EPILOGUE

WARNING: Be prepared for angst.

[3 YEARS LATER]

BOO KI'S POV:

"Wake up, sweetheart." I hear WooBin whisper in my ear.

"Why?" I moan and hear him chuckle.

"Because we have a plane to catch, remember?"

I feel him get off the bed and bury my face deeper in the pillow. Just the thought of being on a plane makes me nauseous but I know I have to get up and act like everything is fine.

I haven't had the heart to tell WooBin that I'm pregnant because after two miscarriages I don't want to disappoint him.

He's talked about adoption and I've been open to the idea but I really want at least one child of our own. I want him or her to have their father's eyes and courage. I want to experience what it's like to carry a child and feel it grow.

Saia's children are my godchildren and I adore them but I want to be a mother. I want to give my child the love and devotion I never received from my parents.

The miscarriages were hard on me but I think they were even harder on WooBin because not only did he mourn our loss but he also worried about my safety.

I'm hoping that this pregnancy is different. I'm hoping that I will carry our child to full term. But until I know for sure, I'm still too scared to tell WooBin.

At almost four months into this pregnancy, I've already carried this child longer than the others and he's noticed the weight gain but I've played it off as eating more, which he's also noticed. He hasn't complained once about it. If anything, he's complimented me on it.

"I know you are tired, babe but you can sleep on the plane." WooBin tells me and pulls me up into a sitting position on the bed.

"Okay." I sigh and he looks over me with a concerned eye.

"How are you feeling?" He murmurs and kisses my forehead. "You look pale and exhausted. Are you having nightmares again?"

Even now, years later, the nightmares haunt me. I've put my past and my family behind me but that doesn't make the dreams go away. And with this pregnancy the dreams have been getting more vivid. I almost don't want to close my eyes. If it wasn't for the baby, I probably wouldn't.

"I'm okay. I'll visit JiHoo at the hospital when we get back to Seoul." I try to soothe him and he nods.

"I think that's a good idea."

I hope that once I see JiHoo he can help me determine if it's safe to tell WooBin.

I'm tired and sluggish as we make our way to the plane. I can feel WooBin watching me carefully. He learned early on in our marriage that I hate it when he hovers over me. But that doesn't lesson his concern when he knows something is wrong.

Once we are on our private jet and take off, I curl up against his chest and his arms wrap around me in a comforting embrace.

(^_^)

"I'm so happy you're home." Saia says as she hugs me. "I've missed you so much."

I blink back my tears and embrace my best friend tightly. My emotions are already all over the place with this pregnancy. I don't want to alarm her by crying.

"How are you?" She gives me a meaningful smile and I nod my head.

"I'm doing okay. Just…nervous." I murmur. Saia is my best friend so of course I told her when I found out but she's the only one that knows so far.

"I know Ki-yah. But don't worry okay? JiHoo will take good care of you both." She reassures me.

"Should we go know?" I ask her. "I don't think I can wait till tomorrow."

"Sure! We can go now if you want."

I turn to WooBin and see him talking quietly with a few of his men.

"WooBin-ah. I'm leaving with Saia for a bit. I'll see you at home." I tell him.

He leaves his men to come to me, a concerned look on his face.

"Shouldn't you be resting instead?" He asks but I shake my head.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry. I want to spend time with Sai."

He can see I'm putting my foot down and reluctantly backs down. I know he means well but his over-protectiveness is still a sore spot between us. He knows I can take care of myself but he still tries to do it for me.

"Just…be careful. Okay?" He says and pulls me into a hug.

"Okay Woo Bin-ah." I say with a playful roll of my eyes as I pull away. "Let's go Sai before my man makes me promise to text him every 15 minutes."

"Yah! I only did that once! I'm never going to live that down am I?" He asks incredulously.

I laugh and get into Saia's car. Teasing my husband always brightens my day.

It doesn't take very long to reach JiHoo's office and its strange seeing the surprise on his face when he sees me. His once stoic appearance has grown softer and more readable since he became a father.

"BooKi? What are you doing here at the hospital?" He asks as he approaches me. "Are you okay?"

"JiHoo-ah, we need you to examine BooKi." Saia says from behind me.

"Okay. But why? It would help if I knew what's wrong."

"I'm pregnant." I blurt out. "I need to know how the baby is doing and if everything is okay."

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" JiHoo smiles affectionately at me.

"Because I didn't want to get everyone's hopes up. You already know how many miscarriages I've had."

"BooKi-ya…WooBin doesn't know?"

I shake my head, unable to meet his eyes.

"Why are you keeping this from him? I thought you were done with keeping secrets."

"I was! I swear! I just…I just am so scared of telling him only to lose another child and go through the grief all over again. I can't do that to him again JiHoo!" I cry.

Saia wraps her arms around me and gives JiHoo a dirty look.

"Don't upset her." She hisses and he throws his hands up in surrender. He knows all too well the mood swings of a pregnant woman.

"I wasn't trying to upset her. Let's just do the examination, okay?"

After doing some normal tests like blood pressure, temperature, and all of that, JiHoo decides to do an ultrasound.

Hearing my baby's heartbeat for the first time makes reality sink in. This is really happening. I'm really pregnant and my baby is really growing inside of me.

"You have a very healthy baby, BooKi." JiHoo gently says. "You are past the first trimester and are doing really well. It's time for you to tell him. Congratulations. You're really having a baby."

"Oh my god, Se!" I gasp and reach for her hand.

"I'm so happy for you, Ki!" She smiles and gives me a hug.

(^_^)

Walking through the front door of my house is a relief. It's been too long since I've been home.

"There you are!" WooBin asks as he strides towards me. Before I can say anything he lifts me off the ground in a playful hug and I squeal in delight. It's been a long time since he's done anything like this with me.

"I missed you." He murmurs as he pecks me on the lips.

"I wasn't even gone for very long." I chuckle.

"Did you have a good time with Saia?"

"Yes and I have some news for you."

He tilts his head curiously and I smile. I take his hand and lead him towards his office. I want him to be sitting down when I tell him.

I push him to sit in his chair behind his desk and sit on his lap. He grins wickedly as he wraps his arms around my waist and captures my lips in a hungry kiss. I respond to my husband eagerly for a moment but when I feel his hands start to wander and realize his intentions, I break the kiss.

He groans in displeasure and tries to pull me back in for another kiss but I place my hands on his chest to stop him. Not to be dissuaded, he plants kisses along my jaw.

"WooBin-ah…please stop. I have something to say."

"I'm listening." He murmurs as he nibbles on my ear.

"I'm pregnant." I blurt out and he stiffens.

He jerks his head back to look at me and stares at me with wide, unfocused eyes.

"Y-you're pregnant?" He murmurs in a daze.

"Yes WooBin-ah. You're finally going to be a father."

I watch my beloved as my words slowly register in his shocked brain. But what he does next shocks me even more.

"Are you sure this is okay? Baby I want us to be parents but not if it's a danger to you in any way-"

"This pregnancy isn't like the other ones I've had. I'm already safely in my 2nd trimester which is already farther along than I was with any of the others. JIHoo will keep a close eye on me and I'll be careful. Nothing is going to happen to me or the baby this time."

WooBin gives me a hurt look.

"You're already that far along and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want to get your hopes up." I mumble uncomfortably.

WooBin suddenly stands up and sets me on my feet. Once he's sure I can stand on my own, he lets go of me and moves away towards the window. I watch him worriedly as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

"So you are determined to carry our child no matter what the risks then? Why can't we just fucking adopt? There are so many children that need homes and I would be more than happy to take them in yet you insist on putting yourself in danger!"

"Are you seriously mad that I'm pregnant right now? Please tell me that this is some kind of twisted joke because I can't believe you are actually upset about this."

"I don't know what to think right now. I'm just…angry and…scared… I don't know if I can go through this only for something to happen to you…or the baby again."

I feel…selfish. I knew that the miscarriages affected him too but I didn't realize just how deeply. And I also feel hurt.

"I need your support on this WooBin-ah."

He turns to look at me with a destroyed expression on his face and my heart plummets.

"I…I…" He looks around his office in a panic before bolting out of the room.

Tears stream down my face as I fall to my knees on the floor.

I never expected this reaction from him and it hurts.

I don't blame him though. How can I?

(^_^)

Weeks pass with WooBin avoiding me. It's not really that hard for him to do since I spend most of my time at the restaurant I opened up last year.

I take it easy at work per doctor's orders but Saia drops by at some point everyday to check on me. She even brings her kids occasionally to help cheer me up.

I asked her what I should do about WooBin but all she told me was to give him time.

"He loves you." She says. "He'll come around but he needs to deal with his grief and fear first."

I understand and agree with her. But I need my husband. I want him there for the doctor's visits and I want him there as my belly gets larger. Right now my baby bump is small but obvious on my thin frame. Eventually I will be as big as a house and I'm going to need someone to help me when I can't bend over anymore.

As more time goes by I get strange cravings like any pregnant woman does. I'm disappointed though that WooBin is still avoiding me.

I need him. Our growing child needs him.

Yet he won't look at me or touch me. It's like he's already grieving for something and I don't even understand why. Yet at the same time I understand that he's scared. WooBin is the bravest and strongest man I have ever known but even he has weaknesses.

My belly gets larger and I finally agree to find out what the sex of the baby is. I wanted to wait until WooBin was with me but…I find out that I'm carrying a boy. I want to tell WooBin but he's hardly ever home.

JiHoo orders me to stay off my feet as much as possible. It's hard for someone as active as me but I do it for my son.

I'm sitting on the couch one day, six months pregnant, and I start crying out of the blue. I know it's partly hormones but it's also partly loneliness. I have Saia, GaEul, and JiHoo but none of them can fill in for WooBin.

I'm depressed and even though I know it's not good for the baby to be like this, I can't help it.

Suddenly, I feel a warm hand on my knee and I jump as I look up to see WooBin kneeling in front of me.

"I'm sorry." He sadly murmurs.

"What?" I ask in confusion.

"I've left you all alone when you've needed me most. I'm sorry." He reaches up and tenderly brushes my tears away with his fingers. "I've been such a coward but not anymore. I promise I'll make it up to you and the baby, Ki."

I grip his arms tightly with my hands in desperation. I crave his warmth and strength like a drug. He seems to understand as he sits beside me and pulls me into a hug.

For the first time in so long I feel comfort and I feel safe.

I smile into his shoulder when one of his hands hesitantly touches my belly and I cover it with my own, guiding his hand to a spot where he can feel our son move.

WooBin's eyes widen in surprise and then he places a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Do you already know what it's going to be?" He asks.

I pull away to smile up at him.

"We are having a boy, WooBin-ah."

(^_^)

Some may ask me what the greatest part of my life is.

There are times when I will say that my best friend Saia is the best part. She has saved me not only from myself but from my life as well.

Other times I will say that it is my husband, Song WooBin. Thanks to him, I always have a reason to smile or to laugh. He has brought so much joy in my life.

But today…at this very moment…the greatest part of my life is the infant in my arms.

After years of wondering if I would even be able to get pregnant, WooBin and I can finally welcome our son to the world.

The 12 hours of painful labor were worth it. I wouldn't trade anything for this precious angel.

"He's so beautiful. YOU are beautiful. I love you both so much." WooBin whispers in my ear as he sits beside me on the hospital bed.

We are finally alone with our son for the first time. This moment is so perfect. I will never forget it as long as I live.

"I love you too, WooBin-ah."

I'm not worried about what kind of mother I'll be because I know that my son will always know how much I love him. He will always have my support and care. Both his father and I will always protect him.

We will teach him to be a strong and kind man. He will have his extended family in the F4 and their families to always be there for him.

"You are very lucky little man." I whisper to him and the man beside me chuckles.

"Luck has nothing to do with it. He's a Song after all."

I glare at him and give him a menacing smile.

"He's also a Meng, WooBin."

"…Well at least we know our son will be able to take care of himself."

"Did you hear your daddy, WooHyun? I think he's nervous you will be able to kick his ass like your mommy." I conspiratorially whisper.

"Yah!"

It's always fun to tease my husband and that will never change.

A/N: I know it's been forever and I'm sorry about that. I tried to write an Epilogue for the F4 but I just couldn't come up with any good ideas. This chapter has been sitting around for awhile and I decided to just go ahead and publish it. I hope you liked it. Thank you to everyone who read, upvoted, commented, and gave both of these stories so much love and support. 3