Loki did, unaccustomed to such benign physical interaction. But she warmed up soon after, revealing a strength I previously hadn't known in her. For some reason when she hugged me back she reminded me of my mom. A fresh wave of tears clouded my eyes, my throat once again acquiring a sense of claustrophobia. I'd forgotten how long it had been since I'd seen any of them, my old friends, my family. If they missed me half as much as I missed them….

She pulled back, giving me another smile and shoulder pat when she saw me crying again. I gave her a strained smile and a nod, speech no longer an option. Then she left.

The room was silent. But I hadn't forgotten. I felt the golden shimmer of his fading illusion through closed eyelids.

"That was the best lying you've ever done," murmured Loki in awe. I opened my eyes again, looking out the door after her. The room was dark, but outside the hall lights glowed their pristine white. I wanted to follow her.

"Thank you for staying." he said, stepping closer to me. I wiped my tears on my sleeve and reached to close the door and turn the lights on. Then I turned towards him-I was as ready as I would ever be.

"What do you need?" I asked. He was surprisingly forthright, considering himself, his request, and my subsequent reaction.

"I need you to come with me." he requested frankly. About then I gave him the most on-point 'Are You Freaking Kidding Me?' face I have ever given to date.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" I demanded, my temper flaring. His only reply was a face of indifference coupled with raised eyebrows, which only served to stoke my indignation further. "Okay, I'm sorry, but did you analyze what just came out of your mouth? Because it's complete gibberish. What alien changeling monstrosity are you and what have you done with Loki?! The real Loki is the smart one, and I'm not, which is why I stay home and be my dumb awkward self and live my dumb awkward life which I have! I guess you wouldn't know because apparently I'm the only friend you have, which is equally if not more so ridonkulous than your harebrained scheme of dragging me along for the ride. There's no way I'm the only friend you have in the whole stinkin' nine realms. On the ship, maybe, but that's kind of your own fault and completely irrelevant. You're a freaking Asgardian! You've got to have friends that are way more powerful or useful or cool, at the very least acquaintances. Why the merry kriff do you need me?"

"Once again you're absolutely right," he responded coolly, inclining his head at me and my wrathful expression with infuriating calm. "I have friends, acquaintances and assorted other contacts that are far more impressive than you…"

"See?!" I interjected. His eyebrows went up and he smiled.

"...at first glance." he finished.

"Ugh!"

"You underestimate yourself," he told me ominously, a spark flashing for a moment in those eyes of infinite green. I shivered. "which is partially what I'm counting on. If you do that, and you're so clever, what's to keep the enemy safe from the same assumption? You do have power, and you are something impressive, because you possess something that nobody else I know has. Something I need."

"Wh...what are you talking about?" I questioned pensively. He had been beginning to scare me with the direness of his speech, but at my query he softened a little, back to the all-too-human Loki I knew.

"Kinners, you're…" He paused and furrowed his brows, looking away and up into his eyebrows as if rethinking what to say. With a small sigh he looked back at me, and he looked almost sad again. "I need you to come with me because I don't trust myself. As I said before, I only recently came back to the light, and I'm...I'm just not sure of myself anymore. But you're good. I can't explain it, because I've never seen this in anyone before, you just are. There's no one like you, and I need...I need you to keep me from falling away again, because if I did, I..."

We looked each other in the eye with cataclysmic timing.

"I don't think I could come back."

And I thought I'd finished crying for the night.

I looked down again, noting with mild interest the explosion of a crystalline tear on the carpet far below. This time Loki didn't react, as if afraid to further upset the balance when he couldn't predict his actions' consequences. His silence was once more abhorrent. I took a shaky breath and looked back up at him, praying that I sounded stronger than I thought I did when I told him,

"I'll come."

Now I was leaving my new ones.