Kitty announced her intention on the next day, and to her dismay, her father's response was, "Excellent. I have been thinking of visiting Pemberley myself; you can come with me."
She did not know what to say. Her father, travel? And with her? She wanted nothing more than to get away from him, and the rest of the family, not to have him come be disapproving over everything she did in Derbyshire as well as in Hertfordshire!
Mr. Bennet did not require an answer; he chuckled and patted her hand. "I did not imagine that you would be especially well pleased with the arrangement, but nevertheless, I am going. I have already written to Lizzy to tell her that I would be sending you to her, and I do not imagine that she will mind if I come along."
In vain did Kitty endeavor to dissuade him. His mind was quite made up; he hadn't seen his favorite daughter since her wedding; he was assured of intelligent conversation at Pemberley; he had exhausted his own library and wished to enjoy Mr. Darcy's—nothing she put forth was unanswerable. She was at length obliged to resign herself to the inevitable and submit to his going.
It was a little more than a week later that they left for Pemberley. The morning of their departure was grey and cold for May, and Kitty could not help wondering whether she had really made the right choice. Her mother's delight and her sister's gloating were unbearable, it was true, but would she really be any happier surrounded by people who were richer, prettier, and happier than she was?
Mr. Bennet was silent through their preparations to leave, which did not increase her hopes for an enjoyable journey, and Mrs. Bennet fluttered nervously about them both, worrying about every possible eventuality which might prevent their safe arrival at Pemberley. By the time they actually managed to climb in the carriage, Kitty was convinced that she would not be able to enjoy herself any more at her second eldest sister's house than she would at Netherfield. She wondered idly if Miss Darcy or her friend were much for trimming bonnets, or whether they might lend her some of their dresses to wear, or make over. There was not likely to be much other entertainment to be had, as she was certain that Mr. Darcy would avoid company whenever possible. She sighed heavily. It was going to be a long journey.
Her father did nothing to help. His attention was absorbed in a book which he had brought along, apparently for this very purpose. Kitty rather envied his ability to sit and read for the whole of their journey. She suffered from terrible sickness whenever she tried to read in a moving carriage, and she did not have a novel with her that she was willing to suffer for. Instead, she was forced to look out the window and wonder, silently, about how awful things might really be at Pemberley. The only sound either of them made was Mr. Bennet's occasional snort of laughter, preventing Kitty from dozing off, which was her usual retreat.
She had never been half so far from home as Pemberley, and wondered briefly whether she might at least find some interesting places to explore around the estate or the nearby town. Travel for its own sake had never really appealed to her, no matter the current fad for it. But there was a bit of curiosity fueled by knowing that she was going somewhere entirely new. She wasn't completely sure whether she would be able to find a way to go out on her own. Her father did not object to her going into Meryton, but only, as she had heard him tell her mother, because "there is little enough trouble she could possibly get into with so many people about who know her, and with whom she must continue on good terms if she wishes to remain there. That should keep her in check."
She scoffed a little, under her breath, causing her father to glance up at her. "Did you say something, Kitty?"
"No, Papa, nothing."
He shrugged one shoulder and went back to his book. Kitty went back to staring out the window. This was going to be the longest trip of her life. Except, perhaps, the journey back home when it was all over, if she failed to find a husband before she came away.
It was the next day before Kitty was bored enough to try speaking to him. "Papa?"
He started, nearly dropped his book, and looked at her with such surprise that she immediately wished she could take back even the thought of speaking with him. After several moments of strained silence, he finally said, "Kitty, did you mean to attract my attention, or were the long hours of idleness finally too much for your wits to handle?" She blushed, wishing she hadn't said anything and entirely unsure of how to respond to his sarcastic query. He continued. "Come, come, child; your mother would have been talking my ear off this entire journey. I have been unaccustomed to such silence. If you would like to speak, you are welcome to do so; and I promise to give you as much attention as I would give to her."
This was not much encouragement (strictly speaking, it was not encouragement at all), but Kitty felt desperately that she must say something to redeem herself a little bit in her father's eyes. "I… I only wished… that is…" She panicked, having completely forgotten whatever half-formed question she had been working towards, and said in a rush, "I only wished to know how much longer before we must change horses again."
There was that sarcastic eyebrow, reaching for his ever-retreating hairline. Kitty avoided wincing at it, but only just. "I believe that we have some time to go, yet. Do you need to stop and stretch your legs? I believe it is safe to stop here for a few moments if you need it. There are, as far as I know, no highwaymen on this stretch of road."
Kitty had not thought of the risk of highwaymen, and though some of her novels featured rather fascinating men of that profession, she found that she was not very keen on encountering one outside the pages of a book, and informed her father, with as much dignity as she could manage, that she would be quite able to wait until they stopped again for the horses. His only response was to smirk, which drove Kitty to say something else that she would probably regret.
"When we arrive there, do you imagine there will be any dancing?"
He sighed and turned his open book over his knee to keep his place. "I do not imagine there will be any dancing for the majority of your stay there, or any flirtation, or any frivolity at all, if I can help it. I am not taking you to your sister that you might make as ridiculous a spectacle of yourself at Pemberley as you are suffered to do at Longbourn, Catherine."
This stung, probably more than he intended, and Kitty's throat tightened. "I have no intention of making a spectacle of any sort, Papa, and I never had."
"You did an admirable job of persuading me otherwise," Mr. Bennet said, half under his breath. He shook his head and glanced at her. "Nevertheless, now is as good a time as any to have this conversation. I will not have you behaving at Pemberley as you have been suffered to do at Longbourn. You will not leave the house unescorted, and you will need to find something more productive to fill your days than finding new ways to make young men irritated with you. I have asked Elizabeth to limit the number of social outings, which she will be happy to do, I am sure, and I hope that you will take this opportunity to find a way to better yourself."
Kitty's heart sank further with every word. "Papa, I do not—"
"Do not argue with me on this, Kitty. I will not hear it. My mind is made up. I will not have another Lydia on my hands."
"Lydia managed to find a husband all right," Kitty said, unable to keep her voice from rising.
"Lydia managed to entrap herself with a scandalous rake whose only mistake in choosing her was getting caught. She is not an example to follow. She is a lesson to learn from. The only reason she was able to escape from that ordeal with her reputation even mostly intact is because Mr. Darcy is a damned fool in love."
"But—" That was nothing like the portrait Lydia had painted of her marriage.
"No, Kitty. I will not be gainsaid."
"What will I do with myself? You have left me nothing to entertain myself!"
"You could try learning how to be a rational human being," Mr. Bennet said, in a tone which suggested that he did not truly anticipate her taking him seriously. "Or finding some way of occupying your time that is not so wholly dependent on the willingness of others to humor your foolishness."
Kitty knew that this was her father's opinion of her. She knew that he considered her to be stupid, and thoughtless, and shameless. But this—this casting it up before her and laughing at her, without allowing her any means of escape, was a painful experience, and Kitty had no one else there to deflect his wit toward. Helpless frustration filled her, and her eyes burned with unshed tears. She knew it was only going to make matters worse, but she could not help herself. He had pushed her too far to care about that.
"I hate you," she whispered. The tears welled up in her eyes however much she tried to fight them back. "You are the worst, cruelest, most hateful man I have ever known, and I wish to God that I had been born to anyone else!"
"Well, if you had, you would probably hate him just as much, so you will forgive me if I do not trouble myself overmuch about it," Mr. Bennet said with a shrug. He lifted his book from his knee and began to read again.
Kitty could only stare at him and will the tears to leave her alone. She was losing that battle, as well, and they began to fall down her cheeks. She could not allow herself to lose her composure completely, and prove her father right! It was everything she could do to keep from bursting into sobs right there.
How could he? He did not know her. He had never taken the trouble to know her.
And she could never hope to get out from under his roof unless she could find a husband. Which she could never hope to do if she followed his stupid rules. There was no hope for her. And no choice; she would have to disobey him just to get away from him.
As you may have guessed, I didn't have a chance to publish a new chapter before I left for vacation. That just means you get 4 chapters this week instead of 2! I'll be back with more tomorrow. Thankfully, I had a fantastic trip, and it made my day to come back to so many new reviews and follows! You guys are the absolute best.