A/N: Ah, nothing like some quality Kataangst! This one takes place after "The Ember Island Players" and I think you may know what it's about...

I wanted this one to be pretty angsty so I put on some Radiohead (OK Computer, to be exact)... and I think it turned out alright! I think from now on I'm going to share the music I listen to when I write these, just in case anyone is curious!

This fic is going up a day after my last one... I don't really have a set upload schedule as of now, I'm just kind of throwing them up when I feel happy with them. Maybe that will change in the future.

As always, feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think! Enjoy! :)

Katara stepped out onto the balcony of Zuko's family estate. It was a gorgeous evening on Ember Island; the waning sun lit up the sky in streaks of peach and crimson while the ocean lapped up gently along the dark sand. The warm summer breeze tickled her skin. On another day, she might have appreciated the beauty.

Not today.

She looked out over the railing, her long hair catching the breeze, searching for something or someone or anything to help her set her head straight. In front of the others, she put on a face. In front of the others, she went about her normal business with quiet efficiency. In front of the others, she pretended like nothing was wrong.

But everything was wrong.

Only a day removed from that stupid play, Katara was an internal wreck. She was a seething cauldron of confusion, anger and guilt. She didn't know what to think, or who to be mad at, or whether to be mad at all... her mind raced a mile a minute as she tried to piece together the tattered remains of her emotions. Tears began to form at the base of her sapphire eyes as she thought of him.

Aang.

Aang had kissed her. Aang had kissed her last night at the play. And she had refused it.

She clenched her fists as the first tears fell. She felt a wave of anger first.

How could he have been so stupid? I said it wasn't the right time! And he had the nerve to kiss me?! Doesn't he know how confused and afraid I am? He's about to face the Fire Lord, the most dangerous person in the world, only days from now, and he just - just waltzes up and kisses me?! Doesn't he know... doesn't he know... how scared I am for him? How scared that I'm going to lose him? How horrible the thought of him... dying... makes me feel? How much it hurts to lose someone... someone you love? Doesn't he understand how... how...

Katara slumped over the railing and started to cry. Cold, heavy tears fell freely between her guttural sobs. The warmth of the evening did little to comfort her. Her emotions swirled and tumbled across her mind before manifesting as pure grief.

Now, more than ever, she needed Aang. She needed his counsel, his advice. She needed his steady voice, his quiet wisdom, his reassuring smile. She needed to gaze into his grey eyes; his beautiful, infinitely expressive storm grey eyes...

Her anger turned to guilt when she realized she couldn't. She had broken his heart.

She had broken the heart of the one she loved... the one boy who made everything in her world so... right. She never wanted to, of course. After the disaster of the invasion on the Day of Black Sun, she knew they needed to focus on a backup plan. She knew they needed to focus on defeating Ozai by the time the comet arrived. She knew he needed to focus on firebending. She knew the love she had for him, the deep, deep love for him, needed to be suppressed. She didn't want to be a distraction... if Aang died because of her, some how, some way... she could never forgive herself.

Aang hadn't spoken to her the whole day. He was so completely absorbed in his firebending training with Zuko, and when they came together for meals, he made pointed attempts to sit as far away from her as possible. She had gotten her wish. He was committed to his training... and not her. She should feel relieved then... isn't this what she wanted? For him to leave all thoughts of her behind and to focus on the task at hand?

Katara didn't feel relieved.

She felt empty. Completely empty. She felt like a part of her was missing.

By now, the sun had almost disappeared behind the horizon. Its blood red glow illuminated the last of the day. Katara managed to quell the last of her tears and stood up. She gazed along the beach, letting the soft lapping of the waves calm her frayed nerves. She breathed in deeply, allowing the warmth of the air flowing in and out of her lungs to soothe her psyche. She sniffed and wiped her wet sapphire eyes.

It's... it's going to be okay, Katara. You're a strong person... you can get through this. You did the right thing, for Aang's sake. Remember - you did this for Aang.

Yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help but feel sad. He had spent the whole day avoiding her. Every single time she looked at him, she saw the emptiness in his eyes. She tried to look for some semblance of that special feeling she knew he had for her... but she couldn't find it anywhere. He had completely closed her off. It was if they were mere acquaintances...

She missed him more than ever.

She had left him so lost, so confused, so sad... she had denied him, right to his face. She denied him as if the wonderful, magical love they had for each other meant nothing. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself it was for the greater good, she hated herself for it.

She stood out on the balcony for some time, letting the cooling breeze dry the remnants of her tears. By now, the sun had almost completely set, and the darkness of the impending night began to loom. She was about to head back inside when, suddenly, Katara heard a slight *whoosh* below her. She looked once more out into the evening and a pair of pale blue wings flashed before her eyes. It was Aang. He was heading for the beach.

Katara started inside. She could only imagine what he was thinking about. He probably hates me now... I - I tried to explain the situation to him last night, but it all came out so wrong... and then he kissed me... and I ran... and... and that look on his face... that horrible, horrible look on his face... he looked so sad...

She felt like crying all over again by the time she got to her room. She slumped down on her bed, determined to hold in her tears, when she felt something crumple underneath her. It was a note. The carefully brushed ink had just begun to set.

Katara

Last night I had so much on my mind, so much I was confused about... and I made a huge mistake.

I thought that we could have been something... that we could have been happy together... but I was wrong. I can see now that you don't feel the same way about me as I do you... and I've accepted that now. Like you said, sometimes it hurts more to care.

I'm sorry.

Aang

Katara's hands shook as she read the note over and over. Tears began to flow once more.

She had ruined everything.

She had crushed him. She had crushed his love for her. It was a love so pure, so sweet and reserved only for her... and she had crushed it.

Her sobbing slowed enough to allow her to read his note once more. She internalized and dissected every word. She felt the hurt, the anguish, the pain, the sadness, and the love in every brushstroke. He gave his heart to her and she turned it away. She had never felt more cold. She felt guilt and remorse wash over every fiber of her being...

That's when she realized...

Aang thought she didn't love him.

He... he thinks I don't love him? But... I do! I love him so much! He... he means the world to me! And I... I just... I just ruined everything! All I wanted was for him to focus on Ozai... so I wouldn't be a distraction... but I went too far and I just broke his heart... and now he doesn't want me anymore... oh, what have I done?

She ran to the balcony once more, hoping to see Aang somewhere along the shore. She had to make this right. She had to fix this. Sure enough, she spotted the faint outline of his figure a good ways along the sand. He was practicing waterbending... but something was off. He was thrashing the water; with each emphatic motion of his arms the water writhed and crashed and foamed. He formed huge waves with wild twists and turns of his body sent them crashing into himself. He was angry... and he was sad. Katara felt a huge pang of guilt and looked away. Waterbending was what they had loved to do together. Their bond always deepened when they waterbended together. Once upon a time they had been Master and pupil; friend and friend; lover and lover. It was always a dance; the water flowing effortlessly and beautifully between them. In many ways, it had always been an expression of their love; omnipresent, euphoric, and so very beautiful...

But Aang's bending of the waves was the exact opposite. It was grief-riddled and morose and hurt... so very hurt. He was conveying the gravity of his hurt feelings with every violent wave he created. He was mourning his love with the very bending that had made them so happy in the past... and it made Katara sick to her stomach, until she couldn't bear it any longer.

She turned around, broke into a run, and headed for the beach.

The crescent moon was shining brightly in the cloudless sky by the time she reached the sand. Aang was exhausted from his furious bending and was breathing heavy, labored breaths. His back was turned to Katara, but she was certain his face was full of anguish. She stood there silently; she assumed he hadn't heard her coming, for he had not reacted to her presence. She knew she needed to make the first move, but she was completely frozen. She was scared to say anything. She knew she had caused his pain, and she felt so very guilty at that moment that she was unsure if she could even speak to him. She didn't want anything like last night to happen again... what if she said something wrong? What if she only made things worse? Maybe I should just turn around...

"Do you need something?"

The sound of his voice shocked her back to reality. His words were cold and angry.

"Aang, I - I just wan-"

"What do you want? You made your feelings clear enough last night. I get it. You don't have to remind me."

His words stung her. He kept his back to her.

"I got your note."

"Yeah? Good. Everything I needed to say was in it. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone for a while."

"What? Don't... don't you want to talk? I've realized tha-"

"Please, just GO!"

He turned to face her. He dug into her with a searing glare. He was seething with anger. His pale blue tattoos seemed to almost glow with fury. He was soaking wet as a result of his bending deluge, and the water rippled and shone across his lean body in the moonlight. Katara suddenly felt scared. She knew she hurt him... but she didn't realize she hurt him this badly.

Katara's voice was frantic when she spoke next.

"Aang, listen to me! I - I know you're feeling hurt! And you have every right to! The way I treated you last night was... was just... I... I was just... just... I... I just felt... just felt... felt so... so..." Katara sank to her knees and began to sob. Aang's expression changed from anger to concern as he made his way closer to her. "I didn't mean to come off so horribly... I was just... I'm just... scared. So very scared..." She surprised herself at how quickly she broke down, but he needed to hear the truth. He needed to know how she really felt...

Aang knelt down in front of her and put his hand on her shoulder. She shivered at his touch but was crying too hard to look into his eyes. Neither of them spoke for some time.

"Katara... what are you scared of?" Aang's voice was much gentler this time. He felt positively guilty for having yelled at her.

Katara sniffed and tried to wipe away some of her flowing tears.

"I'm... I'm scared for you. I've been scared for some time... I was scared at the invasion... and I've been scared ever since... and as the days pass by I'm getting more and more scared that you... you... you won't..." She couldn't bear to say it aloud.

"You're scared I won't... come back?" She broke into a fresh sob and looked further away. "Is... is that why you said it wasn't the right time?"

She turned suddenly and looked fiercely into his warm grey eyes, unafraid of her tears. This was intimate. This was important.

"Yes... oh Aang... you mean so much to me. I hope you've at least known that. Our adventure together... it's meant the world to me. You mean the world to me... I just... I just didn't want you to... to have to..." She began to choke up.

Aang grabbed her and pulled her into a fierce embrace. He couldn't bear to see her so upset... over him. He wanted her to know he cared. He understood now how she had felt last night... he understood how scary it must have been for her when he had confronted her... she was scared of him dying... of course she was going to be wary! Now here she was, sobbing fitfully into his shoulder. Aang felt utterly guilty.

"Katara... I am so sorry. I - I was so aggressive last night... I didn't think about how you might feel..."

Katara felt touched. He was always so caring, so ready to empathize and to understand. She loved that about him. Her sobs subsided momentarily.

"Aang, I'm sorry... you gave me your heart and... I was too scared to take it... so I ran. I ran and left you in complete doubt of... of us... it felt so... so awful hurting you like that... I just... I just... don't want to lose you." She wiped her eyes and looked into his. She saw myriad emotions swirling around in each beautiful layer of grey... but most importantly, she saw forgiveness.

"Katara, I-"

She had crushed him in a deep embrace before he had time to say anything. She felt so right in his arms. He was still wet from his bending but she didn't care. She felt the warmth of his body course through hers... she blushed at the closeness and her heart swooned when she felt his beating so close to hers...

"Look at me," he said firmly, pulling out of the embrace. She obliged. "I don't know whether or not I'm going to come back. I don't know how brutal the battle may be. Believe me, I'm just as scared as you are. But I do know that... that I care about you... a lot." Aang blushed a furious crimson. "And I vow that I will try my absolute hardest... if it means not disappointing you."

For the first time that evening, Katara smiled.

"Oh Aang, I'm already so proud of you..." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, reassuring him their love was still strong, still alive somewhere beneath the chaos of their situation. She couldn't let Ozai take that away from them. "After... after this... this whole thing is all over... we... we ca-"

Aang stopped her when he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Her breath hitched and she looked back into his eyes. He was smiling.

"Come on, it's getting late. Let's head back."

Aang grabbed his staff and walked at Katara's side back to the estate. The last 24 hours had been an emotional roller coaster for the both of them... and now the air between them felt lighter. He knew he had a mission ahead of him - the most important battle of his life was just days away. He knew he must prioritize it over everything.

But maybe, just maybe... when it's all over... Katara will be waiting for him.