I woke up muddily. My brain and ears felt like they were filled with oppressive foam, weighing my thinking down. I was completely surrounded by darkness. My head hurt so badly that even the slightest movement jolted it and made my ears ring. I looked around slowly, as not to agitate it. Straining my eyes into the darkness I realized it was just so dark that they wouldn't adjust. I gave up on that and closed my eyes, my mind was a battle ground. I wasn't sure of anything. I was sure of what I wanted but my own beliefs comingled with those that were not mine, making me extremely confused. I couldn't tell whose beliefs were whose. I could feel that my wrists and legs were tied down. It felt like the same chair I was I when… something happened. My memories were shattered, I could remember some things others were cracks or missing pieces. That thing that they used on me, wasn't it supposed to take away everything? I started sorting through various phrases or words that seemed important.

I work for Shield.

I am friends with someone called Loki.

I don't want to be where I am.

I looked at where the bindings on my wrists would've been.

A noise creaked and a ray of light shot across the wall in front of me. Just that light made my head pound. Bucky, I remembered-

The ray of light disappeared and was replaced by a bright one in my face instead. The person I recognized as Bucky stood in front of me, his face tight with concern or anguish, or both.

"Who am I?" He asked, his voice barely audible. My head still pounded. Too much sound, too much sight.

I shook my head.

"Who am I?!" He screamed. "I know that you know."

I shook my head. "They took it, I don't know anymore." Talking felt like rubbing sandpaper up and down the inside of my throat.

He grabbed the sides of my head, clenching my hair in his hands.

"I have to know!" His voice choked up, I saw tears in his eyes. "I need to know so I can make a decision. An important one."

I bit my lip. I could feel his sadness, confusion.

"I don't know!" My eyes filled up with tears.

I was going through the same thing he was.

"You knew, you have to tell me who I am. I need to know."

We were both actively crying by now.

"I wish I could tell you but I don't know. I don't even know who I am."

He let go of my hair and faced the wall, both arms braced against it.

"I remember that you have a man who cares deeply for you."

He turned back quickly.

"Steve?"

"I don't know but if his name comes to your head it's probably him."

Bucky nodded. He leaned down.

"I think I know what I have to do now. I will be back for you soon, then you can leave. I'll get you out."

Out of where I didn't know. What I did know was that Bucky had just done something extraordinary so as he left, I smiled. The returning of my past seemed like the best thing that could happen to me and maybe Bucky getting it out would do that.

Later, I didn't know how much later, time was something I couldn't figure out. Not at that moment. A few people came in, muttering fervently about something. I looked as they fiddled with the thing behind me. One came in front of me.

"Cressida." He said.

I didn't acknowledge, who's Cressida?

"Cressida." He insisted.

I focused my eyes on him but I still didn't acknowledge. He shook his head, he was extremely frustrated.

"What happened!" He demanded. "What went wrong with the selective termination of memories? This is not what should've happened. She shouldn't have been reduced to this."

One of the assistants shook their head.

"We don't know, sir It should've affected her in the exact same way The Soldier was. Instead it just did this."

The one in front of me paced back and forth. I cleared my throat.

"Who am I?" I asked. "I should know but I don't."

He looked at me.

"Cressida, something terrible has gone wrong. Things that shouldn't have happened have happened. Your memory has been fragmented. Something might restore your mind but," He shook his head. "We'll have to try the machine again."

I didn't know what he meant but I nodded.

"Does that mean I can leave soon?" I asked hopefully.

"No you will be staying here."

I don't think I liked this man before I was broken. They put a mouth guard in. They fooled around with the machine before the chair fell back and the metal clamped over me again, again? Yes this had happened to me before. Odd tingling danced on my skin. They flipped on a switch and I couldn't…

There isn't really a way to describe it. Different from the first time but a whole new level of pain. My bones screeched, my head pounded. Not electron pain but blunt, unseasoned pain. It ripped through my body and my mind. Taking away all of my ability to think, to move, to act. What could I do except scream?

The black pain blocked out my sight as my body contorted and contracted. It lasted for what seemed like forever but when it finally stopped I was covered in sweat. I struggled to breath. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest in a way that made it hurt. The man in front of me shook his head. I laid my own against the headrest and closed my eyes.

"It might have worked. Open your eyes Cressida."

I didn't know who he was speaking to, but I opened my eyes. We made direct eye contact.

"Who are you?" He asked.

I shook my head slowly.

"I don't know." I answered.

He shook his head.

"This shouldn't have happened… THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED!" He placed fervently in front of me. "That's it, the soldier needs our help more than she does right now. Sedater her until we need her again."

I crinkled my forehead.

"Why are you doing that? Can't I stay awake? How will you keep me sedated for that long?"

Please don't be what I think, please don't be what I remember.

"We'll be putting you in a sort of stasis. Kriostasis to be specific. You'll be frozen but in a way which will preserve your current age. The same technique used on our soldier."

"Why? Why do you need to do this to me?"

"Because we don't have time to fix your memory right now. You won't be in it long, just until we know what's wrong."

I bit my lip and shook my head.

"We'll need a couple of days to prepare the chamber. You will stay in here."

"No!" I exclaimed. "This isn't right."

He looked at me for a moment before walking out.

"Sedate her."

I shook my head.

"No, no stop please, I can be useful. I can do something. Just please don't I don't want to be ripped out of my own time." I didn't know what I was saying but the words kept tumbling out of my mouth. "Why do I have to go through this? I've never done anything wrong. Please let me go, let me go!"

The needle plunged into my arm and I felt the drugs washing through my system. My brain was quickly weighed down and I lost my muscle control. I resisted as long as I could until the darkness overtook me and I was absorbed into it.